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RECAP When we last left off (let’s see . . . *counts fingers* . . . Holy crap, 4 years ago?!  Seriously?  Wow!) gen. 5 heir Max and his wife Maddie were heading the family while June and Mary were enjoying their elder years and hitting the juice pretty hard.  Baby Prescott had just grown into a cheek-pinchingly cute toddler, and Maddie was pregnant again.  However, Max decided that was the perfect time to get abducted, and the number of children expected was up in the air.  Let’s rejoin the fertile Vermachtnis family and see what’s cooking. Welcome back to the Vermachtnis Legacy!  It’s been a long time, but these guys are still living their lives and breeding (they do that a lot, if you remember), so I had better still tell their story.  This chapter is dedicated to my friends at SiMania who welcomed me back with open arms after a long hiatus.  Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
Max’s short trip through the cosmos with his alien hosts was quite traumatic for him in several ways, the sudden return to gravity included.  I had dearly wanted to have some aliens in this legacy, so Max had been stargazing a lot, but the one time he autonomously stargazed is the one time he got abducted.  Meanwhile, Maddie is in the early stages of pregnancy, and now Max is expecting too.
Like in his college days, Max is an extremely needy sim under the best of circumstances, and these are not those circumstances.  In between being sick and running his needs down as rapidly as possible, he spends a lot of time crying about his abduction, which *almost* makes me feel sorry for him.  It reminds me a little of his childhood, when he was a favorite of the ghosts for scaring.  However, he’s always been a bit of a problem child, ever since he rolled pleasure aspiration as a teenager, and I can’t help but feel a little glee at his misery.  Evil sim controller, I know.
Still nursing his traumatic memories, Max tries to make himself as comfortable as possible, regardless of other things I might want him to be doing.  Maddie, on the other hand, finds the bathtub to be a good place for even less useful pursuits.  Since tub piracy doesn’t help anything but her fun, which, thanks to her being a pleasure sim with a high degree of autonomy, is never really in question, the only thing she’s accomplishing is shirking other duties and looking silly.
Both parents, despite being pregnant and whiny, still find time for their firstborn, precious little Prescott.  He’s a very lovable sim and everyone in the house adores him and goes out of their way to spend time with him.  Unlike Max’s grandmother, Gabi of gen 3, Maddie and Max are both pretty great parents despite being pleasure-oriented and somewhat self-centered.
In fact, they find lots of time to not just be with Prescott, but be together as a family, whether that means communal bathroom time or the treasured telling of 1001 Arabian Nights to the Wabbit.
See?  Between Prescott’s irresistibility and his parents’ obvious love for him, he is a very well taken care of little sim.
“ Max!  You’re not . . .!” “ I am.  Apparently.  This wasn’t my idea, per se.  Nope, no choice for Max.  I do like dessert, though.” “ Can I have some?” Roxanne: NO!  Stay away!
Besides being good parents to Prescott, these two find plenty of time to be sweet to each other.  Although they often annoy me, I can’t help but warm up to them when they’re being all considerate and supportive of each other.  It’s out of character, sure, but it’s *cute*! Max’s loose hoodie does a much better job of camouflaging his pregnancy than does Maddie’s tight camisole.
Late one evening while Max’s half-brother Mickey and June’s sister-in-law Katie are visiting, Maddie finally gives birth.  Let’s see that little baby! (Also, how adorable and funny is waddling Max?)
Oh my, two babies!  Darn it, again these two find ways to inconvenience me.  I swear I kept Maddie away from the cheesecake, but she goes and has twins to spite me anyway.  Guess it’ll be another nine sims in the household kind of generation. *sigh* On the left is firstborn Penelope, a blonde and green-eyed little baby, just like Prescott.  On the right is Paul, her red-haired, grey-eyed twin.  I dearly wanted to get recessive eyes into the family after four generations of dominant blue or brown eyed babies, and it’s finally happening thanks to Maddie’s green eyes.  The grey eyes come from Max’s deceased mother, Edith.
With Max still waddling around in his skivvies and feeding his face instead of paying attention, it’s time for little Prescott’s birthday.  Hopefully he keeps up with the cuteness!
“ No pictures, please!”
Despite his initial reticence to be photographed, Prescott continues to be adorable.  He’s such a well-mannered and sweet little kid – an absolute delight.
Suddenly, a cry is heard throughout the house – the piteous wail of someone immature and unable to fully care for themselves.  But what’s this?  Little babies Penelope and Paul are sleeping soundly.  Who could be making that racket?
