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PSY 126 Week 5: Communications, Emotions, & Criticism

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Communications, Emotions,
& Criticism
Matthew L. Eisenhard, Psy.D.
Week 5: Psychology for Business & Industry
Interpersonal Communication
• INTERPERSONAL skills are built on the foundation of
your intrapersonal skills.
▫ Behavior is...
Organizational Structure
• Refers to the way management designs a firm in order to meet
their mission and goals.
• Structu...

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PSY 126 Week 5: Communications, Emotions, & Criticism

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SlideShare presentation for Week 5 PSY 126 with Dr. Eisenhard.

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  1. 1. Communications, Emotions, & Criticism Matthew L. Eisenhard, Psy.D. Week 5: Psychology for Business & Industry
  2. 2. Interpersonal Communication • INTERPERSONAL skills are built on the foundation of your intrapersonal skills. ▫ Behavior is what we say and do… ▫ Therefore - communication is behavior. ▫ Your communication style (your behavior) affects all aspects of your professional and personal life.  People will behave in a similar way to the way you treat them.
  3. 3. Organizational Structure • Refers to the way management designs a firm in order to meet their mission and goals. • Structure Determines: ▫ Who works together. ▫ How communication flows. ▫ What the policies, procedures, and rules will be. • Current Structural Trends: ▫ Organizations are redesigning their processes. ▫ “Streamlining” is taking place (getting rid of layers of management). ▫ Going to team-based structures. ▫ Making being a team-player more important than ever. ▫ Multinational Companies (MNC’s) have many companies within their structure – called Business Units (BU’s) – creating M-Form structures that focus on particular products, customers, or geographies.
  4. 4. Principles of Organization • In order to design a successful organization you must determine the following: ▫ What the division of labor is– how are jobs sub-divided.  And departmentalization - grouping related activities into units. ▫ What the chain of command is- who is accountable to who. ▫ What the span of management is – how many workers are under each management position. ▫ Where the decisions are finalized – who is the final authority – where does the buck stop – is it…  Centralized – top management makes the decisions, or…  Decentralized – lower-level management makes decisions. ▫ How you coordinate it to all work together in a smooth system.
  5. 5. Organizational Communication • Is the compounded interpersonal communication across the whole organization. ▫ VERTICAL COMMUNICATION (FORMAL)  Up and down the chain of command .  Downward = upper level tells lower level management what to do.  Upward = lower levels send messages to upper level – it is vital to success of business. ▫ HORIZONTAL COMMUNICATION (LATERAL)  Information flow between coworkers & peers. ▫ GRAPEVINE COMMUNICATION  Informal flow of information thru the whole org.  Gossip/rumors and inaccurate reports are a danger.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LImUb_yf_ps
  6. 6. Digital Information Technology • New communication technologies have changed the way we communicate in our professional and personal lives. • INTERNET, E-MAIL, TEXTING, WIRELESS ▫ Internet (www) is global connection of computer networks. ▫ Accessed by computers, phones, and hand-held devices. ▫ E-mail most common form of communication on the job. ▫ E-mail & texting replacing the U.S. Postal system. • E-COMMERCE, MOBILE WORKERS, M-COMMERCE ▫ Business is conducted electronically – see exhibit 5-3. ▫ New trend is M2M (machine to machine) connecting all digital devices. ▫ Today many people don’t work in an office – they are mobile and use electronic devices to communicate – even laptops are outdated. ▫ Mobile technology will be most influential in next 15 years – shopping by using m-commerce devices.
  7. 7. Digital Information Technology • SOCIAL MEDIA ▫ Many businesses are using FACEBOOK. ▫ Politicians are too. ▫ Zuckerberg’s goal is to make it the standardized form of all communication for work and pleasure.  Over 500 million users – 35% of entire Internet population using. • CLOUD COMPUTING ▫ Any service or program sent over an Internet connections. ▫ Enables companies to use raw computing power, storage, apps, and data from large data centers. ▫ Customer pays only for services used – cutting IT costs and upgrading.
  8. 8. The Communication Process • CIRCULAR – not linear. ▫ Sender encodes and transmits a message through a selected channel to a receiver who decodes it and may give feedback.
  9. 9. Sending the Message • SENDER ▫ The one who starts the communication. • ENCODING ▫ Puts the message into a form the receiver will understand. • MESSAGE ▫ The physical form of what you want to relate.  Sender’s thoughts. • SELECT THE CHANNEL ▫ E.S.P. usually not a choice. ▫ Oral – nonverbal – written.
  10. 10. Receiving the Message • Receiver ▫ The person getting the message (hopefully). • Decoding ▫ The receiver’s process of translating the message into a meaningful form. ▫ We usually combine messages with other ideas and perceptions when we are decoding. ▫ We need to take the sender’s experience into consideration. ▫ The message is always whatever the receiver perceives it to be regardless of what the sender may or may not have intended.
