1. A Path To Servant Leadership 1
A Path to Servant-Leadership: Choosing Service Over Victimhood
Keely Christ
Gonzaga University, Fall 2012

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I lead with gratitude, profound humility and a knowingness that
what truly makes me satisfied in this human experience is my ability
to assist others. - Troy Stone
I had the extreme pleasure of interviewing my friend and colleague, Troy Stone in order
to complete the assignment for this paper; It seemed more meaningful to me to speak with
someone I felt embodied servant-leader philosophy rather than to just have a discussion about it
with any leader I might have access to in my organization. To find this person, I went to the core
query Greenleaf provides for us as we question our experience of Servant Leadership: “Do those
served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more
autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least
privileged in society? Will they benefit or at least not be further deprived?” (Greenleaf, 2002.)
I struggled to think of who I would speak with in order to complete this assignment; who
exemplified these traits? I eventually decided to put my obsessive thoughts about it aside,
knowing the right person would appear - and when I did, an image of Troy jumped to the
forefront of my mind.
While Troy and I previously worked in the same department we both moved on and he is
now a business consultant for our Diversity and Inclusion department. We remain connected as
we currently serve together on what we refer to as a multi-cultural business resource group
within our organization.

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From the time I first began working with Troy I felt instantly connected to him due to his
warm, welcoming and honest way of being. He is one of the few people I know in my workplace
who speaks with truth, humility and compassion - concurrently and consistently.
During our conversation, we discussed what we each thought “servant-leadership” really
meant, initially focusing on the descriptive traits of the philosophy; (Spears, 2010.) listening;
empathy, healing, awareness; persuasion; conceptualization; foresight; stewardship; commitment
to the growth of people; building community.
As our conversation progressed and Troy began to share more of his personal story with
me, I experienced one of those rare and profound moments when the paradox of a particular
event becomes so clear and utterly conceivable. He told me the story of how, from the time he
was ten until approximately twelve years old, he and his family were literally in danger of being
killed. His mother had married a man who, on the day of their wedding, brought her home and
beat her, telling her that now she was his property and belonged to him – and that if she ever
tried to leave, he would kill her. As it happened, he did tell someone he knew that he had plans to
rape Troy and his brother in front of their mother, and then burn them all inside their house.
Someone to whom he confided his plans notified the authorities who were able to get Troy and
his brother out of school and contact their mother in time. A place in another state was found for
them to hide and they had to change their names. About two years later the man somehow did
find them and, using gasoline, set their apartment on fire as he had previously promised. Troy’s
mother woke him and his brother and was able to break a small window and drop the two boys
down to the ground, unfortunately, not completely to safety. As Troy landed, he broke numerous
bones in his body, including his back. Additionally, his mother suffered severe burns to her
hands from holding on to the window ledge while the fire department struggled to be able to get

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to her from a ladder that did not quite reach the window. All three members of the family
miraculously survived.
As I listened to this story and put it into context, how I perceive Troy and my ongoing
experiences of him began to make total sense – a gay man who (literally) rose from the ashes to
step into his authentic, servant-leader-self; a man who moved into a role in his workplace for
which, technically, he was not qualified, but by who’s unwavering example of loving
acceptance, more “educated” members of his department have learned much; a man who, from
the depths of grief of losing his beloved mother, agreed to adopt his own little cousin (who was
then deeply disturbed due to suffering from extreme physical and emotional neglect) and has
raised him into a bright, creative, funny and loving teenager with a high school graduation just
around the corner; a man who consistently brings energy, insight and wisdom to our business
resource group. I saw a more comprehensive picture of my friend and gained a much clearer
understanding of what makes him exceptional. Troy truly is that example of an individual who
takes whatever experience of pain and suffering he has been dealt and shapes it into a beautiful
and sparkling gift he continuously gives to others.
One example of the remarkable servant-leadership Troy brings to our workplace is how
he has facilitated a significant shift in the function and goals of a group of individuals within our
organization known as Diversity Champions. These individuals, mostly front line unionized
healthcare staff, had limited success prior to Troy being assigned to lead them. The historical
view of this group by managers (like myself) was that the interest of the members was in
obtaining personal benefits in that they were able to attend various functions as part of our Labor
Management Partnership agreements, but there was not a significant contribution on the part of
the group. Troy has been a major influence in inspiring the team to look beyond what serves each

