A story about love and regrets

1. Prelude to Jacobs‟s legacy
Who am I?
She sat on the mountaintop her blue eyes stared out over the thorn-bushed shrub
that stretched for miles in all directions.
A sudden sadness crept into her eyes as her thoughts went back to a day ten years
ago……
Jessica was a feisty ten year old with a very outgoing personality. She grew up on a
farm in the Northern Province of Limpopo in South Africa. Her parents were
successful game farmers. Jessica was the eldest of five children. There were her
twin brothers Daniel and Kevin, 2 lively six year olds, and twin sisters Heather and
Maxi three years of age. The children of the Jones household were privileged
youngsters growing up in a rich and successful family. Jessica had a private tutor
who schooled her at home and the younger children had nannies to see to all their
needs.
Jack and Teresa Jones were always very busy on their game farm. Hunters from
overseas visited often, there was the culling of animals and dealing with poachers.
Jack and Teresa despite having very busy schedules tried to spend as much time
with their children in between their heavy workload. Quality time that was spent
playing, reading to the children before bedtime and telling them stories about the
animals on the farm. Jessica especially, enjoyed the times the family spent together.
She did not have friends, living so far out in the bush, and not attending a regular
school.
1

2. Jessica spent many hours playing with her imaginary friend Bobby. She would go
outside and play- act under the shade of a large tree, in the front garden and serve
him tea in her porcelain tea set she had received for her sixth birthday. She had
long conversations with him, telling him that when they were grown up, she was
going marry him, and then they would move to the big city, where there would be
many friends to entertain. It was on such a day ten years ago, that an earth -
shattering explosion changed the course of her life forever.
Jumping up she turned as if in slow motion toward the sound. She stared wide eyed
at the scene playing off in front of her, and it was so frightening that to this day it is
etched in her mind, the smells, the smoke and the searing heat. The large family
home was burning, flames pouring from every windo w and door of the house. She
could hear the petrified screams of her family inside the house. She stood as if
nailed to the ground, staring at the flames licking the walls and roof of the house.
Within a matter of minutes, the fire had spread and the whole house was engulfed in
an angry and fierce blanket of flames and heat. She sunk to the ground and buried
her face in her hands trying to shut out the a wful scene. She kept her eyes tightly
shut listening to the crackling of the flames. Suddenly the screams inside the house
stopped, and everything was eerily quiet. She lay there on the ground. She was to
petrified to move or open her eyes.
“Jessica...Jessica, wake up!‟ She slowly opened her eyes and sa w her tutor Cindy
bending over her wide eyed and worried. At first, she thought it was all a bad dream,
and slowly turned her head to ward the house, but all she saw was the blackened
ruins where her home used to be.“Where are my mommy and daddy?” she had
asked in a small-frightened little voice, with tears running down her cheeks. Cindy
had taken Jessica in her arms and pacified the little girl. “Your family has all gone to
heaven my dear child, and now I have to take you somewhere safe.” She had seen
the confusion in Jessica‟s eyes. “Don‟t worry my little one, I will look after you.” After
driving for hours, they had arrived at the police station, where Cindy informed the
authorities of the tragedy. Jessica was placed in Cindy‟s care until the authorities
could find her family members. After the long drive back, Jessica was put to bed in
the cottage on the farm where Cindy and the two nannies resided. Cindy sat next to
her until she fell asleep. She stared do wn at the tearstained face of the little girl.
“Poor little baby what is going to happen to you.”She gently tucked the sleeping child
in, switched of the light and retired.
She was brought back to reality suddenly, when she saw movement in the shrub
beneath her. She got up and slowly made her way do wn the mountain to investigate,
thinking that it may be a small animal caught in a snare. Suddenly a shot rang out,
and startled by the gunshot she panicked and lost her footing, she felt herself falling,
and screamed. On her fall down the mountain, she hit her head on a rock and sank
into a dark abyss of nothingness.
Jacob jumped up from his crouching position when he heard the screaming. “What
the hell was that?” he thought out loudly. His eyes scouted the mountainside but he
saw nothing. He moved up the mountain to have a closer look. After climbing a way
up he stopped, and leaned his rifle against a rock. He took out his binoculars and
once again scanned the mountainside. Suddenly his eye caught something in the
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3. distance and he decided to investigate. He started climbing making sure to stay
under cover, there were poachers every where and he did not want to be caught
unawares. Making his way carefully through the brush, he suddenly stumbled upon a
young women lying amongst the rocks.
He rushed to her side, and knelt down beside her. Her head was bleeding, and she
was unconscious. He quickly felt for a pulse and satisfied that she was alive, he took
off his shirt folded it up and gently put it under her head. Jacob took out his
handkerchief and softly wiped the blood from her forehead. He got up and looked
around, to see if there was a handbag or something that could identify the girl. He
did not find anything and puzzled stared do wn at her pale face wondering where she
came from and what she was doing here so far a way from civilization. Realizing that
he should get her off the mountain as soon as possible he bent do wn, picked her up,
and started his descent. After what seems like hours, he reached the foot of the
mountain. Jacob gently lay the young woman down in the shade of a tree and sat
down to rest.
He picked her up and walked along a narro w trail through the bushes to ward a big
farmhouse. Jacob carried her into the house and up the stairs where he lay her do wn
on the bed in one of the bedrooms. After taking of her shoes and covering her with a
blanket, he went downstairs to fetch water and a clean to wel. He returned and
carefully bathed her face and put a clean dressing on her wound. The beauty of the
girl mesmerized him. He reached out and gently pushed a lock of hair from her face.
Jacob felt her pulse and satisfied that it is steady left her to rest.
He went to the bathroom to freshen up, and then he returned to the room, and drew
a chair close to the bed sitting do wn. Once again, he stared at the girl taking in her
beauty, her dark long curls fell softly framing her delicately featured face, lashes
lying thick and long on her pale cheeks. Suddenly tiredness overcame him and he
drifted off. She drifted in and out of consciousness through the night. Jacob awoke
when he heard a groaning sound, and sa w the woman staring at him in a daze. He
was enthralled by the soulfulness of her beautiful blue eyes..
“Hello welcome back.” She was confused and just stared at him. Seeing her
confusion he told her, “You fell down the mountain and hit your head pretty hard, can
you remember?”
She shook her head and she felt as if her head was going to explode. A groan
escaped from her lips and she closed her eyes. Jacob gently shook her shoulder,
“You must wake up.” She heard his voice as if from afar and opened her eyes.
“My head hurts.”
“I will get you something.” She thankfully accepted the water and painkillers, and
laid back. “Thank you.”
“Pleasure,” he smiled at her reassuringly. Jessica closed her eyes and once again
drifted off. Jacob realizing that she may have concussion decided to let her rest. He
went outside and stared up at the star filled sky, listening to the night sounds of the
bush. A frown appeared on his bro w, he still wondered about how this girl ended
here on his game farm. He went inside to check on her and found her fast asleep, he
then retired for the night wondering what tomorro w would bring.
3

4. She woke up and heard a steady knocking on the window. Slowly she turned her
head toward the sound. She noticed a bird sitting on the windowsill pecking at his
reflection in the window. Trying to focus she looked around the room but everything
was unfamiliar. She felt the panic threatening to engulf her. She was startled when
there was a soft knock on the door. The door slowly opened and she gasped when a
six-foot strikingly handsome man entered. “Can I come in?” Jacob noticed the
confused and bewildered look on the girls face. “Sorry I did not mean to frighten
you.”
He slowly moved toward the bed “How do you feel?” She stared at him and
swallowing asked in a husky voice “How did I get here, who are you?
He smiled down at her. “My name is Jacob. You had an accident. And I brought you
to my farm.” He noticed total confusion in her eyes.”Don‟t you remember?” She just
shook her head not taking her eyes of his face.
“May I?” He pointed at the chair beside her bed. Jacob sat down and reassuringly
took her hand. “I found you on the mountain. You must have fallen and knocked
yourself unconscious.” She felt sudden panic, as she realized she could not
remember anything, not even her name. Jacob sa w the panic in her eyes. “Take it
easy, don‟t worry you are safe just give yourself time.”
She looked at him and the tears spilled from her eyes. “I can‟t remember my name I
don‟t kno w who I am.” Jacob realized with a shock that it was more serious than he
had thought. He tried to sound calm and reassuring.
“I am sure it is just temporarily, you will remember, you just need to rest”. She
stared at him and almost got lost in his green piercing eyes, her heart started
pounding in her ears, and she felt the blood rush to her face when she realized that
she was staring, and that he was still holding on to her hand. Feeling suddenly very
embarrassed she pulled her hand from his. Jacob cleared his throat, and shifted
uncomfortably in the chair.
“Sorry…I…um…sorry.”
She turned her head and stared out of the windo w trying to calm her heart, which
was by no w beating uncontrollably. Jacob quietly got up and left the room closing the
door softly behind him. He lent against the door closing his eyes, trying to
comprehend what just happened. Getting his feelings under control, he took a
shower and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She stared out the window for
a long time trying to gather her thoughts. “Who am I, where do I come from?” She
felt the panic once again welling up inside her and decided to get up. Feeling a bit
unsteady on her feet, she gingerly made her way to a door that she presumed must
be the bathroom. She took a sho wer and with a to wel wrapped around her body, she
opened a cupboard door to see if she could find something clean to wear. She found
a shirt, thre w it on and looked at herself in the mirror, she was shocked when she did
not recognize the person staring back at her.
She picked up a brush and brushed her long dark curls. As if in a daze, she left the
room. She walked down the stairs slowly and followed the smell of frying bacon. She
paused at the door to the kitchen. Jacob was at the stove his back turned to her. She
stared at him in awe, taking in the broad shoulders, his muscular arms and narrow
4

