Chapter 1.1 of The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy

1. Welcome to The Absolutely Crazy Matriarchy! I am your host, TheFireEternal… or just Fire, if you want. As you may know, a matriarchy is a special type of legacy in which the heir MUST be female, and is not allowed to marry or move in males. The heir/founder must produce a female heir for the next generation. This matriarchy is only loosely based on the legacy challenge - I am allowing myself a little boolpropping license but I am not using any kind of CC, unless I need the Lot Debugger or InSim in an emergency.

2. Now that that’s done, shall I introduce the founder? This is Holly Chandler. Holly is named after the spunky Holly Short from the Artemis Fowl series, and the fiery Trisana Chandler from Tamora Pierce’s Circle of Magic. Her stats are 9/1/6/2/7, meaning she is neat, shy, active, serious, and nice. She is a Fortune Sim, with a LTW to be Chief of Staff. Her turn ons are brown hair and fitness, and she is turned off by stink.

3. This is Holly's house. I didn't want to go through the horror of lawn living, so I started with a 3x3 lot. "Thank goodness for that! I didn't want to sleep out in the rain! But my house has no carpet or paint! *sob*" You'll get used to it. I'll get you some when you earn some moolah. "I can do that."

4. Here's the top down view. Not much to look at, just a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. "There'll be more soon, right?" Yeah. Not in your lifetime, though. Unless you earn lots of cash.

5. "Do I have to study parenting?" Yes you do. You're a legacy founder, you need kids. Plus, you have full cooking thanks to my friend Boolprop. "Can I meet this Boolprop fellow?" In a way, you already have.

6. Oh, hi there Mr. Humble. Got a computer for us? "Oh crud, it's you again." I'm wounded.

7. "Damn, there's no job in the Medical career today." All right, you can skill until nighttime. Then we go man hunti- I mean, clubbing. "Yay! Can we go to P.U.R.E? ...Sure. Why not?

8. "You know, I'm not a big fan of chili." Shush. Be thankful you are able to cook it this early on in the legacy.

9. "Look, I'm eating it. Mmm. Yum." I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Holly. "Is he another one of your friends?" *sigh*

10. "Awesome. Dance floor, dance sphere, bar, hot tubs. Now I need to find a guy. What am I looking for, exactly?" Someone I approve of. "So you'll let me know?" Yep. You just enjoy yourself. "Can do!"

11. "Him?" Eesh. His chin is gross.

12. "Him?" Um. NO!

13. "What about him?" He has squirrel cheeks. Stop asking, I'll let you know! "All right! Yeesh!"

14. "Sho I'm thish legacy Shim, right? And I have to... wossname, have kidsh. Well, a girl kid. And the voishe only I can hear tellsh me that I can't have kidsh with you caushe you have a funny noshe." "Are you okay, lady? How many drinks have you had?" "Only one. Or two. Or maybe sheven." Holly! Did I say you could get drunk? "You're not the bossh of me!" "Who are you talking to, crazy drunk lady?" "The voishe." "Riiight."

15. "Woo, Lulu Lounge! Classhy. I think I'll have myshelf another drink." You should be looking for a guy, not getting drunk. "I can do both at the shame time!" Sure.

16. Okay, him. "He has a funny noshe!" The rest of his face is fairly normal. Beggars can't be choosers.

17. "Nishe to meet you. I'm Holly Chandler." "Juan Reamon. You are drunk, chica." "Woo, Shpanish accent! Shexy!"

18. "Sho, Juan, do ya think I'm shexy?"

19. "Indeed I do, even though you seem a little drunk." "I'm not drunk! I'm jusht a little overindulged." "Whatever, chica. Shall we dance?" Hey, two bolts! Go get 'im!

20. "He wash nishe." Yes. Now hurry and sober up so you can invite him over. "ARGH THIS WATER IS COLD!"