Oh, right, the big baby. “ MOOOOMMMMMM!  Help me!” “ Mm, nope, I’m good.” “ MARY!  Please!” “ I’m getting some juice.  You can just wait.” The maid: “I’m coming!”
Awwwww.  Extraterrestrial nooboo number one is born with only the maid to witness.  She seems appropriately distraught at Max’s family’s callous disregard for this momentous occasion.
Eventually June shows up again to take the first alien while Max has the second.
Max’s first baby is little Parker, a brown-haired baby with alien eyes.  On the right is the youngest, Palmer, with brown hair and dark blue eyes.  In this picture the skin is actually glitching so he just has ‘neutral’ eyes, but trust me, he has dark blue eyes. I am delighted with these twins, especially with the difference in eyes.  Although we now have four babies in the house, seeing all of the babies with different genetics makes me pretty happy.  Three boys and one girl, plus one more boy who’s a child.  Guess this is an XY-saturated generation.
Here’s all five of the generation six children, plus their enormous teddy bear statue.  Although the births were pretty clustered, this is another moderately large generation, and I decided to stop with five, which turned out to be a good decision because . . .
. . . raising four babies at once is really freakin’ hard, you guys.  Even with a nanny and four adults in the house, it’s pure chaos.
Max and Maddie keep working on her lifetime want, to have 50 dream dates.  Max’s want, 50 first dates, was satisfied in college with Maddie being his 50 th  date. “ Hey, Maddie, I didn’t hear any music this time.” “ I removed the darn radio, just to be safe.  No more for me, thank you.”
Time for the human twins to grow up. Penelope and Paul are both adorable toddlers and make a very dashing pair of matching twins, all ready for the fancy dress party hosted by the about-to-explode toilet.
Same day, same event, different twins. I think Parker and Palmer are even cuter than their half-siblings.  I love Palmer’s huge eyes.
Raising four toddlers proves to be even more difficult than four babies.  To keep everyone satisfied, four potty chairs have taken over the nursery bathroom.  It’s a battle to teach everyone their toddler skills.
Oh, Max!  Not you too!  Our constantly-drinking elders were bad enough, but now you have to end your streak of ignoring the bar? “ I have been driven to drink by the incessant bodily functions of my offspring.  Also, I am still none too pleased about being abducted.” Shouldn’t have autonomously stargazed, then. *blows raspberry*
Here’s the Vermachtnis’s new dog, Kiki.  She was raised by a neighbor and is kind of a mixed breed.  She has a very wide head.  Just thought you should know.
With the installation of Pets (told you this happened a long time ago), Prescott begins to roll constant wants for new pets, and when he gets them, to spend time with them.  He is a very good pet owner and takes good care of his womrat, Tutu.
Not everyone loves Tutu though.  Bad werewolf!
And here is Prescott’s bird, Nuggets.  Everyone else in the house couldn’t care less, but Prescott loves his animals and wants to spend time with them all the time.
The little boy playing with Prescott is, I believe, Alec Vermachtnis, his cousin.  Alec is the son of Max’s half-sister Madison and a CAS sim named Niles. Ignorant of the townie kid wandering the streets, looking for friends, Alec and Prescott immediately set to making friends after school.  A few play interactions, and they’re best friends.  Turns out it’s not just Prescott’s immediate family that loves him!
Meanwhile, the Fearsome Foursome do what toddlers do best: take turns being adorable and annoying.  They all seem to get along pretty well so far.  Palmer’s predilection for chewing on dolls is a little concerning, but he assures me, “Humans yummy!” so I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.
Strict quarantine is maintained to ensure that they don’t constantly wake each other up.  It’s the only way to make sure the toddlers get enough sleep, because otherwise there’s always one little stinker that wakes up early and cries.
I never got around to introducing the kids individually after they grew up, so let’s go ahead and do that now.  Penelope, the oldest of the four, is a darling little girl with a personality of 6/4/7/4/9.  Very nice and active little thing!  No wonder she looks just like Prescott though – she’s his clone.  Oh well.  Of the four kidlets, she’s the quietest and most well behaved.
Paul here is 6/5/7/6/3.  Considering their parents are complete slobs, it’s nice to see a little neatness creep back into the genes.  Paul isn’t very nice, but he seems to get along well enough for a toddler.  He’s another pretty active one.