5. hips. She felt herself blush as her eyes moved upward to the thick blonde hair curling
in the nape of his broad neck. Oblivious to her presence Jacob started humming a
tune while he continued cooking. Feeling ashamed, that she was so blatantly staring
at him, she cleared her throat. He s wung around with a broad smile on his
suntanned face. “Breakfast is served.”
She suddenly felt famished and approached the table, very a ware that she was
probably wearing one of his shirts and once again felt herself blushing. “That shirt
suits you. You look...” He abruptly stopped when he sa w her embarrassment. “Umm
let‟s eat”. For a while, an uncomfortable silence ensued between them. She kept her
eyes averted. Jacob openly stared at her. He marveled at her beauty, the plate
before him forgotten. Suddenly she felt his eyes on her and looked up.
“You‟re staring.”
“Sorry I didn‟t mean to but....” his words trailed off when he saw her discomfort.
They both continued their meal in silence, very aware of one another‟s presence.
Jacob pushed back his plate, “I have to go and work, will you be alright on your o wn?
“Yes I think so.” Her voice reflected the uncertainty she felt.
“Upstairs in the bedroom next to yours you will find some lady‟s clothing that should
fit you. Help yourself to any of them.” He turned and abruptly walked out the door
but not before, she noticed the sadness in his eyes. She went upstairs and carefully
opened the door; she stared in amazement at the room. It had a feminine touch, the
interior was tastefully decorated and she felt as if she had entered a room that told a
story of heartache and love.
She was almost too frightened to touch anything for fear that she may disturb the
ambiance. She noticed a baby crib in the corner of the room, and felt a sudden
sadness she could not explain. Cautiously moving toward the large built-in
cupboard, she opened the door, and was shocked to see woman‟s clothing, both
sophisticated and slightly tomboyish filling every space available. She felt like an
intruder as she choose one of the outfits and put it on. She looked at herself in the
mirror, and satisfied that the outfit she had chosen fitted her, carefully closed the
cupboard door. She looked around the room and her eyes fell on a photograph on
one of the dressers. She picked it up and stared at the image, she recognized Jacob
embracing a beautiful woman, and noticed that she was pregnant. She put do wn the
photograph and moved toward the crib draped in blue satin and lace, with the words
David embroidered on the hood. She stroked the side of the crib deep in thought.
Feeling a sudden cold shiver run down her spine she left the room and closed the
door behind her.
She went do wnstairs and entered the library. She randomly took a book from the
bookshelf, but felt the walls closing in on her and decided to go outside in the garden
to read. She noticed a bench under a large tree and sat down. For a while, the book
lay forgotten in her lap as she surveyed her surroundings. She took in the beautiful
lush lawns and garden that surrounded the house. She looked up at the branches of
the tree she was sitting under, and suddenly had the feeling of being there before. It
was almost as if she knew this spot under the tree. Shaking off the feeling, she tried
to concentrate on the book in her lap. She read a few lines but then her mind once
again started drifting.
5

6. “How did I get here, who am I.” She also started wondering about the woman in the
photograph with Jacob. Is she his wife? If so, where is she, and where is the baby?
The hours passed and it started getting late, she felt uneasy wondering where Jacob
was, why was he was so late getting back? She was startled out of her deep
thoughts when the rolling of thunder and lightning suddenly filled the sky. Ominous
dark clouds started forming and the wind howled through the trees. She ran toward
the house and was soaked by a sudden heavy downpour of rain. She leant against
the door for a moment, catching her breath. Outside the storm raged and within
minutes rivulets were forming and swirling around the house. She was suddenly very
frightened for Jacob who was somewhere out there in the raging storm. What if
something had happened to him, why was he not home yet? She tried very hard to
suppress the panic that threatened to overwhelm her. She closed her eyes and
listened to the wind ho wling around the corners of the house, her eyes felt heavy and
she dozed off.
Jacob sat in the jeep staring at the river, that a fe w hours ago was a mere stream,
the bridge that he had crossed totally submerged under the raging torrent of water.
He decided to reverse the jeep to higher ground to wait out the storm. He reversed a
way up the embankment and turned off the ignition and lights. It was going to be a
long night. He had been in the bush all day, and feeling fatigue set in closed his
eyes. However, sleep evaded him.. He thought about the young woman waiting for
him. He worried that she would be feeling very frightened all on her own. His
thoughts had been with her all day, why did he feel so attracted to her.
Could he be falling for this girl, a girl that had just appeared from nowhere? In his
mind‟s eye, he sees the long dark hair framing her delicate features, the big soulful
blue eyes and her beautiful porcelain like skin. He thought back to this morning when
she appeared in the kitchen with one of his shirts hanging loosely on her small
frame. He felt his heart lurching at the thought of her, remembering the sad haunting
look in her eyes how he felt himself drowning in them, and the urge he felt at that
moment to take her in his arms and kiss her. He opened his eyes thinking that it was
impossible, how could he be having these feelings, it had only been a year since…
Jacobs‟s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the eerie quietness; he looked out of
the jeeps window and sa w that the storm had calmed down. Relieved he waited for
the river to subside. He could no longer keep his eyes open and fell into a fitful sleep.
A few hours later, he woke up and upon investigating saw that the river had subsided
sufficiently for him to cross. He slowly crossed the bridge and made his way home
over the muddy and treacherous roads.
Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face, she opened her eyes and lay quietly
trying to gather her thoughts. She suddenly came up with a start and looked around.
“Jacob?” She listened for his voice but there is no answer. She ran up the stairs to
his room, her heart beating uncontrollably. She burst through the door and came to
an abrupt standstill when she realized that Jacobs‟s bed was empty with no sign of
him having slept in it. “Oh no...No Jacob where are you!
She ran downstairs to the front door, ripped it open, and in her panic ran into Jacob.
Startled she stepped back her heart pounding. They stared at one another, and
Jacob had a sudden urge to take her in his arms and moved to ward her. She just
stared at him, mouth slightly open her breathing jagged and uneven her heart was
6

7. beating so rapidly, it felt as if it was going jump out of her chest, she closed her eyes
as she felt his strong arms embrace her. Jacob felt the warmth of her body against
his, and an overwhelming desire pumped through him. He put his hand under her
chin and lifted her face his eyes riveted on her mouth. He bent do wn and softly
kissed her, feeling her mouth open as she responded to his kiss, he could feel heart
beating against his chest. Suddenly he pushed her a way.
“Sorry I can‟t...sorry,” he said in a hoarse whisper. She stepped back, and was
shocked when she sa w the raw pain in his eyes. He moved forward and took her
hand. When he spoke, his voice echoed emotion.
“Come with me I want to sho w you something.” She let him lead her outside where
they took a path leading up a hill behind the house. They walked in silence both busy
with their own thoughts. Reaching the top of the hill, she saw a white cross on a
mound of stones. Jacob dropped her hand and walked to the grave where he
crouched down on his haunches and touched the stones gently. She stepped closer
and he looked up at her, the wetness on his lashes caused her heart to skip a beat.
“This is where my wife and son are buried.” She heard the ra w pain and emotion in
his voice, her thoughts went to the pretty woman on the photo, and the blue crib with
the name David embroidered on the hood.
“Your wife ...ho w...? She broke of mid-sentence when he suddenly got up and faced
her.
“She died a year ago in childbirth and my son a few days later.” His voice broke, and
she took his hands in hers.
“I am so sorry; I didn‟t realize it must have been very hard for you.” He stared do wn
at the grave.
“Yes...yes it was.” His voice was hoarse and filled with heartache. She moved closer
and put her arms around his waist.
” I am so sorry.” He bent down to kiss her. Suddenly she noticed the six graves
nestled between the trees.
“Who are they? He turned to see what she was referring to.
“Oh... that is a family that first o wned this farm.” She stepped from his embrace and
walked to the graves. She noticed that one of the crosses had something engraved
on it and bent do wn reading the engraved words.
“Here rests Jack and Theresa Jones and four of their children.”
Sadness overwhelmed her and she burst into tears. Jacob took her in his arms and
held her until the sobs subsided. Taking her hand, he led her toward a big thorn tree
and pulled her down beside him. They sat quietly staring at the seven graves
thinking of the eight people who are forever resting side by side. Jacob closed his
eyes and heard a voice as if from far a way.
“Jacob I love you and want you to be happy, please open your heart and let the
happiness and love in.” Startled he opened his eyes, but it was only him, the young
woman, and eight graves. With the words still echoing in his ears Jacob pulled her
7

8. up. He looked into her eyes, and bent down kissing her passionately, she responded
to his kiss with zealous. Without a word, Jacob took her hand and led her down the
hill, toward the house. She glanced back at the graves once again feeling a terrible
sadness and loss. Nearing the house she looked to ward the big tree in the garden
and a feeling of nostalgia overcame her. Somehow, that tree made her feel as if she
belonged here. After supper the two of them relaxed in front of the fireplace, she lay
with her head against his chest listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat. She
looked up at him and he felt sudden desire to make passionate love to her. Jacob
picked her up, and carried her upstairs. He lay her do wn on the bed. Exhausted they
fell asleep in one another‟s arms.
She smelt the smoke, felt the searing heat on her face and heard the screams
coming from the burning house. She woke up screaming her cheeks wet with tears.
Jacob startled by the piercing screams jumped up and turned-on the light. He stared
at her his heart beating in his ears.
She looked up at him. “My name is Jessica Jones, and that is my family buried up
on the hill.”
Jacobs‟s legacy
CHAPTER 1
Jessica heard the sound of a chopper approaching the house. She got up from her
chair and went to the window. Looking up she sa w it and the smiling pilot who was
waving at somebody to the left of her and she turned to look. A smile tugged at the
corners of her mouth when she sa w the two little boys waving and jumping up and
down with excitement. The chopper dipped and disappeared from sight. The boys
turned around and returned to the shade under the large tree in the garden to
resume playing under the watchful eye of their nanny Cindy.
Jessica‟s mind wandered and she thought back over the last four years. After the
tragic accident in which her whole family had perished, Jessica was sent to live with
her maternal grandparents. She did not know them very well, and found it difficult to
adapt to her new surroundings. Jessica cried herself to sleep every night, missing
her family so much, that her schoolwork suffered as a result. Her grandparents finally
decided to send her to a very elite girl‟s boarding school in the city. It took some time
for Jessica to adapt, but she was a strong willed and determined little girl and soon
settled in to her new life. She finished her schooling at the age of eighteen and went
to university to study law. She was doing well but something was missing in her life,
and she had the strong desire to return to the farm she had grown up on to find the
graves of her family. She had just turned 20years of age when she decided to return
to her birthplace. She was aware of the fact, that the farm had ne w o wners.
However, she was not at all troubled about that and took the long drive to the airport
where she left her car and hired a light aircraft, which dropped her off at the airstrip
near the farm.
8

