Chapter 4.4 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

1. Welcome once again to The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy! If you haven't read any of the previous chapters, it would probably be a good idea to do so. This chapter is going to be introduced by Cee, the Simself of charris. Charris writes the brilliant Regacy, which you should definitely read.

2. "Greetings, Fire. I must thank you for the bonnet." No problem. Do you like the new hair? It's Victorian, sorry, but it goes rather nicely with the bonnet. "It is quite lovely, thank you. Shall we begin the recap?" I think so.

3. "Well, in the last chapter, the generation four heir, Bella Chandler, returned to her anscestral home in Veronaville." Not without some drama. "Indeed, she has had several attempts on her life by her fiendish cousin Stella."

4. Who is now an evil witch. Can anyone say, uh oh? "I certainly can. I fear for Bella." Especially since Stella is hellbent on taking over the Legacy.

5. "However, Bella has managed to survive thus far, and is now attempting to create the next generation with Ryker." Yes. I left the last chapter on a bit of a cliffhanger - was there a lullaby or not? "Well, we shall find out soon."

6. Thanks, Cee. "My pleasure." On with the show!

7. And now to fix the cliffhanger... Ding ding ding! Bella's pregnant. Isn't that fabulous?

8. "Um. No. Not really." Aww, poor Bella has morning sickness. "Blue morning sickness, apparently. What have I been eating?" Must be all those ramen noodles.

9. I turn my back for FIVE SECONDS and the freaking fireplace sets fire to the couch in one of the sitting rooms. And it's a huge fire and guess who forgot to put fire alarms in the sitting rooms?

10. Not to worry though, it's handy having a witch in the family who knows Exflammo. I haven't actually seen this spell before, it's kind of pretty. "Hey, Fire! I put you out!" Ha ha, very funny. I shall crop you out of the slide now. "Awww."

11. "Promotion!" Great. Go put your feet up. You are pregnant after all. "Ugh. Good idea."

12. Here beginneth the Night of Craziness. I was running around trying to get pictures of everything that happened. First, this guy made an appearance, d'oh!

13. Then Bella decided it would be a good time to pop... "Baby!" Not just yet, Bells.

14. THEN the police guy finally kicked the butt of the burglar but strangely neither Bella nor Beka have memories of the break-in... "We're repressing, thanks very much."

15. And through all this chaos, Ryker decided to drop off a freaking fountain! A fountain! For a good date! Sims are very strange creatures.

16. "Hello? Yes, I'd like to retire. I'm getting a bit old to run SCIA, plus my daughter's pregnant and will need assistance in raising her children." She gets a huge pension, too. These guys are certainly not hurting for cash.

17. "Bella, I'll be around all the time now, so you can get back to your job once you've had the baby. I know that Fire wants you to have that LTW fulfilled." "Thanks, mum." This is just cute. "You mean, nauseating?"

18. Oh no. Not you again. "Me again. And Plan F is in full swing!" I'll bet. "Just one more year of college, then the Chandlers are going DOWN."

19. Jackie, you're back. "Well, I'm back. I'm a little suspicious of this Stella chick, but if she's related to the Chandlers and she needs a placeholder, what choice do I have?" She has no idea what she's getting into.

20. "Hey, Fire?" Yes, what? "Graduation! I'm outta here at last!" Oh. No. No way.

21. "Way. Toodles. Driver, get me to 50 Pearl Road, Veronaville." "Of course, miss." Times like these I wish I could just stick my hands though the computer screen and haul her out.

22. "Well, this is the place. My new home. It's too light, it needs more black marble and dead trees." Little ray of sunshine, aren't you? "I might ask the Head Witch for decorating tips."

23. "Stella! You're out of college! And... you're a witch?" "Yes! An evil witch! And I've come to destroy you!" "What?" "Silly Bella, did you really think I was your friend? I have wanted you dead from day one! And I'll take your mother out too!" "What have you done with your family?" "They're safe... for now. I intend to dispose of them next!"

24. " Inflammo! " "Agh! Fire!" What? "No, FIRE!" Beka, DO SOMETHING!

25. " Exflammo! " "Ohh... that's better." "Noo! My evil plan, foiled again!"

26. "Had you forgotten I was a witch, alien spawn? You have threatened my daughter for the last time! Expello Simae! " "Foolish good witch, I have more power in my little finger than you have in your entire body!"

27. "I will destroy you... hey! What's happening!" Banishment spell, Stella. You're going down. "Wait, what?"

28. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You cannot do this to me!" "Game over, Stella." "Oh mum, she was my friend." "She was never your friend, honey. She wanted to kill you." "Why didn't you tell me, Fire?" I couldn't. I'm bound by Creator/Sim laws as much as you are.

