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Working with difficult people

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Sugata Chowdhuri
Sugata Chowdhuri
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Working With Difficult People Feels Like Getting Pinched by a Lobster Claw! Presented by Greg McKenzie , Oregon School Boards Association Winton Goodrich , Vermont School Boards Association
Cowboy Words of Wisdom ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Coping With Difficult People Dr. Robert Bramson Dealing With People You Can’t Stand Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner
10 Most Un wanted List ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Most Un wanted List ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Most Un wanted List ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Most Un wanted List ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
10 Most Un wanted List ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],2006 NSBA Convention
Four Choices ,[object Object],[object Object]
1 st Choice ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
2 nd Choice ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
3 rd Choice ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
4 th Choice ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Observations About People ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Lens of Understanding ,[object Object],[object Object]
Patterns ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone
People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone GRENADE SNIPER THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING YES Person MAYBE Person TANK SNIPER KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING Person NO Person WHINER
Dangerous Assumptions ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Table Work ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
COMMUNICATION PROFILE GRID PEOPLE TASK ASSERTIVE COOPERATIVE 0 10 20 10 10 10 20 20 20
COMMUNICATION PROFILE GRID PEOPLE TASK ASSERTIVE COOPERATIVE 0 10 20 10 10 10 20 20 20
Question #1 ,[object Object]
[object Object]
Observers Report
Behavior Has a Purpose ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Four General Intents ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Styles ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
THE FOUR COMMUNICATION STYLES People Focus Task Focus Assertive Cooperative Amiable Analytical Driver Expressive
Which Style? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone Get Appreciated Get Along Get It Done Get It Right GRENADE SNIPER THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING YES Person MAYBE Person TANK SNIPER KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING Person NO Person WHINER
Notes ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Inherent Conflict in Decision Making Board Decisions Role Pressures Value Differences Differences in Position or Status Different Goals Differences in Perceptions Community pressures vs. professional staff pressures Viewing facts differently Conserving resources vs. expanding service New board member vs. the established member, city vs. rural Differences in belief, philosophy, political orientation
Know Your Teammates ,[object Object],[object Object]
Why Teams Underachieve ,[object Object],[object Object]
Absence of TRUST
Teams with an absence of trust . . . ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Overcoming Lack of Trust ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
2006 NSBA Convention Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
Teams that fear conflict… ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Overcoming Fear of Conflict ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
A team that fails to commit… ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Overcoming lack of commitment ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Involvement vs. Commitment ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
A team that avoids accountability… ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Overcoming Absence of Accountability ,[object Object],[object Object]
Inattention to RESULTS Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
A team that is not focused on results… ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Overcoming Inattention to Results ,[object Object],[object Object]
Inattention to RESULTS Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
Easy Steps ,[object Object],[object Object]
Listening Skills Exercise ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listening Exercise Debrief ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
’ s Closing Remarks On Resiliency…
Listening Skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listening Skills ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listening in 3 Channels ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Listening in 3 Channels ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Blending ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Blending Strategies ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Blending Strategies ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Redirecting ,[object Object],[object Object]
Tips ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Communicate Challenge ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]
Cowboy Words of Wisdom ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],2006 NSBA Convention
Attitude ,[object Object]
2006 NSBA Convention
THANK YOU

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Working with difficult people

  • 1. Working With Difficult People Feels Like Getting Pinched by a Lobster Claw! Presented by Greg McKenzie , Oregon School Boards Association Winton Goodrich , Vermont School Boards Association
  • 2.
  • 3. Coping With Difficult People Dr. Robert Bramson Dealing With People You Can’t Stand Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner
  • 4.
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  • 18. People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone
  • 19. People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone GRENADE SNIPER THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING YES Person MAYBE Person TANK SNIPER KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING Person NO Person WHINER
  • 20.
  • 21.
  • 22. COMMUNICATION PROFILE GRID PEOPLE TASK ASSERTIVE COOPERATIVE 0 10 20 10 10 10 20 20 20
  • 23. COMMUNICATION PROFILE GRID PEOPLE TASK ASSERTIVE COOPERATIVE 0 10 20 10 10 10 20 20 20
  • 24.
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  • 28.
  • 29.
  • 30. THE FOUR COMMUNICATION STYLES People Focus Task Focus Assertive Cooperative Amiable Analytical Driver Expressive
  • 31.
  • 32. People Focus Assertive Cooperative Task Focus Normal Zone Get Appreciated Get Along Get It Done Get It Right GRENADE SNIPER THINK-THEY-KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING YES Person MAYBE Person TANK SNIPER KNOW-IT-ALL NOTHING Person NO Person WHINER
  • 33.
  • 34. Inherent Conflict in Decision Making Board Decisions Role Pressures Value Differences Differences in Position or Status Different Goals Differences in Perceptions Community pressures vs. professional staff pressures Viewing facts differently Conserving resources vs. expanding service New board member vs. the established member, city vs. rural Differences in belief, philosophy, political orientation
  • 35.
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  • 37. Absence of TRUST
  • 38.
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  • 40. 2006 NSBA Convention Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
  • 41.
  • 42.
  • 43. Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
  • 44.
  • 45.
  • 46.
  • 47. Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
  • 48.
  • 49.
  • 50. Inattention to RESULTS Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
  • 51.
  • 52.
  • 53. Inattention to RESULTS Avoidance of ACCOUNTABILITY Lack of COMMITMENT Fear of CONFLICT Absence of TRUST
  • 54.
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  • 56.
  • 57. ’ s Closing Remarks On Resiliency…
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  • 69.

Editor's Notes

  1. While these are all single and separate elements, they are often all present in decision making situations and act upon each other to create the conflict.