1. The 3R’s of MiddleYears Education:
Relationship, Relationship and Relationship
David Wilcox
2. Overview
• TheWhy of Relationships
• Relationship Links:The Contextualised you, me and them
• Trauma-blocks to relationship
• Classroom strategies – sharing experiences
• How to get it wrong
• Action planning
3.
4. Foundational Premise
•As MiddleYears educators, everything we do will be
shaped by the quality of the relationships we build with
our adolescent learners.
• As we build relationships that are founded on trust, care, and mutual
respect, we will find that our students will follow us anywhere – into better
learning, better behaviour choices, better life choices, better futures…
9. Declining Mental Health
In just the five years between 2010 and 2015, the number of U.S. teens who felt useless and
joyless – classic symptoms of depression – surged 33 percent in large national surveys.Teen
suicide attempts increased 23 percent. Even more troubling, the number of 13- to 18-year-
olds who committed suicide jumped 31 percent.
All told, our analysis found that the generation of teens I call “iGen” – those born after 1995 –
is much more likely to experience mental health issues than their millennial predecessors.
JeanTwenge theconversation.com
Over 4 millionAustralians (17%) experience mental health issues every year
Government to invest $100 million (Teacher training to start in 2018)
Positive relationships create an environment for appropriate disclosure and support
10. TheValue In Mentoring OurYouth
By introducing youth to new experiences and sharing positive values, mentors
can help young people avoid negative behaviours and achieve success. For
example:
• 59 percent of mentored teenagers earn better grades.
• 27 percent of mentored youth are less likely to begin using alcohol.
• 52 percent of mentored youth are less likely to skip school.
• Youth with mentors have increased likelihood of going to college, better
attitudes toward school, increased social and emotional development, and
improved self-esteem.
• Arly Nguyen
• Socialworklicencemap.com
11. Culture & Community
Every student’s academic
and personal development
is guided by an adult
advocate
12.
13.
14. The Power of Relationship
"Time and again I asked the students who their role models were and who
influenced their view of what makes a good man, and almost always they ...
made a very definite distinction between men they admired and those they
actually wanted to be like and were very clear in their assertions that they
needed to know a man personally before they could decide whether he merited
being described as a good man."
…they identified three distinct groups of men…
"There were the men who had access to what the students might want in
later life [and] the men who had achieved excellence in their particular field
of interest; and the men they might actually want to be like…
"These [the third group] were the men they knew personally, the men they
actually aspired to be like. In this group were their grandfathers, their uncles,
their older brothers, their teachers and their coaches, and on rare occasions,
their fathers.
15. ATeacher on Our Side
From their new perspective as adolescents, students in the
middle grades begin to watch their teachers in new ways.
They notice every little thing about who you are, what you do,
and how you do it.
They are always assessing what they see: Do they trust you, or
not? Do they want to be like you, or not? Do you respect them,
or not? Are you on their side, or not?
16. ATeacher on Our Side
“A lot of kids don’t have anybody to look up to. Somebody that you
know – to follow in their footsteps, to learn from their mistakes, or just
to help out – it’s really hard without that. Teachers can be like that, but
a lot of teachers aren’t. They teach you social studies, and just that.
They don’t find that special bond or connection with you.” Alma
“She was real down to earth, really talkative, but she was also very…
‘teachative’ – I don’t know what word. She was very smart. She’d
teach you. She’d try with you until you got it, and she was real nice.
She’d offer to stay after school, so you could go there if you didn’t get it”
Martin
18. Factors that influence student engagement
• Katherine Main and Donna Pendergaast have adapted Gibbs
& Poskitt’s review, listing the following as having “strong and
compelling” evidence of a positive effect:
1. Relationships with teachers and other students
2. Motivation and interest in learning
3. Goal orientation
4. Academic self regulation
5. Self efficacy
19. Engaging the MiddleYears Student
[Adolescence is] a period when students’ motivation and
engagement decline…The causes of alienation are multifaceted
and complex. However… literature consistently reported
several predictors… that need to be considered to improve
student motivation and engagement, including:
… Student-Teacher relationships – Supportive relationships that
involve positive interactions with students are important for
students to feel challenged and motivated.
