I’m writing this for the “explainers” out there. And it doesn’t matter if you explain to parents, partners, or priests. You know who you are! And here are 6 irresistible reasons to go "Explaint-Free". Learn more about Christine at http://www.christinekane.com

1. 6 Irresistible Reasons to Stop Explaining Yourself
by Christine Kane
Jennifer’s parents didn’t approve of her choice to hire a coach now that her new
business was up and running. Jennifer was expecting a long letter from them filled
with judgments about her irresponsibility – first, with starting this “crazy” business
and second, with paying someone for advice. As she waited for that letter, she was
figuring out what she would write back.
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My client Sylvia just bought her dream house. She avoided telling her father about it
for fear that he would judge her, call her irresponsible and proceed to describe her
imminent demise. She finally did email her father and tell hi. On our call, she told me
that she was waiting for his reaction gearing up to explain her choice to him.
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Now, there are some people who might read these stories and think, “Are you
kiddin’ me? Who cares what anyone thinks about your houses or coaches or
anything??!”
If this is you, then read no further. This article is not for you.
I’m writing this for the “explainers” out there. And it doesn’t matter if you explain to
parents, partners, or priests. You know who you are!
You’ve heard me talk about the benefits of going “Complaint-Free,” right? Well,
today, we’re going to talk about going “Explaint-Free!”
And here are 6 irresistible reasons to do just that:

2. 1 – Waiting Drains Your Energy.
When I’m coaching an explainer, I can see that much of her energy goes to the act of
waiting.
She waits for judgment.
She waits for people to “get” her before she’ll take action.
She waits for people to approve of her choice.
She waits for criticism.
This literally drains her creative life force. Both women in the examples above
were losing energy waiting for criticism.
Here’s your first big challenge: Give up the non-activity of waiting.
2 – You Need to Learn to Trust your Choices.
Explaining robs you of empowerment.
Our decisions teach us valuable lessons about intuition and instinct. RARELY do
our clear decisions come from our mental activity. Gut instinct is clearer than our
critical minds.
When we explain ourselves, however, we move away from the place of deep trust
in our intuition and into the realm of mental activity – where the choice didn’t come
from in the first place! We’ve suddenly stopped honoring and trusting ourselves
and started creating a pattern of mental activity as we question our choices.
3 – Explaining Blocks Creativity.
Creativity means you’re the Creator of your life. You’re a Creator. Not a Reactor.
When you explain yourself, you become a “Reactor.” You can’t live in both realms at
once. They contradict each other. Living in a state of reaction causes you to cut off
the flow of creativity.
4 –Disapproval is a Great Opportunity.
Huh?
Yes, I’m serious about this!
Becoming an adult in the deepest sense is about learning to take responsibility for
your actions and choices. Sometimes that means other people won’t like these
actions and choices. And what a great opportunity people provide when they do
that!
I once heard a relationship coach say that love can sometimes mean letting your
partner be disappointed in your choices. Think about that. Can you stand in your

3. body and love someone enough to allow them not be happy with a choice you’re
making?
5 – Explainers Endorse Irresponsibility.
People who take personal responsibility for their lives do not blame others (or
themselves) for their unhappiness, for their life situations, or for their financial
state, etc. Instead, they recognize that they created it, and they can un-create or re-
create anything. It’s an empowering place to live.
Many people do not live in this level of personal responsibility. They are too busy
blaming other people, taking other people’s inventory, and looking outside
themselves for their happiness. Author Byron Katie calls this minding other
people’s business instead of your own.
Your choice to explain yourself teaches other people that it’s okay not to take
responsibility, and that it’s okay to mind your business instead of their own. Your
explaints actually perpetuate the pattern of irresponsibility!
6 – Explainers Play Small. It’s Time to Play Big.
Explainers are waiting for permission, or approval, or for people to “get” their
choices. So much unhappiness and depression comes from a lifetime of waiting for
these meaningless things. It’s the ultimate meaning of Playing Small.
Playing Big means you trust in yourself enough to make lots of mistakes – and keep
going anyway, no matter what people say to you. Playing Big means being clear, and
making decisions from your soul. And, by the way, your soul doesn’t feel the need to
explain anything!