  11. 11. Feedback • Responding to a message is giving feedback. ▫ The roles of sender & receiver switch back and forth in a communication process. • It is up to the receiver to decide if feedback is needed. ▫ But even silence can be feedback. • Giving positive feedback increases performance ▫ Looking for something positive to say is always preferable to dealing in negatives. ▫ People respond to positive in a positive manner.  And vice versa.
  12. 12. Problems with Communication • Perception - choice of words – language ▫ Semantics = choosing the right word.  What a word means to one may not be the same to another. ▫ Jargon = special terms of a certain group.  Also beware acronyms. • Information overload ▫ Too much information.  Like a clogged drain – nothing gets through.  Tune-out time! • Using a wrong channel ▫ How you deliver the message is as important as what it is.  A wrong channel can result in a wrong message. ▫ What is most effective for the situation.  Do I call – write – email – send smoke signals - or chat in person?
  13. 13. Problems in Receiving • Noise ▫ Internal or external – distractions interfere . • Trust & credibility ▫ How well do you know the sender?  Is this person who they say they are? – can you verify that? ▫ Do you trust them?  Have they lied to you before – or do you have reason to believe they are lying now? ▫ Do you believe they know what they are talking about?  Do they present credible facts and evidence?  What are their credentials? Are they an “expert”?
  14. 14. Problems in Receiving • Not-listening ▫ Hearing is the physical process – we assume here that the receiver can “hear.”  When the receiver is deaf - how does that affect the process? ▫ Listening is much more complex.  It is a mental function – not physical. • Emotional interference ▫ Emotions are by nature not logical or rational – you can’t be objective when you are emotional.  Anger – fear – sorrow – hurt – shock – happy & beyond. ▫ They can and do interfere in how someone translates an incoming message. ▫ Senders should be calm and not provoke emotions in the receivers…. (unless that is the message).
  15. 15. Problems in Receiving • Filtering ▫ Altering or distorting information - LYING to project a more favorable image. • Gender ▫ Gender differences can lead to miscommunications. • Language ▫ Speaking different languages makes it difficult. • Culture ▫ So can coming from different cultures (even within the same country).
  16. 16. Gender Differences • Men and women talk for different reasons. • Men ▫ Talk to emphasis status – male competitiveness. ▫ Talk about “things” and “events.”  The truck – the game – non-emotional subjects. ▫ Tend to want to solve problems.  Feel in control – assert independence – fix it.  When talking to women it’s much better to just listen and give reflective responses. • Women ▫ Talk to create connections & develop relationships.  People – feelings – emotions. • Male – female brains are hard-wired differently. ▫ One not better than the other – just different. ▫ Men use about 7,000 – 10,000 words a day. ▫ Women use about 20,000 – 25,000 words a day.
  17. 17. Cross-Cultural Differences • CULTURAL CONTEXT ▫ We all send and receive messages and evaluate behavior based on our cultural experience. ▫ HIGH CONTEXT CULTURES  Rely heavily on nonverbal & subtle situational cues more than the actual spoken word.  Who you are – your place in society – reputation – are as important (if not more so) than what is said.  Spend more time building rapport & developing relationships.  A “man’s word” more than a legal contract. ▫ LOW CONTEXT CULTURES  Rely more on actual words.  Value more direct, get down to business style.  More likely to give direct orders to subordinates.  The contract is more precise & valued.
  18. 18. Cross-Cultural Differences • Social Conventions ▫ How soon actual business is begun over social activities.  North Americans want to get right to business.  Arabs or Japanese prefer a more indirect route. ▫ How loud people talk – how close they stand. ▫ How punctual people are.  Middle Easterners – talk loudly – stand closer.  Americans and Japanese want punctuality.  Arabs or Latin Americans think it’s okay to be late – maybe even a show of respect.
  19. 19. Cross-Cultural Differences • Language, etiquette, politeness ▫ Even if you are speaking the same language there are still different usages depending on where you are. ▫ What is considered rude in one place is not in another. ▫ When in Rome – do as the Romans do. • Nonverbal communication ▫ Messages that are sent without words. ▫ Gestures do not cross cultures very well because we do not all share the same symbolism. ▫ But facial gestures are more universal.  Eye contact is expected in some cultures – but rude in others. ▫ Touching can be a big issue.  North Americans & N. Europeans don’t like it so much.
  20. 20. Overcoming Cultural Obstacles • Remember we are not all the same – find out the differences and the similarities. ▫ Don’t judge someone’s actions until you understand their culture – and what they mean by what they are doing. ▫ Put yourself in the other persons shoes – be pro-active in finding out what is expected in the culture you are interacting with. • When in doubt – ask. • Follow the other person’s lead – if they bow, then bow back, etc.