My two alien twins have fascinating personalities.  Palmer, the youngest of the four toddlers, is 10/8/0/10/0.  Mean and lazy, but super neat and playful and very outgoing.  Hmm, an outgoing sim with playful tendencies and a mean streak?  Sounds like he’ll be pretty interesting to play!  I’m seeing a lot of pranks in his future.  Palmer is the number one trouble maker in this generation so far, partially because he is absolutely drawn to the toilet like a potty magnet.
And here’s Parker, the um . . . simplest of the four.  I try to keep the nursery pretty clean, but if there is a rotting bottle, he makes a beeline for it and so threw up a lot during his toddler years.  His personality is also interesting – 10/10/1/8/3.  His personality is pretty similar in a lot of ways to Palmer, but he seems to be a much calmer toddler than his twin nonetheless.
Much like her older clone Prescott, Penelope is a favorite of the adults.  I got very few shots of the kids doing things as toddlers and they didn’t learn much besides potty-training because these were pretty hectic times for everyone concerned, yours truly included.
The four little ones are corralled into the nursery and set down as close to one another as possible . . . So that I could get this awesome shot!  No cakes for the Fearsome Foursome – they just grew up in an absolute fireworks show.
And here’s all five of the kids plus the pets of this generation.  From left to right are Paul, Nuggets, Penelope, Palmer, Parker, Prescott and Tutu, and Kiki in front.  They’re all just as adorable as kids as they were as toddlers.  Kiki is kind of everyone’s pet and is well-loved by the family, but Tutu and Nuggets are purely Prescott’s.
“ Palmer has a couple of pets, too.” What’s that, Parker?  When did he get pets? “ He just caught them.” He . . . caught . . . them? “ You should probably check on him.” No kidding.  What is my little alien spawn up to now?
“ MUAHAHAHA!  This cage is perfect!” Oh no, Palmer, what have you done? “ Oh, just caught a couple specimens.  For observation, you know.  Definitely not for testing.  Or fiendish schemes.” Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, we do not keep people as . . . pets. “ I do!”
“ You know you’re going to be arrested, right? “ The law can’t touch me, Prescott.  I am beyond you humans and your petty ideals of justice.” “ Hee, this cage is hilarious!  Nice going, Palmer!  Tee hee!” Penelope, don’t encourage him.
“ Can I borrow a few phonebooks, Palmer?” “Nope.” “ I can’t see all of the board, though . . .” “ Excellent.  Just as planned!  Um, checkmate!” “ But we just started.  I’ve only moved one pawn.” “ You’re thinking of human rules.  This is alien chess.  I win.  Always.”
“ Hey Mr. Landgraab, want some lemonade?  It’s my special recipe!” “ Heh, sure, kid.  Love to see an enterprising young fellow.  Reminds me of myself at your age.  Here’s a quarter.”  *drinks* “ It’s five bucks.” “ What?  Hmm, aren’t you the little capitalist.  Oh, I feel . . . funny . . .”
A short while later . . . “ What the . . .?  Where am I?  What happened?  WHAT WAS IN THAT LEMONDADE?!” Oh, dear.  Palmer now has three captives.  This is getting serious.  Hopefully his parents will put a stop to this!
Or not. Max and Maddie are still working on her 50 dream dates.  It’s pretty much all they do these days, which suits them just fine.  Stupid pleasure sims. *grumble*
Outside . . . “ I can’t take it anymore!  This carpet is giving me a headache.  Let me out!” Cheerleader: “I feel . . . so . . . hungry . . .”
Whoops!  You know how kids are, forgetting to feed their pets once in a while.  That’s why every kid with a pet human should have a responsible adult backing them up, for the human’s welfare. Palmer put down carpet in the pen so the pee puddles wouldn’t spawn weeds in the yard.  He may be a devious megalomaniacal little cretin, but he’s a *resourceful* one.
What do you have to say for yourself? “ I regret nothing.” Anything else? “ I hope Malcolm goes next.” Well, okay then.
And that’s the end of our story for now.  Please enjoy this final slide of Max and our extremely well-trained dog doing their business together. Next time . . . Will Palmer’s captives survive?  What plans does he have for them? How will the kids grow up?  What aspirations will they get?  How will they do in college? And an heir poll!  Hurray! Thanks for reading!

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Vermachtnis Legacy Chapter 9

  • 1.  