29. "And good triumphs over evil once again!" "Ouch, my back. I hope the baby's okay." We'd better find out where Beka sent Stella, huh?

30. "Whoa! Where am I?" You wosrt nightmare. "Funny, I don't see any kittens." Oh, hilarious. You should do stand-up.

31. You're actually in the Veronaville Asylum for the Criminally Insane. Well, part of it. A special solitary unit was made especially for you. "When?" When you first declared war on the Chandlers. "Ugh. Things can't get any worse than this."

32. Wrong. This is John Smith, the caretaker. He'll be doing all the things you can't, such as paying bills and recycling newspapers. "Hello." "Him? HIM!??!?!"

33. "I will have my revenge!" Sure. Bye bye, Stella. "No! I'm still the primary antagonist! Let me out!" Have a nice life.

34. Well, look who's back. How's it going, Susan? "Not too bad, thank you. I hear my granddaughter has finally begun her heirly duties." Yep. She's up the spout. "Good. Perhaps I should go scare her." Scare a pregnant woman? You'll kill her!

35. *pop* "Oop. There I go again. I feel like a house." Blame your boyfriend. It's his fault, after all. "Um, who's in charge of choosing between "WooHoo" and "Try For Baby" here?" Um. Him? *shifty eyes*

36. Oh dear. Things really have been getting on top of me lately. Poor old Popcorn. "Mrow?" This is most irregular. It's not even human.

37. "Popcorn!" Oh well, it's on the list. All right, kitty, jump into the light... Goodbye, Popcorn. We'll miss you.

38. Here's where I've put her until further notice. I'm thinking of sending her urn to Zoey and Sam - Zoey was particularly close to her.

39. "Fire? Little problem here." What's up? "We-ell, I believe I'm in labour." Well, you'd probably know. "Okay. I'm in labour. Get me a freaking caesar!" Sorry, Sims don't have caesars. You'll have to suffer.

40. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Breathe, Bella. "You're going down, Fire. Right after I kill Ryker for getting me into this." *sigh* Highly strung legacy females.

41. "Ooh, a baby!" Well, pregnancy and labour generally result in a baby, Bella.

42. Everyone, meet Matthew James Chandler. He has his mother's skintone and eyes, and his father's black hair. Hooray for the end of brunettes. "Zoey's a redhead." Yeah, but since black hair's dominant it's unlikely that the next heir will be a brunette.

43. "Aww, little one, you may not be the next heir, but I still love you." "Goo?" And no noticeable evil genius gene. Mind you, I said that with Daniel and look how things turned out there.

44. What are you doing, Beka? "Freeing Daniel from whatever Stella did to him and his family." Excellent. Let's go over and see what's happened.

45. "Hey! The wall disapppeared! We're free!" And that's one more happy ending. I'm probably not going to play Daniel and Shenene again, so this is where we say goodbye to them. Have a nice life.

46. Squirrel cheeks! "Shush. It's Matt's birthday and he's kinda too young to blow them out himself." That's what you think. He looks fairly smug to me.

47. Oh, I took a decent growy-uppy shot for once. "So... sparkly..."

48. "Yay!" Aww, he's a cutie, except he inherited Damion's I-ran-into-a-brick-wall nose. Um. Personality is 10/3/9/9/1. He's mean! Didn't see that one coming, Bella has ten nice points. "I not mean. I nice!" He's in denial.

49. Get going, you two. I need an heir. Preferably several, actually, I want Stella off my neck. "She's off your neck. She's in prison, remember?" Yeah, but if you have three more boys, she gets heirship anyway. "Right. Let's get biz-zay."

50. It took two days. TWO DAYS FOR A FRACKING LULLABY! Oh well. She's pregnant now.

51. "You're such a beautiful boy. You make your grandmother proud." "Grandma glow just like Matty!" I think I see a future warlock here. It'll fit him, what with the nose and all. Isn't it such a lovely, arsty shot?

52. Oh, look who's back. Hello, Popcorn. "Mrow?" Don't worry, I will be bringing pets back into the Legacy. Somehow.

53. "Daddy! Daddy!" "You look just like your mother, son." "Daddy pick Matty up!" I'm hoping that Ryker'll be around a lot more often than the previous Legacy dads. This seems fairly likely, he and Bella are so much in love.

54. "Whee!" "Oof, he's heavy!" SuperDad he is not. Oh well.

55. "Um, Fire?" What is it now, Bella? "I believe you neglected to tell me I was pregnant."

56. "See?" Hell yes, first pregnancy without morning sickness. Bella, you are my new favourite Sim. "Great, great. Does this mean I have to go through labour again?" Yeah, sorry about that.

