Once Upon a time, there was a man named Ben Cartwright, and he had a dream
to be a famous horse trainer, build a ranch empire, and raise an upstanding family,
Well two out of three ain’t bad. Quick recap, this is an Uglacy, it’s a legacy striving
to get ugly in 10 generations or less. Legacies are sim playing without cheats, rules
can be found by looking up Pinstar. Ben’s family is currently on generation 2, so you
might want to read the prior chapters first, or not, your choice…
Ben had a set of twins, there was Hoss Cartwright, who like his father wants to
be a great horseman. Hoss loves the outdoors, is a disciplined snob, and an
equestrian. All he wants to do is ride horses in his brand new pink starred saddle…
Why this saddle seems to be the default choice of EA is beyond me, but moving on…
Ben’s daughter is Victoria Cartwright, who is insane, athletic, lucky, and a computer
“How long do I have to sit on this creature?”
Just long enough for me to snap a photo. Because her upbringing has sucked so
badly, I have been unable to choose the family trait, equestrian for her as of yet.
And lastly, was Little Joe Cartwright, who is artistic, and terribly neglected.
Immediately following his birth, Ben and his wife, Dorothy, fled town on a
“vacation” and left the teen siblings to raise him.
“It’s ok, I have BoBo.”
BoBo was probably the only reason social services didn’t take this kid.
Speaking of Ben’s lovely wife…
“I like cookies, do you like cookies?”
She has the hots for this man maid, and rolls wants like skinny dipping with
Yeah, right, Dorothy. Dream on.
Because Dorothy and Ben were practically non-existent for Little Joe’s
upbringing, they come back just in time to see him become a child.
And he is the first Cartwright child to grow up well, I could have actually
picked his trait, if this wasn’t a legacy. He grew up well probably because they
weren’t around. (That and the swing, my secret baby weapon of choice).
“What? I’m totally buffed.”
Little Joe gets excitable as a trait. Well isn’t that special?
I thought (hoped) that Dorothy’s mothering skills would improve in time, but
she seems to hate her young.
“Why do you live here again?!”
“I’m your SON!”
Her favorite pastime is running up behind the kids and scaring the
beejeebies out of them.
Why her relationship with her kids is tanking is beyond me *rolls eyes*.
The first day of school, and Little Joe misses the bus.
“What?! I figured no one would notice if I went to school. They never noticed me
Meanwhile, Victoria begins the hunt for an ugly spouse.
Ooh, ugly looking derelict at 10:00!
Sam Robles, you hunka, hunka of ugly, you. Bonaza!!!
I leave Victoria on free will to chat him up and the next thing I know she’s
telling him ghost stories.
“Deeep within the crypt, hidden was the mummy of death, muhahaha…”
That was when I noticed that instead of jumping in the pool, everyone was swimming
in the fountain instead… but hey, that’s ok, right? So I leave Victoria keep telling her
lame ghost stories.
“Did you know that Samara Uglacy became a criminal?”
“Hee, hee you don’t say. And she got black goggles, awesome!”
Meanwhile, back to the idiot committee swimming in the
“Oh my, I’m tired…”
“So I am, where’s the ladder to the pool?”
Victoria, I think you better go…
“Why, I’m taking an evening swim.”
In your formal wear? Gads. Well I think we need to get off this lot, pronto.
There’s a bit of a problem.
Great, the locals are drowning in the fountain. Hopefully they will re-set
once we leave the lot, or we’re have a new graveyard where the community
pool use to be.
“How dare you ask me for homework help?!”
“But Pa, I just don’t understand them number things.”
“Fools, the lot of them. Why if I could just rob the Appaloosa Plains First
National Bank, we’d be set for life! Must be a way I could tunnel my
way across town… muhaha.”
Side note: Love interest (Women) on Bonanza or Big Valley were either criminals or shot in the
end. You would think the town would catch on to this and never get engaged to a Cartwright or
Barkley. It was the kiss of death.
