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Technical academic writing in Asia:
    obstacles and interventions

           Lawrie Hunter
      Kochi University of Technology
                  Japan
        http://lawriehunter.com
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Dimensions Island of Shikoku
            of
Media Object Compehensibility

                  KUT
        Lawrie Hunter
        Kochi University of Technology
        http://www.core.kochi-tech.ac.jp/hunter/




                                                   3
Background


   1971~                              1987 Technical rewriter, Techwrite,
   Maths instructor                   Tokyo
   Guidance counsellor                1990~ Freelance academic rewriter,
   Maths teacher trainer              Japan

                                      1996~ Super translation team
   1990~ Assoc. professor, English        Japanese construction ministry
   1993~ Assoc. professor, English,       World Water Forum Kyoto
   intercultural communication            Advertising industry
                                          Major universities


   1996~ founder, KUT
                                      1998~ Referee, CATaC confs
       EFL CALL
                                      1999~ Editorial team, JALTCALL confs
       EFL Critical thinking
                                      2004~ Reviewer, Web Based
       ESP technical writing
                                      Communities, CALL, IJLT, etc.
       EAP for engineers
Hunter
                                                    the style dossier approach
KUT scenario                                                       RATIONALE




 Since 2002: Japanese government scholarships
 for foreign students in technical doctoral programmes.



 !   the foreign students are required to publish
     2+ refereed papers and a dissertation in English

        demand for new technical academic writing courses
Hunter
                                                       the style dossier approach
KUT scenario                                                          RATIONALE




Applicants are screened for academic English knowledge and skill,

BUT
 1. There are no extensions in the 3 year programme
 2. Research topics are highly granular.
 3. Technical RP writing genres are highly granular.

     further L2 acquisition
     to the point of near-independence
     during the study period
     is NOT a realistic strategy.

     Need for a pragmatic approach.
Design Scenario

                 ESP


      EAP      EMed     ELaw      EZ...


TAW         EAP
          HUMANITIES



         Technical Academic Writing
                                          7
Design Scenario
Hayles 2012 cites Hamilton 1991:

Percent of science papers never cited
within 5 years:
                    ____%


Percent of humanities papers never cited
within 5 years:
                    ____%
Design Scenario
Hayles 2012 cites Hamilton 1991:

Percent of science papers never cited
within 5 years:
                    22.4%


Percent of humanities papers never cited
within 5 years:
                    93.1%
The TAW*                                                                     DESIGN
                                                                                           CONSTRAINTS
               CURRICULUM
                                                                                             internal                  external
             duration     focus              trialled
                                                                                                           2 journal
                                                                                    LEARNER                                           3-year,
                                                                                                          publications
                                                                                    PROFILE                                        no extension
                                  yielding 50%          yielding 50%                                       required
 1 year            NON-
                                  autonomous            autonomous
45 hours          grammar
                                     writers               writers
                                                                                 demands                                             necessitates
                                                                                                        necessitates


                                                                               EDITOR /            ENGLI S H S KI LLS                   EAP
                                                                               MENTOR                constrained to                  confined to
                                                                               process             P UB LI S HAB I LI TY                TAW*
                                                                                                         S KI LLS




                                                                         argument
                                                                       construction /                                             information
                                                                          analysis                                                 structures


                                                                           conciseness
                                                                                                                              information
                                                                                                         rhetorical          organizations
                                                                                                         structures
                                                                                   readability
                                                                                                        and devices
           *Technical Academic Writing,
                    L. Hunter.
            Minami no kaze Press 2012                                                                             *Technical Academic Writing
Technical academic writing in Asia:
obstacles and interventions


How does academic writing differ in        EAP
various cultures?

                                       1
                                            cultural
                                           variation
How do we set global standards?
                                       2     global
                                           standards

Is there a problem of English as the
lingua franca of academia?
                                       3      ELF:
                                           problems?
Technical academic writing in Asia:
                                cultural
                               variation

obstacles and interventions


How does academic writing differ in various cultures?

For engineers, not so much.