21. "Boy, am I glad I'm not lawn living. It'sh hailing outshide!" Okay, I can't sober you up. Off to bed, you can sleep it off and invite him over tomorrow. "Yesh. Soundsh good to me!" Go to sleep, drunky.* (*quote from the awesome webcomic Anders Loves Maria)

22. "Ooh, hangover. On the plus side, I found a medical track job!" Awesome. Now, you get to invite Juan over. "I have a headache!" That's what they all say.

23. "So meeting you last night was nice, Holly." "Yeah, same here." "Maybe I can get to know you better now you're not... overindulged." Eek, that NOSE! Oh well, if I'm lucky the heir will have Holly's nose.

24. Aww, first kiss!

25. Whoa, Holly, you move fast! "Can't... talk... sucking... face..." "Mmmmph!"

26. "Well, yesterday went well. Juan's my best friend already!" Yes, yes, now get up! The carpool will be here soon, and you need to earn some money so I can build you a nursery. Hopefully you'll get yourself promoted. "All right, all right. Be thankful I'm a morning person."

27. "Yay, a promotion AND a new friend!" Great. I'll work on the nursery, you build up a relationship with her. "Gotcha!"

28. "And so the bartender totally spilled the drink all over him!" "Gasp!" "Yay new friend!"

29. Well, thanks to your bonus, I afforded this nursery for you. You'll need a few more promotions before you can afford to take time off to have kids. "And afford some carpet. I'm sick of pulling splinters out of my feet." Ungrateful, much? If I'd been feeling nasty when I started this, you'd be on the lawn.

30. "Oh yay! Juan's come over!" "Hi Hol-mmmmph!" Eager much, Holly? "He's hot. Leave me alone." "You're cute when you talk to yourself."

31. Ahh, love. Makes the option "Try for Baby" a whole lot easier to get.

32. And Holly as usual wastes no time. She shoulda been a Romance sim. No lullaby yet, but we can hope.

33. "Hey, I get the day off since I'm on night shifts now. What to do?" You can do some painting or skilling. Take your pick. "Why painting?" To sell stuff and earn cash. "Sounds good."

34. Heyy, another promotion! "Can't talk. Too tired."

35. Yet another promotion/ That LTW seems fairly close. "Yeah yeah. Can I have the kid yet?" Holly, it could be kidS. Plus, I want you to have at least 5000 in the bank first.

36. All right! Another promotion! "That's not all..."

37. "I found this guy at work!" OMG! (This is the guy I had in mind for Holly at the start - okay, he's a face one, but he's hawt. I settled for Juan because I couldn't find... erm... Pao.)

38. Double bolt chemistry, match made in heaven! "Okay, he has a cuter nose. Can I have his baby since he has nice recessive eyes and since I have more than 5000 in the bank? Why, yes.

39. "Where have you been all my life?" "At work. With you. You never noticed me before..." "Ah, who cares now. Let's have some kids!" "You move fast." Indeed, she does. "ACK! Who said that?" "Ohh, you hear her too! This is MEANT."

40. And the love hearts appear! Poor, smitten boy. "I heard that! She's so... sexy..." She's a legacy Sim. You have no idea what you are getting into.

41. Aaand that's both of them. Go try and make an heir. If you have twins I will kill you. *giggle* "Okay then."

42. Dang, no lullaby. Healthy relationship boost though, and they'll have plenty of other chances. "I hope I don't get any more boyfriends. Two is pretty tough to handle." No, should be good. The problem with founders is that finding mates os so chancy. Your kids will be better off, thanks to the college phone deal.

43. "Yay! Money!" And a healthy aspiration boost. No more aspiration failure-ness for you. "I never did have any to start with." You got close.

44. Promotion? "Promotion. And a cold." DANGIT.

45. I've remodeled Holly's room, since she had some extra cash. Plus, she was sick of the grey and wanted pink. "You wanna kiss?" "Sure. Why don't we work on the next generation while we're at it?" These two are peas in a pod.