“It’s ok BoBo. I can bring you to life, I know I can! I don’t need this stupid
By the way, the potion to turn the imaginary friend is a big pain in the butt. It
took for flipping ever!!!
Victoria’s lifetime want is to adopt 6 pets, so we start out with Bella, a cute,
little bulldog who is hydrophobic.
“Be a good doggie, or I’ll squirt you with the hose, hee, hee, hee.”
Ben wanders aimlessly at night in his old age, but usually ends up
loving on Athena. She is now old as the hills, and I expect the grim
reaper any day.
Speaking of old…
“What was that?”
I said, speaking of old…
“I can’t hear you, you need to speak up!”
“MY mood sucks and my homework ain’t done, I don’t see the point to this. And
aren’t there ever any other kids on this bus? What happened to them?”
They didn’t do their homework.
“NO Bobo, I do not want to socialize anymore. Geesh, you’re so clingy.
I’m trying to get a potion here to turn you real.”
“Just one hug, Little Joe.”
“Happy Birthday, Little Joe!!!”
“I’d like to thank my mother, and my father, for making this possible, and my
brother and my sister, for actually raising me, and Bobo, for keeping me
from social isolation…”
“Just blow out the dang candles, kid, we ain’t got all day!”
“Well that was a let down.”
You’re telling me, I was hoping for more ugly then that. Little Joe here is artistic,
excitable, disciplined, and a hopeless romantic. He wants to be the Ark Builder and
have 2 cats, 2 dogs, birds, lizards, turtles, rodents, snakes, butterflies, and beetles.
And he likes hot pink. Oh boy. Have we got the perfect saddle for you.
But that’s not all, are we ready for some more birthday fun!”
Also growing up today, Hoss and Victoria, step right up!
“Do we have to?”
You get free cake!
“Hmmm, what should I wish for?”
Come on Hoss, sometime today.
Hoss grows up wearing a western ensemble he styled himself. He randomly
gets one more trait, ‘great kisser’ to add to his already amazing personality.
“That’s right ladies, the Hoss man is in the house.”
He looks like daddy and therefore is too cute to win the heirship. Sorry Hoss.
Not to be outdone, Victoria sparkles with the Birthday fairy dust.
Note her handsome, soon to be husband in the midst, laughing
Victoria finally allows me to choose one family trait for her, so we add
the equestrian trait.
“Hmmf, now I can finally like riding horses.”
And Victoria looks the most…erm, physically challenged, so she will take the
Seriously, dude, you do not have any room to talk.
Little Joe gets right to work working on Bobo’s potion…
Bobo patiently waits. Stalking Little Joe the whole time, to the point that Little Joe
wants to be enemies with Bobo. These imaginary friends get a bit creepy as time
goes on. Poor Joe can’t even take a bath in peace.
Little Joe works in his meth lab everyday, working on that special potion for BoBo
I have him drink some of them but they really don’t seem to do all that much.
He’s become a regular potion junkie.
Victoria works on her soon to be husband… Sam Robles. Only there’s one problem.
“I love food, lots of food. My wife’s a great cook.”
Oh Twallan’s Mod, what have you done to me?
That’s right, Sam married Janette Fox-Robles, who I think is possibly
related to him, and the illegitimate child of Gage Uglacy. Oh boy,
on the plus side, they will throw some ugly babies, but on the negative side,
this makes courting him a lot harder.
So we need a Plan B. Meet the town vampire.
Only he’s ugly, which is against everything in the vampire
Wasting no time, Victoria invites him over to be “friends”.
She immediately puts all the moves on him, we need to get an ugly baby going here.
“Oh finally, an ugly man I can call my own!!!”
“Erm what? Sorry darling, but I’m married. I just came over here because I figured
you would make a good midnight snack.”
“Married?! Why are all the ugly guys taken?!”
“Well, because we are in demand…wait, did you say ugly?”
After literal hours of seducing Mr. Faithful Vampire, who should stroll by
just in time to ruin the “relax ” option.
“La dee la dee, dum, anyone want a hug?”
Grrrrrr. Bobo you are so on my crap list right now.