  • 2. RECAP When we last left off (let’s see . . . *counts fingers* . . . Holy crap, 4 years ago?! Seriously? Wow!) gen. 5 heir Max and his wife Maddie were heading the family while June and Mary were enjoying their elder years and hitting the juice pretty hard. Baby Prescott had just grown into a cheek-pinchingly cute toddler, and Maddie was pregnant again. However, Max decided that was the perfect time to get abducted, and the number of children expected was up in the air. Let’s rejoin the fertile Vermachtnis family and see what’s cooking. Welcome back to the Vermachtnis Legacy! It’s been a long time, but these guys are still living their lives and breeding (they do that a lot, if you remember), so I had better still tell their story. This chapter is dedicated to my friends at SiMania who welcomed me back with open arms after a long hiatus. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!
  • 3. Max’s short trip through the cosmos with his alien hosts was quite traumatic for him in several ways, the sudden return to gravity included. I had dearly wanted to have some aliens in this legacy, so Max had been stargazing a lot, but the one time he autonomously stargazed is the one time he got abducted. Meanwhile, Maddie is in the early stages of pregnancy, and now Max is expecting too.
  • 4. Like in his college days, Max is an extremely needy sim under the best of circumstances, and these are not those circumstances. In between being sick and running his needs down as rapidly as possible, he spends a lot of time crying about his abduction, which *almost* makes me feel sorry for him. It reminds me a little of his childhood, when he was a favorite of the ghosts for scaring. However, he’s always been a bit of a problem child, ever since he rolled pleasure aspiration as a teenager, and I can’t help but feel a little glee at his misery. Evil sim controller, I know.
  • 5. Still nursing his traumatic memories, Max tries to make himself as comfortable as possible, regardless of other things I might want him to be doing. Maddie, on the other hand, finds the bathtub to be a good place for even less useful pursuits. Since tub piracy doesn’t help anything but her fun, which, thanks to her being a pleasure sim with a high degree of autonomy, is never really in question, the only thing she’s accomplishing is shirking other duties and looking silly.
  • 6. Both parents, despite being pregnant and whiny, still find time for their firstborn, precious little Prescott. He’s a very lovable sim and everyone in the house adores him and goes out of their way to spend time with him. Unlike Max’s grandmother, Gabi of gen 3, Maddie and Max are both pretty great parents despite being pleasure-oriented and somewhat self-centered.
  • 7. In fact, they find lots of time to not just be with Prescott, but be together as a family, whether that means communal bathroom time or the treasured telling of 1001 Arabian Nights to the Wabbit.
  • 8. See? Between Prescott’s irresistibility and his parents’ obvious love for him, he is a very well taken care of little sim.
  • 9. “ Max! You’re not . . .!” “ I am. Apparently. This wasn’t my idea, per se. Nope, no choice for Max. I do like dessert, though.” “ Can I have some?” Roxanne: NO! Stay away!
  • 10. Besides being good parents to Prescott, these two find plenty of time to be sweet to each other. Although they often annoy me, I can’t help but warm up to them when they’re being all considerate and supportive of each other. It’s out of character, sure, but it’s *cute*! Max’s loose hoodie does a much better job of camouflaging his pregnancy than does Maddie’s tight camisole.
  • 11. Late one evening while Max’s half-brother Mickey and June’s sister-in-law Katie are visiting, Maddie finally gives birth. Let’s see that little baby! (Also, how adorable and funny is waddling Max?)
  • 12. Oh my, two babies! Darn it, again these two find ways to inconvenience me. I swear I kept Maddie away from the cheesecake, but she goes and has twins to spite me anyway. Guess it’ll be another nine sims in the household kind of generation. *sigh* On the left is firstborn Penelope, a blonde and green-eyed little baby, just like Prescott. On the right is Paul, her red-haired, grey-eyed twin. I dearly wanted to get recessive eyes into the family after four generations of dominant blue or brown eyed babies, and it’s finally happening thanks to Maddie’s green eyes. The grey eyes come from Max’s deceased mother, Edith.
  • 13. With Max still waddling around in his skivvies and feeding his face instead of paying attention, it’s time for little Prescott’s birthday. Hopefully he keeps up with the cuteness!
  • 14. “ No pictures, please!”
  • 15. Despite his initial reticence to be photographed, Prescott continues to be adorable. He’s such a well-mannered and sweet little kid – an absolute delight.
  • 16. Suddenly, a cry is heard throughout the house – the piteous wail of someone immature and unable to fully care for themselves. But what’s this? Little babies Penelope and Paul are sleeping soundly. Who could be making that racket?
