Training program for child protective social workers and managers, as well as for those who care for multi-stressed families.

1. Coaching Parents and
Caregivers of Multi-
Stressed Families
Jackie Woodside
CPC, LICSW
www.JackieWoodside.com
508-333-5520

2. Setting Your Intention for the
Day
 What I intend to experience or
take away from this day is…

3. Course Objectives
 Understand coaching
 Understand how context impacts
experience
 Understand levels of consciousness
and how it impacts caregivers and
service providers
 Develop a coaching model for
coaching caregivers in multi stress
families

4. Multi Stressed Families
 Violence or corporal punishment
 Substance abuse and other addictions
 Poverty
 Lack of employment or under employment
 Mental health problems
 Multi-generational problems
 Engaged with various service providers

5. Multi Stressed Families
 Lower educational levels
 Lacking positive role models
 Often lowered self-esteem
 Multiple problems over multiple
generations

6. Parents of Multi-Stressed Families
 Frazzled
 Overwhelmed
 Stressed
 Often feel defeated
 Want to do well in life
 Uncertain how to improve
 Lack of opportunity
 Stigmatized
 Low level of consciousness

7. Service Providers of Multi Stressed Families
 Often experiencing secondary trauma
 Lack of resources
 Excessive administrative demands (stats and
numbers)
 Interacting with multiple service sectors
 Changing service models and regulations
 Stigmatized
 Overwhelmed with work load and demands
 Stressed

8. Danger Zone
The Challenge:

9. Levels of Consciousness

10. Survival:
 Predominant feeling that life is hard
 Often feels victimized by things and people
 Apathy and disengagement
 Angry that life is so hard
 Blames others

11. Stress
 Life is difficult but I try to do better
 Hard worker
 Resigned
 Willing to learn more to get ahead
 Able to work with others in a
cooperative fashion
Stress

12. Transformation
 Living beyond the notion that life is hard
 Committed to personal growth and the
growth of all that one is involved with
 Recognizes the natural flow of life and is
able to align with it
 Takes little personally and maintains
harmonious relations with all people and
circumstances
Transformation

13. Transcendence
 Lives in peaceful harmony and joy
 Recognizes the ease and sacredness in life
 Able to create extraordinary outcomes for
oneself and for large groups of people
 Natural motivator
 Feels at one with life and humanity
Transcendence

14. Therefore, creating a high consciousness
context of self-care is KEY!

15. Understanding Context
 The attitudinal or energetic
environment inside of which
anything lives
 Context gives rise to experience
 What is the context of multi
stressed families?
 What is the context of service
providers of multi stressed families?

16. 10 Ways to Practice Self Care at Work
 1. Start your day with an intention.
 2. Remove yourself from negative conversations.
 3. Never gossip, complain or blame others.
 4. Take a breath-break between every activity.
 5. Plan your day and what you want to
accomplish. Leave room in your schedule for
unplanned interruptions.

17. 10 Ways to Practice Self Care at Work
 6. Express appreciation and gratitude to coworkers.
 7. Express appreciation and gratitude to your
supervisors and managers.
 8. Eat lunch and healthy snacks throughout the day.
 9. Drink plenty of water.
 10. Go for a walk, move your body.

18. Content vs. Context

19. Establishing Your Personal Context
 Your values as a child welfare
worker
 Your professional collegial values

20. Coaching Defined
An action-oriented discipline
designed to help people achieve
their dreams, goals and visions.

21. Coaching Process

22. Engage

23. Engagement
 Establish a positive connection between
self and caregiver
 Evaluate and intentionally determine
your perception of the client: who do
you say they are?
 Handling the business side of the
relationship: paperwork, rules, policies
 Affirming the caregivers desire for a
better future
 Establishing an empowering perspective:
 Focus on what they want and are doing
well.

24. Envision

25. Envision
 Help clients think about and create a
vision for what they want for their
children and family.
 Ask open-ended, compelling questions
like:
 In a perfect world, how would you be
parenting your children.
 What is the best possible image of
your family life. What do you wish it
was like?
 What are you already doing that is
similar to this vision?
 What would you like to be doing more
of?

26. Assess

27. Assess
 This phase of coaching helps to identify the gap
between the client’s vision for what they want
and how they are actually living and behaving.
 Use self assessment inventories, self-monitoring
tools and checklists to help them identify the
areas for skill development.

28. Design

29. Design
 Create a plan of action to move toward the
vision
 What resources are needed?
 What behavior changes are needed?
 What support does the client need to change
those behaviors?

30. Integrate

31. Integrate
 The new behavior becomes more ingrained.
 A new normal is being established.
 Help client identify their progress – however small
that progress may be.

