Tony Blair calls George W. Bush after watching India's Independence Day celebrations, expressing regret that Britain gave up India as a colony and proposing that they attack India to take it back as Britain's colony again. Bush is skeptical but Blair insists, proposing they claim India has weapons of mass destruction as an excuse for invasion, as they did in Iraq. However, when Bush speaks to the Indian Prime Minister, he learns the "weapons of mass destruction" actually refer to India's politicians and officials who were trained under British rule, not real weapons.

1. COLONIAL HALLUCINATIONS

2. It was the day after India’s Independence Day. A thoughtful Tony
Blair who had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone
with his friend Bush:
“India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get India
back as a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years ago," said
Blair, "this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of
mass destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Indians to give up
their weapons of mass destruction!"
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony,India is a
Democracy you know?"

3. "I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm
sure you could do this lil' favour for me.With India back as my
colony, we'll be back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You
heard that phrase George?"
"I thought it was America who was doing the ruling Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal
partners once I get my India back. Come on George talk to that
Manmohan feller, tell him to give up his weapons of mass destruction,
or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited
for Bush to talk to the Indian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little
globe he had on his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up.
"Tony it is me," said George, "how many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!" said Tony, standing
at attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily.

4. "No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction."
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it is your people who made
them," said Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction?" whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MPs, their MLAs," said Bush happily,
"Manmohan said you could take them all back to England where they
were trained years ago by your people to divide and rule..!"
FROM AN EMAIL… ;)
TRINITYBLU 2011