  21. 21. Planning the Message • 5 skills to help you send messages face-to-face: ▫ Develop rapport  Small talk – set the receiver at ease – build relationship. ▫ State the objective  It is sometimes helpful for the receiver to know what your ultimate goal is. ▫ Send the message  Give the information– be explicit – set deadlines - give plenty of time and don’t overload. ▫ Check for understanding  Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said.  Merely asking if they understand or have questions is not enough. ▫ Get a commitment and follow up  Don’t just assume people are acting on your message – check in and check up.
  22. 22. Checking for Understanding • FEEDBACK ▫ Is a process to verify messages. • BIGGEST MISTAKE ▫ Is asking if there “are any questions?” ▫ People have a tendency NOT to ask questions. ▫ Senders then assume the message was understood. ▫ It often is not. • WHAT WORKS ▫ Be open and responsive and patient. ▫ Be aware of nonverbal communication. ▫ Ask direct questions about what you just said. ▫ Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said.
  23. 23. Most Used & Least Effective Communication Skill • LISTENING IS THE COMMUNICATION SKILL WE USE THE MOST ▫ 70 – 80 % of our waking hours are spent in some sort of communication.  9% writing – 16% reading – 30% talking.  45% listening.  But it is the skill we perform the poorest. • WHY IS THAT??? ▫ Lack of training.  Not typically taught in school - & not many workshops available.
  24. 24. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ Thinking is faster than speaking.  Rate of speech = average = 125 wpm.  Mental capacity to understand 400 /600 wpm.  When listening to average speaker – use about 25% mental capacity – leaves 75% of the mind to wander… and it does.  Americans perceive fast talkers (200+wpm) as more credible – smarter – and are more persuaded by them.  Alternatively other research says – slow down – people will understand you better.  So…leaves you with the choice of being more credible and convincing or being more correctly understood – depends on your agenda.
  25. 25. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ We are inefficient at listening – not focusing – not paying attention – memory functions.  After listening to a 10 min. oral presentation…  Average listener understands and retains 50%.  After 48 hours – it drops to 25%.  After a week we retain only about 10%.  We can keep only about 5-7 bits of information in our short term memory.  After that we must commit it to long term memory.  Many things affect what we decide to save as permanent.
  26. 26. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ AGE RELATED  Listening skills diminish with advancing age.  First & second graders listen about 90% of the time.  By junior high = only 44% are listening.  In high school the average drops to 28%.  Senior citizens have hearing problems that interfere. ▫ IT’S HARD WORK TO LISTEN  Intense concentration over an extended period of time produces both physical and mental exhaustion.
  27. 27. Active Listening • Hearing what people are really saying. • Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. • How well you listen has a major impact on your job success and on the quality of your personal relationships, not to mention your grades. • By becoming a better listener you can: ▫ Improve your productivity, ability to influence, persuade, and negotiate. ▫ Improve management of conflict and avoid misunderstandings. ▫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP55nA8fQ9I
  28. 28. Tips for Active Listening • Pay attention ▫ Their lips are moving…. • Avoid distractions ▫ Turn off the cell phone – look at the speaker. • Stay tuned in ▫ Don’t let your mind wander – don’t plan what you are going to say… just listen first. • Do not assume and interrupt ▫ Wait until you hear the whole message. • Watch for nonverbal cues ▫ Do the words match the nonverbal cues.
  29. 29. Tips for Active Listening • Ask questions ▫ If you don’t understand ask for clarification. • Take notes ▫ Especially needed when getting instructions. • Convey meaning ▫ Let the speaker know when you do understand. • Analyze – think ▫ Organize and repeat in your mind what you heard.
  30. 30. Tips for Active Listening • Evaluate after listening ▫ Wait until the speaker is finished before you make a judgment. • Evaluate facts ▫ Base your conclusions on facts not opinions or generalities. • Check for understanding – paraphrase ▫ Consistently paraphrase – it is a fail-safe checking device. • Watch for nonverbal cues ▫ Again – read nonverbal for clues to understanding.
  31. 31. Response Styles • ADVISING ▫ Provides: evaluation, personal opinion, direction/instruction. ▫ Don’t give advice unless you are directly asked for it. ▫ Giving it too readily tends to build undue dependence. • DIVERTING ▫ Switches the focus - a.k.a.- changing the subject. ▫ Makes the sender think his/her message was not important. ▫ Sometimes a good way to avoid arguments.
  32. 32. Response Styles • PROBING ▫ Asking for elaboration – more information. ▫ Useful to help in understanding. • REASSURING ▫ Given to be supportive of emotional messages. ▫ Means “don’t worry” – you are pacifying. ▫ Appropriate when the other person lacks confidence. • REFLECTING ▫ Paraphrases the message back to sender. ▫ Conveys understanding and acceptance. ▫ Used to be empathic – help develop strong H/R skills.