46. HOORAY LULLABY! "Did you say something, Fire?" Um... no. Go back to sleep. Remember, if you have twins, I'll drown you when you're an elder.

47. HOORAY LULLABY! "Did you say something, Fire?" Um... no. Go back to sleep. Remember, if you have twins, I'll drown you when you're an elder.

48. Another promotion? That's great. Means you'll have a good job to go back to. "...Tomorrow? Yes, I will. Now, I must find a friend so I can get another promotion." Naive girl.

49. "Umm, Fire? I feel... weird." Well, you were puking an awful lot earlier... "This is different.. I think."

50. "Heavens! I'm pregnant! But I have pink maternity Pjs so it's okay!" Girly much? "Nothing wrong with pink." Pleasebeagirlpleasebeagirlpleasebeagirl...

51. "The maternity isn't pink, but it's nice!" Yeah, I think so too. Personally, I don't get the huge fuss about it. I like the Maxis made maternity.

52. Second bump. Getting close now, aren't we? "I really, really hope I have a SINGLE baby girl. Twins would be hard." I agree. Keep your fingers crossed.

53. "Um, Fire?" Yes, Holly? "The baby's coming." Uh-oh. PLEASE BE A GIRL!

54. "THIS HURTS! You'll pay for this!" You'll get over it. If you're lucky, it'll be the last time as well as the first. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

55. Everyone, meet our new heir, Susan Chandler! Susan is named after Death's granddaughter in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. She has hair and eyes that could be from either parent, and a nice blended skin tone. She's a real medium. "She's beautiful... and worth it."

56. "So, does that mean I don't need any more kids?" Right. The rules are that you produce kids until you have a female heir. You've done that, we have an heir, and now you need to get her through college. "Easy." You'd think so, wouldn't you?

57. "Why do I have to work on this old wreck? I said I wanted a car, not a junkpile!" This is cheaper than a working car. It just takes longer to get working. Don't worry, it'll be great when you finish it. "Suuure."

58. "Aww, she's going to grow up soon. They grow up so fast!" Toddlers and babies do. Not so much kids and teens.

59. "Happy birthday, Susan! Let me blow out the candles for you..." "Goo?" Happy birthday, my little heir!

60. "Sparkly!"

61. Ack, she's bald! I'll have to give her a mini-makeover. Susan is a Scorpio with stats of 9/7/8/2/3. She's neat, outgoing, active, serious and grouchy. Damn, I hate mean Sims! But she's cute, so it's okay. "Of course I'm cute!" *gulp* She can hear me, and she has an abnormal vocabulary for a toddler. I see a future evil genius!

62. "Look, I taught her to walk!" Probably not a good idea at this stage, Holly. "I think it's a good idea. I can get into things now! Mua ha ha!" See why I hate mean SIms?

63. "And now she's potty trained." "Just because I know how to use it, it doesn't mean I WILL use it." She's a terror to take care of - she's always wide awake when Holly's trying to get some sleep.

64. "Birthday time again, Susan!" "Excellent. Now I will no longer be conquered by the stairs! I will be able to take over the world!" Uh oh.

65. "Yes! Hands! I have them!" You always did... "But now I can DO STUFF with them!"

66. I wanted Susan to get to know her dad, since he's been kinda absent since she was, erm, concieved. They seem to be getting along fairly well. "He is but a pawn in my evil plan." Run, Pao!

67. Getting Susan into private school was one of Holly's wants, so I decided to fulfil it. "I like hats. Hats are really interesting!" "I agree!" She got in, by the way. Over a hundred, I think. That's it for now... tune in next time for Susan's terrible teenhood, filled with evil plots and taking over the world! (Actually, I really hope this isn't true.)

68. "Mother, I think you shall be one of the building blocks for my plan to take over Veronaville." "That's nice, dear. Is the spaghetti good?" "Yes, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Oh brother.