Rissa begins her first day of college by cleaning out her late half-sister Lindsay's art studio. That night, she has a dream where Lindsay visits her. Lindsay warns Rissa not to answer the phone, as Suze Chandler is calling. The next morning, Suze calls but Rishell answers and says Rissa isn't there. Rissa meets Rishell's friends at a welcome party, where she learns their intended majors and that Matt gets nervous talking to attractive women.

2. Previously, in The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy:
Maia began to howl…

3. …Elaborate, please, Lucy. The suspense is killing me.
“See, Remus and I just got some rather bad news from home. One of my Sims has
gotten himself into an apocalypse, and we’re sort of needed.”
Ah…

4. …Suze glanced over at her son and his girlfriend. “I wouldn’t count on it. You never
won any Father of the Year awards.”
“Painfully succinct, as always.” Alejandro raised his hand as if to touch her, but
thought better of it. “I believe this is goodbye, then?”
“Pretty much. Goodbye, Alejandro.”
“Goodbye, Susannah.”…

5. …There was a scruffy young girl sitting on top of the wall. She had a long blonde
plait with twigs poking out of it, and grubby blue overalls. Her feet were bare.
“And what exactly are you doing up there?” asked Rose, more calmly than she felt.
“Climbin’,” said the girl casually, swinging her feet.
“I can see that. What happens if you fall from all the way up there?”…

6. …Suddenly, she knew what she had to do. If Suze wouldn’t take her to college, she’d
just damn well take herself.
She opened her bedroom door, very quietly, and slipped out into the darkened
hallway…

7. So much for life without walls.
Rissa scowled at the huge iron gates in front of the Greek House. Obviously, college
was not meant to be the four years or so of freedom she’d anticipated.

8. She kicked her suitcase petulantly. “Damn it.”
Rissa was about to try opening the gate when a noise from the house made her
freeze.

9. A short girl in a sweater dress had bounded down the porch steps and was standing
happily on the other side of the gate.
“Hi hi!” she said chirpily. “I wasn’t expecting you yet, but, well, here you are! Gosh,
look at you. So tall, and pretty, and… green?”
Rissa stood defiantly, blowing a strand of teal hair out of her face. “Yeah. So what?”

10. “Well, I haven’t seen you since, gosh, your brother’s wedding! You were so little back
then! And blonde. I don’t like thinking about the time difference thingy, it makes my
head hurt. But aren’t you a little young to be in college?” The girl stood silently for a
minute, and Rissa could all but see the cogs ticking in her head as she tried to
recalculate Rissa’s age.

11. Finally, impatient to get inside, Rissa said, “I graduated early.”
“Oh, you must be a smart cookie then! I couldn’t do that. I can’t even spell my own
name, some days.”

12. She frowned. “Pretty sure it’s R-I-S-H-E-L-L.”
“Rishell. Right. Can I come in now? You’re kinda blockin’ the gate.”
“Oh gosh! I’m sorry! Come on in, you need the grand tour!” Rishell skipped aside and
allowed Rissa to open the gate.
“I ain’t really one for tours. I prefer to get lost and find my way out.”
Rishell shrugged. “Kay then! But I do need to show you something, first.”

13. “Look at the house! Isn’t it so pretty?” asked Rishell, skipping up the path with Rissa
in her wake. “There’s a wall now, but it’s okay because when you stand up on the
balcony you can see over it! And we have a hot tub and a pool table and…”
Rissa interrupted Rishell’s monologue. “What’s that thing?”

14. Rishell spotted the object Rissa was gazing at. “Oh, that’s Gladys. She’s been there
since forever.” She tutted. “Looks like the butler forgot to feed her again. Don’t you
go grabbing that cake, now. It looks tasty, but if you do, SNAP!” Rishell illustrated
with an exaggerated arm movement.
“I’ll remember that,” muttered Rissa, eyeing the creature warily. Who on earth
would be fool enough to try taking cake from something that looked like that? “Was
that what you wanted me to see?”
“Nope. This way.”

15. Rishell lead Rissa around to the back of the house. “You need to look in here, kinda. I
haven’t touched anything, ‘cos I figured she’d be back to pick things up. Then, it
happened, and I guess I didn’t want to assume anything since it makes an ass out of
you and me, and…”
Rissa sighed. “Slow down, Rishell. I ain’t makin’ any sense out of you.”

16. Rishell’s easy smile faded a bit. “This is your sister’s art studio. I didn’t know what to
do about it.”
Rissa sighed inwardly. “That’s okay, Rishell. I ‘preciate it, really, you not pokin’
around in there. I’ll do somethin’ about it.”
Rishell smiled brilliantly. “I did good?”
“You did.”

17. “Awesome! I guess I’ll leave you to it. Classes don’t start for another couple of days,
so you’ll have time to get used to the place.”
“Sure.”
Rishell skipped away, humming distractedly. Rissa shook her head. Living with Rishell
was going to be… interesting.