9. She smiled when she remembered how fate had brought her and Jacob together.
After the night that her memory had returned, Jacob did not want her to leave and
asked her to stay for a fe w more days. It was an easy decision, as she herself was
not quite ready to return home, so she stayed. She had lost her heart to Jacob the
minute she saw him. A few more days eventually stretched to a fe w weeks. Two
months went by and Jessica woke up one morning feeling ill and miserable. Jacob
feeling worried that she may have tick fever, as ticks were relevant in the area
decided to take her into the hospital.
After a fe w hours‟ drive, they arrived at the hospital where Jessica was taken in and
immediately examined. They sat in the reception area waiting anxiously for the
results of the numerous tests that had been done. The hours seemed to drag and
Jacob was worried, by that time Jessica was very pale and running to the bathroom
often. After what seemed like forever, the doctor arrived with news of the tests. He
sat down and cleared his throat.
“Jessica you have no serious illness, but I am happy to inform you that you are six
weeks pregnant”. Jacob and Jessica sat in stunned silence trying to take in what the
doctor had told them. Once the ne ws sunk in, Jacob got up pulling Jessica up with
him. Without saying a word he stared at her face, with such love and passion, that
Jessica who was still reeling from the shock felt relief that he felt the same way about
her as she felt about him. The next morning they were married in court and returned
to the farm. They were extremely happy and Jessica‟s pregnancy relatively smooth
going. A fe w months later Jessica went into labour. In addition, Jacob not wanting to
take any chances after the tragedy of his first wife and child flew Jessica to the
hospital in the chopper. A few hours later, she delivered twin boys Dylan and
Timothy. Elated they returned to the farm with their precious cargo.
Jessica‟s train of thought was interrupted when she heard a little voice calling out.
“Mommy, mommy daddy is home.” Turning her head, she saw Jacob approaching
the house. The two boys exited to see Jacob, ran towards him, he went down on his
haunches, with a broad smile, arms wide open to receive them. Jacob hugged the
boys to his chest and taking one by each hand started walking toward the front door.
Jessica‟s heart started beating faster as she watched Jacob. He looked so tall and
handsome, blond sun bleached hair blowing in the wind, his teeth glistening white as
he smiled down at his sons. Her eyes moved toward the boys. Dylan had the same
blond hair and green eyes as Jacob and was slightly taller than his twin. Timothy had
inherited her dark hair and big blue eyes and had a fairer skin. To this day Jessica
could not believe that they are twins as they were so different in many ways. Dylan
was the more outgoing and lively of the two and definitely the leader, where- as
Timothy was the quieter more reserved follower. Jessica moved toward the door to
welcome Jacob as she had been doing for the last four years.
She still felt the same excitement and desires as she felt when they met for the first
time. In one fell swoop, he folded his arms around her. He lifted her chin and rested
his lips on hers soft and gentle, and then hard and passionate. Breathlessly she
softly pushed him away.
“Jacob the children are watching,” He grinned in a boyish way and winked at the two
boys who were staring at them wide eyed. The twins started giggling putting their
hand over their eyes. Jacob smiled down at them.
9

10. “Come on you two, time for your bath.” Jacob took them upstairs and Jessica stared
after them lovingly, she then went to kitchen to prepare dinner. An hour later, they all
sat down for supper. Jessica looked across the table at Jacob.
”How was your day? He looked up at her.
“Busy…we...”
”Daddy we sa w you in the chopper.” Dylan ‟ interrupted his eyes were wide with
excitement.
“Yes, yes in the copters.” Timothy stared at Jacob a serious look on his face.
“Not copters...chopper you silly.” Dylan interrupted with a puckered bro w.
“That‟s what I said.” Timothy looked slightly embarrassed, and turned to Jacob
nodding.
“Mmm you can‟t say chopper.” Dylan retorted and wrinkled his nose at his brother.
Jacob looked at Jessica grinning and winked playfully. She felt the blood rush to her
face. He still managed to make her blush. Jacob noticed and gave her another wink.
Feeling very flustered, Jessica jumped up and started clearing the table trying not to
look at Jacob. The two boys were now quiet and half-asleep in their chairs. Jacob
looked at the two sleepy boys and a look of tenderness and love appeared on his
face. In Timothy, he saw a mirror image of Jessica; the same dark locks the thick
long lashes lying on his cheeks. He looked over at Dylan and grinned as he looked
at a mini version of himself. Jacob picked up both children and carried them upstairs.
He tucked them in and kissed each child on their foreheads. At the door, he glanced
back at the boys who were by no w fast asleep and whispered, “God bless, and sleep
tight” he closed the door behind him. Jacob retreated to the master bedroom, where
Jessica was already propped up against her pillows reading a book. From the
doorway he stared at her intently, to him, she was even more beautiful than the first
day he met her. Jessica felt his eyes on her, and tried very hard to get her breathing
under control. Jacob slo wly moved toward the bed not taking his eyes of her. She
suddenly murmured under her breath, “You are staring. “
He grinned, “Sorry.” She put her book do wn and gazed up at him.
”You‟re not sorry.” He smiled and moved closer.
” You‟re too beautiful for me to be sorry.” Jacob got on the bed and reached for her,
no longer able to contain his desire to be with her. After making passionate love
Jacob laid back on the pillows, spent, with his eyes closed. Jessica came up on her
elbow, and looked at him taking in every detail from his thick blond hair to his toes.
”You‟re staring,” his voice was dro wsy.
“Sorry”.
“You‟re not sorry.”
“Of course I‟m not.” She softly kissed him, and turned off the light, they fell asleep in
one another‟s arms.
10

11. Jessica walked up the hill towards the graves. It had become a ritual to visit her
parent‟s last resting place at least once a week. She first stopped at the grave of
Jacobs‟s first wife and son and arranged some flowers, placing them gently on the
mound of stones. She then spent time with her family doing the same, after which
she sat down under the shade of the large thorn tree reflecting on the past. It was at
these times that she realized that she was still lonely in many ways, as she had been
when she was a little girl... The only difference being, that she no longer had her
imaginary friend Bobby to talk to or entertain. That part of her life had disappeared
with the fire that had taken her family from her. She had her o wn family now, but
Jacob was a way from home often, and the boys were still too young to share her
deepest feelings with.
Jacob‟s work was dangerous and Jessica had this nagging fear of something
happening to him out there in the bush. Her absolute highlight of the day was when
Jacob arrived home safely and they could spend time together when the little ones
were asleep. It made the feeling of loneliness bearable. Jessica suddenly felt a chill
down her spine when she realized she was not alone. Almost too frightened to look
up she forced herself, and saw a man standing in the shadows watching her. She
swallowed her throat dry with fright, at first unable to move. The man saw the
terrified look on her face and stepped out from the shadows with his hand
outstretched.
” Sorry I did not mean to frighten you...sorry.”
He came closer. Jessica managed to croak out the words through dry lips.
”Don‟t come any closer who...” She swallowed, “Who are you?”
Still staring at her, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Take it easy lady I am not going
to hurt you.” He stepped closer.
“No, stay where you are, what do you want”. Her eyes were wide and she felt the
panic threatening to overtake her. He stopped and looked at her without saying
another word. She stepped back as if seeking protection from her loved ones buried
here. There was a long silence as they stared at one another; he hunkered do wn on
his haunches all the while keeping his eyes on her face. Jessica suddenly realized
that there was something familiar about this man.
“Are the little boys at the house yours?”
The blood drained from her face. ”Why...what...? The question hung in the air.
“Relax they are safe with their nanny.” He suddenly got up and took a step in her
direction. She stepped back the icy grip of panic once again taking hold of her.”Look
we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot. I am Jason mc Bride, Jacobs‟s
brother, and I am truly sorry if I frightened you.” A look of surprise crossed Jessica‟s
face.
“But...But”, she stuttered. Now she knew why he looked so familiar.
“But he never told you he had a brother,” he grinned as he finished the sentence for
her.
11

12. “No...No he didn‟t ever mention that he had a brother.”
Bemused he shook his head. “Well I am not really surprised, we don‟t get along. We
never have.”
“Why?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “I don‟t really know we just don‟t.”
She stared at him and noticed how much alike they are. The same blond hair and
piercing green eyes, the boyish grin and sparkling white teeth. She noticed that he
was slightly shorter but also very well built.
“You‟re staring.”
Her heart jumped to her throat at the familiar words, she blushed. ”Sorry I didn‟t
mean too.” She averted her eyes.
He stepped closer. “No worries… May I?” he gestured to the place under the tree
where she had been sitting. She shook her head in acknowledgement. He sat down
with a sigh, and looked around. She also sat down keeping her distance.
“It is very peaceful up here.” He remarked.
“Yes, yes it is.”
Jason looked toward the graves. “Who are they?” She told him the story of the
people buried on the hill. Jason listened in silence until she finished. He shook his
head. “That is very sad.” He stared out in front of him with a pained expression on
his face. “So you are Jacobs‟s wife, and the children, the two little boys, are they
your first?
“Yes.” A long uncomfortable silence followed while both were busy with their own
thoughts. Jessica got up, still feeling slightly unnerved by the sudden appearance of
Jacob‟s brother. “I must be going it‟s getting late. “
”Of course can I walk with you?”
“Yes sure.”
He followed her down the hill his eyes taking in her slender body, the long soft
flowing dark hair and her beauty. He almost felt envious at the life his brother had
carved out for himself. They reached the bottom of the hill and the twins ran toward
them. “Hello my angels let me introduce you.” She turned to Jason. “This is your
uncle Jason.” The twins looked up at Jason with puzzled expressions on their little
faces. “Jason, meet my sons Dylan and Timothy.” Jason grinned down at the boys,
amused at the expressions on their faces.
“Hello boys.”
Dylan stared at Jason. “He looks like daddy,” frowning he turned to Jessica. “Why
does he look like daddy?” Timothy was suddenly very shy and hid behind Jessica‟s
leg peeking with one eye at Jason not saying a word. Jessica looked at Dylan and
ruffled his hair playfully.
12

