Moms: Faking it While Freaking Out
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From AbelsonTaylor’s Health, Lies, and Motherhood anthropologic study validated by 400 moms, and presented at the Marketing 2 Moms Conference Being a mom comes with unimaginable joy, right? Well, yes. But unexpected are those unfathomable moments of sheer freak-out. She’s responsible for the health, well-being, and moral grounding of another human so vulnerability comes with the territory. And when it comes to her kid’s health and wellness, those feelings of vulnerability can reach DEFCON level 1. In fact, there’s a direct correlation between her kid’s health and wellness and her perceived job performance. These vulnerabilities combined with the ever-present mom judgment can put pressure on her to get it just right. It’s not enough to just be good at this job; she has to appear to be good at it too, even by faking it. This is where health and wellness brands are uniquely positioned to help her and gain her loyalty in a way that no other category can, but the path to getting there isn’t what you’d expect.
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Moms: Faking it While Freaking Out
- 1. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Moms: Faking It While Freaked Out From the AbelsonTaylor Health, Lies and Motherhood study
- 2. What EXACTLY do we mean by Faking It? Lies Health and Wellness Motherhood Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 2
- 3. Faking it fāk/ ing [it] – Verb (1): To show an enhanced version of reality. Withhold flaws. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 3
- 4. Meet Amy NOT PROCESSED Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 4
- 5. The reality? She’s faking it because she’s completely freaked Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. out… 5
- 6. Meet the REAL Amy Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. COOKIES BLEACH
- 7. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. It’s actually all our fault Why is she REALLY freaked out and faking it?
- 8. The state of the union in motherhood Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Judged By all the world’s watchful eyes 8 Freaked-out state of mind Info overload Excessive noise, varying perspectives, amazing sea of choice Self-inflicted pressure Anxiety at an all-time high Idealized Held to impossible standards
- 9. And what’s worse…we aren’t connecting with her Despite the fact that mothers are one of the most researched groups of consumers Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 9 We aren’t connecti ng
- 10. 3 out of 4 Moms feel like marketers and advertisers don’t understand what it’s really like to be them The Mom Complex, http://www.thundertech.com/media/documents/thundertech-mobile-mom-report.pdf. Trillion Dollar Moms by Maria T. Bailey & Bonnie Worthy Ulman, http://m2moms.com/fast_facts.php. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 10
- 11. Why is it so hard to understand Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. mom? IT ISN’T 11
- 12. Get her to unintentionally reveal herself Exploring her natural habitat Peeking in her cupboards Confidential Observing Confidential and and property property of of AbelsonTaylor. AbelsonTaylor. her daily life Proprietary Proprietary and and nontransferable. nontransferable. Not Not for for dissemination. dissemination. Interacting with her
- 13. That’s when the TRUTH reveals itself Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination.
- 14. Our research is as untraditional as it gets… It’s Anthropologic Mock Baby showers Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 14 Quant validated So you know we aren’t lying In-home Inspections Mom-over Sleepover H&W Shop-a-long
- 15. Our nontraditional approach led to the real pressure point Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. of motherhood 15
- 16. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. The need to get it just right Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination.
- 17. Her child’s health and wellness is a reflection of her job performance Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination.
- 18. The stronger moms feel about doing a good job, the stronger they feel about Health and Wellness Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 18 My Kid’s health and wellness 79% correlation My performance as a mom
- 19. If you could guarantee your child ONE thing in life, what would it be? Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 19 35% Happiness 30% Health Let’s put it in perspective
- 20. That may seem obvious, until you see what mom is willing to forgo Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 20
- 21. What is mom willing to forgo? 22% Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 6% 21 Strong morals and values Financial security 5% Self-confidence
- 22. As long as they’re healthy her kids can grow up to be insecure, broke, BUTTHEADS Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination.
- 23. Health and Wellness Opportunity H&W brands The freaked-out vulnerable mom Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 23 The confident self-assured mom You are here 82% feel that brands can help her do a better job
- 24. Health and Wellness brands are uniquely poised to help mom achieve superior mom performance Confidential Confidential and and property property of AbelsonTaylor. of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary Proprietary and and nontransferable. nontransferable. Not Not for for dissemination. dissemination.
- 25. Freaked out [freek-out] – Verb (1): To lose one’s self due to extreme fear or anxiety. A heightened emotional and vulnerable state. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Istock 38006696 25
- 26. Vulnerabilities 94 % motherhood firsts = times of high vulnerability Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 26 8 in 10 vulnerability even as their role of mom evolves over time are ever present
- 27. Breast-feeding Succeeding means overcoming Getting sick Daycare Why is my baby crying? Judgment School Siblings Vaccines Solid foods Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. 27 Sitters Puberty Learning to drive Pediatricia n Back to work The sex talk Off to college When my baby has a baby Having patience Injuries Behavior Am I a role model? Sleep
- 28. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Intense connection Emotional currency for future choices 28 Her vulnerabilities Your brand’s unique H&W solution A special kind of brand loyalty
- 30. You have the power to avoid brand promiscuity ! Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination. Confidential and property of AbelsonTaylor. Proprietary and nontransferable. Not for dissemination.