18. She walked into the unlocked studio. The air was a little stale, and smelled like
dried-up clay and turpentine. Half-finished canvases were all over the place, and
screwed-up sketches littered the floor.

19. Rissa could see immediately that there wasn’t really anything useful left – Lindsay
had probably cleared out the useful things and not bothered to clean up the mess left
behind. It made her a little sad, though, to see this evidence left behind of a life cut
short.

20. Although it certainly wasn’t what she’d planned to do on her first day at college,
cleaning up the studio was something that needed to be done. So Rissa spent the day
scrubbing away at the paint marks and packing up the easels and half-finished
canvases.

21. By the time she was done, it was nearly dark, but at least everything was packed and
tidied away.
Rissa brushed at her dress, which had become a little dusty. “Well, that was fun.
Guess I might as well use this place for storage now.” She sighed and headed back to
the house, locking the door behind her.

22. Rissa was so tired that night that when she finally stumbled upstairs, she walked in
the wrong door. Instead of the group bedroom, she was in what had obviously once
been Lindsay’s room.

23. “Oh, wonderful. More freakin’ ghosts from the past to haunt me.” Rissa rolled her
eyes and stripped off her boots. “Sorry, sis, too tired to be worryin’ about the angst
tonight,” she said to the picture on the nightstand.

24. She didn’t even bother to crawl under the covers – she just curled up on the top of
the bed and was out almost instantly.

25. It was strange. Rissa had never seen this place, but being there was oddly
comforting. The sense of déjà vu unnerved her a little.
What was a tad more unnerving was the apparent lack of doors or windows. Rissa had
never been terribly claustrophobic, but the idea of being trapped made her sweat a
little.

26. After some wandering around, she surmised that there were indeed no exits – but
the room was suspiciously perfect. No cracks in the plaster, no scuffs on the
floorboards. Everything seemed too real, too bright.
So this must be a dream, thought Rissa. She didn’t feel like she was dreaming, but
there really wasn’t another explanation.
She took a seat on one of the couches, and waited patiently to wake up.

27. As she waited, she pondered the odd familiarity of the room. Perhaps it was because
she was inside her own head. Perhaps it was because the small rug on the floor was
so like the one from the lounge of her childhood home. She didn’t quite know.
“So, how’s life, Rissy Bear?”

28. Although the room had been really, really empty mere seconds beforehand, it was no
longer so. A redheaded woman in paint-stained overalls was now standing in front of
Rissa.
Rissa did not feel startled in the least. She almost felt as though she’d been
expecting the woman. How odd, she mused, as the woman took a seat of her own.

29. “You’re not surprised to see me?” asked the woman. Blood ran from a small wound
on her abdomen and dripped onto the spotless upholstery of the couch. The denim
on her overalls was already deep red, suggesting the injury had been bleeding for
some time.
“Dreams don’t generally adhere to my idea of normal,” explained Rissa. “You might
want to get that checked,” she added, gesturing at the woman’s stomach.

30. “This? Oh, no. It’s fine. It’s done its job.” Deep blue eyes looked into Rissa’s paler
ones. “I do hope you’ve guessed who I am.”
“You’ve watched me from the hallway wall since before I could walk. Sister, in blood
but not in bond.”
“Bingo. I always did think you’d be clever. You definitely figured out how to bust out
of your crib fast enough.”

31. Rissa slouched back in her chair. “You left your studio a little messy, by the way.”
“I left everything kind of messy. The studio, my bedroom, the hallway carpet.”
Lindsay smiled slightly. “I hope someone replaced that.”
“Aren’t you kind of dead?” Rissa asked disinterestedly.

32. “Pretty much. I did get a bullet in my gut. That tends to more or less kill a person.
Did you know that blood makes carpets go squish? It’s almost funny.”
“Way to scar your baby sister for life, Lindscary.”
Lindsay laughed. “Lindscary. I like it. Kind of appropriate.”
Rissa fiddled nonchalantly with a buckle on her boots. “We going to get to a point
anytime soon? Only, I have somewhere I need to be. I like to call it the real world.”

33. “So impatient. What are they teaching you young whippersnappers these days?”
“Pff. You never got much older than me.”
“True.” Lindsay smiled mysteriously. “Seize the day. Take risks. Smile at strangers.”

34. “Who are you, my guidance counselor? I expected bigger and better things from the
freaky ghost-dream of my long-dead half-sister.”
“Oh, you’re far too skeptical to accept any real advice from me yet. But I can give
you a little food for thought.”

35. Lindsay stared intently at Rissa for a second, then smiled. “Phone’s ringing. Let
Rishell answer it. Trust me, you don’t want to handle that call just yet.”
Rissa raised an eyebrow. “And what is that meant to mean?”
“You’ll see. Time to wake up now, Rissa.”

36. “What…” Rissa began, but found herself sitting bolt upright in bed. “Oh, great.”

37. “Morning, Riffa!”
Rishell swallowed her mouthful of pancake. “How’d you sleep? Find the bedrooms
okay?”