57. o_O I didn't know ghosts could interact like this. "C'mon, Popcorn, get the nice ectoplasmic cat teaser." "Mrow!"

58. Okay, the game went really weird at this point - there was a thunderstorm and three ghosts wandering around at the same time. Things got a tad glitchy. Like this.

59. Growy-uppy time again! I was hoping that Bella'd pop before this, but she's not even in second stage. Oh well. "Make a wish, Matt honey." "Pretty lights!"

60. So as not to disappoint anyone, I took a fantastically crappy growing-up shot. Again. "Whee!" See? No glowy lights, no spinning, just a kid jumping in the air. Ugh.

61. "Hands!" Eesh, all kids do this. It's like they've never seen their hands before. "They're bigger, okay? Is that okay with you, weird creator-person?" Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Yikes. He may not hate the gene, but he sure is mean.

62. *pop* That's stage two, people. "So I'm going to pop soon?" In roughly 24 hours, yes. "But the headmaster's coming around then." Oh. Crud.

63. HAUNTED MICROWAVE! Okay, Popcorn's ghost is starting to annoy me. Holly and Susan are quite content to wander around the yard after making sure their beds are still there, but Popcorn has to haunt stuff.

64. So I've given her urn to Zoey. Zoey has more space in her yard for a pet cemetary. "Take care of this, sis." "Sure thing. You think pink daisies will look good around the tombstone?" Ugh. Pink freak.

65. And there you have it. Popcorn gets a decent resting place, and is unlikely to do any more haunting. So glad I'm not playing for points here. Otherwise the Free Roaming Ghost handicap would be out the window.

66. Bella's due to pop any time now. Dr McBadTaste the private school headmaster has arrived. Beka hasn't put out the lobster yet. Matt has to to his homework. ARGH!

67. Actually, we get in, surprisingly. I manage to get Bella into bed, Matt to do his homework, and Beka to schmooze her way around the chaos. 114/90, not a bad effort. "All my work, thank you!" Hey, I'm the one in charge of the pie menu. "True."

68. Despite my careful planning, Bella gives birth unexpectedly in the kitchen. "Yeah, thanks. Oooh, boy, why'd I sign up for this again?" Because I made you? "That'd be why. AAAAAAARGH!"

69. "Hey! It's another baby!" Well, people, we have our potential heiress (unless I decide to make Bella have another kid, and it turns out to be a girl). Meet Temperance Fiona Chandler. Temperance is named after Temperance Brennan from Kathy Reich's novels... NOT the TV series 'Bones'. The books are better.

70. "She's cute." A carbon copy of her brother - Bella's skintone and eyes, Ryker's hair. I really hope I don't have the firstborn effect... but I'm so bad with faces, how could I possibly tell?

71. I want a third baby Chandler, so I invited Ry over for Attempt #6346345. Holly, however, has other ideas. "Hello, dear. How's heirship going for you?" "Fine, um, great-grandmama. I'm actually, er, about to try for another child. So if you could let me go..." "Oh, of course. How silly of me. Boogah boogah and all that, too." :)

72. And we have... no lullaby. Crud. Oh well. Try, try again.

73. Aww, Ry's really good at the dad stuff. He immediately went over to Tempe's crib and fed her. It's sweet. "Hey, Family Sim here." Really? *checks* Oh, you are too. Silly me.

74. Beka's loving the fairy-grandmother job too. "Oh, hilarious." I thought so.

75. Promotion? "Promotion. I'm thiiiiiiis close to perma-plat." The way you're going, you'll max your lifetime meter first. "At least I'm trying." *pouts*

76. "Mum! Mum! I got an A+!" "That's great, honey. Now, Mummy has to go throw up." "Ge-ross!" Throw up?

77. "Blaargh." Clearly your liason with Ryker last night worked. "I will never forgive you." Yeah, you will. One day.

78. Yay! Birthday! Okay, Tempe looks smug, Bella's doing the squirrel cheek thing, and Beka looks awfully like a college stalker. This is just WRONG.

79. And then the picture makes it look like Tempe's been impaled on the light. We have a trifecta of crappiness, people. "Goo?"

80. Uh oh. Her personality is 10/3/9/9/1. She has the Damion nose. Sound familiar? She LOOKS like a female clone of Matt. Again, I'm bad with faces, so I could be wrong. But, yeah, it looks like the firstborn effect. Frammit.

81. That's the end of this chapter. Join us next time to find out if Tempe will be our heir, or if I have to have another heir poll. "And to find out if Baby Three has the firstborn effect too." Yes. I will go roll the dice in CAS now. Thanks for reminding me. "Anytime."