The document provides tips for improving women's communication by eliminating certain verbal habits that can undermine confidence and impact. It identifies 7 common pitfalls in women's communication: using words like "just" and "actually" that diminish their message; telling others why their words may be wrong; saying they will only take a minute to present; making statements sound like questions; substituting questions for statements; and not pausing. The document encourages leaving bad habits and presenting ideas with certainty, allowing feedback without excuses, and using shorter sentences and pausing for maximum impact and control.

1. TRADE TIPS:
LOVE IT
BUT LEAVE IT
By Nicole Hayes

2. • Similar to relationships gone bad,
you may have habits that hinder
your growth
• Some bad habits and relationships are
hard to break but I’ll suggest this:
LEAVE IT

3. In February’s issue of Toastmasters, the
publication for Toastmasters International,
Tara Sophia Mohr presents seven “pitfalls”
commonly observed in women’s
communication.

4. These pitfalls can undermine the
confidence and impact of our words.

5. 1. DROP THE JUST
• Example: “Just checking,” “I’m just
wondering,” or “I just think”
• Problem: The word “just” demeans what
you have to say. It shrinks your power.

6. 2. DROP “ACTUALLY”
• Example: “I actually have a question”
• Problem: Using the word “actually”
communicates a sense of surprise to others
that you “actually” have something to say.
You’re an intelligent woman — of COURSE
you have something important to say!
• Solution: Eliminate this and other verbal
garbage (ex: “just”) that can sabotage your
speaking impact.

7. 3. DON’T TELL US WHY YOUR WORDS
MAY BE WRONG
• Example: “I haven’t done much research,” or
“you’ve clearly done this longer than me but…”
• Problem: These phrases reduce the
power of your voice.
• Solution: Present your information and allow
for feedback and discussion, even if people
disagree with your information.

8. 4. DON’T SAY “I’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE”
• Problem: With this notice, people will watch
the clock and hope you hurry up. They’ll focus
on your time taken rather than your message.
• Solution: Instead say, “I’m here to tell you
about our idea.” Let the clock tick.
• You can still be mindful not to abuse
someone’s time in the process of sharing, and
you may only take a minute.

9. 5. DON’T MAKE YOUR SENTENCES
SOUND LIKE QUESTIONS
• How does this happen? By having a raised
pitch at the end of your statement.
• Solution: Say your statement flat
and with certainty.

10. 6. DON’T SUBSTITUTE A QUESTION
FOR A STATEMENT
• Example: “What about having the event on
Tuesday instead of Thursday?”
• Problem: Doing this gives less weight to what
may be a good idea you’re presenting.
• Solution: Simply present your idea and
don’t couch it as a question.

11. 7. PUNCTUATE AND PAUSE
• Ever heard a long presentation from
someone and you wonder if they’ll take a
breath?
•They may be nervous and want to quickly hurl
their information for fear of being shut down by
others’ interjections.
• Solution: Pause. Use shorter sentences as it
makes you sound calm, confident and in
control.
• For example, “Hi. My name is (blank). Today,
I’ll share with you three ways to improve your
communication. My three points are…”

12. So ladies, you may have loved the
habit, but leave it.
Make these changes one at a time. We
applaud you in your growth — it looks
good on you, so work it!

13. This presentation was originally published
on our Voice Matters Blog.
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visit www.mckpr.com
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