…Positive student-teacher relationships were significantly and
positively correlated with both engagement and
achievement, with engagement being the stronger
association.
20. Relationship and the Adolescent Brain
• https://aspergersmom.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/teenagebrain2.jpg
21. Who am I,Who areThey?
• Relationships are based on a knowledge of self and of the other
25. And a bit deeper…
• Male
• Married with children
• A Cusper – Baby Boomer / Gen X – with older parents
• Attended several school, lived in small communities
• Lived away from parents to complete school
• Experienced loss
• A teacher who loves his job
• Someone who believes he can make a difference (if only for one)
26. • Be the widest, deepest person you can be: “Suck the marrow out of life”
• Andy Stanley (Global Leadership Summit 2017): “Your greatest contribution to the world
may not be something you do but someone you [help] raise”
27. The ContextualisedYou
• Take a moment to note…
• Be self-evaluative
• What is yourWhy? As a teacher, as an individual, in your school community?
• What are your skills, talents, abilities, experiences, likes, dislikes…
• everything you do should be considered professional development.
29. • Teaching my Grade 8's to cook hashbrowns today and one of the boys stands
next to me and says, "MoveTeach, I got this..." He takes the spatula out of my
hand and gets ready to flip the next batch. He asks, "Miss, will these taste like
McDonalds hashbrowns?" I reply, "Nope, these are better!" He quizzes me,
"Why?" I tell him, "Cause we put love into these ones..." He gets this worried look
on his face and tells me, "But Miss, I don't have any love in my hands!!"That's
when I say, "Nah, I put it in there myself, we're all good." He's happy with that
and I think, "I am a massive girly idiot" and I'm happy with that.
32. Myers Briggs
• 16 personality types – help to create
understanding of self and others
• Find online test suitable for teens
• I am ISFJ –
• Introversion (I), Sensing (S),
• Feeling (F),Judgment (J)
41. Proximate Relationship
• …we will be most effecting when we are ‘proximate’ with others - we need to get
into the hard places in life and help people feel that we are supporting them.
There is power in proximity. We discover that we don’t need an answer because
the answer comes from our proximity to the one with this problem. Hopefulness
is essential but it takes courage to remain hopeful in some situations [with some
kids] and we are often called to do the uncomfortable things [eg love the
unlovable kids].
• Bryan Stevenson (Director of Equal Justice Initiative)
43. How to get it wrong…
• Friend vs mentor relationship
• Poor knowledge of self
• Acting out of own neediness. Be the adult not the teen-wannabe
• Sarcasm
• Ingenuine relationship (you can’t fake it until you make it with teens)
• Favouritism (perceived or real)
• Expecting you’ll be the most significant voice in their world.
44. How to get it wrong…
• Use your mouth more than your ears
• Rush and don’t give time.
• Be the Mumma bear with no teeth
• Presume your role is giving feedback. This will be seen as a threat. Your
role is to coach and be supportive (for it will be seen that way).
• Inconsistency. Sometimes you need to play the role of the relational
teacher when you least want to
• Forget that adolescents change, especially during adolescence
45. Action
Laszlo Bock (past SeniorVP of People at Google):
• Find out why you are doing what you are doing
• Write it down
• Visit it often
• Tell others about it
• Talk to the beneficiaries of your work
• Life is hard, brutal and distracting so be reminded and refreshed often.
46. My action list
• Be myself. Be real.
• Know myself. Develop myself (deep and wide)
• Smile, joke, laugh, greet
• Love my students
• Know my students, ask about them, learn about them
• Know the adolescent zeitgeist
• Be a model. Be a mentor. Be a voice.
• Be passionate about life and learning
• Help students feel safe
• Have routines
• Be present, attentive, engaged, challenging, demanding
• Give them time
• Trust them and be trustworthy
48. • Homeless and parentless, this 20-year-old turned to his 8th grade teacher
49. Continue the conversation
• davidw@highlands.qld.edu.au
• PowerPoint available at
slideshare.net/DavidWilcox40/the-3rs-of-middle-education-coct-presentation