2. What people want and expect from their leaders is
evolving with the changing world.
3. What are the key
leadership skills now?
Source: Human Capital Institute
Adaptability
Problem-Solving
Skills
Communication
Skills
Empathy
Coaching Skills
What
employees
want
What
managers
think
4. WHY COACHING WORKS
Most peopleMost peopleMost peopleMost people –––– especiallyespeciallyespeciallyespecially thethethethe
millennialsmillennialsmillennialsmillennials ---- want to think forwant to think forwant to think forwant to think for
themselves, they want to bethemselves, they want to bethemselves, they want to bethemselves, they want to be
developed (mentally as welldeveloped (mentally as welldeveloped (mentally as welldeveloped (mentally as well
as skills), and they want toas skills), and they want toas skills), and they want toas skills), and they want to
feel they are significant.feel they are significant.feel they are significant.feel they are significant.
5. What are the most
important leadership
skills?
I’m not looking to be led…
I’m looking for a leader who will
listen to me, honor me, and
partner with me to meet my goals
and grow.
22. How Humans
Learn
Without considerable repetition, words must prompt
strong emotions to be remembered. The emotions
say to your brain,
“Look at me! Remember this!!”
But information
often doesn’t
change behavior.
27. Behavioral learning
happens when what we
are told either supports
what we believe
OR
Learning happens when
the protective barrier
breaks down and we see
ourselves and the world
around us differently..
What Triggers
Behavioral Learning?
28. A surprising fact,
a disruptive reflection, or
a powerful question.
What Triggers
Behavioral Learning?
34. When how someone defines
themselves and the world
changes, so does their behavior.
35. Reflective Inquiry =
• Behavior changes
• People learn to think
more broadly for
themselves
• There is greater
possibility for
creative thinking
Transformational Leadership Coaching and Training
Why Coaching
Works
40. Level 3 Listening
One
• What I am thinking
Two
• What they are saying
Three
• What they haven’t said
Assumptions/Beliefs, Values, Desires,
Needs, Doubts,
Fears, Attachments
I and Thou
41. Level 3 Listening
Listen for assumptions/beliefs, desires, needs,
conflicting values, fears, attachments.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE WRONG
43. If you can
discover what is
triggering the
emotion, you will
open the door to
new possibilities.
Being Self-Aware
44. Emotional Triggers
Acceptance Respect Credibility
Achievement Feel Valued Be Understood
Appreciation Attention Feel Needed
Be Right Accuracy Control
Comfort Feel Safe Peace and Quiet
Freedom New Challenges Independence
Order Predictability Balance
Cleanliness Fairness Be Liked
45. Acceptance Respect Credibility
Achievement Feel Valued Be Understood
Appreciation Attention Feel Needed
Be Right Accuracy Control
Comfort Feel Safe Peace and Quiet
Freedom New Challenges Independence
Order Predictability Balance
Cleanliness Fairness Be Liked
Emotional Triggers
47. Being Self-Aware
Step One: Be Alert To Your Reactions
Step Two: Discover Why
Step Three: See the Options
a. Ask for what you need
b. Acknowledge what is out of your
control.
c. Discover what you can do to get your
need met.
48. Exercise:
What is the Trigger
Please work together in groups of 4-5.
1. One person describes their challenging situation
2. Each person at the table suggests what is triggering the
person’s reaction.
3. The person picks one trigger and chooses a new response
for future situations
4. Rotate so everyone has a chance to share their situation.
Do not try to fix the situation. DO NOT give any solutions or suggestions.
49. This ends of the first day of our journey.
Tonight, notice how you listen.
Notice what triggers you to stop
listening.
See if you can shift to listening more
deeply.
50. Conversation Intention
Emotional Intention
Highest Regard
Your Plan
What stoodWhat stoodWhat stoodWhat stood out for you today?out for you today?out for you today?out for you today?
WhatWhatWhatWhat can you do to integrate these skillscan you do to integrate these skillscan you do to integrate these skillscan you do to integrate these skills
intointointointo youryouryouryour conversationsconversationsconversationsconversations inininin the future?the future?the future?the future?
Coaching Group
54. The Discomfort Zone
Their discomfort ranges from slight to
profound; you just need to hold the space for
discovery to take place.
55. Conversation Intention
Emotional Intention
Highest Regard
Shifting Your Emotions
RelaxRelaxRelaxRelax Your Body
DetachDetachDetachDetach From Your Thoughts
CenterCenterCenterCenter Yourself
FocusFocusFocusFocus on How You Want to Feel or Who You
Want to Be
63. Conversation Intention
Emotional Intention
Highest Regard
Shifting Your Emotions
RelaxRelaxRelaxRelax Your Body
DetachDetachDetachDetach From Your Thoughts
CenterCenterCenterCenter Yourself
FocusFocusFocusFocus on How You Want to Feel or Who You
Want to Be
68. Care
(heart)
Desires, Values…
Listening to Your
Three Centers in
Conversation
Doubt based on
disappointments,
betrayal
What do they
want or need that
they don’t expect
to get now?
69. Courage
(gut)
Fears,
Attachments
(can’t let go)
What are they
afraid they won’t
get, angry they
didn’t get, or what
they can’t let go of
because it was
important to their
ego?
Listening to Your
Three Centers in
Conversation
77. Practice
Receive, not just listen
Coach the person, not the
external problem or other
people
Have them articulate the new
awareness and what
appears to be true.
78. When you start the
conversation…
AID feedback model
A Action (their behavior)
I Impact (on work or others)
D Desired outcome (what you
want for them that they want
too)
80. EmotionalTriggers
Most often in conversations at work, people react
when they feel they are losing:
Credibility, reputation or respect
A sense of control or predictability (success)
Fairness
Being right (or being made wrong and looking stupid)
Independence (autonomy) and Freedom
Being liked
81. Get them to stop and
think about their
thinking.
To change people’s
minds…
Reflect and ask questions so they
question themselves.
Help them articulate what else could be
true and possible.
87. Conversation Intention
Emotional Intention
Highest Regard
Your Plan
What do you want to focus on as aWhat do you want to focus on as aWhat do you want to focus on as aWhat do you want to focus on as a
part of your leadershippart of your leadershippart of your leadershippart of your leadership
development?development?development?development?
88. Conversation Intention
Emotional Intention
Highest Regard
Your Plan
What can you do to integrate theseWhat can you do to integrate theseWhat can you do to integrate theseWhat can you do to integrate these
skills into the leadershipskills into the leadershipskills into the leadershipskills into the leadership
conversations in your organization?conversations in your organization?conversations in your organization?conversations in your organization?
Coaching Group
89. Your Plan
They want you to be
present
more than they need
you to be perfect!