10. The Maturity Continuum Put First Things First Begin with the End in Mind Be Proactive Sharpen the Saw Synergize Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Think Win-Win Private Victory Habit #3 Habit #2 Habit #1 Public Victory Habit #6 Habit #5 Habit #4 Renewal Habit #7
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Hinweis der Redaktion
7 Habits can help you: > Get control of your life > Improve relationships > Make smarter decisions > Define your values and what matters most > Get more done in less time > Increase your self confidence > Be happy > Find balance between work and home (and everything else!) New level of thinking It's a principle- centered, character-based, "inside-out" approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. Inside-out means to start with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self- with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. It says, if you want to have a happy marriage, be the kind of person who generates positive energy and sidesteps negative energy rather than empowering it. If you want to have more freedom, more latitude in your job, be a more responsible, a more helpful, a more contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be trustworthy. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves precedes making and keeping promises to others.
Principals and Paradigms: What you see is what you get Habit 1: Take responsibility for your life Habit 2: Control your own destiny or Someone else will Habit 3: Prioritize, and do the most important things first Habit 4: Have an every one can win attitude Habit 5: Listen to people sincerely Habit 6: Work together to achieve more Habit 7: Renew yourself regularly Getting started
Principles do not change examples: Honesty, Love, Hard work, Diversity, Respect, Gratitude, Moderation, Fairness,Integrity, Loyalty, Responsibility ( dozens more - your heart will recognize true principles) Values do change examples: perception, belief system "We are not in control, principles are in control. We control our actions, but the consequences that flow from these actions are controlled by principles." - Covey
The relationship between character and personality can be illustrated with an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg (personality) is what people see first. Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, the weight of real effectiveness lies in good character. The character ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.
The way an individual perceives, understands and interprets the surrounding world. If we want to significant changes, first we must change our paradigms. Thomas Kuhn the author of a landmark book, "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions" made a point that almost every significant breakthrough in science is first a break with tradition, old ways of thinking, or old paradigms.
The maturity continuum shows the relationships among the 7 habits, Public victory and Private victory and stages if interdependent progression. We experience a private victory when we learn self-mastery and self-discipline. We reap the public victory when we build deep, lasting, highly effective relationships with other people.
Draw the "Stimulus to Response/reactive Vs proactive" diagram Reactive people allow outside influences (moods, feelings or circumstances) to control their responses. Proactive people use the margin of freedom to make choices that best apply their values. Their freedom to choose expands as they wisely use the space between stimulus and response. Example: Victor Frankly In spite of others actions and dispositions, we make choices according to our values, purposes and vision. "It's not what people do to us that hurts us. In the most fundamental sense it is our chosen response to what they do to us that hurts us." - Covey
Habit 1 says you are the programmer - Habit 2 says write the program All things are created twice: first mentally and then physically. Write the plan, the design, and layout for who you want to be and what you want to do as individuals, a family or an organization. A 'center' is what guides our decisions and motivates us to act. Be "principle-centered" and base decisions on principles that govern human effectiveness. Principle -centered people try to: 1. Stand apart from the emotion of a situation 2. Make proactive choices after evaluating options Mission Statement: A powerful document that expresses your personal sense of purpose and meaning in life; it acts as a governing constitution by which you evaluate decisions and choose behaviors. Writing a personal mission statement is as much an act of discovery as it is an act of creation. Every mission statement answers two basic questions: 1. What am I about? 2. Upon what principles do I operate my life? Roles and goals give meaning and order to life. Within each role, goals define what we want to achieve. Goals are the basis for weekly and daily planning. The best goals are tied to a personal mission statement.
First things are those things that you, personally, find most worth doing. They move you in the right direction. They help you achieve the principle-centered purpose expressed in your mission statement. The key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities. - Covey Importance: an activity is important if you find it valuable, and if it contributes to your mission, values and high-priority goals. Urgency: An activity is urgent if you or others feel that it requires immediate attention. Effective people have genuine Quadrant 1 crises and emergencies that require their immediate attention, but the number is comparatively small. They keep P and PC in balance by focusing on the important, but not urgent activities of Quadrant 2. - Covey The private victory helps us spend more time in Quadrant 2. The 6 steps can be used in weekly planning or as often as needed: 1. Connect to Mission - Link your mind and heart to a principle-centered purpose. 2. Review Roles - to help you achieve balance and a positive emotional bank account in relationships 3. Identify Goals - "What am I going to do with in my roles to live my mission and realize my vision?" 4. Organize Weekly - schedule the "big rocks" 5. Exercise Integrity in the moment of Choice - "Does this choice lead me to what I really want?" 6. Evaluate - review for lessons learned, revisit the mission, and commit to apply evaluation results.
Think win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means everyone wins because agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying - all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-Win Rescripting - believe in the third alternative. Most of us have scripts that are ineffective (win-lose conditioning) However, we can rescript, or learn new ways of behavior, by improvement through win-win thinking (on the interdependent level). Rescripting is a three step process: 1. Developing self-awareness 2. Writing new scripts 3. Developing new scripts Win-win relationships come from believing in the third alternative and from willingly abandoning selfish positions to look for it. People who don’t trust each other do not create win-win agreements. Trust comes from the repeated deposits in the emotional bank account. When trust is high, win-win agreements naturally follow. Win-win relationships develop as deposits are made in the Emotional bank account. On the other hand, relationships are destroyed through withdrawals from the emotional bank account. Integrity. People of integrity are true to their feelings, values and commitments. Abundance Mentality. People with Abundance Mentality believe there is plenty for everyone. Maturity. Mature people express their ideas and feelings with courage and with consideration for the ideas and feelings of others.
Diagnose before you prescribe It’s easy to immediately diagnose another's situation or problem and offer advice based on your own paradigm. When we overcome the natural tendency to hastily diagnose, jump to conclusions, defend ourselves and push our opinions on other people, our interpersonal communications become more effective. It is then, that we can stop reading our own autobiographies into other peoples lives.(4 autobiographical responses are as follows: advising, probing, interpreting and evaluating) Listening with eyes, ears and heart will help us understand feeling, meaning & content Nonverbal expressions are vitally important when we are trying to understand another person. Words only account for 7% of communication. Empathic listening takes practice the basic skill of empathic listening is helping the speaker feel understood: reflect feelings, rephrase content OR be able to discern when empathic listening is not appropriate Empathic listening give speaker psychological room to think and explore their feelings The second half of the skill of creating understanding is seeking to be understood. Once we understand, we seek to be understood. Others will be able to understand us if we present our own ideas clearly, specifically, visually, and in the context of a deep understanding of their paradigms and concerns. Like win-win this habit balances courage and consideration. While understanding another person takes consideration, getting another person to understand us takes courage.
The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts
Sharpen the saw means maintaining and improving the things that help us accomplish our work and other desires. Woodsman story 4 dimensions of renewal Physical Mental Spiritual Social/emotional Make gradual changes every day The only constant in life is change. People cannot live with change if they don’t have a changeless core inside them. Whatever is at the center of their lives will be the source of their security, guidance, wisdom and power. Security - sense of worth Guidance - source of direction Wisdom - perspective in life Power - capacity to act
Habit defined: A habit is defined as the intersection of knowledge, skill and the desire. Knowledge is understanding what to do and why to do it; skill is knowing how to do it; desire is motivation or wanting to do it. To make habits , we need to develop all three components.
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