1. St. Thomas Aquinas “Keep It Sweet”
DEFINITION OF GOSSIP
 Gossip- casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people,
typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.
 “Words can be quite hurtful, and can cause tremendous heartache and
problems for those victimized by this form of bullying. Yes, gossip is simply
another form of bullying.”(racebridgesforschools.com)
 Today’s schools would benefit strongly from establishing and enforcing a zero
tolerance policy on bullying of any kind within the building. It is essential, then,
for schools and teachers to be as proactive as possible about the presence of
gossip amongst their students.
Background Information
 In the course of developing friendships, many adolescent girls will belong to a
number of social groups or cliques as they move through school.
 Transitioning from group to group may carry problems including other group
members' envy or jealousy. This can result in an amazing amount of gossiping
and other forms of indirect bullying.
 Another source of gossiping can come in breaking the implied rules of the clique.
 In the United States, bullying among children and teenagers has often been
dismissed as a normal part of growing up.
 Bullying includes a wide variety of behaviors, but all involve a person or a group
repeatedly trying to harm someone who is weaker or more vulnerable. It can
involve direct attacks (such as hitting, threatening or intimidating, maliciously
teasing and taunting, name-calling, making sexual remarks, and stealing or
damaging belongings) or more subtle, indirect attacks (such as spreading rumors
or encouraging others to reject or exclude someone).
 “Gossip has long been considered a normal part of a teenager’s life. At its best,
gossip may only be one person passing on personal information about someone
else. But at its worst, gossip can be a malicious form of slander and accusation
that can injure a teen’s self-esteem. With the advent of the Internet and cell
phones, gossip has become far more socially and emotionally damaging for many
teens.”(Global Post.com)
 “There is now an increasing awareness of indirect bullying by girls in particular.
This can consist of passing rumors or lies about another person, either in person
or via cell phones or the Internet. This can have a profoundly negative effect on a

2. St. Thomas Aquinas “Keep It Sweet”
teen’s mental and emotional health and social development, according to
Bullying Statistics.”(globalpost.com)
Emotional problems with gossiping and bullying:
 Gossip becomes emotional bullying when teens intentionally use it to socially
isolate a fellow student, leaving her alone and often depressed about being
excluded. This can be difficult for teens to cope with, as they are particularly
sensitive to what their peers think of them. The simple act of eating lunch alone
can become a traumatic event when a teen is aware that others are discussing
and intentionally excluding her.
Effects of gossip…
 Gossip can become a form of indirect or emotional bullying.
 Gossip can be a malicious form of slander and accusation that can injure a teen’s
self-esteem.
 Gossip as cyber bullying has led to depression for many teens and in some cases,
suicide, says Bullying Statistics.
 There is now an increasing awareness of indirect bullying by girls in particular.
This can consist of passing rumors or lies about another person, either in person
or via cell phones or the Internet.
What causes low self-esteem?
 systematic punishment, neglect or abuse
 failing to meet parental standards
 failing to meet peer-group standards
 being on the receiving end of other people's stress or distress.
 belonging to a family or social group that other people are prejudiced towards
 an absence of praise, warmth, affection or interest
 being the odd one out, at home or at school.
Why do people gossip?--
 People fear the unknown. If people don’t have information that they want,
they fear the unknown and will try to garner it from others – especially if that
information appears to be hidden. This is why closed door conversations are
so detrimental.
 People want to belong and be included. If people believe they don’t have
information that others have, they will feel excluded and on the outside of the
“inner circle.” Information is power. Everyone wants to be part of the team, to