32. 1. Self-Awareness
2. Social Awareness
3. Self-Management
4. Relationship Skills
5. Responsible Decision Making
The 5 EQ Competencies
Coaching Parents to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

33. Emotional Intelligence Competencies

34. Self-Awareness
 Accurately assessing one’s own
thoughts, feelings, interests, values, and
strengths
 Recognizing how they influence
choices and actions
 Maintaining a well-grounded sense of
self-confidence
Across
Development
Elementary Grades:
Able to recognize
and accurately
label simple
emotions such as
sadness, anger, and
happiness
Middle School:
Should be able to
analyze factors that
trigger their stress
reactions.
High School:
Are expected to
analyze how various
expressions of
emotion affect
others.

35. Social Awareness
 Taking others’ perspective and empathizing with
them
 Recognizing and appreciating individual and
group similarities and differences
 Recognizing and using family, school, and
community resources
ACROSS
DEVELOPMENT
ELEMENTARY GRADES:
SHOULD BE ABLE TO
IDENTIFY VERBAL,
PHYSICAL, AND
SITUATIONAL CUES
INDICATING HOW
OTHERS FEEL.
MIDDLE SCHOOL:
SHOULD BE ABLE TO
PREDICT OTHERS’
FEELINGS AND
PERSPECTIVES IN
VARIOUS
SITUATIONS.
HIGH SCHOOL:
SHOULD BE ABLE TO
EVALUATE THEIR
ABILITY TO
EMPATHIZE WITH
OTHERS.

36. Self-Management
 Regulating one’s emotions to handle
stress, control impulses, and persevere in
overcoming obstacles
 Setting and monitoring progress toward
personal, academic and religious goals
 Expressing emotions appropriately
Across Development
Elementary Grades:
Children are
expected to describe
the steps of setting
and working toward
goals.
Middle School:
Should be able to set
and make a plan
to achieve a short-
term personal or
academic goal.
High School:
Should be able to
identify strategies
to make use of
available school
and community
resources and
overcome
obstacles in
achieving a long-

37. Relationship Skills
 Establishing and maintaining healthy and
rewarding relationships based on
cooperation, respect and mutual support
 Resisting inappropriate social pressure
 Preventing, managing, and resolving
interpersonal conflict
 Seeking help when needed
Across
Development
Elementary Grades:
Should have an
ability to describe
approaches to
making and
keeping friends.
Middle School:
Are expected to
demonstrate co-
operation and
team-work to
promote group
goals.
High School:
Are expected to
evaluate uses of
communication
skills with peers,
teachers and
family members.

38. Responsible Decision-Making
 Making decisions based on consideration
of:
 Ethical standards
 Safety concerns
 Appropriate social norms
 Respect for others, and
 Likely consequences of various actions
 Applying decision-making skills to social and
academic situations
 Contributing to the
well-being of one’s
family, school and
community
Across
Developme
nt
Elementary
Grades:
 Should be able to
identify a range of
decisions they
make at home and
school.
Middle School:
 Should be able to
evaluate strategies
for resisting peer
pressure to engage
in unsafe or
unethical activities.
High School:
 Should be able to
analyze how their
current decision-
making affects
their yeshiva,
seminary, or
college and career
prospects

39. Family Life
Our first school for emotional learning

40. Family Life
 Feel about ourselves and how
others will react to our feelings
 Think about these feelings and
what choices we have in reacting
 Express hopes and fears
 Through family life, we learn how to:

41. Family Life
 This learning takes place:
 In what parents say and do
 In how adults treat each
other
When parents are emotionally competent in
their own relationships, they are more
capable of helping their children work
through their emotional challenges.

42. Emotionally Intelligent Parent
How to be an

43. How do Parent’s See Their
Role?
 Gain compliance
 Children should do as
they are told.
 Eliminate negative
behaviors and
emotions.
 Sees negative emotion
and behavior as
manipulation.
 Instills fear rather than
gains respect.
 Sees self as “The Boss”
 Develop the child
 Sees negative emotion
and behavior as a
normal part of the
child’s growth.
 Helps child label
feelings
 Sets clear, consistent
limits and allows
freedom within them.
 Shows empathy with
the child’s emotional
upsets.
 Sees self a “Teacher or
Guide.”

44. How Beliefs Shape Our World
 Common Parental Beliefs:
 Life is hard
 My children must show love and respect to me
 My children should (must) do what I say
 I’m the boss
 My children’s behavior says something about me
 My job is to make my children behave/gain
compliance
 Children should have the same expectations as
adults

45. How Do These Beliefs Impact Behavior?

46. Seeing the Link
 How do you want your child to be when
they are grown up?
 For example: confident, happy,
independent, kind
 What actions/behavior from you will help
them develop those characteristics?
 For example: being a role model,
showing unconditional love, helping
them learn social skills

47. Coaching Multi Stressed Families Means
 Collaborator
 Educator
 Mentor
 Guide
 Cheerleader
 Emotionally intelligent role model
 Communicator
 You are a:

48.  Coaching is taking a
people where they
want to go but
cannot take
themselves.

49. Contact me for more
assistance with the
important work you do!
 www.JackieWoodside.com
 www.Facebook.com/JackieWoodsideSpeaker
 www.LinkedIn.com/in/JackieWoodside
 508-333-5520