  • 17. Oh, right, the big baby. “ MOOOOMMMMMM! Help me!” “ Mm, nope, I’m good.” “ MARY! Please!” “ I’m getting some juice. You can just wait.” The maid: “I’m coming!”
  • 18. Awwwww. Extraterrestrial nooboo number one is born with only the maid to witness. She seems appropriately distraught at Max’s family’s callous disregard for this momentous occasion.
  • 19. Eventually June shows up again to take the first alien while Max has the second.
  • 20. Max’s first baby is little Parker, a brown-haired baby with alien eyes. On the right is the youngest, Palmer, with brown hair and dark blue eyes. In this picture the skin is actually glitching so he just has ‘neutral’ eyes, but trust me, he has dark blue eyes. I am delighted with these twins, especially with the difference in eyes. Although we now have four babies in the house, seeing all of the babies with different genetics makes me pretty happy. Three boys and one girl, plus one more boy who’s a child. Guess this is an XY-saturated generation.
  • 21. Here’s all five of the generation six children, plus their enormous teddy bear statue. Although the births were pretty clustered, this is another moderately large generation, and I decided to stop with five, which turned out to be a good decision because . . .
  • 22. . . . raising four babies at once is really freakin’ hard, you guys. Even with a nanny and four adults in the house, it’s pure chaos.
  • 23. Max and Maddie keep working on her lifetime want, to have 50 dream dates. Max’s want, 50 first dates, was satisfied in college with Maddie being his 50 th date. “ Hey, Maddie, I didn’t hear any music this time.” “ I removed the darn radio, just to be safe. No more for me, thank you.”
  • 24. Time for the human twins to grow up. Penelope and Paul are both adorable toddlers and make a very dashing pair of matching twins, all ready for the fancy dress party hosted by the about-to-explode toilet.
  • 25. Same day, same event, different twins. I think Parker and Palmer are even cuter than their half-siblings. I love Palmer’s huge eyes.
  • 26. Raising four toddlers proves to be even more difficult than four babies. To keep everyone satisfied, four potty chairs have taken over the nursery bathroom. It’s a battle to teach everyone their toddler skills.
  • 27. Oh, Max! Not you too! Our constantly-drinking elders were bad enough, but now you have to end your streak of ignoring the bar? “ I have been driven to drink by the incessant bodily functions of my offspring. Also, I am still none too pleased about being abducted.” Shouldn’t have autonomously stargazed, then. *blows raspberry*
  • 28. Here’s the Vermachtnis’s new dog, Kiki. She was raised by a neighbor and is kind of a mixed breed. She has a very wide head. Just thought you should know.
  • 29. With the installation of Pets (told you this happened a long time ago), Prescott begins to roll constant wants for new pets, and when he gets them, to spend time with them. He is a very good pet owner and takes good care of his womrat, Tutu.
  • 30. Not everyone loves Tutu though. Bad werewolf!
  • 31. And here is Prescott’s bird, Nuggets. Everyone else in the house couldn’t care less, but Prescott loves his animals and wants to spend time with them all the time.
  • 32. The little boy playing with Prescott is, I believe, Alec Vermachtnis, his cousin. Alec is the son of Max’s half-sister Madison and a CAS sim named Niles. Ignorant of the townie kid wandering the streets, looking for friends, Alec and Prescott immediately set to making friends after school. A few play interactions, and they’re best friends. Turns out it’s not just Prescott’s immediate family that loves him!
  • 33. Meanwhile, the Fearsome Foursome do what toddlers do best: take turns being adorable and annoying. They all seem to get along pretty well so far. Palmer’s predilection for chewing on dolls is a little concerning, but he assures me, “Humans yummy!” so I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.
  • 34. Strict quarantine is maintained to ensure that they don’t constantly wake each other up. It’s the only way to make sure the toddlers get enough sleep, because otherwise there’s always one little stinker that wakes up early and cries.
  • 35. I never got around to introducing the kids individually after they grew up, so let’s go ahead and do that now. Penelope, the oldest of the four, is a darling little girl with a personality of 6/4/7/4/9. Very nice and active little thing! No wonder she looks just like Prescott though – she’s his clone. Oh well. Of the four kidlets, she’s the quietest and most well behaved.
  • 36. Paul here is 6/5/7/6/3. Considering their parents are complete slobs, it’s nice to see a little neatness creep back into the genes. Paul isn’t very nice, but he seems to get along well enough for a toddler. He’s another pretty active one.
