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Restitution
Resources

• Slideshare: http://www.slideshare.net/
  Restitution Zen


• www.realrestitution.com
Definition of Restitution
                     2




 • Create the conditions for the person to
 • Fix their mistakes
 • Return to the group
 • STRENGTHENED
Teaching Kids to Look Inside
             3
Restitution Mantra
        4
Control Theory
      5
Why People Behave            6




                Avoid Pain
                  Punisher

Teacher does Yell & Points

                 If you don’t
Teacher says
                      I’ll
                  Rebels &
   Legacy
                   Blames

Students says    I don’t care

  Students        Repeated
  outcome          offense
Positions of Control      7




               Avoid Pain
            Punisher       Guilter

Teacher      Yell &       Preaches &
 does        Points        Shoulds
Teacher    If you don’t   You know
 says           I’ll        better
            Rebels &      Hide Deny
Legacy
             Blames          LIE
Students
           I don’t care   I’m sorry
  says
Students    Repeated      Low self-
outcome      offense       esteem
Positions of Control         8


            Avoid Pain            Reward from others

           Punisher    Guilter         Buddy

Teacher     Yell &    Preaches Make excuse
                                for them
 does       Points    & Shoulds
Teacher If you You know
                          Do it for me
 says   don’t I’ll better

       Rebels & Hide
Legacy                                Dependency
        Blames Deny Lie
Students    I don’t               I thought you
                      I’m sorry   were my friend
  says        care
Students Repeat       Low self-
                                      Weakness
outcome offense        esteem
Positions of Control
          Avoid Pain             Reward from others

          Punisher    Guilter      Buddy      Monitor

Teacher    Yell &    Preaches Make excuse      Counts &
                     & Shoulds for them        measures
 does      Points
Teacher If you You know           Do it for    What’s
 says   don’t I’ll better           me         the rule
       Rebels & Hide
Legacy                  Dependency Conformity
        Blames Deny Lie
                                 I thought you
Students I don’t                               How high/
                     I’m sorry      were my
                                                how far
  says     care                      friend
Students Repeat      Low self-          Consequence
                               Weakness
outcome offense       esteem             orientated
Positions of Control
               Avoid Pain                Reward from others        Respecting Self


           Punisher      Guilter       Buddy          Monitor          Manager

Teacher     Yell &      Preaches &   Make excuse       Counts &           Asks
                         Shoulds      for them         measures         questions
 does       Points

Teacher     If you                    Do it for       What’s the      What do you
                        You know
                                                       rule?           believe?
 says      don’t I’ll                   me
                          better

           Rebels &     Hide Deny
Legacy                               Dependency       Conformity       Strengthens
                           Lie
            Blames
                                     I thought you
Students    I don’t                                    Counts &      What can I do
                        I’m sorry       were my
                                                       measures        to fix it?
  says        care                       friend

Students   Repeat       Low self-                    Conseequence         Self
                                     Weakness          oriented        Restitution
outcome    offense       esteem
Time to Reflect
      11
The ANSWERS
         MONITOR                            MANAGER

 Provide minimal choices             Provides many choices
Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start

      Teacher-directed                      Child-driven

 States what will happen                  Asks questions

    External motivation                 Internal motivation

     Teacher-evaluation                   Self-motivation

 Teaches external control               Teaches self-control
Does not help meet child’s 4 basic   Helps child meet all four basic
             needs                               needs
Basic Needs
               12




• Food
• Shelter
• Health
• Sleep
• Fresh Air
• Security
Love & Belonging
                13




• Caring
• Sharing
• Joining
• Accepting
• Friendship
• Cooperating

                     Unconditional or Conditional
Power and Love   14




• Conditional Love




• Unconditional Love
Empowerment
                 15




• Achiever
• Success
• Do you best
• Capable
• Leader
• Skilled
                      deep or cheap
Freedom
                   16




• Choices
• Adventure
• Experiment
• Independent
• Creative
• Liberty
FUN
                17




• Playful
• Humor
• Pleasure
• Enjoyment
• Laughter
• Excitment
• Enthusiasm         Clean or Mean??
4 Corners of the room
                   18




• Where do you stand? Which cup do
  you need to have most full?