13. “He looks like daddy because he is daddy‟s brother, come let‟s get you home.”
Jessica took the boys upstairs and Jason retreated to the family room. He looked
around at the expensive furnishings and overall luxury of the room and sat do wn on
one of the recliners reveling in the luxury. Jessica, after seeing to the children‟s
needs joined him in the family room sitting sat down on the opposite side of him. He
looked at her enquiringly. “Are you happy?”
Wondering why he would ask such a question she answered slightly annoyed at the
arrogance of the man. “Yes I am why do you ask?”
He looked at her shaking his head a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “No
particular reason.” Jessica glanced up at the clock on the wall it was getting late and
she wondered where Jacob is.
“You worried about Jacob?” Jason asked making more of a statement than asking
a question when he noticed the worried look on her face. Not bothering to answer,
she got up and walked to the windo w staring out into the dark. Jason looked at her
quietly taking in her beauty. She felt his eyes on her and started feeling uneasy
wishing that Jacob would arrive. Suddenly she saw the lights of the jeep approaching
and sighed a sigh of relief. She walked to the front door to wait for him. Jacob walked
up the stairs and took her in his arms.
She whispered against his chest. “I was worried.” He bent do wn and kissed her
feeling the tension in her body. He apologized, saying that they were tracking
poachers and it took longer than he thought. She looked up at his face and sa w the
fatigue in his eyes. Jason sat quietly watching and Jessica suddenly felt Jacobs body
stiffen as he looked over her shoulder and saw Jason. He pushed her aside and
glared at his brother.
“What are you doing here?”
Jason shifted in his chair uncomfortably. “Hello Jacob.”
Jessica stared from one brother to the other feeling the tension and animosity
between them. Jason got up from his chair and approached Jacob with an
outstretched hand. Jacob deciding to ignore the gesture repeated through clenched
teeth, “What are you doing here.”
” I wanted...” Jason swallowed his throat suddenly very dry.” I wanted to come and
see how you are.” He answered for lack of anything else to say. Jacob felt the anger
welling up inside him, and walked to the whisky cabinet. He took out a glass and
poured himself a drink; bringing the glass to his lips, he s wallowed it in one gulp.
“Get out I don‟t want you here.” His tone was cold and he kept his back to Jason.
Jessica was taken aback at the tone of his voice.
“Jacob… that‟s rude.”
Jacob turned to her, the anger he felt reflected on his face. “You keep out of this.”
She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it, and turned leaving
the room. Jacob filled his glass again and turned around walking toward one of the
chairs.
13

14. Jason cleared his throat. “Jacob I have something to tell you.”
Jacob sat down, leaning his head back he closed his eyes, suddenly feeling very
tired. Jason sat down opposite Jacob. ”Dad died.” He waited for a reaction from
Jacob, but nothing, just silence. ” I said… dad died.” He repeated himself feeling
unnerved by his brothers silence. Jacob kept his eyes closed and felt nothing but
emptiness.
“I heard you the first time.”
Once again, a long silence followed. Jason got up and poured himself a drink; he sat
down and lifted the glass to his lips staring over the rim at his brother. He noticed a
tear slip from under Jacobs‟s lid onto his cheek and took a sip from his glass
wondering what Jacob was thinking. He thought back over the years, Jacob and
their father never had a good relationship. Their mother died when they were very
young, and their father was left to raise them on his own. He was a strict
disciplinarian, more so with Jacob being the elder of the two boys. Jacob learned
from an early age to stand on his own two feet and not to expect much from his
father emotionally. Jason, on the other hand, was shown favoritism . He got a way
with most anything easily. Whenever things went wrong no matter how small, Jacob
would feel the brunt of his father‟s wrath. As the years went by Jacobs‟s animosity
toward his father and brother gre w to the point of hatred.
Jacob fell in love with a girl named Suzy in his last year at school. At that time, he
thought he had met his soul mate and that they would marry someday. However,
Jason had other plans. He was in love with the same girl, and soon after, Jacob
discovered they were having an affair behind his back. He was livid and confronted
his brother. Jason who was used to getting his own way shrugged it off as if it was
no big deal and Jacob, not being able to contain his anger attacked his brother in a
fit of rage. Had their father not intervened Jacob would probably have ended up
killing his brother. Tom, their father, separated the two boys and shoving Jason to
one side, lashed out hitting Jacob with the fist. Tom had stepped over Jacob lying
sprawled on the floor in a daze, lifted him up by his shirt collar, and shouting in his
face, told him to pack his things and get out of his house. Jacob left his father‟s
house without looking back.
Jacob got up from his chair and without looking at Jason walked toward the door.
“You can sleep in the spare room.”
He left the room and went upstairs. He stared down at Jessica who by no w had
fallen asleep. He got undressed and slipped under the covers pulling her toward him,
holding her close. She snuggled up to him feeling his warm breath on her face.
”I love you,” she whispered softly.
“I love you more.” he replied with a smile on his face. She came up on her elbow
and kissed him.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight my love.”
14

15. The sun was just rising on the hori zon, and Jacob carefully got up making sure not to
wake Jessica. He took a shower and got dressed in his ranger‟s uniform. He went
upstairs to the boy‟s room. He looked down on his sleeping sons and bent kissing
them on their foreheads softly so as not to wake them. He returned to Jessica, and
sat down on the side of the bed, looking at her sleeping face. He reached out and
stroked the side of her face gently. She slowly opened her eyes.
”Morning… sleepyhead.” He smiled down at her and lent toward her kissing her
softly.
“What time is it?” She stretched out and ya wned. He gently took her hand.
“It is still early. I have to leave now to track the poachers and it may be a few days
before I am back.” He sa w the stricken look on her face. ”Shhh don‟t worry I will be
alright and I will try to be back as soon as possible,” he took her face in his hands,
and knew exactly what she was going to ask.
“Can‟t you send someone else?” He saw that she was close to tears, and pulling
her up he held her close.
“I can‟t I have to be there ... You kno w that.”
“I kno w but...” He interrupted, before she could finish her sentence.
“No buts. I will see you in a few days.” Jacob walked to ward the door. Suddenly he
turned looking at her. His voice was cold and abrupt. “Jason can stay until I get
back.”
“Jacob... Please be careful.” He blew her a kiss and winked.
” Always…I promise.”
She laid quietly listening to the sound of the jeep fading away in the distance. Her
bedroom door suddenly flew open and the boys charged in clambering on the bed.
They snuggled up on either side of her, both chatting a way about their dreams that
they had. She loved these moments spent with her boys, and let them chatter on
without interrupting, then she got up off the bed and pulled the blankets off them
playfully. “Come on time to get up. “ Dylan sat up and looked around with a frown
between his eyes.
. “Where is daddy?”
She looked at him smiling fondly. “Daddy is going to be away for awhile.” She
noticed the sadness on their little faces. “He will be back soon, now quickly go and
get dressed while I make your breakfast.” Jessica prepared breakfast and set the
table wondering where Jason is.
“Good morning beautiful.”
She swung round to find Jason standing in the door way, staring at her. Blushing she
averted her eyes.
“Morning.” Her voice was hardly audible; he frowned and walked to ward the table.
The boys come rushing in and they all sat down to eat. Soon after, Cindy arrived and
15

16. took the boys outside to play. Jason offered to clear the table and Jessica started on
the dishes, she felt flustered in his presence and turning to pick up a dishcloth she
bumped into Jason. He stepped aside to let her pass and noticed the blush on her
cheeks. He grinned and shook his head at her discomfort. Jessica felt trapped and
decided to go out outside for some fresh air. She sat on the porch and looked out
toward the mountains surrounding the farm. She thought about Jacob out there
somewhere in the bush risking his life to save the animals. She closed her eyes and
silently prayed for his safe return. She felt Jason‟s presence as he sat do wn beside
her.
“Are you worried about Jacob?” He reached for her hand. She felt the shock ripple
through her arm at his touch. She pulled her hand away annoyed at herself for letting
him get to her.
“Yes I am worried for him its dangerous work.” Her voice was aloof and distant.
“He‟ll be fine... he always is.”. A long silence followed between them.
Jessica suddenly turned to him. “What happened…Between you two...what
happened.”
His eyes narrowed as he looked out over the bush. “It‟s a long story I‟ll tell you about
it someday.”
“That bad?”
His words were slow and measured. “Yes…but I prefer to forget about it so…” She
felt her heart beating faster as he leaned to ward her. She kne w that she should get
up and leave but it was as if her body is in a deadlock. She closed her eyes and felt
him moving closer. She could feel his breath on her face and before she could will
herself to move, his lips touched hers. He gently caressed her lips with his, she felt
herself sinking into a pit of helplessness and before she could stop, she kissed him
back. Time stood still as the kiss became more amorous. She suddenly came to her
senses and jumped up, and in her haste nearly fell over the railing. Jason looked at
her his green eyes filled with desire. Feeling ashamed that she could be so weak,
she slapped him hard across his face and ran off, tears streaming down her face.
Jason remained seated feeling his cheek burn where she struck him.
The rest of the day Jessica kept herself busy, making sure to avoid Jason. She felt
terrible that she had allowed him to kiss her. She loved Jacob, and was
overwhelmed by the fact, that in a moment of weakness she had allowed Jason to
go so far. Jason went into the tool shed to see if there was anything for him to do. He
looked around, and found some equipment needing repairs. He went to work sorting
out the shed, laying out everything neatly and methodically. He worked for hours
pushing himself to the limits in an effort to forget what had happened between him
and Jessica. His thoughts went back to the time he had betrayed his brother, and he
felt the guilt engulfing him. He sat down on a drum that was standing in the shed,
and dropped his head on his hands, feeling overwhelmed by the feelings coursing
through his body.
“Jason? His head jerked up and he saw Jessica standing in the door way with a tray
in her hand. “I…I... brought you something to drink.” He slowly got off the drum,
16