38. “Ungh. Too cheerful.” Rissa fumbled with the buttons on the coffee machine. “Need
caffeine.”
“There’s a fresh pot, actually. And some leftover pancakes.”
“Seriously?” Rissa poured herself a cup. “I freakin’ love you, Rishell.”

39. She sat down with her cup, cradling it fondly. “Sweet, sweet coffee.”
“Not a morning person, are you?” asked Rishell cheerfully.
“Not so much. But so long as there’s a pot of coffee when I get up, I think I can
manage.” Rissa took another sip. “I reckon you’re gonna be a pretty good roomie.”
Rishell grinned. “I do my best!”

40. The phone rang. Both women said “I’ll get it!” in unison.

41. Rissa chuckled. “How about you get that one? I got all this coffee to drink, then I’d
best eat somethin’ solid.”
Rishell nodded and bounced eagerly in her chair. “Sure sure!”

42. Rishell picked up the phone and, in an incredible display of lung capacity, said in one
breath, “Annya-Nagard-Cham-Greek-House-this-is-Rishell-speaking-how-can-I-help-
you-today?”
Then, her smile faded a little bit.

43. Rissa shoved her cup into the dishwasher and was about to ask who it was on the
other end when Rishell spoke, a little more loudly and slowly than was strictly normal
for her.
“Oh, hello, Ms Chandler,” she said, with a significant glance at Rissa. “How are you
today?”

44. Rissa made a small yelping noise. “I’m not here!” she mouthed frantically at Rishell.
Rishell nodded once, sharply, then kept speaking.
“I’m sorry, Ms Chandler. Rissa’s not here. No. Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay, bye now!”

45. She hung the phone up.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked mildly.

46. Rissa sighed. “Short version is that we had a fight of proportions not unlike a movie
set in Ancient Greece with men in leather skirts stabbin’ each other with pointy
things. Long version’s too damn complicated to go into without a lot of booze and ice
cream.”

47. Rishell nodded. “Family tends to make things complicated.”
“Don’t it, though?” Rissa cracked a smile. “I’ll tell you ‘bout it one of these days. I
ain’t quite ready yet, though.”

48. “Fair enough.” Rishell smiled. “By the way, I’m commanding the downstairs bathroom
today. I’m fair tired of being a brunette – thought I might go back to my natural
colour.”
“I think you mean commandeerin’, but I getcha. I’m gonna get lost today, anyways –
thought I’d have a bit of a wander round, find where the labs keep their liquid
nitrogen and such.” She grinned evilly. “You c’n have a lotta fun with liquid
nitrogen.”

49. “Kay! But, oh, come back at three. The gang’s all gonna be here. We’re having a kind
of pre-classes party thing, and I want you to meet them!”
“The gang?”
“Couple of my study buddies. I think you’ll like them. I was thinking of asking them to
be pledges.”
“Hey, I’m in favour of any plan that gives me people to boss ‘round.”

50. “Awesomesauce. See you at three!” said Rishell cheerily.
“Sure.”

51. A few hours later, Rissa strolled into the lounge and was greeted by a happy squee
from Rishell.
“Rissa! Guys, this is Rissa. Rissa, these are the guys.” Rishell pointed them all out in
turn. “Lora Collin’s the one with the red hair, William Williamson’s the scruffy one
next to me, and Matthew Hart’s the one next to Lora.”
Everyone murmured their greetings to Rissa. William snickered. “Nice hair,” he said.

52. Rissa smirked. “Nice name. Was your mama crazy, or did she just hate you?”

53. William sighed theatrically. “Ah, you’ve hit on the bane of my existence. My whole
family is afflicted by a terrible case of bad taste. It’s hit my sister Wilhemina
particularly hard, but I, thankfully, remain immune.”
“Which is so obvious from your attention to personal grooming,” said Rissa mildly,
eyeing his generally unkempt appearance and scrubby goatee.
“I thought you were an only child, Will,” said Rishell, confused.
“I was being amusing, humorous, witty, droll. Funny,” he amended, seeing that
Rishell remained blank-faced.

54. “Oh.” Rishell smiled sheepishly.
“You know better than to take anything Will says seriously,” said Matthew wryly.
“Right. Pull up a bit of ground, Rissa. You don’t need to stand around like that.”

55. Lora rolled her eyes. “There’s a perfectly good bit of couch, Rishell. Matt’s not that
fat,” she said, poking him in the ribs. He yelped and obligingly scooted over a tad.

56. “Cheers.” Rissa took a seat. “So, y’all are second-semester freshmen, right? What
majors you picked? I might end up in a coupla classes with one of you.”
“Economics for me,” said Will cheerfully. “Learning about all the joys and wonders of
being a filthy capitalist.”
Rishell nodded. “Same here. Numbers are fun!”