  33. 33. Response Styles
  34. 34. Situational Communication Styles • AUTOCRATIC – HIGH TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP ▫ Take charge without input from others. ▫ Demand compliance - don’t consider other options. • CONSULTATIVE – HIGH TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP ▫ Let others know you want something - ask for input. ▫ Ask questions & show concern for others opinions – be empathic. • PARTICIPATIVE – LOW TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP ▫ Helpful and supportive. ▫ Encourage others to give input. • LAISSEZ-FAIRE – LOW TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP ▫ Low initiative and response. ▫ Give only needed information. ▫ Allow others to be in charge.
  35. 35. Situational Variables • When deciding the best communication style to use you must consider: ▫ TIME  Is it an emergency? Do I have time to consider others or do I need to make quick decisive action? ▫ INFORMATION  Do I know everything I need to know to make decision or take an action?  Yes – autocratic may be best.  Only some info – consultative may be best.  None or little info – participative or laissez-faire. ▫ ACCEPTANCE  You must always gauge the extent of acceptance by others.  What good is to take an autocratic stance if no one complies - how can you lead if no one follows… ▫ CAPABILITY  ABILITY – What is the level of knowledge/experience – what can they do?  MOTIVATION – Do they want to participate?
  36. 36. Understanding Emotions • We all have FEELINGS-EMOTIONS – we can’t control what we feel… ▫ They are subjective. ▫ And judgment should not be placed on them… • But we can control our BEHAVIOR. • Our emotions and feelings are revealed through our NONVERBAL communications. ▫ We may say one thing (behavior) and yet reveal a different message through our nonverbal messages….
  37. 37. Nonverbals Convey Feelings • 6 BASIC - UNIVERSAL EMOTIONS… HAPPINESS SURPRISE FEAR SADNESS ANGER DISGUST
  38. 38. Emotional Labor • Requires the expression of feeling through desired behavior. • Emotional regulation ▫ Important for good H/R skills and job performance. ▫ Management should encourage POSITIVE emotional expression. ▫ Lack of ability to control NEGATIVE emotional behavior is contributing to an increase in workplace violence. ▫ It is important to not get caught up in other peoples emotional outbursts.  If someone yells at you…don’t yell back.  Meeting negativity with negativity only increases it.
  39. 39. Cultural Differences • Remember – what is acceptable in one culture may not be in others. • Emotional labor expectations vary across cultures. ▫ Some cultures lack words to express certain emotions. ▫ And then interpret emotional displays differently. • In the U.S. – we are expected to SMILE and be friendly. ▫ In Muslim cultures smiling is taken as a sexual attraction – so women are discouraged from smiling at men.
  40. 40. Dealing with Emotional People • Remember…emotions can be a barrier to effective communication. • CALMING THE EMOTIONAL PERSON ▫ Don’t Argue, Mirror Negativity, or Belittle.  Never use “put-downs.”  Don’t try to make them feel guilty.  These only cause more negative feelings and nothing gets resolved. ▫ Do be Empathetic and use Reflecting Statements.  Use EMPATHIC LISTENING = the ability to understand and relate to another’s situation and feelings.  You don’t have to agree with them – but just try to put yourself in their shoes.  Use REFLECTIVE STATEMENTS = paraphrase feeling back to the person – it validates their right to have their feelings.  This allows the person to calm down, and then you can work on resolving the problems.
  41. 41. Criticism • The act of making a judgment, or an evaluation using specific rules of engagement. ▫ Usually evokes a negative connotation. • But CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM can be very beneficial. • We are all subject to evaluation in everything we do…. critics are everywhere! ▫ ON THE JOB ▫ PERSONAL LIFE
  42. 42. Receiving Criticism • Getting criticized is always painful. • No one likes to have their shortcomings pointed out (especially if they don’t think they have any!) • DO’S and DON’TS when you are being criticized: ▫ Accept that we can learn and improve from it. ▫ Don’t make excuses for your behaviors. ▫ Don’t be defensive or get emotional – listen. ▫ Use it as a learning opportunity. ▫ Even if you don’t agree with the criticism – remember it’s how others are perceiving you. ▫ Take action – make a plan to improve and share it with your boss – it shows your initiative and intentions to improve.
  43. 43. Giving Constructive Criticism • The purpose of the critic is to alter/change/improve the behavior of the person they are criticizing… ▫ Punishment does not work!  Chastising – being sarcastic – bad language – brunt of bad joke…. ▫ Only positive reinforcement works ▫ So handing out criticism in a negative and non- productive way can even be counter-productive. ▫ Be supportive and offer suggestions and constructive help to the person – make sure they know what type of behavior you expect to see… give specific goals.
  44. 44. Summary of Key Concepts ▫ How communication flows through organizations. ▫ The 4 steps in the communication process. ▫ The 5 steps in the message-sending process. ▫ How to get feedback. ▫ The 3 steps in the message-receiving process. ▫ 5 response styles. ▫ 4 situational supervisory styles and 4 variables to consider in selecting appropriate communication styles.