17. staring at her. She averted her eyes and walking toward the workbench put the tray
down, feeling his eyes burning in her back.
“Thanks…Jess…” he tried to apologize but without turning to look at him, she left
the shed.
Cindy brought the boys in to bath, and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Jason
ran upstairs to freshen up and they all sat down to eat. The silence was audible and
uncomfortable.
” Mommy when is daddy coming home?
Jessica looked at the boys and smiled her face softening. “He‟ll be back soon
sweetie, no w eat up it is almost time for bed.”
Cindy looked up, feeling the tension around the table, she noticed Jason staring at
Jessica, her head turned to Jessica, but Jessica kept her eyes on the plate in front of
her. Cindy saw the blush on her cheeks, and kne w that something had happened
between them. She shook her head and continued eating, but felt troubled at the
look she saw in Jason‟s eyes.
A few days later Jacob returned from the bush and Jason who was still busy working
on the equipment in the shed heard the jeep arriving, he stepped outside to greet his
brother walking toward Jacob his hand outstretched. Jacob ignored the gesture, and
strolled toward the house blatantly choosing to ignore him. Jason stared after him,
slowly dropping his hand to his side, feeling annoyed at his brothers abrupt
rudeness. Jessica watched Jacob as he approached her, she also noticed the
fatigue and worry on his face. Without a word, he took her in his arms, and kissed
her. Jessica lay against his chest.” I missed you.”
He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. “I missed you too.”
Jason eyes narrowed, and he felt a tinge of jealousy as he watched the scene
between his brother and Jessica. Jacob and Jessica went into the house, and Jason
filled with mixed emotions kicked the side of the jeep, and returned to the shed. He
sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall closing his eyes. His mind was in
turmoil, as he thought back on how he had felt when he kissed Jessica. He had
kissed many women before, but this was different, he had felt passion and desire
that he had never experienced with any other woman.
Jessica lay in Jacob‟s arms her head was resting on his chest and she listened to
the steady rhythm of his heart. “When are you going back?” her voice was filled with
trepidation.
“In about two… three days.” She came up on her elbow staring at him.
“So soon…”
“I‟m afraid so,” He sa w the anxiety in her eyes and pulled her closer feeling her
breath on his face. His heart pounded in his ears as the desires and complete love
he felt for her overwhelmed him. She laid back, he stared at her, caressing her face
gently and tracing the outline of her lips with his finger. “Jessica I love you so much,”
17

18. His voice, reflected the passion he felt. She pulled him closer and they made love
deep into the night.
The months passed with Jacob a way most of the time, training the rangers and
getting the operation underway for the day that they will have the poachers put away
for good. He thought of Jason and was glad he had asked him to stay. He had
proven to be handy, and was a hard worker. Jacob also felt more at ease kno wing
that there is a man around to look out for Jessica and the boys when he was out in
the bush. His relationship with his brother had developed into an cordial and slightly
indifferent sort of relationship.
Jason, found it difficult to keep his feelings under control and thre w himself into the
work that needed to be done, repairing and fixing up the house getting everything
done that Jacob being away such a lot did not get around to.
The time had arrived and Jacob returned to the bush. Jessica sat outside on the
bench feeling saddened by the fact that he was a way again. It was difficult for her
even though she knew it was inevitable, but her heart felt heavy every time he left.
She saw Jason coming out of the shed, and watched him as he walked toward her.
In the months that had passed since he had kissed her, she tried to avoid him and
made sure she was never alone with him. Out of fear for what he may do to Jason,
she never indulged the secret she guiltily carried with her.
“May I?” Jason gestured to the bench she was sitting on. She nodded without
looking in his direction, and moved up to make space for him. An uncomfortable
silence ensued between them, both of them aware of the fact that they were sitting
very close to one another. Suddenly Jason broke the silence.
“Jess you have never told Jacob what happened, have you? Shocked by the sudden
question, she turned to him, her eyes distant and cold.
“No, there is nothing to tell, it meant nothing to me…..”Her voice faltered when she
saw the hurt in his eyes. She turned her face a way. Her words twisted like a knife in
his heart and another long silence followed.
“Jason I am so sorry… that came out wrong.”
He got up and walked to the edge of the veranda and turning leaned against the
railing facing her. He stared at her, his eyes filled with emotion, and the love he felt
for her. He opened his mouth to say something but stopped unable to speak. She felt
her heart beating in her throat when she sa w the look of hurt and rejection on his
face. She got up and walked toward him taking his hands in hers.
“I really am sorry; I should not have given you hope or lead you into believing that
there could ever be something between you and I”.
Jason felt measured hope turn to despair at her words. He took her by her
shoulders, forcing her to look at him. She felt trapped and unable to move as she
looked up at him, her eyes filled with anguish and despair.
“Jason…please!” He shook her by her shoulders.
18

19. “Jessica, look at me.” His words were forced through clenched teeth. She slowly
lifted her eyes and he cleared his throat feeling strangled with the pent up emotions
of the last months consuming him. “Jess, tell me you don‟t feel something for me,
and I promise I will leave you alone.” She s wallowed her throat felt constricted and
her voice was thick with emotion.
“Jason I…Don‟t kno w, I don‟t …”
He bent down and kissed her. She forced herself out of his embrace and ran
upstairs. Jessica slammed the bathroom door shut and looked at herself in the
mirror. She could still feel his lips on hers, she splashed her face, her breathing was
jagged and she sank to the floor crying. Jason had come to the realization that he
had fallen head over heels in love with his brother‟s wife and sat do wn on the bench
with a sigh of despair escaping from his lips. He Looked up he saw Cindy staring at
him from under the tree where she was watching the boys. She shook her head
looking the other way and he dropped his head in shame.
”Oh good Lord what have I done,” he groaned and put his hands over his face.
Jacobs face flashed before him and the guilt engulfing him was almost too much to
bear. He got up and walked into the bush hoping to clear his mind. Cindy had seen
what transpired between the two young people and took the boys upstairs so that
she could bath, feed and put them to bed. She knew that Jessica was going to be
upset and would not be able to cope with the little ones.
Jason paced up and down trying to control the anger he felt to ward himself. ”Ho w
could I be so stupid, she‟s my brother‟s wife for heaven sake,” he thought out loudly.
He sat down on a rock and banged his fist against his forehead. “You stupid… stupid
ass,” he again reprimanded himself loudly. He heard a twig break and s wung around
his heart beating in his throat from fright.. His eyes widened when he sa w Jacob
staring at him, his eyes cold, and his face revealing contempt and disappointment.
He knew by the look on Jacob‟s face that he had witnessed the scene between him
and Jessica.
Jacob felt the anger boiling like a festering sore within him. He slowly walked toward
Jason keeping his eyes on his brother‟s face, not saying a word. He stopped a step
short of Jason, his fists clenched in rage, his eyes revealed such anger that Jason
felt the cold shiver of fear do wn his spine.
“Jacob…I…it‟s not…” he felt something explode in his head when Jacobs‟s fist hit
him before he could finish his sentence, the world turned and he dropped to the
ground.
“Get up, you cheating lying scumbag! Jacob hissed through his teeth. Jason started
getting up his head still spinning but was scarcely up when he once again tasted the
fury of his brother‟s fist. He fell and the blood spurted from his mouth and nose.
Jacob looked down at his brother, feeling nothing but extreme dislike. Jason slowly
opened his eyes and stared up at Jacob, he cringed when he saw the loathing in his
eyes. He felt his heart restricting, and lifted his hand to ward his brother.
“Jacob I…I‟m sorry…” then he sa w nothing but blackness when Jacob hit him again.
Cindy softly knocked on the bathroom door. “Jess… are you alright?” She waited for
an answer but instead the door opened and a tearful Jessica fell into her arms. Cindy
19

20. had known Jessica all her life and could see that she was very upset and
bewildered. She held Jessica closely, soothing her as she had done when she was a
little girl. Jessica whispered through her tears “Cindy I have done something
terrible.”
” I know I sa w what happened.”
Jessica felt ashamed and her voice was desperate. „What am I going to do?” Cindy
stroked Jessica hair in an attempt to calm her down. “Now...now child calm down,
you love Jacob don‟t you?”
“Yes I love him very much,” Jessica replied through her tears.
“Well then, what happened between you and Jason was just a terrible mistake and
you were feeling vulnerable and lonely because Jacob is away.” Jessica looked at
Cindy desperately seeking answers.
”But why do I feel so attracted to Jason when he is around me?”
“My dear child, you are only human and Jason is a very attractive chap. So stop
beating yourself up, and just make sure it does not happen again.” Jessica looked at
Cindy pleading with her eyes.
” Please stay with me tonight.”
„Of course baby, of course.” Cindy led Jessica to her bedroom and tucked her in.
”Thank -you Cindy.” Jessica whispered in a small voice.
„It is a pleasure my angel, you just call if you need me, no w try to get some sleep.”
Cindy sat with Jessica until she fell asleep, and then retired to her room next door.
Jacob turned and walked toward the house leaving his brother unconscious in the
dust. He went upstairs to the room and slowly walked to the bed. He sat down on the
side of the bed staring at Jessica. He reached out touching the side of her face
gently. She stirred and suddenly her eyes flew open staring directly at him. “Jacob…
what…when… did you get back?
“A few hours ago.” She heard the strained sound in his voice. She was confused and
worried.
“But you said you were going to be a way for a day or two.”
He stared at her, and then in a voice that sent shivers down her spine replied, “Well
maybe it is a good thing I returned earlier isn‟t it?
“Jacob…what‟s wrong, what happened? He got up taking off his shirt. When he
spoke, his voice was cynical and cold.
”Oh, I don‟t know, maybe you can tell me.” He got into bed turning his back on her.
She was taken aback by his attitude and touched his shoulder.
“Jacob? He shook her hand off.
20

