Tips for better communication IV
4 sides
of a
message!
Tips for better communication:
a 4-part series
Series 1: Building empathy
Series 2: How to listen
Series 3: How to ask
Exe...
Communication always consists
of at least one sender and one receiver.
According to the ‘4-sides-of-a-message-model’
or ‘4...
4 sides of a message
As shown in the model above, the receiver has up to 4 different
possible ways to understand the messa...
The 4-sides model is also called the 4-ears-model
Since every message can be received with a different ear.
Executive Coac...
The 4-ears-model
What I inform you about.
I impart all the necessary facts and
data.
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd...
The 4-ears-model
What I say about myself.
Disclosure of my current mood, secret
and open motives, and my positive
and nega...
The 4-ears-model
What I think of you and how we relate
to each other.
Also possible to show non-verbally,
like through fac...
The 4-ears-model
What I want you to do.
On this level, the receiver perceives
the senders’ commands, wishes, and
advice di...
Sample 1: receiver’s perspective
A married couple is waiting together in a car in front of a red traffic light. It is turn...
Sample 2: sender and receiver’s perspectives
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
Sample 3: non-verbal message
Often, non-verbal channels are used for implicit messages. The voice, pronunciation and
empha...
Sample 4: non-verbal message
“One cannot not communicate.”– Paul Watzlawick (1969). Every behavior conveys a
message. We d...
This model will help you to:
Be more aware of your own words:
By being aware that certain sentences can trigger emotional ...
Learn more with our Professional
Coach Training Program (PCTP):
4 modules:
Fundamentals of Coaching (32 hours),
Performanc...
References:
Friedemann Schulz von Thun (2010). Miteinander reden 1: Störungen
und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der Ko...
Share, if you like.
executivecoachinternational
executive-coach-international
Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www....
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Series 4: 4 sides of a message - Model by Schulz von Thun

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Because of miscommunication there can be lots of frustration and anger. This model will help you understand the root of the misunderstanding and helps you deal the situation better the next time.

For more details, please visit: www.liveyourmark.com/pctp
or http://preview.liveyourmark.com/be-a-coach/

For mor life tips visit www.liveyourmark.com/blog

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Series 4: 4 sides of a message - Model by Schulz von Thun

  1. 1. Tips for better communication IV 4 sides of a message!
  2. 2. Tips for better communication: a 4-part series Series 1: Building empathy Series 2: How to listen Series 3: How to ask Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  3. 3. Communication always consists of at least one sender and one receiver. According to the ‘4-sides-of-a-message-model’ or ‘4-ears-model’ of Friedemann Schulz von Thun, messages can be sent or received in 4 different ways. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  4. 4. 4 sides of a message As shown in the model above, the receiver has up to 4 different possible ways to understand the message. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com messageSender Receiver
  5. 5. The 4-sides model is also called the 4-ears-model Since every message can be received with a different ear. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  6. 6. The 4-ears-model What I inform you about. I impart all the necessary facts and data. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  7. 7. The 4-ears-model What I say about myself. Disclosure of my current mood, secret and open motives, and my positive and negative feelings and thoughts. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  8. 8. The 4-ears-model What I think of you and how we relate to each other. Also possible to show non-verbally, like through facial expressions, intonations or gestures. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  9. 9. The 4-ears-model What I want you to do. On this level, the receiver perceives the senders’ commands, wishes, and advice directed at him or herself. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  10. 10. Sample 1: receiver’s perspective A married couple is waiting together in a car in front of a red traffic light. It is turning green, but the man doesn’t start driving immediately. Therefore his wife is saying: “The traffic light is green.” These are four different ways the husband can receive the message. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com She is impatient. She is annoyed. She is saying: “Don’t dawdle. Start driving. Hurry up!” The traffic light turned indeed green. She is showing her superiority over me OR she wants to help me.
  11. 11. Sample 2: sender and receiver’s perspectives Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  12. 12. Sample 3: non-verbal message Often, non-verbal channels are used for implicit messages. The voice, pronunciation and emphasis, accompanied with facial expressions and gestures, also provide information about a conveyed message. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com I feel sad, OR I am happy; I am emotionally touched. Please stop being mean, OR please console me. I‘m crying. Look what you did, you jerk, OR you are amazing. crying
  13. 13. Sample 4: non-verbal message “One cannot not communicate.”– Paul Watzlawick (1969). Every behavior conveys a message. We don’t have to say something to communicate. For instance, when I enter a train compartment, I greet a stranger with a friendly remark. He doesn’t respond, but continues reading his newspaper. The message that I hear can be: Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com He wants to be left alone in silence. He doesn't want me to start a conversation under any circumstances. He is silent. Maybe I am not interesting enough for him to respond. silence
  14. 14. This model will help you to: Be more aware of your own words: By being aware that certain sentences can trigger emotional reactions, you can address facts objectively and not personally. Increase empathy towards others: Understanding how each communication can cause an emotional reaction will help you become more empathic towards others. Prevent conflicts and miscommunication Misunderstandings occur when the sender and receiver indicate and weigh the 4 levels differently. Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  15. 15. Learn more with our Professional Coach Training Program (PCTP): 4 modules: Fundamentals of Coaching (32 hours), Performance Coaching (35 hours), Relational Coaching (34 hours), Advanced Coaching Techniques (34 hours). 100% ‘LIVE’, in-person training in Singapore Internationally recognized and comprehensive structure Maximum learning and interaction in small learning groups ISO 9001:2008 certified program For more details, please visit: www.liveyourmark.com/pctp Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  16. 16. References: Friedemann Schulz von Thun (2010). Miteinander reden 1: Störungen und Klärungen. Allgemeine Psychologie der Kommunikation. (Talking with each other 1: dysfunction and clarification. General psychology of communication.) Publisher: Rowohlt. Reinbeck near Hamburg. Nachdenken über Kommunikation und Rheorik. 1.6 Die vier Seiten einer Nachricht. (Reflecting of communication and rhetoric. 1.6 The four sides of a message.) Found in: http://www.germanistik- kommprojekt.uni-oldenburg.de/sites/1/1_06.html Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com
  17. 17. Share, if you like. executivecoachinternational executive-coach-international Executive Coach International Pte Ltd – www.liveyourmark.com As coaching is a great thing, we like to share our knowledge we got from working with our clients over the last 11 years. For personal expertise click on http://preview.liveyourmark.com/be- a-coach/ Visit www.liveyourmark.com/blog for more life tips!

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