3. St. Thomas Aquinas “Keep It Sweet”
be included and the easiest way to identify those who are part of a tribe are
those who are “in the know.”
 People crave intimacy and a sense of connection. I would suggest that
because of the rampant pace we live at and the lack of real deal authentic
communication with one another, many people crave a sense of genuine
human connection and intimacy. Gossip is one of the quickest and easiest
ways to connect with another human being. The secrecy, forbidden and
exclusive nature of confiding in someone something that’s a bit subversive or
judgmental is social super glue. Through the veneer of momentary
vulnerability and trust, the two are bonded. Unfortunately gossip is a very
sloppy second to real, meaningful connection.
 People want to work with people they think of as peers. Meaning, if
someone isn’t carrying their own weight, isn’t competent or capable enough to
do their job or simply isn’t a good culture fit, then there will be gossip. Rather
than being a “nark,” employees will talk both about said individual and
leadership’s lack of awareness/action. And they will talk often. The longer
said individual goes unaddressed, the louder and more embedded the gossip
becomes.
Sites Consulted:
http://www.onguardonline.gov/media/video-0005-stand-cyberbullying VIDEO
http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/gossip-affects-teens-8112.html
http://www.overcoming.co.uk/single.htm?ipg=8611
http://www.choosepeople.com/blog/top-4-reasons-why-people-gossip/
Alternatives:
1. Journaling
2. Stand UP
3. Speak UP
Pros of Alternatives:
 Journaling: The situation is not escalated among your peers leading to more
trouble. In addition, your feelings are expressed without causing more gossiping
to occur among your own friends.
 Stand Up: The problem is brought to attention and possibly resolved. Others will
see you as a positive example and support you in that moment, and possibly stand
up to gossiping later on.
 Speak Up: The person who is gossiping will hopefully see that their words have
been hurtful and see the errors of their ways, thus leading to the problem being
solved.

4. St. Thomas Aquinas “Keep It Sweet”
Cons of Alternatives:
 Journaling: While you might be able to feel better about the situation, the
problem is still not resolved, and people do not see that gossiping is hurtful to
everyone
 Stand Up and Speak Up: These alternatives could lead to situations escalating,
more people brought into the problem, and possibly nothing getting resolved and
allowing more gossiping to occur in anger.
 Gossip is the number on reason for low self-esteem in middle
school and high school aged girls
Action Plan:
1. Make a skit to show younger students what gossip looks like and
the damaging effect it has on students.
2. Have students in the school sign a pledge to not gossip about
others.
3. The pledge will remain in the hallway of the school as a reminder
not to gossip.
4. When students sign the pledge, pass out heart lollipops to remind
them that everything that comes out of their mouths should be
“sweet”.
Related Information:
10 Tips About Bullying and Harassment
1. Talk about bullying with your kids.
2. Make sure that there is at least one meal a day when you and
your family meet and talk. In addition, enjoy a break from the TV,
phone and computer.
3. Get to know your children's friends. Meet the parents of your
child's friends.
4. Plan times where your child has time to talk with other trusted
adults. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, older relatives or friends can
be important mentors to children.
5. Take your child to the library or bookstore to explore books on
keeping safe and making good friends.

5. St. Thomas Aquinas “Keep It Sweet”
6. Meet with your child's teachers if your child faces problems with
bullying at school.
7. Explore the Let's Talk Activity Booklet and discuss your family
rules about bullying.
8. If your child is having problems bullying, report it to the school
counsellor, principal or teacher.
9. Many TV and Web programs promote violence. Talk about how
people can solve problems without bullying or becoming violent.
10. Know that kids are closely watching every adult in the home
to see if bullying is OK. Work to make sure that adults model
respect in your home.
There are ten ways to stop a bully
1. Put on a brave face
2. Have a friend around
3. Avoid the bully
4. Ignore bullies
5. Confront the bully
6. Report the bullying
7. Improve your self-esteem
8. Control your feelings
9. Stand up for yourself when it gets bad
10. Don’t bully back
Characteristics of Genuinely Low Self Esteem
 Social withdrawal
 Anxiety and emotional turmoil
 Lack of social skills and self confidence
 Depression and/or bouts of sadness
 Less social conformity
 Eating disorders
 Inability to accept compliments
 An Inability to see yourself 'squarely' - to be fair to yourself
 Accentuating the negative
 Exaggerated concern over what you imagine other people think
 Self-neglect
 Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
 Worrying whether you have treated others badly
 Reluctance to take on challenges

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 Reluctance to put yourself first or anywhere.
 Reluctance to trust your own opinion Expecting little out of life for yourself
Sites Consulted:
http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/articles/top-ten-facts-about-low-self-
esteem/#sthash.Spo3v45g.dpuf
http://www.letstalksantafe.org/index.php/en/family-talks-bullying-10-tips
http://www.surfnetparents.com/1477/10-ways-to-stop-a-bully/#sthash.MdZitVu4.dpuf
Parts of the Presentation at the Summit
Background: Dymond and Akyra
Action Plan: Isis and Daeja
Alternatives: Dayjah B. and Chantaisa