21. “I am tired… so please…” she pulled her hand back and frowning turned off the
light. She laid awake most of the night worrying about Jacobs‟s sudden cold
aloofness.
Jessica, Cindy and Jacob were up early having coffee in the kitchen when Jason
walked in wearing only his pants. Jessica‟s breathe caught in her throat, when she
saw the bruises on his face and body. Feeling Jacobs‟s eyes on her she immediately
looked at him raising her eyebrows. Without giving any explanation, he got up and
left the kitchen. Jason poured himself a cup of coffee and lent against the counter
staring at the floor. It took all of his self-control not to look up at Jessica for fear that
he may see resentment in her eyes. Jessica, no longer able to be in the same room,
excused herself and left, without looking in his direction. His eyes followed her as
she walked out. Cindy noticed a look in his eyes. It was a look of adoration, love,
tenderness and sadness. She cleared her throat to attract his attention. His head
slowly turned in her direction, he was not quite sure what to expect. He was
surprised to see a look of empathy and understanding on her face. “She is beautiful
isn‟t she, and you love her.”
“Yes … I …yes.” Jason realized that Cindy saw right through him and that it would
not have helped lying to her or himself any longer.
“Jason, Jessica is your brother‟s wife you had no right to take advantage of her
vulnerability, or to betray your brother.” Her voice was stern…”What were you
thinking? Jason looked up at her with pain-filled eyes. He walked to the table,
pulled out a chair, and sat down folding his arms and resting his head on them.
”I know it was wrong but it just happened,” his voice wavered. She reached out, and
put her hand on his arm.
“I understand Jason... I understand, and the bruises what happened? He lifted his
head smiling, and his swollen lips contorted with the effort.
“Oh, my brother and I had a bit of a chat”
“Jason no… does...” her eyes widened in shock.
“Yes…yes he knows.” Cindy felt her heart sink to her shoes, and kne w that nothing
good was going to come from this.
Jessica found Jacob in the garden staring out over the bush. She went to where he
was standing. “Jacob what happened to Jason? He turned to her his eyes searching
hers. He touched her face and his voice was strained.
“We had a man to man talk nothing serious, don‟t worry yourself about it.” Jessica
realized with a shock that Jacob must have seen her and Jason on the porch. She
took his face in her hands staring into his eyes. “Jacob nothing happened and
nothing will happen I love you…only you.”
He put his arms around her pulling her close, and resting his face on her head he
whispered, “I know sweetheart...I kno w, I love you too, more than life itself.”
“Let‟s go find the boys,” Jessica took his hand, and together they walked off to find
the children. For the next few months, Jason avoided Jacob, but he could not help
21

22. but wonder why Jacob had not told him to leave. He also made sure to keep his
distance from Jessica, by leaving the house early before anyone wakes, and only
returning when everyone was asleep. A fe w mornings later Jason was in the kitchen
having coffee, when Jacob walked in. He lifted the coffee canister looking at Jacob.
“Coffee?” His voice was polite and constrained.
“Thanks,” accepted Jacob walking toward the cupboard where the uniforms for the
rangers were kept. He returned to the table thro wing one of the uniforms on the
table, picked up his mug, and bringing it to his lips, looked over the rim at Jason.
“Put it on you are coming with me.”
Jason looks up in surprise his eyebrows raised. “What did you say?”
“You heard me, be ready in ten.” Jacob turned and ran upstairs. He entered the
children‟s room and looked down at the sleeping boys. He bent kissing each child
whispering softly, “See you later, be good and look after your mom.” He left the
room to find Jessica. He found her standing by the windo w, looking out. He put his
hands on her hips and kissed her neck. “I am going to the bush do some work, and I
am taking Jason with me.” She stiffened at his words and turned to look at him.
“Don‟t worry it is only routine, and we will be back by this evening,” he smiled down
at her. “Now you keep the bed warm and I will be back before you know it, Ok?
Jason followed Jacob through the bush and was amazed at ho w fit his brother was.
They had been going for hours at a relentless pace and he felt himself tiring. Jacob
gave Jason a quick course on finding traps and the signs to look out for when there
are poachers about. As the day wore on Jason gained respect for the work that his
brother was doing. Jacob grinned to himself when he heard Jason‟s labored
breathing as he tired but he pushed on relentlessly not stopping until Jason suddenly
stopped and wheezed bending over in an effort to catch his breath.
“Jeez bro, I can‟t go any further,” he lay do wn under a tree breathing heavily. Jacob
looked down at his brother, his face was complacent and he took pleasure in the fact
that Jason was finding it so difficult to keep up.
“Ok we will rest for awhile,” he took out his water bottle drinking from it, after which
he handed to Jason. Taking the bottle, he looked up at Jacob shaking his head.
Jacob raised his eyebrows. “What?
“I don‟t kno w ho w you do it,” Jason wiped the sweat from his brow.
“It‟s my job, one gets used to it.” Jacob picked up his rifle and slung it over his
shoulder. “You wait here, I am going to check out something, keep your rifle at the
ready and be vigilant, there are dangerous animals about.” Before Jason could say
anything, he disappeared into the bush.
Jason got up and stood with his back against a large tree. He pointed his rifle to ward
the bushes, feeling nervous and suddenly very alone. His mind wandered and he
thought of Jessica, and the love he felt for her. He felt frustrated by the fact that he
could not be with her. He did not want to be the cause of breaking up a family unit
that was so strongly bound by love, compassion and dedication.
22

23. Jacob climbed up onto a hill where he had a good vantage point. He scouted the
area looking through his binoculars, for tell tale signs of poachers. Suddenly Jason
appeared in his path of vision. He watched him, and thought of the day he had seen
Jason and Jessica on the veranda. He dropped the binoculars letting it rest on his
chest, and picked up his rifle. He lifted it to his shoulder and looked through the
telescope, moving the rifle in the direction where he had left Jason. He could see him
clearly and took aim, his finger resting on the trigger. He slowly and deliberately
started squeezing the trigger and at the last minute turned his rifle slightly to the right
firing.
Jason heard the shot and seconds later felt the heat of the bullet as it passed within
an inch from his head and slammed into the tree behind him. He dropped to the
ground covering his head with his arms, his heart pounding in his ears. Jacob saw
Jason drop from sight and started down the hill, the blood draining from his face. He
ran into the clearing where he had left his brother, and saw Jason getting up slowly.
He stopped dead in his tracks staring at Jason, feeling relieved that he had not killed
him. Jason slowly looked up at Jacob and with a voice trembling from shock snarled,
“What the hell were you thinking, you could have killed me!
“You‟re right I could have.” Jacob retorted nonchalantly resting his rifle in the crook of
his arm. Jason bent to pick up the water bottle. Without taking his eyes off Jacob‟s
face, he took a drink, his throat suddenly very dry. Jacob felt the water bottle hit him
on the side of his head and before he could react, Jason attacked. Jason‟s fist hit
him on the side of his jaw, and he dropped to the ground, he tried to focus then sa w
Jason approaching, his face snarling in fury. He waited until Jason was close enough
and suddenly kicked out with both legs, sending him flying through the air.
Jason‟s breath escaped his body when landed hard on his back. In a flash Jacob
was standing over him jabbing at his face with his fists, he heard the bone in his
nose crack, and the taste of blood filled his mouth. Jacob bent and picked Jason up
by his shirt collar, he brought his fist up and with all the force he was able to muster,
he hit Jason on the edge of his jaw. He went limp and Jacob dropped him to the
ground, coming up slowly trying to get his breathing under control. He stood over
Jason staring down at him, and wiping the blood dripping from the corner of his
mouth, he stepped over his brother and stumbled toward a tree, he sat with his back
against the trunk facing Jason. A fe w minutes later Jason groaned, he came up
slowly, holding his head in his hands. He spat the blood from his mouth, trying to
focus on his surroundings but everything was swimming before his eyes, and he laid
back down, another groan escaping from his mouth.
Jacob got up and walked to Jason, he thre w the water bottle do wn beside him, and
with a voice that sent a shiver of apprehension down Jason‟s spine, told him to wash
his face. Jason slowly turned around and supporting himself on his arms came up on
one knee, his head throbbed. For a second he closed his eyes, and then lifted up the
water bottle throwing water over his face. He got up and his legs felt like lead. He
forced himself to take a fe w steps to ward the shade and sat against a tree next
Jacob.
Jason closed his eyes trying to get rid of the nausea welling up. He felt himself
drifting away and forced his eyes open, but by no w his eyes were almost swollen
23

24. shut, so he kept them closed and mumbled through swollen lips. „Jeez… Jacob did
you have to hit me so hard?
“No, but I wanted to,” Jacob grinned to himself, it took all of his self-control not burst
out laughing as he looked at Jason‟s face that by now was s wollen out of proportion
and looked very comical. Jacob waited patiently for Jason who had fallen asleep to
wake. He started feeling slight remorse for what he had done to his brother, but
immediately thought of Jessica, and decided that it was justified, and that Jason
would have to learn that actions had consequences. An hour later Jason woke up
and tried to sit up but the earth started turning and he leaned back against the tree.
He lay quietly with his eyes closed to afraid to move, and felt Jacobs‟s eyes on him.
“You still here?”
“Yes I am still here…Jason I am going to ask you something, and I want an honest
answer.”
“Sure… anything.” Jason felt dread knowing what his brother was going to ask.
“Jason, have you fallen in love with my wife? His heart skipped a beat and he shifted
uncomfortably. Jacob got up and stood in front of Jason staring do wn at him with
narrowed eyes. He kicked at Jason‟s leg. “I asked you a question!
“Jacob…I…I…yes damn it yes, I love Jessica! He shouted back at Jacob. Jacob felt
the anger rising as he bent down and grabbed Jason once more by the shirtfront
lifting him so that his face was level with his.
“Right, now you listen closely, because I am only going to say this once. If you ever
touch my wife again… so help me …I will kill you!” he said through clenched teeth,
shoving Jason back against the tree.
Jessica was worried it was getting late and the men were not back yet. She turned to
Cindy, “I hope they are alright…you don‟t think…? Her question hung in the air
when Cindy interrupted.
“No Jessica I am sure they‟re fine, don‟t go jumping ahead of yourself always
fearing the worst.” Suddenly Jessica saw the lights of the jeep approaching and
sighed, a sigh of relief. She waited outside as the jeep came slowly up the driveway.
Jacob helped Jason from the jeep putting his arm over his shoulder to support him.
Jessica gasped when she saw Jason‟s s wollen face and the blood on both men.
“What…what happened?” her voice was fearful. Jacob pushed past her and dropped
Jason unceremoniously on one of the chairs in the family room.
“See to him.” He walked toward the whisky cabinet, and saw Jessica move in
Jason‟s direction. He s wung around. “Not you Jessica...not you.” He looked at Cindy
lifting his brows, “Cindy?
“Yes yes of course.” Jacob turned and poured himself a stiff drink. He felt Jessica‟s
eyes burn into his back, and turned around facing her. He stared at her not saying a
word.
“Jacob…?
24

