Tami Gaines discusses the importance of building relationships in recruiting. She emphasizes developing a "warrior mindset" by giving 100% effort at all times, acting despite fear, and never giving up. She also stresses the importance of three relationships: with yourself through positive self-talk and discipline, with the business by committing for the long-term, and with others by listening to understand their needs and build rapport. She shares a story of helping a struggling mother on a flight and potentially gaining a new friend and future customer through building a relationship.

1. Tami Gaines on Team Building
Male: I really love hearing from Tami Gaines. Please, welcome Tami Gaines coming
up.
Tami: So, when Jim and Andrew gave me a call to ask me if I would do this training I
was immediately humbled, and I was immediately honored, and I was
immediately panicked, because it required me to take a hard good look at
why I, what he called the great recruiter. And you know, the funny thing is
when he first said you had sponsored 20 people last year, I was like really,
like who keeps track of those things? For me, it’s about building
relationships. I’ve had it said, we’ve heard leaders here on stage they say that
recruiting is not an event, it’s a process. Right? Have you heard that? I think
Elizabeth said it and I’ve heard Frank say it. Everybody says recruiting is a
process. But I would take it one step further and I would say that recruiting is
a journey. And it’s a journey to change lives. And on that journey it’s really
important that you be committed to changing as many lives as you can so you
can make as much money as you can and have huge impact. Does that make
sense?
Audience: Yes.
So what I want to talk to you today is really about the philosophy of
recruiting, there’s no magic words. We heard some of the speakers say
there’s no magic words, there’s no magic bullet, you can’t take a pill. I think
you just have to have the right mindset about recruiting when you go out and
do it. So for me you know, one thing that I’ve developed is what I call a
warrior mindset. A warrior mindset when it comes to recruiting. And it’s one
of the best things that is duplicated on my team is that I have a bunch of
warriors on my team when it comes to recruiting and taking action. So what
do I mean by warrior? Three things.
First of all, warriors do everything at a 100% all the time anywhere. I’m
going to say that again. Warriors do things at a 100% all the time anywhere.
So if you’re not willing to do a 100% when it comes to changing lives then
you probably shouldn’t do it. Right, everyone’s like “she’s so hard core.” So
that’s the first thing.
The second thing is that warriors act in spite of fear. And I find that most
people do not talk to people about the business they don’t bring it up because
they are afraid. But taking action in spite of fear is usually what manages and
helps control the fear. So just the act of talking to people and just the act of

2. becoming really great at building relationships is going to make the fear go
away.
The last thing I would say about being a warrior is that you never ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever give up. So, no matter how many no’s you get, no matter
how many people get started and quit. No matter how much drama shows up
on your team, you never give up. Warriors keep going until they get what
they want. So with that said, with that mindset, I would say that for me
recruiting is just about building relationships with people. It’s just
relationships. And then it’s making a relation, it’s making a commitment to
making sure that relationship stays healthy and nurtured and supported so it
can grow. Right, just like any other relationship you have in your life.
So for me with the business, there’s really three relationships that we are
talking about. The first relationship is the relationship with yourself. Your
second relationship is your relationship with the business, and the third
relationship is your relationship with others. And I will tell you that none of
them will work unless all of them are working. So your relationship with
yourself is, really it comes down to a couple of things. I think the first thing is
your self-talk. So, many people will get punched in the face if they talk to a
stranger the way they talk to themselves. Right, would you agree? So it’s
really important that you check yourself before you go out and start talking
to people. You know, am I being kind to myself? Am I saying supportive
things? If the answer is ‘no’ you’re not ready to go out and talk to anybody.
Stay home and have an attitude adjustment. So self-talk is critically
important.
The other thing that I’ve learned from my length of time in the business and
being mentored by people like Elizabeth and by Frank is that you have to pay
the price for success upfront. You can’t sit back and wait for it to happen, you
pay for it upfront. It’s like a bank, you have to keep making deposits and
deposits and deposits and finally you can make a withdrawal. So when I say
you have to pay the price upfront, part of that price is getting out of your
comfort zone. Part of the price is literally like buying tickets is paying the
price. So you have to be willing to pay the price. And again if you’re not
willing to do that you’re not going to get very far from a recruiting
standpoint.
The last thing is something, Frank; I’m totally ripping this off from you so I
hope I don’t mess it up. But, are you disciplined? Are you disciplined? Being a
great recruiter is about follow through which Miguel talked about this