  • 37. My two alien twins have fascinating personalities. Palmer, the youngest of the four toddlers, is 10/8/0/10/0. Mean and lazy, but super neat and playful and very outgoing. Hmm, an outgoing sim with playful tendencies and a mean streak? Sounds like he’ll be pretty interesting to play! I’m seeing a lot of pranks in his future. Palmer is the number one trouble maker in this generation so far, partially because he is absolutely drawn to the toilet like a potty magnet.
  • 38. And here’s Parker, the um . . . simplest of the four. I try to keep the nursery pretty clean, but if there is a rotting bottle, he makes a beeline for it and so threw up a lot during his toddler years. His personality is also interesting – 10/10/1/8/3. His personality is pretty similar in a lot of ways to Palmer, but he seems to be a much calmer toddler than his twin nonetheless.
  • 39. Much like her older clone Prescott, Penelope is a favorite of the adults. I got very few shots of the kids doing things as toddlers and they didn’t learn much besides potty-training because these were pretty hectic times for everyone concerned, yours truly included.
  • 40. The four little ones are corralled into the nursery and set down as close to one another as possible . . . So that I could get this awesome shot! No cakes for the Fearsome Foursome – they just grew up in an absolute fireworks show.
  • 41. And here’s all five of the kids plus the pets of this generation. From left to right are Paul, Nuggets, Penelope, Palmer, Parker, Prescott and Tutu, and Kiki in front. They’re all just as adorable as kids as they were as toddlers. Kiki is kind of everyone’s pet and is well-loved by the family, but Tutu and Nuggets are purely Prescott’s.
  • 42. “ Palmer has a couple of pets, too.” What’s that, Parker? When did he get pets? “ He just caught them.” He . . . caught . . . them? “ You should probably check on him.” No kidding. What is my little alien spawn up to now?
  • 43. “ MUAHAHAHA! This cage is perfect!” Oh no, Palmer, what have you done? “ Oh, just caught a couple specimens. For observation, you know. Definitely not for testing. Or fiendish schemes.” Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, we do not keep people as . . . pets. “ I do!”
  • 44. “ You know you’re going to be arrested, right? “ The law can’t touch me, Prescott. I am beyond you humans and your petty ideals of justice.” “ Hee, this cage is hilarious! Nice going, Palmer! Tee hee!” Penelope, don’t encourage him.
  • 45. “ Can I borrow a few phonebooks, Palmer?” “Nope.” “ I can’t see all of the board, though . . .” “ Excellent. Just as planned! Um, checkmate!” “ But we just started. I’ve only moved one pawn.” “ You’re thinking of human rules. This is alien chess. I win. Always.”
  • 46. “ Hey Mr. Landgraab, want some lemonade? It’s my special recipe!” “ Heh, sure, kid. Love to see an enterprising young fellow. Reminds me of myself at your age. Here’s a quarter.” *drinks* “ It’s five bucks.” “ What? Hmm, aren’t you the little capitalist. Oh, I feel . . . funny . . .”
  • 47. A short while later . . . “ What the . . .? Where am I? What happened? WHAT WAS IN THAT LEMONDADE?!” Oh, dear. Palmer now has three captives. This is getting serious. Hopefully his parents will put a stop to this!
  • 48. Or not. Max and Maddie are still working on her 50 dream dates. It’s pretty much all they do these days, which suits them just fine. Stupid pleasure sims. *grumble*
  • 49. Outside . . . “ I can’t take it anymore! This carpet is giving me a headache. Let me out!” Cheerleader: “I feel . . . so . . . hungry . . .”
  • 50. Whoops! You know how kids are, forgetting to feed their pets once in a while. That’s why every kid with a pet human should have a responsible adult backing them up, for the human’s welfare. Palmer put down carpet in the pen so the pee puddles wouldn’t spawn weeds in the yard. He may be a devious megalomaniacal little cretin, but he’s a *resourceful* one.
  • 51. What do you have to say for yourself? “ I regret nothing.” Anything else? “ I hope Malcolm goes next.” Well, okay then.
  • 52. And that’s the end of our story for now. Please enjoy this final slide of Max and our extremely well-trained dog doing their business together. Next time . . . Will Palmer’s captives survive? What plans does he have for them? How will the kids grow up? What aspirations will they get? How will they do in college? And an heir poll! Hurray! Thanks for reading!