• Or are you balance...middle of the room


• Can this place change?
Why the NEEDS?
      19
Fortune 500    20




                               NOW       1970
    TEAMWORK                    1        10
   Problem solving              2        12
 Interpersonal skills           3        13
Oral communication              4         4
       Listening                5         5
Personal Developmt.             6         6
  Creative Thinking             7         7
      Leadership                8         8
     Goal Setting               9         9
         Writing               10         1
Organizational Effectiveness
                               11        11
     Computation               12         2
        Reading                13         3
Thank you
• Trials, temptations, disappointments--
  all these are helps instead of
  hinderances, if one uses them rightly.
  They not only test the fiber of character,
  but strengthen it...Every trial endured
  and weathered in the right spirit makes
  a soul nobler and stronger than before.
            • James Buckham
Restitution Tool Kit
   •   Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules)

   •   Restitution Triangle

   •   Quality World

   •   30 second interventions

   •   Does it really matter?

   •   Yes if...

   •   My Job/Your Job

   •   Could you have done worse?

   •   Asking Questions

   •   WEAVING
Social Contract/Beliefs
• Creating a social contract in your
  classroom.
• What rules did you have as a child?
Restitution Triangle
                                                              What do we
       Not for no                                              believe?




                                                    W
        reason




                                l




                                                     ea
                              efu




                                                       re
                              os

                                ed
                                                                          Social
                           rp




                                                          i   nte
                                                   Se
                         pu

                              ne                                         Contract




                                                               rn
   Keep that
                         is




                                                      ek
                                                                all
   behavior,
                    ior

                          the




                                                                    ym
   add to it.




                                                         t he
                  av




                                                                               Person you




                                                                     oti
                  eh




                                                                               want to be.
                       te




                                                                      va
                lb




Could you




                                                               be
                                RESTITUTION
                    da




                                                                        ted
             Al




have done




                                                                    lie
 worse?
                   li




                                                                     f
                Va




                          Stabilize the identity
                         We are doing the best we can
            Be a good      Not interested   It’s ok to make     Your not the
             friend to        in fault          mistakes         only one
             yourself
Quality World
• Create your quality world. What would
  be in it?
30 Second Interventions
  Is what you are doing okay now?

                 What can I do to help you so you can...?
 When will you be ready to start?
                            What’s your job now?
It looks like we have a problem.
      How can we solve it?
              Do you want to figure out a better way?
                        How can I help?
More 30 Sec. Interventions
 How would you like to be treated during this activity?
                 Can you do that?

 Can you change what you        Is it okay to make mistakes?
are doing now to be helpful?            Can we fix it?

Are you being the kind of person you
            want to be ?
                               Would you like to do better?
               It looks like you have a problem.
                         How can I help?
Does it really matter?
Goals:
To identify areas in which we try to control other
people.
To select and prioritize the standards which reflect
our values.
To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to
set on others.
YES IF...
This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from
children to which they normally answer no or “No, because…” The
requests are usually simple ones such as “May I sharpen my pencil?
The answer my be “No, because I’m talking.” However, a better
answer would be one which redirects the child, such as “Yes, when
I’m finished giving instructions.”
YES IF...continued
• Say, YES... as often as possible.
• If you can’t say YES, say YES IF... or
  YES WHEN...
• When you say NO, give the child a
  reason and don’t change your mind.
My Job/Your Job
           My JOB is...              Your JOB is...
Teach you new things        To learn
Help you find answers        Be prepared to work
Have fun                    Be on time
Keep you safe               Try your best
Respect students            Ask questions
Evaluate students           Make responsible choices
Be prepared                 Solve problems
Safe learning environment   Self evaluate
        My JOB is NOT...
To give you the answer             Your JOB is not...
To yell                     To do nothing
To be your mom              Provide entertainment
To be your maid             Put downs
To make you learn           To do my job
                            To make other people’s decisions
Could you have done worse?
   • SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE:
  1. Ask: Could you have done worse?
     (exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have
     been more aggressive?}
  2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting
     by the behavior you didn’t like in yourself?
     (value=need)
  3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value-
     to not be the person you want to be? (NO!)
  4. Give yourself credit, though it didn’t work out
     the way you wanted it to, it was better than
First Questions?
• What need is not being met and how
  can we meet that need?
• Start with: What do you want? How do
  you want it to look?