3. morning but it’s about being disciplined. And Frank said in his seminar, I
went to his seminar a few months ago. Being disciplined is identifying action
that’s giving you the results that you want. And then making a conscious
choice to repeat that action over and over and over again until you get what
you want. Was that close? Okay. He’s like that’s enough. That’s pretty good.
So being disciplined, so those are the couple of things about having a
relationship with yourself and I think those are integral to your success with
recruiting.
Now, the next thing I mentioned was your relationship with Market America.
So we all have, we think we have a good relationship because we are here
right? But your relationship with Market America is recognizing a couple of
things. One is that you must commit to this business for a long time, which I
think most people don’t realize. It says two to three year plan but if it takes
four to six years or seven years like who really cares? As long as you get what
you want. So for me, my success, to me it was just last year. So it took me nine
years before I felt like I was successful. But I’m still not there; I’m still
working towards it. But if you think about a farmer, a farmer plants seeds
then has to wait for an entire season for them to bloom. Right, that’s exactly
what we have to do and that’s exactly what your relationships are when you
recruit. You have to plant seeds of good relationships and weed and nurture
them and water them and give them sun and give them light and give them
love and then eventually they will bloom, these relationships. And by the way
if they bloom into business partners, great. If they bloom into customers,
fantastic. If they bloom into nothing but very good friends, that’s a big one
also.
So I think we have to be very detached from the outcome of these
relationships. We are all hell bent on. . . Oh excuse me. Sorry. We are all very
focused on getting as many business partners into the business as we can but
the fact is if we get detachment from the outcome, your relationship building
will be a lot stronger. Right, you have no agenda.
So, the last piece is your relationship with other people. This is the result of
the first two relationships. So your relationship with other people begins by
recognizing that your product in this business is people. That is your main
product. People want to feel important. People want to feel listened to.
People want to feel loved. That is your only goal. We talk about making
connections is to make people feel that way. People build rapport and they
build relationships very quickly with people they can relate to.

4. So to me this is, when we talk about connections, it’s all about relatability. So,
I’ve heard people say, don’t be weird. Just be yourself. Like be somebody that
people can relate to. So, how do you figure out how you connect with
someone who you’ve met ten seconds ago? You become a great listener.
Becoming a really effective listener and you’re listening for somebody’s pain,
and that pain is an opportunity for you to solve problems. And the more
problems you solve the more lives you change and that’s the journey we’re
on, right? So, how do you become a great listener? And I think this might be
the most important thing I say today, if I can say that.
So, how do you become a great listener? Number one, you keep an open
mind. So I think people become poor listeners because they totally shut down
because they have a preconceived notion of what should be or what should
be said or what’s going to be said. Just have an open mind and don’t think
about what you’re going to say next, just focus on what somebody else is
saying. So that’s the first piece.
The second piece is to use somebody’s name a lot when you talk to them.
Now, you might say that’s just a silly little thing, but people mostly care about
themselves. People are really interested in themselves. If you meet somebody
and forget their names five minutes later, I wouldn’t want to have a
relationship with you either. It shows that you never really cared in the first
place. So if you use someone’s name a lot, you build relationship, if the
conversation starts to sway and it comes back to you, be a master of getting it
back to them.
So you always want to do a quick U-turn if it’s too much about you, you’ve got
to stop and make it all about them because that’s what people want to talk
about is themselves. And the more you get them talking the more
opportunity you are going to get to find out more about their pain. So does
that make sense?
So, I want to close by telling you a story and I hope that this story emphasizes
some of these points that I’ve made, but this is a true story. So I live in New
Jersey. Any Jersey hats in the house? So I live in Jersey and we got hammered
by Hurricane Sandy as most of you know and you saw on the news and so
certainly parts of New Jersey got away worse than I did. When we got to day
number six with no power, I was like, you know the first day was fun, my son
was like this is great, it’s like survival, like one of those survivor shows we
watch. Like Preppers, like global, he happens to watch all these survival
shows. So the first two days was fun. Third day it was getting serious. Day