Beschreibung

SlideShare presentation for Week 5 PSY 126 with Dr. Eisenhard.

Transkript

  1. 1. Communications, Emotions, & Criticism Matthew L. Eisenhard, Psy.D. Week 5: Psychology for Business & Industry
  2. 2. Interpersonal Communication • INTERPERSONAL skills are built on the foundation of your intrapersonal skills. ▫ Behavior is what we say and do… ▫ Therefore - communication is behavior. ▫ Your communication style (your behavior) affects all aspects of your professional and personal life.  People will behave in a similar way to the way you treat them.
  3. 3. Organizational Structure • Refers to the way management designs a firm in order to meet their mission and goals. • Structure Determines: ▫ Who works together. ▫ How communication flows. ▫ What the policies, procedures, and rules will be. • Current Structural Trends: ▫ Organizations are redesigning their processes. ▫ “Streamlining” is taking place (getting rid of layers of management). ▫ Going to team-based structures. ▫ Making being a team-player more important than ever. ▫ Multinational Companies (MNC’s) have many companies within their structure – called Business Units (BU’s) – creating M-Form structures that focus on particular products, customers, or geographies.
  4. 4. Principles of Organization • In order to design a successful organization you must determine the following: ▫ What the division of labor is– how are jobs sub-divided.  And departmentalization - grouping related activities into units. ▫ What the chain of command is- who is accountable to who. ▫ What the span of management is – how many workers are under each management position. ▫ Where the decisions are finalized – who is the final authority – where does the buck stop – is it…  Centralized – top management makes the decisions, or…  Decentralized – lower-level management makes decisions. ▫ How you coordinate it to all work together in a smooth system.
  5. 5. Organizational Communication • Is the compounded interpersonal communication across the whole organization. ▫ VERTICAL COMMUNICATION (FORMAL)  Up and down the chain of command .  Downward = upper level tells lower level management what to do.  Upward = lower levels send messages to upper level – it is vital to success of business. ▫ HORIZONTAL COMMUNICATION (LATERAL)  Information flow between coworkers & peers. ▫ GRAPEVINE COMMUNICATION  Informal flow of information thru the whole org.  Gossip/rumors and inaccurate reports are a danger.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LImUb_yf_ps
  6. 6. Digital Information Technology • New communication technologies have changed the way we communicate in our professional and personal lives. • INTERNET, E-MAIL, TEXTING, WIRELESS ▫ Internet (www) is global connection of computer networks. ▫ Accessed by computers, phones, and hand-held devices. ▫ E-mail most common form of communication on the job. ▫ E-mail & texting replacing the U.S. Postal system. • E-COMMERCE, MOBILE WORKERS, M-COMMERCE ▫ Business is conducted electronically – see exhibit 5-3. ▫ New trend is M2M (machine to machine) connecting all digital devices. ▫ Today many people don’t work in an office – they are mobile and use electronic devices to communicate – even laptops are outdated. ▫ Mobile technology will be most influential in next 15 years – shopping by using m-commerce devices.
  7. 7. Digital Information Technology • SOCIAL MEDIA ▫ Many businesses are using FACEBOOK. ▫ Politicians are too. ▫ Zuckerberg’s goal is to make it the standardized form of all communication for work and pleasure.  Over 500 million users – 35% of entire Internet population using. • CLOUD COMPUTING ▫ Any service or program sent over an Internet connections. ▫ Enables companies to use raw computing power, storage, apps, and data from large data centers. ▫ Customer pays only for services used – cutting IT costs and upgrading.
  8. 8. The Communication Process • CIRCULAR – not linear. ▫ Sender encodes and transmits a message through a selected channel to a receiver who decodes it and may give feedback.
  9. 9. Sending the Message • SENDER ▫ The one who starts the communication. • ENCODING ▫ Puts the message into a form the receiver will understand. • MESSAGE ▫ The physical form of what you want to relate.  Sender’s thoughts. • SELECT THE CHANNEL ▫ E.S.P. usually not a choice. ▫ Oral – nonverbal – written.
  10. 10. Receiving the Message • Receiver ▫ The person getting the message (hopefully). • Decoding ▫ The receiver’s process of translating the message into a meaningful form. ▫ We usually combine messages with other ideas and perceptions when we are decoding. ▫ We need to take the sender’s experience into consideration. ▫ The message is always whatever the receiver perceives it to be regardless of what the sender may or may not have intended.
  11. 11. Feedback • Responding to a message is giving feedback. ▫ The roles of sender & receiver switch back and forth in a communication process. • It is up to the receiver to decide if feedback is needed. ▫ But even silence can be feedback. • Giving positive feedback increases performance ▫ Looking for something positive to say is always preferable to dealing in negatives. ▫ People respond to positive in a positive manner.  And vice versa.
