Slides from Matt Kendall's talk on how to remove negative memories

1. Matt Kendall
www.facebook.com/TheMattKendall
matt@interestingtalks.co.uk

2. About Tonight
 This talk is to help you to understand more about how
memory works and how it can be changed
 This is not a lecture on neuroscience
 We will be doing several exercises where you will get to
try out the techniques yourself
 Please keep things content free

3. My Background
 First came across NLP and Hypnosis in 2002
 Met a hypnotist and went for several sessions
 Trained with many different people and
institutions
 In 2007 I came across IEMT

4. Client Work
 Specialise in social anxiety (mainly dating world)
 Help people to recover from trauma
 Removing and reprocessing past experiences, to give
people great control over the present
 My main focus is now training therapists, coaches and
people who just want to work on themselves, in IEMT
(Integral Eye Movement Therapy)

5. Common Myths About Memory
 We record everything like a blackbox recorder (we
don’t)
 That memory is factually correct (it isn’t. it is
simply a subjective experience) Eyes only do 10% of
seeing, the rest is made up by the brain.
 That traumatising memories can not be changed
(they can)

6. Common Myths About Memory
That our brains work like a computer and filing
system (they don’t. In fact memories change
slightly every time you access them. Also the
emotional state you are in once accessing
memories will have a large impact upon them)
 Memories fade over time (this is not always the
case, especially for traumatic or sensitising events)

7. So Why Do We Have Memory?
 To keep us alive
 We remember what we have learned, especially if
it is a threat to our safety
 The brain is a streamlined processor, without
remembering how to feel and act, it would just be
to much information to process

8. Early Development
 Our formative years are approximately 4-12 years
old
 We experience situations both directly and
indirectly
 This lays the basis of our beliefs and character

9. Belief Systems
ISE
Thoughts
Gut Reaction
Feelings
Avoidance
Anxiety

11. Problems in the Present
 What you learned as a child was relevant when you
were young, however not so much now. Unless
updated, memories stay the same as the time of
encoding.
 You want to do something but you get a gut reaction or
negative feelings, although you know it is nonsense
 These irrational fears are cognitive dissonance
 What’s wrong with me? It causes massive frustration

12. Public Speaking

13. Stimulus - You are Giving a Presentation

14. Transderivational Search

15. Solutions
 Counselling to try and understand the issue
 CBT to reinterpret what is being processed
 Exposure therapy to the stimuli
 Alcohol and drugs for courage
 Intervention work including NLP, Hypnosis and IEMT
 Training in the skill set

16. Is Time Moving More Quickly?
 These songs are 20 years old;
 "Spice Up Your Life" - Spice Girls
 "MMMbop" - Hanson
 "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" - Backstreet Boys
 "I'll Be Missing You" - Puff Daddy and Faith Evans ft. 112
 "Around the World" - Daft Punk

17. Feel Old Yet?

18. Make Time Seem Longer
 When you are 10, 1 year is 10% of your life
 When you are 50, 1 year is 2% of your life
 This has been the theory for a long time, however
more recent research indicates that time is just a
perception and it is measured in long term memories
that have been created.

19. Long Term Memory
 Creating a long term memory is a chemical process
 They are more likely to occur when there is high levels
of emotion and has novelty value (something different
than normal) both positive and negative
 Wedding day, being mugged, getting a job, being fired,
losing your virginity, first time you were in love etc

20. Going On Holiday

21. Make Time Seem Longer

22. Make Time Seem Longer

23. Good Mental Health
 I personally believe the best way to good mental health is...
 To actively work on past negative memories and emotions
 Whilst constantly adding new long term memories.
 Also, when working on negative memories, you need to be
clear on the experience so you can measure the changes

24. What is a Memory?
Kinesthetic
Information

25. Submodalities
 Is the picture black and white or colour?
 Is the picture near or far?
 Is the picture 2D or 3D?
 Is it a still picture or a movie?
 Is it associated (you see it through your own eyes)
or dissociated (you see yourself in the picture?
 Is it focussed or defocussed?
 Is it bright or dim?
 Is it in the centre of your field of vision or off to one side?
 Is it clear or grainy?
 Is it solid or transparent?
 Is it framed or panoramic?

26. Exercise Part 1
 Work with someone and ask them to think of a
negative memory.
 Ask them;
 Is it a picture or a movie?
 Does it have sound?
 It is subjective or objective?
 Is it in focus?
 Out of 10, how strong is the emotion?

