There is an established simple 4-step framework that can help you speak up without getting too emotional or confusing. This method gets you results. And it's really simple. Learn more about how to speak up and be more assertive without being rude at: https://www.assertiveway.com

1. The Assertive Script
That will forever change your hard conversations
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2. You will …
šReveal the assertive SCRIPT
šEffectively implement each part of the SCRIPT
šApply the SCRIPT to 3 examples

3. There is a formula to help you express
yourself effectively
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4. And to increase the chances of success…
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5. Without creating major resentment…
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6. It is the safest path to assertive action…
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7. It gives you a step by step assertive
conversation construct guide when…
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8. You prepare in advance
for a difficult conversation OR
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9. You are caught in the moment with a
challenging & emotional situation…
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10. …Preventing you from speaking
through anger instead of reason
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11. Use the SCRIPT to…
Ask for something
Give feedback
Deal with conflict
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12. DESC
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13. DESC
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Method developed by Cognitive Psychologist
Prof. Gordon H. Bower & Sharon Anthony Bower

14. DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
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15. Describe the situation
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D
Describe escribe

16. Be short, factual, non-judgmental and use
”I” statement
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D
Describe escribe

17. Focus on the behavior not the person or intent
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D
Describe escribe

18. Instead of
“You’re inconsiderate and non-dependable”
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D
Describe escribe

19. Say “I’ve noticed you delivered the report
past the deadline and it still contains errors”
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D
Describe escribe

20. Express how you feel about the situation
and implications of it
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E
Express xpress

21. Use ”I” statements instead of “you” language
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E
Express xpress

22. Instead of “You make me look bad”
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E
Express xpress

23. Try “I feel overwhelmed when I don’t have
enough time to work on it”
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E
Express xpress

24. Specify your ask, make your request
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S
Specify pecify

25. Ask for what you want or behavior change,
be to the point and specific
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S
Specify pecify

26. Instead of “Could you stop being late
all the time?”
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S
Specify pecify

27. Say “Could you send me the report 3 days
ahead of the deadline?”
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S
Specify pecify

28. Explain the consequences of action and
negotiate to an agreement
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C
Conclude onclude

29. The consequences can be your confidence,
productivity, quality, performance review, etc
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C
Conclude onclude

30. And ask for agreement or negotiate an
alternative
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C
Conclude onclude

31. For example “That way we can deliver on
time” or “I’d feel less overwhelmed”
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C
Conclude onclude

32. And the agreement
“Does that work for you?” or “Is that ok?”
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C
Conclude onclude

33. DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
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The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement

34. SCRIPT Examples for…
Ask for something
Give feedback
Deal with conflict
AssertiveWay.com

35. AssertiveWay.com
Ask to take vacation time

36. AssertiveWay.com
Ask to take vacation time
• You are the employee talking to your boss
• You want to take time off in 4 weeks to travel
with your family when the kids are off from
school
• It is important for you to spend quality time
with your family

37. DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement
Ask to take vacation time

38. Describe
• “I still have vacation days I’d like to
use to travel with my family”
Express
• “It is important for me to spend quality
time with them and that is when the
kids are off from school"
Specify
• “I’d like to take time off 4 weeks from
now. I can work with Sara to cover my
workload.”
Conclude
• “That way my kids don’t have to miss
school. Is that ok with you?”
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Ask to take
vacation time

39. Give constructive feedback
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40. Give constructive feedback
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• You are the boss
• Employee sends several
emails that are more than 5
paragraphs long
• You think they are too long

41. Give constructive feedback
DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement

42. Describe
• “I’ve observed several of your emails
are more than 5 paragraphs long.
Have you noticed that?”
Express
• “I believe the long emails are quite
difficult for partners to understand."
Specify
• “I’d like you to keep emails to max 3
paragraphs long. If you have a longer
topic to share, I suggest a phone
call.”
Conclude
• “That way we can increase partner
engagement. Can you do that?”
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Get constructive
feedback

43. Dealing with conflict
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44. Dealing with conflict
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• In the last 3 team meetings
• A colleague interrupts you
often
• You get upset when you
are interrupted

45. Dealing with conflict
DESC
Describe Express Specify Conclude
AssertiveWay.com
The Situation
& Behaviors
Observed
Your feelings
& the
problem
Your
Request
With
consequences
& agreement

46. Describe
• “I’ve noticed that in the last 3 team
meetings that you’ve interrupted me
when I was sharing a thought.”
Express
• “I got upset because I miss the
opportunity to contribute & be
noticed."
Specific ask
• “Could you allow me to complete my
perspective before speaking up in
team meetings?.”
Conclude
• “That way we can work more
effectively together.”
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Dealing with conflict