57. “And you two?”
“I’m doing psych,” said Lora.
“I haven’t, uh, made up my mind yet,” said Matt. “I was thinking, um, maybe
political science? Or history?” He ran a hand through his hair nervously.
“Chill, dude. Just askin’,” said Rissa.
“Matt has trouble talking to pretty girls. It took him a week before he could form a
sentence around me,” said Lora. Matt kicked her.

58. The afternoon pretty much proceeded in that manner. Rishell put on a DVD, and
everyone either laughed about the ridiculous special effects or formed their own
conversations.
Rissa was secretly pleased that she’d been assimilated into the group so quickly. She
could have handled college on her own, but having friends would make things that
much easier.

59. Rissa got to know her new housemates fairly well in the weeks that followed.

60. Rishell was always cheerful and bubbly, if a little on the brainless side. She was
pretty good with numbers, but not with much else.
She tended to say what was on her mind, though, and was unfailingly loyal to anyone
who showed her kindness. Rissa envied her a little for her ease in making and keeping
friends.

61. Will was definitely giving Rissa a run for her money as the campus prankster. He was
always up for a verbal sparring match with her, and had a knack for relieving tense
situations with some ridiculous joke. He was fairly lax about his studies, though he
always pulled up in time for exams.

62. Lora was fairly shy and bookish. She was very good at psychology, and used what
she’d learned to keep the group’s very different personalities from clashing too
much.
She also had a terrible, unreturned crush on Matt. This made matters complex in
more than one way.

63. The main way was that Matt was clearly enamoured with Rissa.

64. Matt was normally fairly reserved and awkward, but he became ten times more so
around Rissa. He became jealous when Will spent too much time with her, and often
stole glances at her whenever he could.
Unusually for sharp-minded and –tongued Rissa, she was totally oblivious to the tense
triangle she was unwittingly a part of.
Despite this, the group held together and worked its way through the first year of
college.

65. And so the semester wore on. Rissa chose her major – Biology – and Matt also made
his choice, History. Rissa powered through her first semester coursework, and started
working on second and third semester papers. She also lent a hand to Matt, Rishell
and Will – Lora was happy enough to work on her own.

66. Will and Rissa formed an unusual relationship based purely on getting on each other’s
nerves, and the occasional collaboration on grandiose pranks.

67. Rishell and Lora took it in their stride, and Lora often intervened to make sure the
pair didn’t do anything truly stupid… but Matt always seemed a little uncomfortable
whenever he saw the two of them with their heads together. Or just together.

68. Being a Greek House, they couldn’t spend their whole time studying. Parties were
thrown at least once a week, and eventually, Annya-Nagard-Cham was known for
throwing the best post-exam bashes on campus.

69. Rissa didn’t spend as much time partying as her housemates did, though.
“Oh, come on, Rissa.” Lora eyed Rissa’s latest task. “We just finished exams!”
“I’m doin’ winter school this year,” said Rissa, concentration broken. “I want to get
the hell outta here as soon as I can.”
“You’re doing junior level bio there. You’re only a freshman!”
“What can I say? I got a big brain.”

70. “What you have is a chip on your shoulder the size of an oak tree. Live a little, Rissa!
You don’t need to graduate in six months.”
“The hell I don’t.” Rissa glared at Lora. “You see those walls outside the house?
They’re there ‘acos of me. Sooner I get graduated, sooner I can run off and do
somethin’ with my life that ain’t got nothin’ to do with walls.”
Lora sighed. “At least come on spring break with us in March. Rishell’s been talking
about going somewhere exciting. Maybe to the beach.”

71. “Pfft.” Rissa scribbled a few more words onto her paper. “Nothin’ at the beach but
seaweed and grit.”
“They call it sand there,” said Lora, amused.
“Grit, sand, same shit, different bucket. They both get into places you’d rather they
didn’t.”

72. “Fine. Stay here and hit the books. It’s not like you’re on track to graduate two years
early already. Oh, wait, you are.” Lora sighed. “Come on. I hate the beach, too.
Redhead with freckles is a recipe for sunburn. Yet I plan to go along.”
“You plan to go along ‘acos Matt’s too damn stupid to notice you like him and you’re
hopin’ to make him jealous by flirtin’ with some muscular local.”
Lora narrowed her eyes. “Stop being all insightful. It’s creepy.”

73. Lora was proven right a few months later at breakfast. Breakfast was the one time of
the day when the housemates were all home and able to chat.
“Okay, guys! I have spring break plans!” said Rishell chirpily. “I’ve found this
awesome hotel on Twikkii Island that gives student discounts, so I’m planning on
booking a couple of rooms there. Sun, sand, and pretty boys and girls depending on
which way you swing!”
There was a generally pleased murmur – most everyone had mouthfuls of omelette.

74. “So, is everyone coming?” asked Lora. “I know me and Rishell are. We just need a yes
or no so we can do bookings and stuff tomorrow.”
“I’m in,” said Will easily. “I can impress everyone with how studly I look in a
Speedo.”
“I’ll come too,” said Matt. “I, uh, think we all need a break-type-thing.”

