This document discusses principles of verbal messages. It covers how messages are packaged and interpreted, the denotative and connotative meanings of words, how messages vary in abstraction, politeness, assertiveness, and ability to confirm or disconfirm. Guidelines are provided for using criticism and praise effectively and for communicating assertively. The document also discusses making messages more effective by using extensional orientation, avoiding allness and fact-inference confusion, discriminating appropriately, focusing on the middle rather than extremes, and updating messages over time.

1. Verbal Messages
Chapter 5

2. Principles of Verbal Messages
Guidelines for using Verbal Messages
Effectively

3. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
◦ Verbal & Nonverbal together

4. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people

5. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
◦ Language is a symbol system.
◦ Symbols are interpreted differently by
different people.
◦ Words we use are not the reality, but they
are used to express and shape reality.

6. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
◦ Denotation: Objective definition
◦ Connotation: Subjective, emotional meanings.
Feelings and associations.

7. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction

8. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction
5. Messages vary in politeness

9. 5. Messages vary in Politeness
Directvs Indirect
Advantages of Indirect Messages
Disadvantages of Indirect Messages

10. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction
5. Messages vary in politeness
6. Message meanings can deceive

11. 6. Message meanings can deceive
Definition of lying
Types of lies
How people lie
The behavior of liars

12. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction
5. Messages vary in politeness
6. Message Meanings can deceive
7. Messages can criticize and praise

13. 7. Messages can Criticize and Praise
When does a person need praise? Or
criticism?
Guidelines for expressing negative
information:
◦ Focus on the event and behavior, not person
◦ Try to state in positive terms
◦ Own your thoughts and feelings; “I-messages”
◦ Avoid ordering or directing
◦ Choose appropriate context

14. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction
5. Messages vary in politeness
6. Message Meanings can deceive
7. Messages can criticize and praise
8. Messages vary in assertiveness

15. 8. Messages vary in
Assertiveness
Nonassertiveness: Fail to assert your
rights.
Aggressiveness: Care little about the
rights of others.
Assertiveness: You act in your best
interest without denying the rights of
others.

16. Communicate Assertively
? What are some guidelines?

17. Principles of Verbal Messages
1. Messages are packaged
2. Message meanings are in people
3. Messages are denotative & connotative
4. Messages vary in abstraction
5. Messages vary in politeness
6. Message Meanings can deceive
7. Messages can criticize and praise
8. Messages vary in assertiveness
9. Messages can confirm and disconfirm

18. 9. Messages can confirm and disconfirm
Disconfirmation
Rejection
Confirmation

19. Disconfirmation
What are some ways we show
disconfirmation in our conversation?
Why is racist, sexist, heterosexist, or
ageist language disconfirming?

20. Part 2: Make verbal messages more
effective
Extensionalize
◦ Intensional orientation
◦ Extensional orientation
Avoid allness
Avoid Fact-Inference confusion
◦ Facts
◦ Inferences

21. Make verbal messages more
effective
Discriminate among
◦ Indiscrimination
Talk about the middle
◦ Polarization
Update messages
◦ Static evaluation