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Recovery For Family & Friends
Louise Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, CDWF, CIP
Where are Your
Marbles?
Are They in or Are They
Out?
Where are you Today?
How did you wake up?
What Have You done to
take Care of Yourself?
Have you Brought Your
Listening skills ?
Eyes- Look at Person in front of you
Ears- Turn off tune out other sounds
Mouth-Quiet
Hands- Folded
Body-Lean in
Feet-Quiet on the floor
Brain-Thinking about Whats said
Heart-Open and Compassionate
How Ready are you For
Change?
Finding Joy
What is Recovery ?
Letting Go of what we cannot control
Learning how to care for ourselves and
not being attached to the problem
Learning about SA, MH, CP and other
Disorders and how they effect us all
While in Treatment Your
Loved one
May balk a bit- Focus on whats wrong with others not
with themselves-We roll with resistance
May ask for things they do not need
May at first feel things are getting worse not better
A tendency to feel shame or guilt wanting to forget
A desire to shield you from talking with staff
A desire to minimize issues
Phases of Treatment
Living Room
Porch
Sidewalk
Trail
Friends and Family may
feel
Anxious- Resentful-Marbles out
To minimize family problems
To avoid talking with staff
A desire to fix things
To bail loved ones out
To shield client from bad news
To look good to the Public
To Avoid Trying Self Help groups at Home
To feel guilt or shame
What is that??
All of these feelings are
natural and normal and
are a by product of living in
a situation that has been
colored by stress, addiction,
chronic pain, mental health
and other disorders
Always reach out to us ..
We are here to help
The Invitation
Courageous Recovery
Finding Joy
What is Recovery?
Lifetime Growth
Development of New
Problem Solving Skills and
Strategies
Responding not Reacting
Being Mindful and
Compassionate to Self and
Others
What does Recovery
Look like for Loved Ones
Your loved one demonstrates
A change in attitude and action
Is emotionally stable
Is practicing new skills and strategies, replaced self centerness with
Has a realistic appreciation of the disease
Demonstrates humility, willingness and is addressing past wreckage
Has participated in all clinical offerings
Is addressing any legal or financial issues
Is planning for after care
Is following New Found Life Rules
Is able to handle confrontations
Family and Friends
Learn
Addiction is a brain disease
Chronic Pain, Mental Health
Disorders are diseases
To differentiate between
the disorder and the person
To learn stress reduction
To build recovery network
of their own -Alanon etc
Detachment
The 7 ‘C’s
I didn’t cause
I cant control
I can't cure
I can take care of myself
I can communicate my feelings
I can make healthy choices
I can celebrate myself
5 Magic Words
Yes
No
Oh
Really
Whatever
Seven Principles OF
Recovery
Abstinence
Peer Support
Medication
Exercise
Ritual
Good Nutrition
Professional Services
Help with HALT
Encourage Healthy Eating
Encourage Statement of
frustration -I feel
Encourage New Friendships-
support Exercise-Meetings etc
Encourage Mindfulness, Stess
Busters etc
Be Willing to Practice What
you Suggest
Blueprint for Success
Homework Assignment
For Friends and Families
Closing Ceremony
Resources
The Daily Good http://www.dailygood.org
Falling Up-A Memoir of Renewal- Louise Stanger
The Book of Joy- Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu
The Daring Way & Rising Strong Brene Brown
Alanon Family Groups http://al-anon.alateen.org
NAMI -www.nami.org
The American Chronic Pain Association http://theacpa.org/
The Journey of the Heroic Parent- Brad Reedy
Parallel Processes -Krissy Pozatek MSW
Stop Walking on Eggshells -The Workbook -Randi Kruger
Headspace https://www.headspace.com

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Finding Joy

  • 1. Recovery For Family & Friends Louise Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, CDWF, CIP
  • 2. Where are Your Marbles? Are They in or Are They Out? Where are you Today? How did you wake up? What Have You done to take Care of Yourself?
  • 3. Have you Brought Your Listening skills ? Eyes- Look at Person in front of you Ears- Turn off tune out other sounds Mouth-Quiet Hands- Folded Body-Lean in Feet-Quiet on the floor Brain-Thinking about Whats said Heart-Open and Compassionate
  • 4. How Ready are you For Change?
  • 6. What is Recovery ? Letting Go of what we cannot control Learning how to care for ourselves and not being attached to the problem Learning about SA, MH, CP and other Disorders and how they effect us all
  • 7. While in Treatment Your Loved one May balk a bit- Focus on whats wrong with others not with themselves-We roll with resistance May ask for things they do not need May at first feel things are getting worse not better A tendency to feel shame or guilt wanting to forget A desire to shield you from talking with staff A desire to minimize issues
  • 8. Phases of Treatment Living Room Porch Sidewalk Trail
  • 9. Friends and Family may feel Anxious- Resentful-Marbles out To minimize family problems To avoid talking with staff A desire to fix things To bail loved ones out To shield client from bad news To look good to the Public To Avoid Trying Self Help groups at Home To feel guilt or shame
  • 10. What is that?? All of these feelings are natural and normal and are a by product of living in a situation that has been colored by stress, addiction, chronic pain, mental health and other disorders Always reach out to us .. We are here to help
  • 13. What is Recovery? Lifetime Growth Development of New Problem Solving Skills and Strategies Responding not Reacting Being Mindful and Compassionate to Self and Others
  • 14. What does Recovery Look like for Loved Ones Your loved one demonstrates A change in attitude and action Is emotionally stable Is practicing new skills and strategies, replaced self centerness with Has a realistic appreciation of the disease Demonstrates humility, willingness and is addressing past wreckage Has participated in all clinical offerings Is addressing any legal or financial issues Is planning for after care Is following New Found Life Rules Is able to handle confrontations
  • 15. Family and Friends Learn Addiction is a brain disease Chronic Pain, Mental Health Disorders are diseases To differentiate between the disorder and the person To learn stress reduction To build recovery network of their own -Alanon etc
  • 16. Detachment The 7 ‘C’s I didn’t cause I cant control I can't cure I can take care of myself I can communicate my feelings I can make healthy choices I can celebrate myself
  • 18. Seven Principles OF Recovery Abstinence Peer Support Medication Exercise Ritual Good Nutrition Professional Services
  • 19. Help with HALT Encourage Healthy Eating Encourage Statement of frustration -I feel Encourage New Friendships- support Exercise-Meetings etc Encourage Mindfulness, Stess Busters etc Be Willing to Practice What you Suggest
  • 23. Resources The Daily Good http://www.dailygood.org Falling Up-A Memoir of Renewal- Louise Stanger The Book of Joy- Dali Lama and Desmond Tutu The Daring Way & Rising Strong Brene Brown Alanon Family Groups http://al-anon.alateen.org NAMI -www.nami.org The American Chronic Pain Association http://theacpa.org/ The Journey of the Heroic Parent- Brad Reedy Parallel Processes -Krissy Pozatek MSW Stop Walking on Eggshells -The Workbook -Randi Kruger Headspace https://www.headspace.com