75. “Wh-uh, what about you, Rissa?”
“Count me out,” said Rissa bluntly. “I ain’t signin’ up for sand flies and swimmer’s
ear. I got too much to do here, anyways, if I want to graduate A.S.A.P.”
Matt pouted a little. “Oh, c-come on. It’ll be fun!”

76. “Yeah, Riss,” said Will. “We need you there. Your lovely neon locks will be perfect
for scaring away the sharks.”
“Sh-sharks?” asked Matt.
“He’s jokin’,” said Rissa mildly. “Sharks can’t see colour.”

77. Rishell smiled wistfully. “Okay, Rissa. You change your mind, you let me know, okay?”
“She won’t,” said Lora. “She’s stubborn as a mule when she makes up her mind.”
“Darn tootin’,” said Rissa, scooping another mouthful of omelette. “Now, if you
slackers’ll excuse me, I got class to go to.”

78. “Been hitting the books, have we?”
“Can’t a girl get her beauty sleep without you poking her nose in?” Rissa barely
glanced at the piles of textbooks. “I like to keep busy. Use my brain for something
other than weird dreams.”
“All work and no play will make Rissa… well, I can’t say dull because you pull some
grandiose prank every other week. Can’t you leave it to the fraternity?”

79. “Oh, so a co-ed Greek House can’t create a little mayhem? Besides, I’m twice the
man anyone in Urele-Oresha-Cham house is.”
“A man is a god in ruins.”
“And a dorm in ruins is once me and Will have visited. I do have a partner in crime,
now.”
“You were never a child, were you?”

80. “I didn’t need to be.”
“Did my heads-up about the phone call help any?”
Rissa smiled lazily. “Sure did. Cheers for that. Mom can be… manic.”
“She has her reasons.”

81. “Everyone has a reason. I’m sure my subconscious has a reason for picking you as its
freaky representative.”
“Dreams can be real.”
“If this were real, I’d be in a cemetery talking to a pile of bones, dust, and bullet
fragments.”

82. Lindsay frowned. “Don’t be so flippant. There’s something big out there. It’s bigger
than you, than me, bigger than any of us could have ever imagined. It needs you. I’m
just here to speak for it.”
“Oh, now I feel special. Aren’t spirit guide things a bit less bleed-y than you?”
“Some things can’t be fixed.”

83. “We got a little off topic,” said Lindsay. “I do have a message for you.”
“Wonderful. We do have e-mail these days.”
“A little bird told me you weren’t going on spring break this year. You might want to
re-think that.”
“Oh hell no. I don’t do sand and sunburn.”

84. “Oh, go on. All this can wait for you. It’s not going anywhere.”
“Why should I?”
“Things happen on spring break. You might surprise yourself.”
“Pfft. I never surprise myself.”
“There’s a first time for everything. Off you go, now. Time for a brand new day.”

85. Rissa groaned when she woke up. “Right. That’s it. I’m using my enormous genius
brain to figure out a way to go without sleep for the rest of my life.”

86. After breakfast that day, Rissa caught up with Rishell in the lounge.
“Rishell? You made that bookin’ yet?”
“Nope. Just about to, though. Why?”
“I kinda changed my mind. Figured it can’t hurt to take myself a brain vacation. I
don’t really need to be graduatin’ in a year and a half. I c’n do it in two.”

87. “Eeee!” Rishell clapped eagerly. “This is going to be so much fun! And Lora totally
owes me $10 now. She bet you wouldn’t budge.”
Rissa chuckled. “That’ll learn her to bet against Rissa the Unpredictable.”
“Why the change of heart?”

88. “No reason,” lied Rissa. “Just got used to the idea, and all.”
“Awesome, awesome. I’ll put us down as a party of five then.” Rishell smiled broadly,
then sat down at the computer to start work.
Rissa sighed inwardly. Her subconscious sure owed her one.

89. “Come on guys! The taxi’s here!” Rishell hollered from the kitchen. There were a few
scuffles from upstairs before everyone trooped down the staircase.

90. Everyone except for Rissa, of course.
“Rissa, where the hell are you?” yelled Lora.
“I’m on my way! Damn, you lot are freakin’ impatient!”

91. Will snickered when she made it downstairs. “That’s your summer gear?”
Rissa just glared. “This is comin’ from Mr. Loud And Obnoxious Hawaiian Shirt?”
“Would you two knock it off?” sighed Lora. “Let’s get going, already. The driver’s
been leaning on the horn for a good five minutes now.”

92. Sniping at each other the whole time, the motley group eventually got out to the cab
and were on their way to Twikkii Island.

93. “Rishell, this place is amazing.”

94. “I know, right?”
The ‘hotel’ Rishell had booked ended up being two bungalows with access to a
private beach.
“I thought about booking out the whole resort,” said Rishell cheerfully, “but the third
bungalow was already booked. Something about a standing reservation.”
“Whatever, Rishell. This is freakin’ fantastic.”