  12. 12. Problems with Communication • Perception - choice of words – language ▫ Semantics = choosing the right word.  What a word means to one may not be the same to another. ▫ Jargon = special terms of a certain group.  Also beware acronyms. • Information overload ▫ Too much information.  Like a clogged drain – nothing gets through.  Tune-out time! • Using a wrong channel ▫ How you deliver the message is as important as what it is.  A wrong channel can result in a wrong message. ▫ What is most effective for the situation.  Do I call – write – email – send smoke signals - or chat in person?
  13. 13. Problems in Receiving • Noise ▫ Internal or external – distractions interfere . • Trust & credibility ▫ How well do you know the sender?  Is this person who they say they are? – can you verify that? ▫ Do you trust them?  Have they lied to you before – or do you have reason to believe they are lying now? ▫ Do you believe they know what they are talking about?  Do they present credible facts and evidence?  What are their credentials? Are they an “expert”?
  14. 14. Problems in Receiving • Not-listening ▫ Hearing is the physical process – we assume here that the receiver can “hear.”  When the receiver is deaf - how does that affect the process? ▫ Listening is much more complex.  It is a mental function – not physical. • Emotional interference ▫ Emotions are by nature not logical or rational – you can’t be objective when you are emotional.  Anger – fear – sorrow – hurt – shock – happy & beyond. ▫ They can and do interfere in how someone translates an incoming message. ▫ Senders should be calm and not provoke emotions in the receivers…. (unless that is the message).
  15. 15. Problems in Receiving • Filtering ▫ Altering or distorting information - LYING to project a more favorable image. • Gender ▫ Gender differences can lead to miscommunications. • Language ▫ Speaking different languages makes it difficult. • Culture ▫ So can coming from different cultures (even within the same country).
  16. 16. Gender Differences • Men and women talk for different reasons. • Men ▫ Talk to emphasis status – male competitiveness. ▫ Talk about “things” and “events.”  The truck – the game – non-emotional subjects. ▫ Tend to want to solve problems.  Feel in control – assert independence – fix it.  When talking to women it’s much better to just listen and give reflective responses. • Women ▫ Talk to create connections & develop relationships.  People – feelings – emotions. • Male – female brains are hard-wired differently. ▫ One not better than the other – just different. ▫ Men use about 7,000 – 10,000 words a day. ▫ Women use about 20,000 – 25,000 words a day.
  17. 17. Cross-Cultural Differences • CULTURAL CONTEXT ▫ We all send and receive messages and evaluate behavior based on our cultural experience. ▫ HIGH CONTEXT CULTURES  Rely heavily on nonverbal & subtle situational cues more than the actual spoken word.  Who you are – your place in society – reputation – are as important (if not more so) than what is said.  Spend more time building rapport & developing relationships.  A “man’s word” more than a legal contract. ▫ LOW CONTEXT CULTURES  Rely more on actual words.  Value more direct, get down to business style.  More likely to give direct orders to subordinates.  The contract is more precise & valued.
  18. 18. Cross-Cultural Differences • Social Conventions ▫ How soon actual business is begun over social activities.  North Americans want to get right to business.  Arabs or Japanese prefer a more indirect route. ▫ How loud people talk – how close they stand. ▫ How punctual people are.  Middle Easterners – talk loudly – stand closer.  Americans and Japanese want punctuality.  Arabs or Latin Americans think it’s okay to be late – maybe even a show of respect.
  19. 19. Cross-Cultural Differences • Language, etiquette, politeness ▫ Even if you are speaking the same language there are still different usages depending on where you are. ▫ What is considered rude in one place is not in another. ▫ When in Rome – do as the Romans do. • Nonverbal communication ▫ Messages that are sent without words. ▫ Gestures do not cross cultures very well because we do not all share the same symbolism. ▫ But facial gestures are more universal.  Eye contact is expected in some cultures – but rude in others. ▫ Touching can be a big issue.  North Americans & N. Europeans don’t like it so much.
  20. 20. Overcoming Cultural Obstacles • Remember we are not all the same – find out the differences and the similarities. ▫ Don’t judge someone’s actions until you understand their culture – and what they mean by what they are doing. ▫ Put yourself in the other persons shoes – be pro-active in finding out what is expected in the culture you are interacting with. • When in doubt – ask. • Follow the other person’s lead – if they bow, then bow back, etc.
  21. 21. Planning the Message • 5 skills to help you send messages face-to-face: ▫ Develop rapport  Small talk – set the receiver at ease – build relationship. ▫ State the objective  It is sometimes helpful for the receiver to know what your ultimate goal is. ▫ Send the message  Give the information– be explicit – set deadlines - give plenty of time and don’t overload. ▫ Check for understanding  Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said.  Merely asking if they understand or have questions is not enough. ▫ Get a commitment and follow up  Don’t just assume people are acting on your message – check in and check up.
