Welcome to Fresh Off the Synapse! My weekly wrap up of my favorite jokes and commentary! Sometimes the jokes write themselves and when they don't I do. @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

1. March 3-7, 2014

2. Do increasing tensions
between the US and Russia
mean comedians should
start dusting off their Cold
War era jokes?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

3. If this Ukraine situation keeps up
I'm gonna have to find it on the map.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

4. Cate Blanchett confessed
that she slept with her Oscar.
So did Mrs. Madison
until she threw him out,
requesting that he never return.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

5. The Web turns 25 next week.
Now it can start worrying about
something cheaper, younger, and
faster that’s ready to take its place.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

6. The College Board has announced
the first changes to the SAT
college entrance exam since 2005.
Post-test therapy would be nice.
I'm still bitter.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

7. If Russia is not afraid of
American military intervention
in the Ukraine have we considered
threatening them
with jobs and healthcare?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

8. Universal Pre-K?
Should sending kids to school
on other planets really be
where we're focusing our
efforts right now?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

9. Ghengis Khan killed about 11%
of the entire world’s population.
And that was without
a college degree.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

10. U.S. House approves
loan guarantees for Ukraine.
Still no word on
my application from 2008.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

11. Venezuela has severed ties
with Panama.
Is that Venezuela's way of saying,
"I think we should
see other countries."?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

12. Taking my Parents to the
movies. What's the
etiquette?
Do I let them sit by
themselves in case they
want to make out?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com