Editor's Notes
- Okay. So I’m a liar. But guess what. So are you. And you. And you. Every one of us in this room today is a liar. The average person tells at least one lie EVERY ten minutes. Sounds like we are all a bunch of morally bankrupt, awful people doesn’t it? Nope. Not the case. Lying is incredibly human. It’s as human a trait as breathing. As natural as laughing or crying. We lie. Half-truths, embellishments, enhancements, exaggerations….the little white lies that don’t hurt anyone. Why do we do it? Perhaps it’s to save face. Stave off embarrassment to protect ourselves or those we love. Maybe it’s to make others feel good, or make ourselves feel even better about ourselves. Or maybe to gain respect. Lying is a basic human protection mechanism. Health & Wellness takes that phenomenon into overdrive. How many of you upon that dentist check-up tell the Dentist, “yes, I floss and brush twice a day”….when the reality is that you’re only flossing the teeth visible to the public…yes, front only doesn’t count people! Now let’s layer on Motherhood. Pause for a second. Responsible for the health and wellness of another little human being…with the world’s watchful eyes upon you. That’s a pretty heavy cocktail for fudging the truth just a little folks. She’s got to be seen as good at that job. Even if that means faking it here or there. So this is what we mean by faking it
- Let me put this into context Meet Amy – when asked about her approach to health when it comes to her child, Brigid tells us: “She hates processed foods, everything she buys is organic or all-natural. She looks for foods with only the healthiest ingredients. Chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs are especially despised. They aren’t healthy or moral because they advertise to kids, not her. She only buys organic laundry detergents and cleaners, like 7th Generations, remember the kid who licks the table and floor (yep, that’s Brigid’s son), she wants only the safest of chemicals to be ingested. She is vigilant about what goes in and on her son.” Listening to this, I could practically see the angel wings sprouting from her.
- So let’s go back to Amy. Being in her house gave some distinct benefits. The ability to snoop around told us a bit of different story. When we opened her pantry, yes, there was Annie’s and in her laundry room we found some 7th Generation. But nestled throughout were several other little sinners. Fruit snacks, non-organic cookies and cheese crackers, and Bleach. I bet her son’s tongue was clean as a whistle. And as we were snooping her 2 year old walks in holding a large bag of cool ranch tortilla chips. Is Amy a crappy mom? No. She’s a real mom!
- I know I’m being hard on us today—started off by calling us liars…but now I’m adding to it….the “collective” we did this to her.
- Idealization: It’s a little digging reveals it’s a microtrend. We put sometimes ridiculous and unattainable images in front of her. I love Beyonce’s song “I woke up like this”, but let me tell you….know else woke up like that. And moms are taking a stand with blogs, and books and groups that help moms embrace their imperfections. Judged: Every expert in the world things they know more about raising your child than you. The Onion recently wrote a spook article entitled “New Study finds a link between breastfeeding and always knowing what’s right for everyone”. Information Overload: so many different studies on what’s good or bad. Conflicting reports….so many different products for different things and benefits….it’s so much for her to cycle through. And while those external stressors exist to freak her out….there is great self-inflicted pressures. After all, this is the most important job in the universe.
- So we know all of this right? So why aren’t we connecting with her? She controls $2.1 Trillion in spending every year and is the most researched consumer in the world. But we still are not connecting with her. Why?
- Simply put, our method is limiting us
- Think about it…you wouldn’t learn much from observing animals in a zoo, you need to observe them in their natural habitat. Same is true for moms.
- Think about it…you wouldn’t learn much from observing animals in a zoo, you need to observe them in their natural habitat. Same is true for moms.
- Probably like many of you, we’ve been doing this “behind the glass research tango” for quite some time. Listening to moms in a 1:1 or focus group setting for years, after a while we found ourselves rolling our eyes at some of her answers and questioning if she’s really telling the truth or just some version of it. Our conclusion…she’s lying, probably unknowingly, either to themselves or to avoid judgment so they can present themselves in the best possible light. We eventually started to wonder, how many brand strategies have been built off of deception? Have we done that? Have you? So, we scratched that methodology off our list of possibilities and took a robust anthropologic approach. Most notable: We did mock baby showers – where women invited their closest friends to hold a “mock shower” where they gave advice and brought baby gifts of the products that have changed their lives H&W shop along – where we got to shop along side moms as she picked H&W brands off the shelves and her process to purchasing Mom Sleep over – where they spent a night thinking about their brand loyalties In-home inspections – where we got to snoop and call them on some of their bluffs. And then we quant validated many of our findings with a survey of 400 moms.