  22. 22. Checking for Understanding • FEEDBACK ▫ Is a process to verify messages. • BIGGEST MISTAKE ▫ Is asking if there “are any questions?” ▫ People have a tendency NOT to ask questions. ▫ Senders then assume the message was understood. ▫ It often is not. • WHAT WORKS ▫ Be open and responsive and patient. ▫ Be aware of nonverbal communication. ▫ Ask direct questions about what you just said. ▫ Ask the receiver to paraphrase what you just said.
  23. 23. Most Used & Least Effective Communication Skill • LISTENING IS THE COMMUNICATION SKILL WE USE THE MOST ▫ 70 – 80 % of our waking hours are spent in some sort of communication.  9% writing – 16% reading – 30% talking.  45% listening.  But it is the skill we perform the poorest. • WHY IS THAT??? ▫ Lack of training.  Not typically taught in school - & not many workshops available.
  24. 24. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ Thinking is faster than speaking.  Rate of speech = average = 125 wpm.  Mental capacity to understand 400 /600 wpm.  When listening to average speaker – use about 25% mental capacity – leaves 75% of the mind to wander… and it does.  Americans perceive fast talkers (200+wpm) as more credible – smarter – and are more persuaded by them.  Alternatively other research says – slow down – people will understand you better.  So…leaves you with the choice of being more credible and convincing or being more correctly understood – depends on your agenda.
  25. 25. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ We are inefficient at listening – not focusing – not paying attention – memory functions.  After listening to a 10 min. oral presentation…  Average listener understands and retains 50%.  After 48 hours – it drops to 25%.  After a week we retain only about 10%.  We can keep only about 5-7 bits of information in our short term memory.  After that we must commit it to long term memory.  Many things affect what we decide to save as permanent.
  26. 26. Listening: Least Effective Communication Skill • WHY IS THAT?? ▫ AGE RELATED  Listening skills diminish with advancing age.  First & second graders listen about 90% of the time.  By junior high = only 44% are listening.  In high school the average drops to 28%.  Senior citizens have hearing problems that interfere. ▫ IT’S HARD WORK TO LISTEN  Intense concentration over an extended period of time produces both physical and mental exhaustion.
  27. 27. Active Listening • Hearing what people are really saying. • Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. • How well you listen has a major impact on your job success and on the quality of your personal relationships, not to mention your grades. • By becoming a better listener you can: ▫ Improve your productivity, ability to influence, persuade, and negotiate. ▫ Improve management of conflict and avoid misunderstandings. ▫ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP55nA8fQ9I
  28. 28. Tips for Active Listening • Pay attention ▫ Their lips are moving…. • Avoid distractions ▫ Turn off the cell phone – look at the speaker. • Stay tuned in ▫ Don’t let your mind wander – don’t plan what you are going to say… just listen first. • Do not assume and interrupt ▫ Wait until you hear the whole message. • Watch for nonverbal cues ▫ Do the words match the nonverbal cues.
  29. 29. Tips for Active Listening • Ask questions ▫ If you don’t understand ask for clarification. • Take notes ▫ Especially needed when getting instructions. • Convey meaning ▫ Let the speaker know when you do understand. • Analyze – think ▫ Organize and repeat in your mind what you heard.
  30. 30. Tips for Active Listening • Evaluate after listening ▫ Wait until the speaker is finished before you make a judgment. • Evaluate facts ▫ Base your conclusions on facts not opinions or generalities. • Check for understanding – paraphrase ▫ Consistently paraphrase – it is a fail-safe checking device. • Watch for nonverbal cues ▫ Again – read nonverbal for clues to understanding.
  31. 31. Response Styles • ADVISING ▫ Provides: evaluation, personal opinion, direction/instruction. ▫ Don’t give advice unless you are directly asked for it. ▫ Giving it too readily tends to build undue dependence. • DIVERTING ▫ Switches the focus - a.k.a.- changing the subject. ▫ Makes the sender think his/her message was not important. ▫ Sometimes a good way to avoid arguments.
  32. 32. Response Styles • PROBING ▫ Asking for elaboration – more information. ▫ Useful to help in understanding. • REASSURING ▫ Given to be supportive of emotional messages. ▫ Means “don’t worry” – you are pacifying. ▫ Appropriate when the other person lacks confidence. • REFLECTING ▫ Paraphrases the message back to sender. ▫ Conveys understanding and acceptance. ▫ Used to be empathic – help develop strong H/R skills.