• XXXX How can I make this kid do what
  I want? What happened?
Asking Questions
• These are great to teach kids how to ?
• What do you want?

• What are you doing? Saying?

• Is it working?

• Can you figure out a better way?
Weaving


                 Monitor
                                         Manager
              Monitor                      Manager




If you don’t____, I will___               I would rather____
(Give you a consequence. Discomfort)   (Fix it. We both get what we need.)

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Restitution Zen

  • 2. Resources • Slideshare: http://www.slideshare.net/ Restitution Zen • www.realrestitution.com
  • 3. Definition of Restitution 2 • Create the conditions for the person to • Fix their mistakes • Return to the group • STRENGTHENED
  • 4. Teaching Kids to Look Inside 3
  • 7. Why People Behave 6 Avoid Pain Punisher Teacher does Yell & Points If you don’t Teacher says I’ll Rebels & Legacy Blames Students says I don’t care Students Repeated outcome offense
  • 8. Positions of Control 7 Avoid Pain Punisher Guilter Teacher Yell & Preaches & does Points Shoulds Teacher If you don’t You know says I’ll better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Blames LIE Students I don’t care I’m sorry says Students Repeated Low self- outcome offense esteem
  • 9. Positions of Control 8 Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse for them does Points & Shoulds Teacher If you You know Do it for me says don’t I’ll better Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Blames Deny Lie Students I don’t I thought you I’m sorry were my friend says care Students Repeat Low self- Weakness outcome offense esteem
  • 10. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Teacher Yell & Preaches Make excuse Counts & & Shoulds for them measures does Points Teacher If you You know Do it for What’s says don’t I’ll better me the rule Rebels & Hide Legacy Dependency Conformity Blames Deny Lie I thought you Students I don’t How high/ I’m sorry were my how far says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Consequence Weakness outcome offense esteem orientated
  • 11. Positions of Control Avoid Pain Reward from others Respecting Self Punisher Guilter Buddy Monitor Manager Teacher Yell & Preaches & Make excuse Counts & Asks Shoulds for them measures questions does Points Teacher If you Do it for What’s the What do you You know rule? believe? says don’t I’ll me better Rebels & Hide Deny Legacy Dependency Conformity Strengthens Lie Blames I thought you Students I don’t Counts & What can I do I’m sorry were my measures to fix it? says care friend Students Repeat Low self- Conseequence Self Weakness oriented Restitution outcome offense esteem
  • 13. The ANSWERS MONITOR MANAGER Provide minimal choices Provides many choices Outcome known from start Outcome unknown at start Teacher-directed Child-driven States what will happen Asks questions External motivation Internal motivation Teacher-evaluation Self-motivation Teaches external control Teaches self-control Does not help meet child’s 4 basic Helps child meet all four basic needs needs
  • 14. Basic Needs 12 • Food • Shelter • Health • Sleep • Fresh Air • Security
  • 15. Love & Belonging 13 • Caring • Sharing • Joining • Accepting • Friendship • Cooperating Unconditional or Conditional
  • 16. Power and Love 14 • Conditional Love • Unconditional Love
  • 17. Empowerment 15 • Achiever • Success • Do you best • Capable • Leader • Skilled deep or cheap
  • 18. Freedom 16 • Choices • Adventure • Experiment • Independent • Creative • Liberty
  • 19. FUN 17 • Playful • Humor • Pleasure • Enjoyment • Laughter • Excitment • Enthusiasm Clean or Mean??
  • 20. 4 Corners of the room 18 • Where do you stand? Which cup do you need to have most full? • Or are you balance...middle of the room • Can this place change?
  • 22. Fortune 500 20 NOW 1970 TEAMWORK 1 10 Problem solving 2 12 Interpersonal skills 3 13 Oral communication 4 4 Listening 5 5 Personal Developmt. 6 6 Creative Thinking 7 7 Leadership 8 8 Goal Setting 9 9 Writing 10 1 Organizational Effectiveness 11 11 Computation 12 2 Reading 13 3