27. Exercise Part 2
 Now begin to change the submodalities.
 Picture or a movie? Change it
 Does it have sound? Make it quieter or louder
 It is subjective or objective? Change it
 Is it in focus? Change it
 Out of 10, how strong is the emotion? Observe

28. Submodality Work
 If your memory is a movie, associated, bright, close
and with sound
 It will have a much higher emotional impact (0/10)
 At home you can experiment with your own
submodalities to lessen the emotional impact
 Make sure to record things and what progress you
make

29. Ruminating Memory
 Memories that we ruminate tend to start in the same
place, build up to a climax and then stop.
 Then then loop and start at the same point again.
 Thinking about something does not help! People often
go “internal” and problems worsen.
 Instead, we need to create an exit

30. From This

31. To This

32. We Achieve This by Adding Time
 With a partner, ask them if they ruminate on a
memory
 Asked them what happened afterwards in time blocks
 Keep adding time and content until you reach the
present day
 Then ask when they think of the memory now, what is
it like?

33. Time Jumps
Present
Day
Memory
Day Week Month Year Year Year

34. Changing Memory
 Every time you access a memory, it changes it slightly
 The mood or state that you are in when you access it,
will have a large impact
 By adding in time and/or content, it changes how it is
accessed (like scratching a CD)
 One simple trick is to hold a negative memory and
start moving, dancing or listening to music

35. Escape a Negative Memory Quickly
 Often we will experience a negative memory or
experience when we are out
 These can spiral into panic attacks
 One thing you can do, is to practice mindfulness.
 Simply start saying what is around you. Bring your
attention outwards, instead of inwards

36. The Brain Left Right
Speech
Spatial Awareness
Simple Maths
Here and Now
Will Power
Short Term Memory
Logic
Conscious Mind
Singing
Abstract Thinking
Connection
Emotions
Character
Routine Behaviour
Long Term Memory
Subconscious Mind
Corpus Callosum

37. Therapy vs Changework
 You can not therapy your way out of a problem, it also takes
action
 Often counselling/talking therapy fails to produce results
as where the problem is located, it is in a different place to
where your speech centres are.
 People can find it easier to express pain through art, music
and singing rather than talking about it
 Talking about issues can also cause re-traumatisation

38. How IEMT Works
 IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) works by
getting the hemispheres to communicate with one
another
 By getting someone to locate a negative memory in the
right hemisphere, and then engaging the left
hemisphere, the brain processes the memory in terms
of significance to the present

39. Updating Memory
 Memory is encoded at time of exposure and doesn’t age
 My favourite film growing up was Terminator 2. When I
think of it, I am remembering what it was like watching it
when I was 13
 I watched it again recently, and it seemed rubbish.
 The film had not changed, I had. When you change the way
you observe something, the thing you observe changes.

40. Young Me

41. Using the Eyes to Access the Brain
 Our eyes are connected directly to the brain
 We can use the eyes to tell what is happening
internally
 When you think of a memory, your eyes literally locate
it
 By holding the memory and moving the eyes, you
cause bilateral stimulation

42. Exercise
 With a partner, ask them if they have a negative
memory
 Ask them for a label e.g. The school yard
 Ask if it is a picture or a movie
 Ask if it is a subjective or objective
 How clear and in focus is it
 Out of 10, how strong is the emotion

43. Hold the Memory, Move the Eyes
6
6
6

44. Predictable Outcomes
 The memory is harder to retrieve
 Movies turn into a picture, or at least broken up
 Pictures are harder to get, seem faded out
 The memory seems further away
 The emotion level drops
 The memory loses significance

45. Finding the ISE
 IEMT does NOT work on emotion
 It does however use emotion to locate the ISE, which
you then use the IEMT process on
 This can be used for anticipatory events, such as job
interviews, presentations, going on a date etc

46. Exercise
 With a partner, ask;
 Do you have an upcoming event that you are anxious
or concerned about?
 How strong is the emotion when you think of it?
 How familiar is this feeling?
 When was the first time you can remember feeling this
way?
 Allow them to locate the memory, then move the eyes

47. Result
 When you now think of the upcoming event
 It should seem less scary
 More manageable
 You should be able to think about what you can do
 And it should be less overwhelming

48. Can I Do This on Myself?
 Yes, sort of
 First of work through the questions, either for a single
negative memory or to locate the ISE
 Hold your jaw, move your eyes
 Recalibrate
 Do NOT do it into a mirror. You will trip yourself out!

49. Why I Love IEMT
 Having used different therapy models, I just love the
way IEMT works
 My clients say it is like doing hundreds of hours of
therapy in literally seconds
 It is content free, which means you DO NOT talk
about the content, just the structure
 It works with most of the people, most of the time

50. IEMT Training
 I run 2-3 trainings per year in London
 I get 3 types of people attending;
 Those who want to get into therapy
 Those who are therapists and want to add to their
skills
 Those who just want to work on themselves
 It is a 2 day training, the next one will probably be in
July/August

51. Any Questions?

52. Thank you
 Thank you for your time
 I hope you enjoyed the talk and got some useful
information
 I hope to see you again for future talks and
presentations
 Please remember to review this on Funzing