95. After they were all signed in, everyone headed straight down to the beach to start on
their well-earned break. Rishell decided to try getting a tan, and nobody had the
heart to tell her she really didn’t need one. Will began on the ‘world’s most epic
sandcastle’, and Matt and Lora went straight for the water.
Rissa, though, stayed on the sand and stared moodily at the waves.

96. “You are an interesting woman.”
“Ain’t this a private beach?” asked Rissa lazily. She turned to look at the speaker.
“Even if you are a local. Didn’t think you’d lower yourself to slummin’ with the
tourists.”
He chuckled. “It’s a complicated story, but I’m staying here.”
“Even though you’re in the palm frond brigade?” She stood up and faced him. “And
why the hell would you call me interestin’ anyways?”

97. The man was a handsome redhead with piercing green eyes. Rissa refused to allow his
attractiveness to sway her in any way.
“Because you wear boots on the sand,” he said. “You came to the ocean but avoid
the water. You wear black even in summer, and you never, ever relax. Even on
vacation. We don’t get a lot of tourists like you.”
“Oh, so you are from ‘round these parts.”
“Born and raised.” His laugh was deep and self-assured. “I just don’t live here any
more.”

98. “You’re makin’ about as much sense as Rishell after a coupla shots of espresso.”
“I live on Plunder Island – it’s another part of the archipelago. Work for a company
there. But I moonlight here over the summer as a walking, talking tourist trap. Pays
the bills.”
“And you stay here when y’all do your moonlightin’.”
“Right. I’m Theo. What’s your name?”

99. Rissa snickered. “Theo? As in Theodore? Teddy?”
Theo frowned. “Do I look like a Teddy to you?”
“Only a lot. Teddy.” Rissa laughed harder.
“You’re making it hard for me to seduce you here,” Theo said mildly. “Is your name
too much to ask for?”

100. “You arrogant son of a bitch! What makes you think I’d be interested at all in being
swept off my feet by you?”
“Arrogant is my middle name,” said Theo seriously. When Rissa only glared, he
grinned. “I was just joking, but now I’m curious. Who are you?”
“Names are powerful. Why do you want mine?”
“Like I said, you interest me. I want to get to know you.”

101. “Yet you don’t interest me.” Rissa turned and started stomping towards her
bungalow. “Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.”
Theo watched her go. “Now I’m really interested,” he said, aloud, to nobody in
particular. “Who is that girl?”

102. When Matt and Lora got out of the water, they noticed Rissa’s absence immediately.
“Did you see where she went?” asked Matt.
“Back to the bungalow, I think,” said Will. “I’m thinking of joining her. I don’t know
about you two, but I’m starving.”
“Sounds like a plan. Come on, Rishell,” said Lora.

103. “Okay, okay, I’m coming. Hey, look! I tanned! I told you guys so!”

104. The night went well enough – the little group had burgers on the deck of the girls’
bungalow and talked until nearly midnight, when the boys were finally shooed away
to their rooms.

105. “Come on, Rissa! A bit of water won’t hurt you!” called Will.
The next day, the group decided to go to one of the public beaches rather than laze
around the hotel all day. As usual, everyone had busted out their bikinis or budgie-
smugglers except for Rissa.

106. “I told you, I ain’t swimmin’. But look, see, I’m relaxin’.” Rissa made an exaggerated
show of basking in the sun. “I ain’t bein’ totally borin’.”

107. “Meh, suit yourself.” Will jumped into the salty water on his own, leaving Rissa to her
own devices on the beach.

108. “So. Rissa, is it? That short for something?”
Rissa nearly toppled out of the chair. “Sheezus. Fuck’s sake, Teddy, don’t sneak up
on me.”
“I’ll take that as a yes. So what, are you a Nerissa? Karissa, Marissa, Larissa?” Theo
grinned at Rissa’s furious glare.
“The fuck is wrong with you?”

109. “Many, many things. All of them psychological, I assure you. Nothing physically wrong
with me. Maybe you’re a Doris?”
“Am I that entertaining to you? Get lost, already.”
“You are endlessly entertaining. And you’re cute when you’re cranky.”
Rissa rolled her eyes. “Shove off. You’re more likely to get lucky with Rishell over
there than you are with me.”

110. “Rishell wouldn’t happen to be the one flirting with Carla, would she?”
“If Carla’s the one in the lei, then yes.”
“I don’t think I’m Rishell’s type.”
“Exactly. So I really don’t fancy your chances with me.”

111. “Okay. What’s her number?”
“Grr. You are incorrigible.” Rissa rolled off the lounge chair. “Thanks for ruining a
good bit of sunshine for me.”
Theo sighed. “You have a gift for making me feel like a criminal just for flirting with
a pretty girl.”
“I don’t do relationships,” grumbled Rissa.

112. “Oh, come on. It won’t hurt, much. Look, there’s a bar nearby that makes the best
pina coladas in the universe. Let me buy you one.”
“I don’t drink.”
“Oh, come on. What else are you going to do? Sit around and watch your friends
enjoy themselves? I’ll try not to be boring, I promise.”
“I really don’t need you around to enjoy myself,” said Rissa testily.