25. “No questions Jess,” he gulped down his drink and put down the glass. He walked
toward Jessica the cold glint in his eyes softening as he approached her. He put his
arms around her, holding her close. At first she stood quietly in his arms, and then
pulled slightly back looking at his face. She saw the bruise on his chin and gingerly
touched it.
“Jacob…please tell me what…” she stopped abruptly when she saw the coldness
return to his eyes. He bent do wn and picked her up carrying her to the bedroom. For
the next few weeks everything was relative peaceful, with everyone going about their
business. No mention had been made of the incident between Jason and Jacob.
Jessica could not help wondering what had happened between the two brothers.
She had noticed however, that Jason was keeping to himself most of the time, and
that the brothers were coldly polite toward one another, only speaking when it was
necessary. Jessica was also battling her o wn demons, trying to figure out why she
felt so attracted to Jason, when she kne w that she loved Jacob. Whenever she was
in Jason‟s presence, her heart beat uncontrollably and she felt excitement, as if they
were the only two people on the planet. Yet when she was alone with Jacob, she felt
safe and secure and knew that he was her life, her soul mate.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the laughter of children, and she walked to the
window. She looked into the garden and watched Jacob playing with the boys. She
smiled at their antics. Jacob almost turned into a little boy himself, whenever he was
with the children. These past few weeks had been wonderful, with Jacob home most
of the time, being able to spend more quality time with his family, but she wondered
for how long, before he was called for duty once again. The poachers had been quite
for a while, but she knew that it is just a matter of time. Jessica went to the kitchen
and poured drinks for everyone taking it out and putting it do wn on the table under
the shade of the big tree.
“Come boys get something to drink.” She sat down beside Cindy sipping her drink.
Jacob sat down opposite her catching his breath.
“Thanks sweetheart just what the doctor ordered”. He looked at Jessica over the rim
of his glass and winked. She felt her cheeks turn red and looked toward the children.
Jacob grinned at Cindy looking like a naughty schoolboy. She shook her head and
with a smile continued knitting. Jessica picked up the tray and took it into the kitchen,
she stopped dead when she saw Jason leaning against the cupboard. She dropped
her eyes and moved toward the cupboard to put the tray do wn. He did not move, and
stared at her his green eyes screaming out the love he felt for her. She stood with
the tray in her hands waiting for him to move.
Jason‟s heart was beating rapidly and he felt an uncontrollable urge to kiss her. He
pushed himself from the counter and took the tray from her hands putting it down.
Jessica felt as if she was drowning, her throat constricting and her heart pounding in
her ears, she looked up at Jason and he took a step to ward her not taking his eyes
of her face. She tried to step back, but it was too late. He had his arms around her
pulling her toward him. His lips found hers and he kissed her with so much passion
that she felt herself reeling. Her resolve dissipated at his touch. As from a far, she
suddenly heard Jacobs‟s laughter fill the air, and came to her senses, pushing Jason
so violently that he staggered backward against the cupboard and hit his head hard
against one of the open doors. He closed his eyes as a sharp pain shot through his
25

26. head almost bringing tears to his eyes. He brought his hand up gingerly touching the
back of his head, and felt a lump forming. He shook his head and opened his eyes
but Jessica has already fled from the kitchen. “Well I probably deserved that,” he
mumbled under his breath, turning to get some aspirin and a glass of water.
A few mornings later Jacob took Jessica‟s face in his hands. “Jess I‟ll be back soon,
I love you.” He stooped down to kiss her. The call that Jessica had been dreading
had come through and it was time for him to return to the bush.
“Jacob please be safe.”
He kissed her again and turned to Jason, who had been standing quietly watching.
“Watch out for my family.”
“Are you sure you don‟t want me to come with you?
“No I need someone to be here, in case…” he paused, “I just need someone to look
after my family, could you do that? This time there is an undertone of warning to his
voice.
“Sure, of course Jacob,” Jason tried to look serious. Jacob stared at his brother. The
stare that was cold and calculating made Jason so uncomfortable that he dropped
his eyes. “Jacob I will make sure they are safe…scouts honor.”
Jacob shook his head and once again turned to Jessica taking her in his arms. He
held her tightly against his chest, and whispered with his mouth against her ear, “I
love you Jess more than life itself, remember that always.” He got into the jeep and
without looking back drove off into the bush.
Jacob took of his hat and wiped the s weat from his bro w, running his fingers through
his clammy hair and put his hat back on. He knew that they were getting closer to
the poachers and was feeling nervous. They had been in the bush for two full days
and he was exhausted. It was very hot and humid, and he could feel the perspiration
running down his back and chest. Jacob noticed one of the rangers giving him a sign
and he looked through his binoculars. Far off in the distance he saw something
moving through the bush. He gave his rangers the go-ahead sign, and picking up his
rifle, they moved on, senses refined and alert to the danger they were approaching.
His thoughts were with Jessica and the boys and he wished that this were all over so
that he could be with them again. He missed them so much it hurt. He tried to
concentrate on the job at hand, but his mind kept drifting back to his family.
Cindy got the boys ready; she was taking them to the city to do some shopping.
Jessica walked them to the car and helped Cindy strap the exited children into their
car seats. She waved until the car disappeared out of sight and went inside the
house to find Jason waiting for her.
”Jessica....” she tried to push past him. He grabbed her by the arm, “Jessica wait,
I…” he s wallowed trying to think of the right thing to say.” I am truly sorry, please try
to understand.” She looked up at him and saw his eyes pleading with her. She stared
at him her mouth opening to say something but the words did not come. He reached
out and touched her face. “I Love you Jessica.”
26

27. She was so taken aback she just stared at him. He stepped closer.” Jessica?” He
looked at her pleadingly. She stood rooted to the spot unable to move, her heart
pounding uncontrollably.
“Jason I...” he put his finger on her lips and with his other arm dre w her closer. Her
body relaxed against him; she could no longer fight him. His lips found hers and as if
synchronized their hearts beat in unison. She felt his hand move down her back
caressing her softly. He pulled her down onto the carpet all the while kissing and
caressing her. She started responding to his advances and moved her hands over
the rippling muscles on his back. No longer able to contain their feelings they made
passionate love. They fell back exhausted savoring the moment. Jason turned on his
side lifting himself up on his elbow, he stared at her his eyes taking in every inch of
her face and body. Jessica could feel his eyes on her and murmured under her
breath.
“You‟re staring.”
He grinned and kissed her on her mouth, nose, eyes, and neck. Her skin tingled and
she pulled him toward her. She kissed him, and they made love again. Spent they
fell asleep. Jessica awoke to the sound of an approaching car. ”Jason wake up
Cindy and the boys are back...Jason!” She shook him. He opened his eyes and
realizing what she just said gathered his clothes from the floor and ran upstairs with
Jessica following short on his heels.
Cindy went to the kitchen to rustle up supper and called everyone to the table.
Jessica and Jason sat down on opposite sides to each other carefully trying to hide
what happened between them, from Cindy and the boys. ”Did you enjoy your day
out?” Jessica asked the little ones. They shook their heads already half-asleep.
“I‟ll put them to bed.” Jason scooped up both boys and carried them upstairs.
Jessica‟s eyes followed them as they left the room. She looked back at Cindy who
was watching her with raised eyebro ws. She immediately dropped her eyes fearing
that Cindy would see the guilt in them. “What?”
“I don‟t know you tell me.” Jessica detected a tinge of sarcasm in Cindy‟s voice.
“There is nothing to tell,” she ans wered blushing.
” Oh…really?” Cindy asked mockingly.
“Yes really,” Jessica was immediately on the defensive, and slightly annoyed at
Cindy for being so observant.
“Well then…” Cindy got up “I will leave you to it, see you in the morning.”
“Thank you Cindy, see you tomorrow.” Jason appeared in the door.
“Is she gone?”
“Yes she‟s gone.” He walked toward her and taking her in his arms, he gave her a
long lingering kiss. Halfheartedly she pushed him away.
“Enough already I am going to bed.”
He looked at her longingly. “Can I come to?”
27

28. “Oh no you don‟t I am going to bed alone I‟m exhausted.”
She disappeared up the stairs, feeling his eyes on her back. ”Wow what a woman,”
he thought out loudly and retired to his room respecting her wishes. Sleep did not
come for Jessica. She lay in the dark her mind was racing. She was thinking of
Jacob out there in the bush and the tears spilled from her eyes. She had betrayed
Jacobs trust and felt the guilt engulf her. The tears flowed freely, and she pounded
her pillow, “why did I let it happen why, why? I should have stopped it going so far.”
She put her pillow over face trying to block out everything, and eventually cried
herself to sleep.
Sleep also evaded Jason as he lay in the dark mulling over repeatedly in his head
what had happened between him and Jessica. He felt guilty but had no regrets, he
loved her more than ever and that he could not take back, however, he kne w that if
Jacob ever found out he would kill him for sure. He fell into a restless fitful sleep.
Jacob rested against a tree trunk catching his breath, they were now so close he
could smell them. He listened to the muffled voices carrying toward him in the still of
the night. He took out his water bottle and getting up brought it to his lips.
First, he felt the pressure in his chest and then a searing hot pain. He collapsed
against the tree and slid to the ground as if in slow motion, bringing his hand to his
chest tugging at the unbearable pain. He took his hand away and stared at the blood
dripping from his fingers. The last thing he heard was someone calling out his name
asking if he was all right. He felt himself sinking into a tunnel of darkness with no
light at the end.
Jessica woke up with a start trying to figure out where the sound was coming from
that woke her. Her eyes fell on the transmitter‟s red flashing light. She was petrified,
knowing that the radio was only for emergencies. With legs feeling like lead she
picked it up and listened to the voice on the other side. The blood slowly drained
from her face, and clutching the radio to her chest she slid to the floor the words
echoing in her ears.”Mrs. Mc Bride we are sorry to inform you that your husband has
been shot.”
Jacobs’s legacy
Chapter 2
Jessica walked up the hill toward the graves. When she reached the clearing
between the trees, she paused; it felt as if her heart was breaking into a million little
pieces. The tears burned behind her eyelids and her legs were like lead. She closed
her eyes and the tears rolled down her cheeks like a river in flood. She silently
prayed for strength, willing herself to move forward, and be strong. She walked
towards the graves of her family, changing her ritual of visiting the other grave first,
as she had done so many times before, when she first came to look for the graves of
her family.
She carefully arranged flowers on the graves of her parents and siblings, staring for
a while at the six graves, the white crosses showing off starkly against the greenery
of the shrubs behind them. She turned around and slowly walked to where Jacobs‟s
first wife and son lay buried. She went through the ritual of arranging flowers and
placing them carefully on the mound of stones all the while feeling so choked up that
28