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of them as individuals, toward a perspective of ownership and responsibility. The group has now
been active in the community, participating in various projects that support at-risk members of
our city. The change in the focus of the team has been so striking and their contributions so
significant that they were recently recognized nationally by being awarded the R.J. Erickson
award by our organization. Named in honor of Robert J. Erickson, former general counsel and
lifelong advocate and champion of diversity, the awards are recognition of “meritorious
achievement in the field of cultural competence, work force diversity, member satisfaction, and
community service.” (www.audacityofpride.org. 2012).
Troy’s team took this award in 2012 because of his guidance and inspirational leadership.
Many of our union workgroups still concern themselves mostly with obtaining opportunities and
benefits for their constituents, which has long been the culture of our organization. The course
adjustment for this particular group is significant and, I believe, will continue to alter what
values we prioritize as an organization. In this example, Troy neatly fits the example of servant-
leader, as indicated by Greenleaf: he has inspired others to become more servant-like and, as a
result, the “least privileged in society” have benefited. Additionally, he responds to
congratulatory comments by reminding others of the work the team members did in order to
achieve their recognition, rather than accept personal kudos despite being well placed within the
organization to do so and utilizing the achievement for his own advancement.
In my view, my friend (indeed, my role model) Troy is a fine example of a servant leader.
Dr. Chopra tells us “Becoming a leader is the most crucial choice one can make – it is the
decision to step out of darkness into the light.” (Chopra, 2010). Troy stepped out of the darkness
of the experiences in his past and into the light, not only bringing illumination to his own life but

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the lives of those around him. I want to share here some of the thoughts he sent me via email
after our face to face interview, typical of his reflective nature.
As cliché as it may sound, I truly believe that we are the sum of our
experiences. If we are truly to evolve, part of our experience should be to
view the experiences of others as no "less than” (our own). Through our behaviors
and actions, we can hopefully evolve past a judgmental state and create harmony
within ourselves to transcend biases and judgments. I feel this should be true both
internally and externally. When we judge others, we should be given a mirror to
reflect what is about ourselves that is causing a negative judgment. At our core,
we seek understanding and acceptance. This must truly start within oneself to be
able to reap the benefits of the acceptance of others that differ from us. In our
quest to form community, we sometimes get lost. We can sabotage our experience
in a subconscious way but that can be useful as we must all learn from our
mistakes. The lessons that I have learned in life have been purposeful and needed
so that I could get to a point in which I can turn off old programs of questioning
my self worth and that of others. I see the lessons from my mistakes with clarity
as they are not clouded by emotional dysfunction. My mother had a beautiful
inner peace within her – a disposition of self-love and acceptance that sadly
became polluted by fear. Her abuser had such a hold on her and watching her
evolution after the abuse has inspired me to be a better human, an honest human
and a more compassionate human. I would never wish her experience on anyone
yet I know it was purposeful as it helped form the human I am today. Her

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sacrifice will never be in vain. It is (seeing) through this lens that provides my
ability to lead and to see past wherever it seems like someone is in their journey
(and perceive their potential).
Our "emotional hardwiring" can dictate our evolution of self. One can become
stuck is their experiences are limited by fear of the unknown. Once we break past
those old programs and realize we are in control of our destiny, the light that
shines from within becomes so much stronger. Our resilient nature and ability to
connect the deep rooted inner "spark" to get to a place of happiness and safety is
profound. With self-awareness and embracing, I am able to differentiate an
emotional reaction to things that displease me. I am able to reflect and project a
spirit of compassion and acceptance to others. It is within my humility that I am
so readily able to teach and hopefully inspire. I lead with gratitude, profound
humility and a knowingness that what truly makes me satisfied in this human
experience is my ability to assist others. (T. Stone, Personal Communication,
2012.)
I consider myself fortunate and honored to work with Troy, who has aided me to have a
richer understanding of Servant Leadership and how to apply it in all areas of my own life more
vigorously.

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References
Chopra, D. (2010). The soul of leadership. New York. Random House. Kindle edition.
Greenleaf, R. (2002). Servant leadership: a journey into the nature of legitimate power and
greatness. Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press. Kindle edition.
Holt, R. The Audacity of pride website. Retrieved from:
http://audacityofpride.com/portfolio/2010-r-j-erickson-diversity-achievement-award-10-
27-10
Spears, L. Character and servant leadership: ten characteristics of servant leaders. Journal of
Virtues and Leadership, Vol 1, Issue 1, 2010, p 25-30. Retrieved from:
http://www.leadershiparlington.org/EMAIL%20UPLOADS/Spears_Final.pdf