113. “And now you’re defensive, which means I’m right,” said Theo triumphantly.
“You’re not. And my name isn’t Doris. How the hell did you get Rissa from Doris
anyway?”
Theo grinned. “Doris. Ris. Rissa.”
“Oh. Well, it’s not right. None of them are.”

114. “I’ll just have to keep guessing, then!” Theo smiled. “I’ll figure it out eventually.”
“You will not. My name is Clarissa.”
“Aww, spoil all my fun.” Theo scrutinised Rissa. “Clarissa, Clarissa. Nope, doesn’t suit
you either. You should be a Priscilla or a Cordelia, not a Clarissa.”
“Why do you think I go by Rissa?”
“Touché.”

115. “Still, what was your mother thinking?”
Rissa’s face hardened. “She didn’t know who I was when she named me. She still
doesn’t.”
“Ah. Touchy subject. Okay, we can talk about something else. The weather? The
football? Alcoholic beverages?”

116. Rissa threw up her hands. “You’re impossible!”
“But convincing. Can’t deny that I’m convincing.”
“Gah.”
“Is that a yes?” said Theo hopefully.

117. He leaned in, and whispered in her ear, “What have you got to lose?”
Ordinarily, she’d have hit him, but his warm breath on her neck made Rissa’s mind go
foggy. She snapped herself out of it, and scolded herself for being so… girly. But, the
offer of a free drink or two was tempting, and there was nothing better for her to do
here…
She sighed. “They better be damn good pina coladas.”
Theo grinned. “Knew you’d see it my way,” he said lightly, blowing playfully at a lock
of her neon hair before leading her away.

118. “You know I’m only doing this for the free booze,” remarked Rissa. “And because it’s
good for my reputation to be seen with many, many shirtless men.”
“I believe every word you say,” said Theo, absolutely deadpan.

119. Some time later, Matt sloshed out of the water and noticed Rissa’s absence.
“Yo, Will, where’d Rissa go?”
“Off with some local. They looked kinda intimate, so I figured I shouldn’t mess with
that.”
Matt grimaced. “Wait, what? Who was he?”
“Dunno, man. Good luck to him, whoever he is. He was pretty good-looking, in a
rugged, manly way.”

120. Matt glared at him. “Aren’t you against this? You’re usually the one who’s all over
her.”
Will laughed. “Matt, dude, you are an idiot. I’m her co-conspirator, not her lover.
Besides, she’s not my type.”
“Right. Because tall, beautiful women aren’t your type.”
“They’re not. Damn, you must be blind if you haven’t noticed that I’m gay by now.”
Matt blinked, then grinned foolishly. “Oh.”

121. “Yeah, ‘Oh’ is right. Listen, Matt, you need to man up and freaking tell her you like
her already, instead of quietly seething whenever any guy so much as looks at her.”
“I, uh… okay?”
“Good man. Let’s round up the girls and head back. I dunno when Riss’ll be back, but
when she does, you talk to her, okay?”
“Okay.” Matt was silent for a moment. “You’re really gay?”
“Gay as a pink picnic basket. Your crush is safe from me.”

122. When Rissa got back, it was nearly midnight, and she was more than a little unsteady
on her feet. The pina coladas had been as good as advertised, and she’d indulged a
little too freely in them.
She was also a little ticked off that Theo had been a perfect gentleman the whole
time and hadn’t made a single pass at her.

123. So she nearly walked straight past Matt without seeing him, lost as she was in her fog
of disappointment and alcohol.
“Hey, Rissa. Wait up. I need to speak to you.”
Rissa started, then turned around. “Matt? Ain’t it a li’l late for you to be standin’ on
my doorstep?”

124. “Well, it is. Kinda.” Matt laughed nervously. “See, I need to…”
“Matt, seriously. It is late, I am definitely not totally sober, and I ain’t lookin’
forward to wakin’ up with a goddamn hangover. So can this please please please wait
or a reasonable hour?”
Matt sighed. “Okay. Sure. Sure it can. Night, Rissa.”

125. “Guh. What was all that about?” Rissa muttered to herself as she stumbled to bed.
“That guy has issues, I swear.”

126. She was still muttering to herself when she slowly drifted off to sleep.

127. “Enjoying the sunshine?”
“Oh, go away,” said Rissa crossly. “I’m going to have a hangover in the morning. I
can’t handle this shit right now.”
“Like it or lump it, Rissy Bear. The Powers That Be want you to know stuff, so you’ll
learn it whether you like it or not.”

128. Rissa curled her hand into a fist. “Look. What I’m getting here is that you, and
whoever the fuck it is who’s pulling my strings, are no goddamn better than my
mother.”
Lindsay sighed. “I’m sorry, Rissa. I was a bit harsh. I just wanted to talk.”
“Too bad. I’m through with this.”

