This is a brief explanation of domestic violence, what it is, the damage it can do, and ways to help or get help. This has been created through the eyes of a survivor.

1. Domestic Violence:
Through the Eyes of a
Survivor
By: Cassie Walker

2. What is Domestic
Violence?
• Domestic Violence is defined as any
threatened, attempted, or completed
act of physical or sexual violence and
emotional abuse inflicted by one’s
partner.
• Domestic Violence is a pattern of
behavior used to establish power and
control over another person through
fear and intimidation, often including
the threat or use of violence.
• Other terms for domestic violence
include intimate partner violence,
battering, relationship abuse, spousal
abuse, or family violence.

3. Domestic
Violence
Statistics:
• #1 FACT: Most domestic violence
incidents are never reported.
• 1 in 4 women will experience
domestic violence during her lifetime.
• Men are victims of nearly 3 million
physical assaults in the USA.
• Domestic violence and abuse can
happen to anyone, regardless of
gender, race, ethnicity, sexual
orientation, income, or other factors.
• Women and men can be victims of
domestic violence

4. More Domestic Violence Statistics
• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or
beaten.
• Around the world, at least one in every three women
has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused
during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member
of her own family.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to
women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes
combined.
• Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness
some form of domestic violence annually.
• Everyday in the US, more than three women are
murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
• Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of
paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of
32,000 full-time jobs.
• Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic
violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives
than sons of nonviolent parents.

6. Myths about Domestic Violence….
And the Victim
• If a battered woman wanted to
leave, she could
• Battered women are
exaggerating; it’s not that
serious
• Domestic violence only occurs in
poor, urban areas
• Domestic violence doesn’t affect
many people
And the children who
witness it
• Children are too young to
understand
• Children won’t remember what
happened
• Kids should just move on from it
• Kids should just forget that it
ever happened.

7. Domestic violence; it
doesn’t just effect the
victim and the abuser,
the children see it too.

9. Emotional
Abuse is:
• Name calling
• Threats
• Humiliation
• Blame
• Insults or putdowns
• Isolation from friends and family
• Ridicule
• Intimidation
• Being ignored
• Control
• Pressure
• Jealousy

10. Physical
Abuse is:
• Putting a person in
danger, pushing,
slapping, hitting,
punching, kicking,
hair pulling, choking,
bringing, or using a
weapon or other
object to harm.

11. Sexual
Abuse Is:
• Pressuring someone into
having sex: this could include
touching, kissing, fondling,
oral sex, or penetration.
• Taking photos of someone in
a sexual situation when they
don’t want to be photographed
or are not aware of the
situation; including on a
mobile phone.
• Offering someone to another
person for sex.

12. The Cycles of Domestic Violence

13. Effects of Domestic Violence on the
Victim
During the course of any
situation where any kind of
abuse occurs, the victim will
likely receive physical injuries
and scars that will heal and fade
with time. Unfortunately, the
emotional scars, the ones we
may not always see, are the
ones that take the biggest toll
and rarely go away.
The battered victim lives in a
world of terror and even their
own home is a prison long after
the abuse has stopped. Domestic
violence is often associated with a
range of adverse metal health
conditions including depression,
anxiety, and post-traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD).

14. Symptoms of
Depression
Common side effects of
depression include:
• Sadness
• Lack of energy
• Apathy
• Sleep Problems
• Weight Changes
• Feelings of Worthlessness
• Suicidal thoughts

15. Symptoms of
Anxiety
Some of the common symptoms of anxiety
include:
• Always being scared
• Chest Pain
• Phobias
• Tension/Always tense
• Panic attacks
• Trembling
• Jumpy
• Emotional
• Constantly worry
• Restlessness
• Always stressed
• Constantly living in fear
• Frequent headaches

16. Signs and Symptoms of PTSD
• Efforts to avoid thoughts
• Avoids activities
• Poor memory
• Feeling detached
• Flashbacks
• Difficulty with sleep
• Irritability
• Outbursts of anger
• Hypervigilance
• Difficulty concentrating
• Exaggerated startle response
• Intrusive thoughts

17. What are the effects of domestic
violence on the children in the
home?• More than 3 million children witness
domestic violence in their homes every
year.
• Children who live in homes where there is
domestic violence also suffer abuse or
neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
• Children exposed to domestic violence at
home are more likely to have health
problems, including becoming sick more
often, having frequent headaches or
stomachaches, and being more tired and
lethargic.
• Children are more likely to intervene when
they witness severe violence against a
parent – which can place a child at great
risk for injury or even death.