5. number four I was like, I got to get out of here. So, you know, I have four kids,
I am there by myself, the house was getting cold. One of the things that
Market America has done for me, it has allowed me to just pick up and go.
Time freedom, financial freedom. So I scooped up my kids and we were in
Atlanta the next day where they had power, where there was no gas ration
and where it was pretty warm. But on the plane on the way down there, so
I’m travelling, it was me and my four kids. My youngest son has special
needs, and we got to the gate. My son he’s on oxygen and we had to have the
wheelchair, and we had to have help but we get to the gate, and there’s a
woman who is also travelling along with three kids.
She had a baby, like a baby, baby, like a three month old baby, a three year
old and a six year old. And immediately I was like “Oh, please God, don’t let
them sit next to us on the plane.” Right, I had some nerve because I was like
there with my millions of kids. So I am watching her, I’m at the gate and I’m
like this is like a train wreck, like the pacifier is dropping, the kids are crying,
like she’s disorganized. So, whatever, they let us on the plane first and she
was right behind us because that’s what happens. So I was sitting between
my twins over here and my two older ones were here, and she was literally
right behind them with chaos.
So it’s like a two and a half hour flight. The first hour we all pretty much put
up with a whole lot of crying and screaming and things being thrown. I don’t
know, I sat throughout and my oldest daughter sits up and she looks at me
and she’s like, “Well” as if like I’m the only one in the plane that can go and
manage this situation. So I gave it a little while and finally I was like, all right,
let me go see what I can do to help this woman. It’s like, she was an accident
waiting to happen, this woman. So I stood up and I said to her, “Can I ask you
a question?” And she said “yes”, and I said “If you could be anywhere in the
world right now, where would you be?” And she started laughing and she
was like “Any place other than here.” I was like right and I’m thinking, we are
all thinking the same thing.
So, I started chatting her up a little bit because, you know, people on the
plane are not nice, like her kids are crying and everyone’s like aarg! You can
hear them grumbling. So anyway, very quickly I said to her, “What are your
kids’ names?” I repeated the names. “How old are your kids?” she tells me
how old they are. And I said, “Oh”, her son was six, my twins were six. “Why
don’t we switch seats so they can play?” So she was like “Get out.” Like “go”.
So, her six year old goes and he is playing with my six year olds. And then I
said to her, “Can I take your baby, for a little while?” And she kind of looks at

6. me and I’m like “I can’t go anywhere.” Like we’re stuck on the plane. So, she
gives me the baby, and I’m holding the baby and I’m quieting the baby down
and we start chatting and it turns out that her husband is in the military and
she hasn’t seen him for six months. So she’s been basically a single mum. So
we talk about being a single mum. I told her how brave she was for
sacrificing her husband, you know, so for us, for what we do and talked about
what it was like being a single mum. And anyway, the end of the day, we’re
getting off the plane, everybody’s calm, I gave her back her calm baby, the
kids were happy and I said to her on the way out the door, if you ever need
anything call me. Here’s my cell, here’s my email, get in touch. She’s like,
here’s my cell, here’s my email. We’ve been texting and emailing for like the
last three months. She is like the most unbelievable woman for what she’s
going through. But here’s the point. She may or may not become a business
partner, she may or may not become a customer, but I know I have a new
friend. So, that’s what I’m going to leave you with. Just make a lot of friends.