This document provides tips for pretending to know soccer in order to not look like an idiot at a World Cup party. It outlines basic rules like using feet and head but not hands, and having 11 players per team. Key phrases are recommended to use, such as "Cross it!" when a player is at the sideline, and commenting that a play may have been "offsides." Famous soccer player Lionel Messi is suggested to use as a comparison if another player screws up. The term "Joga bonito" is also defined.