18. Short term effects of domestic
violence on children:
• Generalized anxiety
• Sleeplessness and nightmares
• Difficulty concentrating
• High activity level
• Increased aggression or injury to others
• Emotional neediness
• Dependence
• Insecurity
• Withdraw
• Increased anxiety about being separated
from a parent
• Intense worry about their safety or the
safety of a parent

19. Long term effects of domestic
violence on children:
• Men who as children witnessed
their parents’ domestic violence
were twice as likely to abuse
their own wives than sons of
nonviolent parents.
• Physical health problems
(COPD, diabetes, hepatitis,
obesity, early death)
• Behavioral problems in
adolescence (juvenile
delinquency, alcohol/substance
abuse)
• Emotional difficulties in
adulthood (depression, anxiety
disorders, PTSD)

20. Why Stay?I’m too weak to
leave
It’s not
really that
bad
I’m too
afraid to
leave
Because I still
love him
He says he’s
sorry, it will
never happen
again
I probably did something
to deserve it…….
I can’t
afford to
leave
It’s better for our
children if I stay

21. Just Leaving Isn’t Always That Easy
• Many women do leave abusive partners,
more than 50%.
• Leaving a battering partner may be the
most dangerous time in that relationship.
Women are 70 times more likely to be
killed in the two weeks after leaving than
at any other time during the relationship.
• Social, economic, cultural, religious, or
legal issues often keep battered women in
an abusive relationship.
• Many women want the violence, not the
relationship to end. They may take many
steps to try to stop the abuse; leaving the
home may be their last resort.

22. How Can You Help A Friend or
Family Member
• ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEY ARE IN A VERY DIFFICULT AND SCARY SITUATION, BE
SUPPORTIVE AND LISTEN. Let them know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure
them that they are not alone and that there is help and support out there. It may be
difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know that you are available to help
whenever they may need it. What they need most is someone who will believe and
listen.
• BE NON-JUDGMENTAL. Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are
many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to
the relationship many times. Do not criticize their decisions or try to guilt them. They
will need your support even more during those times.
• IF THEY END THE RELATIONSHIP, CONTINUE TO BE SUPPORTIVE OF THEM. Even though
the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely
once it is over. They will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will
especially need your support at that time.
• ENCOURAGE THEM TO PARTICIPATE IN ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP
WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY. Support is critical and the more they feel supported by
people who care for them, the easier it will be for them to take the steps necessary to
get and stay safe away from their abusive partner. Remember that you can call the
hotline to find local support groups and information on staying safe.
• HELP THEM DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN. Check out our information on creating a safety
plan for wherever they are in their relationship — whether they’re choosing to stay,
preparing to leave, or have already left. http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-
friends-and-family/
• ENCOURAGE THEM TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO CAN PROVIDE HELP AND GUIDANCE. Find
a local domestic violence agency that provides counseling or support groups. Call us at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to get a referral to one of these programs near you. Offer to go
with them. If they have to go to the police, court or lawyer’s office, offer to go along for
moral support.
• REMEMBER THAT YOU CANNOT “RESCUE” THEM. Although it is difficult to see someone
you care about get hurt, ultimately they are the one who has to make the decisions
about what they want to do. It’s important for you to support them no matter what they
decide, and help them find a way to safety and peace.

23. Things NOT to say to a survivor….
• Just get over it…
• The past is the past, you just
need to move on….
• You need to forgive and forget
about it…
• What happened to you was not
that bad…
• It could be worse…
• You need to let it go….
• You’re strong, you’ll be fine….
• Life goes on….

24. If you are the victim….get out and
get help

25. Getting out made a difference for
me, it can for you too!!!
Me: Right after getting
away from my ex-
husband Me: Now….happy and safe

26. If you are viewing this and
you are in a situation of
domestic violence or know
someone who is, please do
whatever possible to get
help and get out. I was
lucky to get out when I did
and to get out alive, not
everyone in a domestic
violence situation is as
lucky as I was.
From a Survivor

28. Works Cited
• Domestic Violence: Statistics and Facts. Safe Horizon. Viewed April 22, 2016 from
http://www.safehorizon.org/page/domestic-violence-statistics--facts-52.html
• Domestic Violence Victims. North Carolina Department of Justice. Viewed on April 29,
2016 from http://www.ncdoj.gov/Help-for-victims/Domestic-violence-victims.aspx
• How Can You Help a Friend or Family Member. The National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Viewed April 29, 2016 from http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/
• Myths and Facts about Domestic Violence. Domestic Violence Intervention Program.
Viewed on April 22, 2016 from http://www.dvipiowa.org/myths-facts-about-domestic-
violence/