We all need to love and be loved, to be understood, accepted, included, and genuinely connect: to be seen, embraced, and belong. However, I think that the most important thing in any relationship is the tender empathy and mutual reciprocity of a warm and open heart. If our relationships aren’t nurturing the growth and development of goodness of heart, openness, generosity, authenticity and intimate connection, they are not serving us or furthering a better, more just and kind world.

1. A VALENTINE FROM MY BUDDHIST
HEART - LAMA SURYA DAS
We all need to love and be loved, to be understood, accepted, included, and genuinely
connect: to be seen, embraced, and belong. However, I think that the most important thing in
any relationship is the tender empathy and mutual reciprocity of a warm and open heart. If
our relationships aren’t nurturing the growth and development of goodness of heart,
openness, generosity, authenticity and intimate connection, they are not serving us or
furthering a better, more just and kind world.
I have learned that to truly love people I need to let them be as they are, and to love, accept
and appreciate them each in their own way– free of my projections, expectations and
illusions– and not as how I would like them to be. This is equally true for loving, accepting,
embracing, and coming home to oneself.
There is no Them, no other, no stranger! Our commonality is apparent and the differences
recede into the background. When I peer deeply enough into another’s heart and see the
baby Buddha or innocent inner child their grandparents and parents cradled oh-so-lovingly in
their arms like the most precious, long awaited and cherished thing in the world– and how
they were just like me, in that way, and are, underneath it all—who would I harm, fear, resent,
put down or exploit?

2. I notice that children let go of anger and would rather be happy than right, unlike so
many of us adults. This Valentine’s Day let’s try staying present in this very moment,
through mindful awareness and paying attention to what is– rather than dwelling
on the past or the future, or on who we think we are and who we imagine others
are. This practice frees us from excess baggage, anxiety and neurosis, opening us to
true love, unconditional love, Buddha’s love, Christ’s love. Love comes through
loving, not from outside.
As the song goes, Love is all there is. Do you too hear this gentle music?
With love and blessings,
Lama Surya Das
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