29. she could hardly breathe. Then she slowly turned to the right of the grave, and now
not being able to focus because of the tears, looked at the eighth white cross
swimming before her eyes. She collapsed onto her knees by the grave as the pain
and grief engulfed her, covering her face with her hands, she almost cannot bear to
look at this cross standing white and very real before her. She eventually forced her
eyes upwards and the inscription engraved on the cross-screamed back at her. She
read the words that she had read many times in the past year.
“My beloved husband Jacob taken from me to early because of the
greed of mankind, may you rest in peace. I will never forget you
for as long as I live. You have left a whole in my heart and
emptiness in my soul. Please forgive me. I will always love you.
Jessica.”
The words faded as her eyes again filled with tears. She lay down putting her head
on the grave and her tears stained the stones beneath her. She stayed like that for a
long time before sitting up; not moving away from the place her husband lay buried
forever. She took a letter from her pocket and carefully opened it, reading the words
that she kne w of by hart as if seeking comfort in them.
“My darling Jessica,
If you are reading this letter I am no longer with you, but I want
you to know that I will always be with you in spirit. My darling I
do not want you to put your life on hold, you must go on. You
deserve to be happy and loved, so please if you find love be free to
live life as it should be lived…”
She paused and the tears spilled from her eyes, falling onto the letter in her hand.
She wiped the tears from her face and trying to compose herself continued reading.
“Tell the boys I love them, and that I will be watching out for
them. When you look up at the night sky and see a bright star that
will be me winking at you. Just remember I love you, and thank
you for giving me the best years of my life... Jacob.
Ps. Tell Jason I forgive him and that he must take over my work
until my sons are old enough to take over.”
She slowly put down the letter the grief she was feeling etched on her face.
Jason looked down at the two infants lying side by side in their crib. Three-month-old
twins Chloe and Elijah slept peacefully, oblivious of the turmoil that had invaded the
house. Jason thought back on the day he and Jessica had spent together, and he
had declared his love for her. He looked down at the babies again and could not help
wondering if they were his children or Jacobs. A sudden tenderness and love
appeared on his face as he stooped down and touched the little ones heads, stroking
their chubby cheeks and feeling the soft silky skin beneath his fingers. Either way,
whether they were his brothers or his children he had loved them from the day they
29

30. were born. His eyes got a far of look in them as he thought back on that terrible night
they had lost Jacob.
The night that Jessica had received the devastating ne ws of Jacobs‟s death, Jason
found her lying on the floor crying so heartbreakingly that he felt as if his heart was
being ripped from his chest. He immediately tried to console her, but she had looked
up at him with such devastation and hurt in her eyes that he stopped dead in his
tracks, and not kno wing how he should approach her just stared do wn at her. His
heart was breaking for her, and not being able to see her in so much pain he
stepped closer and tried to take her in his arms. Without looking at him she had said
in a voice raw with pain and grief.
“Jason please don‟t, don‟t come near me… don‟t touch me… don‟t say anything
...just leave.” He was shocked and hurt at her harsh words but he had left the room
without another word. He gave her space to grief, but a year had gone by and their
relationship had never been the same. She hardly looked at him, and avoided him
whenever possible, only speaking to him when it was necessary. To make matters
worse, she never looked at her babies or went near them, to her they did not exist.
He had to get in extra nannies to take care of the babies, and he himself tried to
spend as much time as he could with them.
After Jacobs‟s death, she withdrew her only concern being Dylan and Timothy‟s
welfare. She spent most of her time with them. The boys had come to terms with the
fact that their father was never coming home and only talked and asked questions
about him when they were with Jessica. Jason and the boys had a good relationship,
and he tried to do things with them that fathers and sons would do, and he believed
that it had helped them get over their father‟s death a lot easier. If only he could get
through to Jessica. He loved her so much and found it hard that he was not able to
touch or be intimate with her.
Leaving the little ones to sleep Jason went to his room. He sat on the side of the bed
and reached out for a book lying on the side table. He opened it and took out an
envelope. For a long time he stared at his name, written in his brother‟s handwriting.
The letter had been given to him a year ago by one of Jacobs‟s rangers. He had
picked this letter up many times since then, but was never able to read it. He put it
down, and rested his head in his hands closing his eyes. He contemplated whether
he should read it or not, fearing what was written in it, taking in account the type of
relationship he had with his brother. He turned his head and stared at the letter lying
on the bed. He reached out and sighed picking it up. Jason took the letter out and
slowly folded it open. He stared out in front of him, the letter lying open on his lap
then he looked down and picking it up started reading...
“Jason you know by now why you are reading this letter. First off, I
want to apologize for the way I treated you when you first arrived
at my home. I am truly sorry. Secondly, I forgive you for the
wrongdoings of the past, and the present…”
Shaking his head, he continued reading.
“You and I were both young, and I cannot hold what our father
caused against you. I cannot and never will forgive him, but I
30

31. am sorry that I did not have enough time to get to know you
better. One more thing, look after my wife and sons. Also I ask
that you take over the duties on the farm until my sons are old
enough to do so. Jacob.”
Jason put down the letter thinking that it was so typical of Jacob to get straight to the
point. He suddenly felt very guilty thinking back on the day with Jessica, whilst his
brother was out risking his life for the good of humankind. Jason felt the tears, as he
mourned the untimely and early demise of his brother for the first time in a year.
Jessica slowly got up and walked to the head of Jacobs‟s grave. She touched the
white cross. “I love you Jacob… and I miss you.” She turned and walked down the
hill without looking back. As she reached the foot of the hill, Dylan and Timothy ran
toward her. She waited for them with a smile on her face. Her eyes turned to Dylan,
she saw the blond hair blowing in the wind, teeth white against his tanned face and
her heart lurched, he was the spitting image of Jacob. The tears once more spilled
from her eyes but she quickly wiped them away as the boys reached her side.
They took hold of her hands and walking on either side of her started leading her
toward the house. Cindy got up from where she was sitting under the shade of the
large tree and met them halfway. She looked at Jessica and could see that she had
been crying. “Are you alright angel?” she asked in a concerned voice. Jessica shook
her head unable to speak for fear that she may start crying again.
Reaching the front door Cindy turned to Jessica. “I will see to the boys and prepare
their lunch; you go and have a nice hot bath.” Jessica thankfully accepted the offer of
kindness and went upstairs. After her bath, Jessica walked down the passage and
passed the door to the baby‟s nursery on her way to her bedroom. She suddenly
stopped turning around and slowly walked up to the closed door, staring at it. She
closed her eyes briefly and reaching out opened the door. She walked toward the
crib and gazed do wn at the twins. Since their birth, she had not been able to bond
with them. Jason had immediately taken over, hiring nannies, choosing their names
and having them baptized. As Jessica stared at them, she could not help but wonder
whether these children were the fruits of her deception or her love. She closed her
eyes and her mind drifted to the last night she had spent with Jacob before he died.
She smiled when she thought ho w deeply she loved him, and how he loved and
gave his all to her and the boys. She felt terrible regret thinking back on the day she
had given into Jason in a moment of weakness and desire.
A look of sadness appeared on her face. She had deceived the man she loved the
most in the world, and had not been able to forgive herself for that moment of
weakness that changed the course of her life forever. The tears ran freely as she
tried to come to terms with the fact that she would never be able to ask Jacob for his
forgiveness. A sudden whimpering from one of the babies brought her abruptly back
to reality. She looked down and saw that Chloe was busy waking up. She smiled
when she looked down at the crumpled little face with the bottom lip pushing out as
she tried to cry, and her face turned red with the effort. As she looked down at her
little daughter, something changed when she felt the motherly instinct rush to the
fore from the deep recesses of her heart, where she had locked it a way.
31

32. Jessica bent and picked Chloe up, hugging her to her breast, too frightened to put
her down for fear that the sudden love surging up in her would disappear. She
cradled the baby in her arm looking down at her face, searching for something that
would remind her of Jacob. Chloe suddenly opened her eyes and looked straight at
Jessica. She noticed that the baby had her eyes. The little one kept her eyes riveted
on Jessica‟s face, and suddenly a big toothless smile appeared and Jessica felt her
heart melting.
“Hello baby.” The little girls smile broadened as she heard her mother‟s voice, and in
return, she gurgled. Jessica smiled and with her finger, she tapped lightly on the tip
of the baby‟s nose, “You are beautiful, yes you are.” Her head turned to Elijah, who
was still fast asleep. She decided to spend some time with Chloe and get to kno w
her, while the little boy was still asleep. Jessica put Chloe on the bed to change her
into something cooler. As she turned the child, over on to her tummy she froze
staring at the little ones left shoulder. Her heart started beating faster as she
stooped down and traced with her finger along the unusually shaped birthmark on
Chloe‟s shoulder. She was shocked realizing that these twins were not Jacobs‟s
children, but Jason‟s. Her mind reverted back to the day her and Jason had made
love, and how she had seen the mark on his shoulder, thinking how unusually
shaped it was. She stood quietly staring at the child‟s back, mixed feelings of
emotion, fear, guilt and uncertainty coursing through her body. She did not kno w
whether she should feel relieved or disappointed, that Jacob was not the father after
all. Jessica was so deep in thought that she did not hear Elijah crying for attention.
Greta one of the nannies picked the crying child up and laid him down on the bed.
Jessica suddenly realized that the nannies had arrived. “It‟s alright Greta I will see to
the babies today you can take the day off.”
“Thank you madam I will see you tomorrow then?”
“Yes…yes of course.” Jessica picked up her little son. She changed and fed the
babies, her mind in turmoil not knowing how she was going to break the news to
Jason. Jessica spent the rest of the day in the nursery, wanting to make up for
everything she had missed over the last three months.
Jason arrived home after a day in the bush and entered the kitchen where Dylan
and Timothy were having their dinner. He smiled down at them. “Hello boys.”
“Hello Uncle Jason.” He sat down at the table with the boys. Cindy fetched his
dinner from the oven and set it down before him.
“Where is Jessica?”
“I think she is in the nursery with the babies.” She watched his face waiting eagerly
for a reaction. His head jerked up, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“She is?
“Yes since this morning,” replied Cindy with a smile.
Jason continued eating hoping that Jessica had seen the light, and that she could
now move for ward, he was cautiously optimistic and happy at the same time. Cindy
put the boys to bed and retired. Jason went upstairs and paused at the door to the
nursery. He listened but heard no sound coming from the room, so he slowly opened
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