129. Lindsay stood up. “You can’t just switch me off.”
“Well, then, I’m asking you to kindly fuck off and leave me alone. I’m tired of being
messed with. I want the illusion that I have control over my life, and that there’s no
puppet master out there somewhere who’s deciding things for me. I’m tired of being
treated like a kid. I’m a damn adult now. I don’t need walls, or ghosts, or people
looking over my fucking shoulder!”
“Rissa…”

130. “Oh, don’t ‘Rissa’ me. I want you out. If you’re a really fucked-up part of my
subconscious, you’ll take the hint from my waking mind and let me sleep in peace. If
you’re some ooky-spooky spiritual mumbo-jumbo from the planet Where-The-Fuck,
you’ll leave because I will get violent if I need to. And if you’re really my sister…
you’ll leave because I asked you to.”
“Rissa. You’re going to need guidance at some –”
“HAVEN’T YOU BEEN LISTENING?” snarled Rissa.

131. “I don’t need or want you! I did just fine before I started getting these freaky
dreams, and I’ll do just fine without them!”

132. Lindsay reached out as if to touch Rissa, then thought better of it. “All right,” she
said, heavily. “I’ll leave you alone. But Rissa, when…”
“No. No, no, no. I don’t wanna hear it. I just want to be left alone.”

133. Lindsay vanished.
“Well, about fucking time.” Rissa allowed her rage to simmer down a bit, then
realised she wasn’t yet awake.

134. “Okay, this mind-fuck is officially over. You hear me? I want out.”
Nothing happened. Rissa felt suddenly claustrophobic and panicky.

135. She picked one of the walls and slammed her fist into it. “Let me the HELL out of
here!” she yelled, as her hand made a dull thump against the wall. “Let me out, let
me out, LET ME…”
“Rissa? Rissa, wake up!”

136. “…out.”
Rissa opened her eyes to find Rishell and Lora staring at her with concern.
“You were yelling, and thrashing around,” said Rishell. “It woke us up.”
“Uh. Right. Bad dream.”
“Sounded worse than just plain old bad,” said Lora.

137. “Yeah, well, I’m awake now. You two should go back to bed.”
“So should you. It’s nearly four in the morning.”
“Awesome. I think I’ll go for a walk.”

138. “Okay!” said Rishell. “I’m going back to bed.”
Lora eyed Rissa as though she were crazy. “Did you not hear what I just said? Four. In
the morning.”
“I heard you. I just don’t wanna go back to sleep after that. Can’t hurt or me to be
clearin’ my head now, can it? Also, the rum might be talkin’ a bit here.”
“Oh, so you disappeared off to a bar? Nice o you to invite us along.”
“Lora, I ain’t doing this now. I’ll fill you all in tomorrow.”

139. “Fine then, crazy. If you fall over and hit your head on a rock on the beach, I’m going
to laugh at your sorry, drunk ass.”
“I love you too, Lora. Now where the hell are my boots?”

140. The beach was different at night. Everything was deep blue and silver, and the sand
was cool rather than warm. It was nice, just sitting and letting the spray cool her
skin.
“I know you’re there,” she said, as a nearly imperceptible shadow fell across her
knee. “When I said I was goin’ for a walk, I meant alone. So, whichever of Rishell or
Lora you are, shove off.”

141. “Since I’m neither, can I stay?” Theo sat on the sand next to her.
“And what the hell are you still awake for?”
“I keep weird hours during my normal job. And I didn’t drink nearly as much as you
did.”
“I’m kind of regretting that now,” said Rissa mildly.
“Don’t. You enjoyed it at the time, so don’t regret it.”

142. Rissa glanced sideways at him. “Mother of cheese, you have a lot of hair. How d’you
keep it under control when you’re doing your islander thing?”
“An unholy amount of hair gel,” said Theo, amused. “I prefer to wash it out in my
downtime.”
“Looks good on you,” Rissa offered. “But that’s probably the booze talking.”
“You can’t possibly be that drunk,” chuckled Theo.

143. “Well, no, I’m not. But I needed to save face.”
“Of course. Why do I always find you on the beach? Don’t you like swimming?”
“Swimming’s fine, but the salt water’s bad for my hair colour. Chlorine’s worse, but
this is bad enough.”
“Ahh. That explains a lot.”

144. They sat there on the beach for some time in companionable silence. The waves
crashed around them as they stared into the water, neither willing to say what they
were both thinking.
Eventually, Rissa stood up, and Theo followed suit.

145. “Leaving already?”
“Thought I ought to see if I could order some pancakes from room service, or
something.”
“Well, you could do that. Or, we could go up to Kingfisher Bluff and watch the sun
rise. It’s almost dawn.”
“Would there be pancakes when we came back?”
“Most likely.”

146. Surprising herself, Rissa leaned in and kissed him. He chuckled and wrapped his arms
around her, muttering something like ‘it’s about bloody time’ before returning the
kiss warmly.

147. When they finally broke apart, he grinned. “Told you so.”
“Yeah, yeah, shut up. Let’s go chase the sunrise.”

148. …