“Bobo knows what you did… oh Bobo is so disappointed.”
“Beat it clown face. An heir’s got to do what an heir’s got to do.”
By the way, we have no pool, Victoria’s choice of outfits are her own, and I’ve given up
and leave her pick her misfit outfits. If she wants to sleep in a bikini, well who am I to
stifle her … insanity.
“Hi, Sam, yes, well I was wondering if you could come by this evening, you know,
I could just use a friend to talk to. No, no, just leave the wife at home. I need to see you
So he brings his kid! Oh for the love of boolprop, and that shirt, don’t go all out there Sam.
Pickings are slim in this town, I’m telling you.
“What are these flowers for?”
“Because we’re friends, Sam. Can’t a friend give another friend flowers?”
“Well, gee, I guess so.”
“Oh Sam, what would I do without a good friend like you.”
“Actually I barely know you… but okay, I guess a hug is
“Wow, sometimes I look at the stars, and think what am I doing here? What’s my purpose,
who am I? What happens when we die? Is there life out there?”
“Yeah, yeah, all deep thoughts there, Sam. Want to ditch the toddler and check out my
“I’m not getting it, you want me to come over here to see your
“I’m like the village bicycle, Sam.”
“You don’t look like a bicycle. Does the village have a bicycle?”
“Sam, do I have to spell this out for you?!”
Timing is everything with the Sims… and timing always sucks for me!
Right when Sam might have been getting the message…
“Daddy, oh nooo, my daddy just dropped dead.”
Ben gets even with me, screwing up Victoria’s night of seduction. It’s not like she’s going to
be in the mood now.
“Well, I guess I’m not getting all those creativity points
“Erm, can you get your horse out of my way, here… “
Moe makes a last ditch attempt to save Ben from the Grim Reaper.
“Ben, oh Ben. What am I going to do without you.”
Dorothy does take it quite hard and runs out to the barn and hangs out with the
horses, maybe to be closer to Ben. Or steal their apples, it is Dorothy after all.
Ben Cartwright, he built the Ponderosa, achieved his lifetime want, topping the
horse career, and left a bunch of money and his crazy family behind. All in all, a decent sim.
Who knocked that trash can over and ruined my house view! Grrr.
Oddly enough, Athena has outlived Ben, and she takes it the hardest, refusing to eat.
Nothing we do seems to improve her mood. She must be 180 in horse years.
“And you are sure this is safe, Master Joe?”
“Just drink it Bobo, no one can handle your creepiness anymore.”
“Woah, this is some good stuff.”
“Yeah, well I haven’t been working in that lab since I was eight years old for nothing.”
Ok, so maybe the creepy factor is still there. I was hoping Bobo would be
really ugly, but from what I’ve seen of Imaginary Friends that turn real,
they are usually good looking. So I didn’t really bank on that.
Life has to go on, and finally Victoria is able to seduce Sam, never mind
that he is nearly 80 years old now and even uglier. Maybe she just misses daddy. Ick.
Victoria also has a brief fling with Count Ugly.
“Take it in, sweetheart, this is the way a real vampire
“Can you stop with that walk, please.”
“Great, he’s a hairy vampire too, this is just getting better and better.”
You don’t say…
Not like she’s sleeping with two married men.
Meanwhile, Hoss finally decides to move out on his own.
“Well I don’t want to be here when my sister starts popping babies
I give Bobo a new look, because we need a farm hand.
Apparently, Count Ugly felt it was his duty to make Bobo feel better.
“It’s okay that you’re different. Look at me, I was different too, and see how
awesome I am now.”
“You’re making me feel worse, dude.”
“Victoria! You’re pregnant!”
“Yeah, right, like you didn’t see that one coming.”
“Whose the daddy?!”
That’s a good question.
“Whose your daddy, huh kiddo… is it Count Ugly, or Sam the Hobbit?”
“Stop it Joe. You’re just going to have to wait till the next chapter, like everyone else.”
Say what?! Well that bites.
Until next time, happy simming!
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