- Our untraditional approach led to the real pressure point of motherhood – richer and more interesting insights.
- The need to get it just right. In fact, our method became one of our biggest findings. Show of hands…how many moms in the audience can remember a recent crappy mom moment they’ve had? Look around…we all have them. I found my 1 –year old eating wood chips at the park last week. That was just 1 of lots of other examples. And we are our harshest critics. There’s an immense amount of guilt when we can’t get this #1 job – being a mother – just right. So how does her kids H&W fit in to this need to get it just right?
- Well simply put, her child’s H & W is the ultimate litmus test of her job performance.
- We found that there is a 78% correlation between her perceived job performance and how healthy and well her kids are. Let me say that again, there’s a 78% correlation between her job performance and her kids H&W. Holy Shnikey. It’s no wonder we are some stressed out motha’s. It’s a major task to keep these little petri dishes healthy and well. And not just healthy in the physical aspect, but mental and emotional as well.
- But, let’s put this into perspective. We asked mothers if you could guarantee your child ONE thing in life, what would it be? Well given what we just talked about it’s no surprise that happiness and health rank at the top of the list. Seems obvious, right?
- Seems obvious, right? Yes, until you see what mom is willing to forgo to grant her child mental and physical health and wellness.
- Health and happiness fall above such things as strong morals and values, financial security, and self-confidence.
- Translation: Her kids can grow up to be insecure, broke, BUTTHEADS, as long as they’re healthy and happy. If that doesn’t underscore the weight that mom puts on health, I don’t know what does.
- So let’s map this out. Moms start here…a freaked out vulnerable woman trying to figure out how to no screw-up her child. Her goal: to become confident and self-assured. At the end of the day she not only wants to feel like she’s got this mom job down, but she wants others to see that as well. So as we look at how we can bridge this gap between vulnerability and confidence, H&W brands have a big opportunity . In fact, 82% of moms feel that brands can help her do a better job. It seems almost passé to characterize her vulnerability as an opportunity. But in truth (remember we aren’t a fan of liars), moms are looking for help and H&W brands are uniquely poised to help her achieve superior mom performance.
- But in truth (remember we aren’t a fan of liars), moms are looking for help and H&W brands are uniquely poised to help her achieve superior mom performance. It seems like a win-win to me…moms vulnerability gives opportunity for H&W brands, while these brands offer her something far superior…a tool to help her feel like the confident mom she is!
- So when we say a freaked-out mom, we aren’t talking about a mom going ape-shit on her kids for spilling a jumbo bin of candy on the floor at the grocery store (I may or may not be talking about myself here), we are actually referring to her vulnerabilities as a mom.
- So let’s dig into these vulnerabilities a bit. It’s no surprise that 94% of mother’s surveyed say that motherhood firsts are a time of high vulnerability. But low and behold, just when she’s mastered one vulnerable moment, another shit-show is just around the corner. Because 8 in 10 moms say that there’s some level of vulnerability even as her role of mom evolves over time. Vulnerabilities are ever-present.
- These vulnerabilities span time and categories. These are just a few examples of what we heard from mothers of all kinds (stay-at-home, working, new moms, veteran moms, etc.) but there are lots of others. In fact, we asked open-endedly about moms vulnerabilities and we got 353 different articulations of vulnerabilities, many completely distinct from one another. While they may happen with more frequency early in motherhood, the continue well into her journey, with some moms even stating that the intensity of their vulnerability is higher with some of the later motherhood moments, things like sending their child off to school, teaching them to drive, puberty and the sex talk and even when their baby has a baby. Vulnerabilities are an endless, staple of motherhood. They are also part of what makes it great, because succeeding and overcoming these vulnerabilities in this amazing job is the BEST feeling in the world. Let me put this into context for you…
- At the end of the day, why are these vulnerabilities so important? If you are able to identify the most meaningful vulnerabilities and solve for them with your unique H&W solution, simply put, you get a very special kind of brand loyalty. You aren’t just creating an advocate for your brand, it’s actually much bigger than that. You are helping mom feel like she’s got this mom job down. The positive memories that you can create by doing that serves as emotional currency for future choices. It’s an intense connection that transcends function!
- When we began our discussions with Dawn on her most preferred brands, she proudly told us that she has none. She shops around based on price alone and will buy whatever is on sale. She was a self-proclaimed brand slut – a marketer’s worst nightmare. As it turns out, Dawn is staunchly loyal to more than one brand. She actually cried when she told us about one in particular, Medela – her breast pump. This is Dawn vulnerable story…
- Get to the truth…her real vulnerabilities, solve for them by putting mom first! And with that you will tame those dreaded brand sluts. You will gain the power to prevent brand promiscuity!! Don’t build your brand strategies off of a deception. You don’t need to. Do the right research that’s going to get you to the right vulnerabilities that your H& W brand can solve for in a way that no other category of brands can do quite the same.