2. Do you recognize these people?
The Know-
It-Alls
They’re arrogant
and usually have
an opinion on
every issue. When
they’re wrong,
they get defensive.
The
Passives
These people
never offer
ideas
or let you
know
where they
stand.
The
Dictators
They bully and
intimidate.
They’re
constantly
demanding and
brutally critical.
3. Do you recognize these people?
The “Yes”
People
They agree to any
commitment, yet
rarely deliver. You
can’t trust them
to follow through
The “No”
People
They are quick
to point out why
something won’t
work. What’s
worse, they’re
inflexible.
The
Gripers
Is anything
ever
right with
them?
They prefer
complaining
to
finding
solutions.
4. Three Important Questions
Three major questions will emerge when you start to explore how to
deal with difficult people:
1. How do you respond to specific types of problematic behavior?
2. What is the impact of your own behaviors and attitudes on
others?
3. How do you communicate effectively in a disciplinary
conversation?
5. Your Attitude: It’s Up to You!
Your attitude is the way you communicate yourself to others. If you
are optimistic, think the best of others, and anticipate positive
outcomes, you present a positive attitude and people usually enjoy
being with you. If you are pessimistic, expect the worst, and
anticipate that others won’t do the best thing, you present a
negative attitude and may make it difficult for others to enjoy being
around you. So when we begin a discussion of difficulties with
people and situations, we have to start with ourselves!
6. Clarify Your Purpose and Goals
Knowing what is important to you personally and professionally
gives you a firm foundation for dealing with difficult situations and
non-productive behaviours of others. When you know what you
want to achieve, you are better able to make clear decisions from a
positive outlook. You will be more able to let things slide which
might have really side-tracked you if you didn’t know the outcomes
you most desire.
7. Good Communication Skill
In order to deal with the difficult people in your life, it’s
important to first understand the process of communication
and how you communicate. Good communication involves
much more than just talking and hearing; and a good
communicator understands that, to interact with different
people in life, you can’t always communicate in the same form.
9. A Checklist for the
Good Conversation
• Don’t act when angry.
Strong emotions cloud judgment and impede one’s ability to
speak appropriately. Anger also evokes heated responses,
taking the focus off the real issues that need to be
addressed.
• Reprimand in private.
If you embarrass or injure a person’s pride in front of
colleagues, you reduce the likelihood that performance will
improve.
• Determine whether the problem is with the employee or the
work conditions.
Ask if anything is hindering the person from doing a good
job. This line of questioning demonstrates that you are more
interested in performance than blame.
10. • Don’t describe the problem in terms of a “bad attitude”
You don’t know what’s going on in a person’s head. You can
observe the behavior and determine whether it stays the same,
improves or gets worse.
• Gain the member’s commitment to change.
Most people, if their shortcomings are confronted in a calm,
professional manner, will make an agreement to improve
behavior.
11. Essential Attributes in Leading Others
1. Providing feedback
The first essential attribute in leading others is to learn how to provide
feedback. People in organisations are looking for feedback, praise and
recognition for what they are doing to help you get results. A large
proportion of our life is spent at work and we all like to feel valued. If
you had to rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in terms of providing
feedback (10 being excellent) what score would you give yourself?
Providing feedback takes little or no time, costs nothing and is one of
the biggest contributors to a happy workforce and staff retention levels.
12. 2. Listening and involving
An autocratic style where people were told what to do and get on with it
will not work in the modern business world. People want to be involved in
contributing to key decisions and feel that their points of view have been
heard. As the leader, you clearly need to take the final decision. Chances
are that not everyone will agree with the decision but if you have taken the
time to listen to and involve others in the decision process, they are more
likely to get behind the decision you reach.
3. Getting the balance right
One of the challenges in leading others is getting the balance right
between delegating to others and keeping track on progress. Too much
involvement could result in the other person or team thinking that you
don't trust them. Too little involvement could mean that you find out too
late that things are off track and deadlines are going to be missed. Making
the time at the outset to brief others, check their understanding and agree
review points is a simple but effective way of getting the balance right.
13. 4. Model the way
If you want people to listen to one another, then listen closely to people. If
you want them to be transparent and candid, then you go first. If you want
them to dig deeper to identify root causes of their problems, then model
that yourself. If you want them to be accountable to one another, then be
sure they know of your accountability relationship. Lead the example, not
just by what you say.
5. Stay with fruitful conversation
For a group leader who are specially time conscious, its natural to march
through a set of questions and make sure everything gets covered in the
time allotted. The best group leader remain mindful, though, the real goal
of the meeting is transformation, not completion.
14. 6. Setting objectives
In leading others, it is vitally important to set clear objectives. Leaders
sometimes fall into the trap of believing that a long job description with lots
of detail about what the employee is required to do serve that purpose. In
addition to this, make a point of setting around 6 key objectives for each
person. These objectives should be specific, measurable, achievable,
results orientated and time limited.
7. Training and developing
When leading others you need to make the time and give the commitment
to training people. As a leader, you need to make the time to help people
grow and get better at what they do.