  • 23. Thank you • Trials, temptations, disappointments-- all these are helps instead of hinderances, if one uses them rightly. They not only test the fiber of character, but strengthen it...Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than before. • James Buckham
  • 24. Restitution Tool Kit • Social Contract/Beliefs (come out of rules) • Restitution Triangle • Quality World • 30 second interventions • Does it really matter? • Yes if... • My Job/Your Job • Could you have done worse? • Asking Questions • WEAVING
  • 25. Social Contract/Beliefs • Creating a social contract in your classroom. • What rules did you have as a child?
  • 26. Restitution Triangle What do we Not for no believe? W reason l ea efu re os ed Social rp i nte Se pu ne Contract rn Keep that is ek all behavior, ior the ym add to it. t he av Person you oti eh want to be. te va lb Could you be RESTITUTION da ted Al have done lie worse? li f Va Stabilize the identity We are doing the best we can Be a good Not interested It’s ok to make Your not the friend to in fault mistakes only one yourself
  • 27. Quality World • Create your quality world. What would be in it?
  • 28. 30 Second Interventions Is what you are doing okay now? What can I do to help you so you can...? When will you be ready to start? What’s your job now? It looks like we have a problem. How can we solve it? Do you want to figure out a better way? How can I help?
  • 29. More 30 Sec. Interventions How would you like to be treated during this activity? Can you do that? Can you change what you Is it okay to make mistakes? are doing now to be helpful? Can we fix it? Are you being the kind of person you want to be ? Would you like to do better? It looks like you have a problem. How can I help?
  • 30. Does it really matter? Goals: To identify areas in which we try to control other people. To select and prioritize the standards which reflect our values. To identify the beliefs behind limitations we want to set on others.
  • 31. YES IF... This activity requires adults to identify and evaluate requests from children to which they normally answer no or “No, because…” The requests are usually simple ones such as “May I sharpen my pencil? The answer my be “No, because I’m talking.” However, a better answer would be one which redirects the child, such as “Yes, when I’m finished giving instructions.”
  • 32. YES IF...continued • Say, YES... as often as possible. • If you can’t say YES, say YES IF... or YES WHEN... • When you say NO, give the child a reason and don’t change your mind.
  • 33. My Job/Your Job My JOB is... Your JOB is... Teach you new things To learn Help you find answers Be prepared to work Have fun Be on time Keep you safe Try your best Respect students Ask questions Evaluate students Make responsible choices Be prepared Solve problems Safe learning environment Self evaluate My JOB is NOT... To give you the answer Your JOB is not... To yell To do nothing To be your mom Provide entertainment To be your maid Put downs To make you learn To do my job To make other people’s decisions
  • 34. Could you have done worse? • SELECT A BEHAVIOR OR A MISTAKE: 1. Ask: Could you have done worse? (exaggerate-eg. If aggressing, could you have been more aggressive?} 2. Ask: What was the value you were protecting by the behavior you didn’t like in yourself? (value=need) 3. Ask: Would it be better to not hold the value- to not be the person you want to be? (NO!) 4. Give yourself credit, though it didn’t work out the way you wanted it to, it was better than
  • 35. First Questions? • What need is not being met and how can we meet that need? • Start with: What do you want? How do you want it to look? • XXXX How can I make this kid do what I want? What happened?
  • 36. Asking Questions • These are great to teach kids how to ? • What do you want? • What are you doing? Saying? • Is it working? • Can you figure out a better way?
  • 37. Weaving Monitor Manager Monitor Manager If you don’t____, I will___ I would rather____ (Give you a consequence. Discomfort) (Fix it. We both get what we need.)

Hinweis der Redaktion