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PowerPoint MVPs - The Next Generation
1. PowerPoint: The Innovative Frontier These are the voyages of the Starship Presenterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new multimedia; to seek out new techniques and new add-ins; to boldly go where no presenter has gone before.
2. Starring April Dalke Michael Koerner Troy Chollar Taj Simmons Bill Dilworth Glenna Shaw Chirag Dalal Glen Millar Geetesh Bajaj
6. Michael Koerner, Captain of the Starship Presenterprise calls together his crew for a meeting in the ready room. They have orders from Admiral April Dalke of Slideshow Command. They are to create a new PowerPoint Presentation. This presentation will be unlike any other. They are to use all the latest techniques and tools and make sure the presentation can be used by every member of every planet in the Federation.
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8. Captain Koerner wastes no time in making assignments. He tells First Officer, Lt. Commander Troy Chollar, “Number One, you will be responsible for integrating all the elements into the presentation. I don’t care if you Flash it or Bash it, just make sure it Plays For Certain. You might want to do some research on Ancestor Myers. Use the Analects of Austin as your guide.”
9. “ Background Officer Taj Simmons, you will produce backgrounds for the presentation and work with Animation Chief Glen Millar to create some really spectacular animations. You both know I’ll be looking for something really awesome. And don’t forget the triggers! We’re sure to find those useful.”
10. “ Science Officer Bill Dilworth and Chief Engineer Chirag Dalal, you both are to ensure that all VB components are working effectively and efficiently. While you’re at it, double check the hyperlinks and action settings. There’s nothing worse than making a jump and landing on the wrong slide.”
11. “ Communications Officer Geetesh Bajaj, your assignment will be to collaborate with the add-in vendors and publish the final product in as many venues as possible. You’ll also be the one who writes the news releases and reviews.”
12. Just then the bridge informs Captain Koerner that an Academy-Class ship is approaching. It’s Dr. David. M. Marcovitz, Instructor Bill Foley and the famous author Kathy Jacobs. They will be lending their expertise to the project. Their knowledge of PowerPoint as a training aid will be invaluable. And their skill with interactivity and learning games will really make the product enjoyable. Captain Koerner tells Ensign Tony Ramos to escort the esteemed visitors to the ready room right away.
13. The bridge calls again to let Captain Koerner know that MSOrg is contacting the ship. “ Greetings, MVPs. Please be informed that the rogue ET (alias Eddie Tuff) has been spotted in the area. After his last tour, no problems are anticipated, but should you encounter him, it’s up to you to handle the situation. We’ve made it very clear that we do not wish the MVPs to be MS evangelists. It’s your feedback that allows us to improve our products. We will be integrated. Recognition is worthwhile. MSOrg out.”
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15. Captain Koerner asks, “Number One, do we still have some of those tribble autoshapes in stasis?” He smiles wickedly, “I think Mr. Tuff might enjoy some company. Lots and lots of company.”
16. Captain Koerner turns to Counselor Glenna Shaw, “Counselor, I believe you can handle the graphics.” Counselor Shaw replies, “Darn it, Mike! I’m an interactivity and accessibility expert, not a designer. Let Ensign Ramos handle it, he’s a great graphics artist, even if he’s the most junior member.”
17. Captain Koerner replies, “Very well then. I’ve received a special request from the Equal Access Counsel. You will be working with Ambassador Pia Bork, Ambassador Sang Hoon Lee, Ambassador Jean-Pierre Forestier, Ambassador Enric Mañas López and Ambassador Ute Simon. They’ll be pitching in with charts, maps and even some documentary elements. This team will also be handling the intergalactic translations as well as publicity.”
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19. Ensign Ramos returns. Captain Koerner tells him, “I expect some high quality graphics from you but be sure you don’t neglect your Blogger duties. If it gets to be too much, I’m sure Communications Officer Bajaj can help.”
20. GASP! Just then a group walks in that is so alien all members of the crew gasp in shock!
21. It’s the MAConians of Planet OSX! At first MAConians Mickey Stevens, Jim Gordon, and Paul Berkowitz are completely unintelligible. Counselor Shaw, mumbling something about "dink different" makes a few tweaks on their communicators and in no time, they’ve made it clear that they will be handling the compatibility issues for the presentation.
22. At that moment, the “Intruder Alert” sounds and a strange being mysteriously appears. “ I am the omnipotent RicB of the Presentation Continuum. I am here to inform you that the Continuum has decided to make PowerPoint better than ever but it is not given to me to reveal The Mysteries. You may press F1 to consult the Oracle. May The Fonts be with you.”
23. So this group of extraterrestrial MVPs formed their own collective to produce many other-worldly presentations. And what was begun by the Great and Well Preserved MVP Ancestors, Brian Reilly, Steve Rindsberg, Austin Myers, Echo Swinford, Sonia Coleman, and Shyam Pillai is itself preserved for generations to come.
“ PowerPoint: The Innovative Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Presenterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new multimedia; to seek out new techniques and new add-ins; to boldly go where no presenter has gone before.”