  33. 33. Response Styles
  34. 34. Situational Communication Styles • AUTOCRATIC – HIGH TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP ▫ Take charge without input from others. ▫ Demand compliance - don’t consider other options. • CONSULTATIVE – HIGH TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP ▫ Let others know you want something - ask for input. ▫ Ask questions & show concern for others opinions – be empathic. • PARTICIPATIVE – LOW TASK – HIGH RELATIONSHIP ▫ Helpful and supportive. ▫ Encourage others to give input. • LAISSEZ-FAIRE – LOW TASK – LOW RELATIONSHIP ▫ Low initiative and response. ▫ Give only needed information. ▫ Allow others to be in charge.
  35. 35. Situational Variables • When deciding the best communication style to use you must consider: ▫ TIME  Is it an emergency? Do I have time to consider others or do I need to make quick decisive action? ▫ INFORMATION  Do I know everything I need to know to make decision or take an action?  Yes – autocratic may be best.  Only some info – consultative may be best.  None or little info – participative or laissez-faire. ▫ ACCEPTANCE  You must always gauge the extent of acceptance by others.  What good is to take an autocratic stance if no one complies - how can you lead if no one follows… ▫ CAPABILITY  ABILITY – What is the level of knowledge/experience – what can they do?  MOTIVATION – Do they want to participate?
  36. 36. Understanding Emotions • We all have FEELINGS-EMOTIONS – we can’t control what we feel… ▫ They are subjective. ▫ And judgment should not be placed on them… • But we can control our BEHAVIOR. • Our emotions and feelings are revealed through our NONVERBAL communications. ▫ We may say one thing (behavior) and yet reveal a different message through our nonverbal messages….
  37. 37. Nonverbals Convey Feelings • 6 BASIC - UNIVERSAL EMOTIONS… HAPPINESS SURPRISE FEAR SADNESS ANGER DISGUST
  38. 38. Emotional Labor • Requires the expression of feeling through desired behavior. • Emotional regulation ▫ Important for good H/R skills and job performance. ▫ Management should encourage POSITIVE emotional expression. ▫ Lack of ability to control NEGATIVE emotional behavior is contributing to an increase in workplace violence. ▫ It is important to not get caught up in other peoples emotional outbursts.  If someone yells at you…don’t yell back.  Meeting negativity with negativity only increases it.
  39. 39. Cultural Differences • Remember – what is acceptable in one culture may not be in others. • Emotional labor expectations vary across cultures. ▫ Some cultures lack words to express certain emotions. ▫ And then interpret emotional displays differently. • In the U.S. – we are expected to SMILE and be friendly. ▫ In Muslim cultures smiling is taken as a sexual attraction – so women are discouraged from smiling at men.
  40. 40. Dealing with Emotional People • Remember…emotions can be a barrier to effective communication. • CALMING THE EMOTIONAL PERSON ▫ Don’t Argue, Mirror Negativity, or Belittle.  Never use “put-downs.”  Don’t try to make them feel guilty.  These only cause more negative feelings and nothing gets resolved. ▫ Do be Empathetic and use Reflecting Statements.  Use EMPATHIC LISTENING = the ability to understand and relate to another’s situation and feelings.  You don’t have to agree with them – but just try to put yourself in their shoes.  Use REFLECTIVE STATEMENTS = paraphrase feeling back to the person – it validates their right to have their feelings.  This allows the person to calm down, and then you can work on resolving the problems.
  41. 41. Criticism • The act of making a judgment, or an evaluation using specific rules of engagement. ▫ Usually evokes a negative connotation. • But CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM can be very beneficial. • We are all subject to evaluation in everything we do…. critics are everywhere! ▫ ON THE JOB ▫ PERSONAL LIFE
  42. 42. Receiving Criticism • Getting criticized is always painful. • No one likes to have their shortcomings pointed out (especially if they don’t think they have any!) • DO’S and DON’TS when you are being criticized: ▫ Accept that we can learn and improve from it. ▫ Don’t make excuses for your behaviors. ▫ Don’t be defensive or get emotional – listen. ▫ Use it as a learning opportunity. ▫ Even if you don’t agree with the criticism – remember it’s how others are perceiving you. ▫ Take action – make a plan to improve and share it with your boss – it shows your initiative and intentions to improve.
  43. 43. Giving Constructive Criticism • The purpose of the critic is to alter/change/improve the behavior of the person they are criticizing… ▫ Punishment does not work!  Chastising – being sarcastic – bad language – brunt of bad joke…. ▫ Only positive reinforcement works ▫ So handing out criticism in a negative and non- productive way can even be counter-productive. ▫ Be supportive and offer suggestions and constructive help to the person – make sure they know what type of behavior you expect to see… give specific goals.
  44. 44. Summary of Key Concepts ▫ How communication flows through organizations. ▫ The 4 steps in the communication process. ▫ The 5 steps in the message-sending process. ▫ How to get feedback. ▫ The 3 steps in the message-receiving process. ▫ 5 response styles. ▫ 4 situational supervisory styles and 4 variables to consider in selecting appropriate communication styles.

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