TAW* is
  1. formulaic
  2. data-centered
  3. graphically scaffolded (equations, graphs, charts)


*TAW = technical academic writing
cultural
                                                variation
Asian culture: perceptions

1. Some Asian cultures (esp. former British
colonies) tend towards more use of rhetorical
devices.

2. Rhetorical devices seen as a mark of erudition
cultural
                                                 variation
Asian culture: perceptions
Confucian cultures

1. Citation:
    a. more frequently
    b. more valued ['good quoting' is a sign of erudition]

2. Acceptance of authority
    -tendency to overclaim others' findings
       in summary/abstraction exercises

3. Admiration of extended sentences
    -difficulty with orchestration of
        own logical structures
cultural
                                               variation
LEARNER CULTURE: production techniques

1. Tendency to over-emphasize generation of text
    from own grammar knowledge

 tendency to undervalue working from language models.

2. Tendency to link everything.
cultural
                            variation




201X Culture
-a recent development
                        1
cultural
                                               variation
201X CULTURE: life in a low-text world

Twitter! SMS! Blogs! Like! Unfriend!

Intensifying problems:

1. Excessive terseness

2. "Optimism" about communication (whatever)

3. Step skipping in persuasion

4. Life is troublesome = can't be bothered
Possible approaches
2. layer view
                                    most TAW
        grammar/surface features    programs
                                    work here

         usage/convention
                                   most TAW
                                   writers start
           document format         writing here
                                   (simulacrum
             argument              of argument)

             supporting claim

                                   RP language
              research
                                   generation
              design/results       should start
                                   here



                                              18
TAW best practice

  Niche language           Writing work
  acquisition to           focusing on
  near-independence        argument and
  in TAW                   info-structures

            Training in
            the use of
                                 Preparation
            language models:
                                 for work with
            Style Dossier
                                 an editor

                      Preparation
                      for work with
                      a mentor
                                                 19
cultural
variation
cultural
            variation




Interventions



                    21
cultural
                                        variation




    Interventions
1. editor as instructor

2. information designer as instructor

3. logician as instructor

4. learner as client


                                                22
cultural
             variation




Intervention 1:
    editor as
   instructor

                     23
cultural
                                                        variation
1. Editor as instructor

a. Tasks: analysis, repair => demonstrate

b. Rewrite tasks to perfection

c. Use checklists of own LF* problems

d. Style dossier


* language features, lexical items crucial to a given
communication move in TAW
Dossier collection tasks
                                             cultural
                                            variation


A. Research writing register (FAE) models

B. Informal discussion register models

C. Glossary
Reframing:
                                                                                               cultural
 client:advisor => user:consultant                                                            variation


                   Language knowledge                     Language skills                 Task modes

                                                                                    Write-edit-rewrite
                                                                                    (uncoded to coded)
             Language structures vs.               Using text structures
             information structures                Summarizing                      Information structure
Technical                                          Data commentary                  mapping
Writing II   Text structures: G-S, P-P-S, ....     Using lexical units to show
                                                   info structures                  Swales & Feak exercises
             Registers                             Editing through a checklist

                                                                                    Dossier collection work

                                                   Language features in RP
             Ambiguity                             sections
                                                   Optimizing readability           Write-edit-rewrite
             Readability (stress position, topic   -subject-verb proximity          (uncoded to coded)
             position)                             -single function for 1 unit of
                                                   discourse
Research                                                                            Readability work
                                                   -emphasis at syntactic closure
 Writing     Rhetorical moves:                     points
             framing, relationships, cohesion                                       Swales & Feak exercises
                                                   Avoiding ambiguity
             RP structure                          Creating, maintaining
                                                   cohesion                         Dossier manipulation
             RP lexical units                      Use, application of register
                                                   knowledge
Reframing:
                                                                                               cultural
 client:advisor => user:consultant                                                            variation


                   Language knowledge                     Language skills                 Task modes

                                                                                    Write-edit-rewrite
                                                                                    (uncoded to coded)
             Language structures vs.               Using text structures
             information structures
                                                                            Claim: when we add dossier
                                                   Summarizing              work, no additional knowledge
                                                                                     Information structure
Technical                                          Data commentary
             Text structures: G-S, P-P-S, ....
                                                                            or skillsmapping
                                                                                      are required
Writing II                                         Using lexical units to show
                                                   info structures                   Swales & Feak exercises
             Registers                             Editing through a checklist

                                                                                    Dossier collection work

                                                   Language features in RP
             Ambiguity                             sections
                                                   Optimizing readability           Write-edit-rewrite
             Readability (stress position, topic   -subject-verb proximity          (uncoded to coded)
             position)                             -single function for 1 unit of
                                                   discourse
Research                                                                            Readability work
                                                   -emphasis at syntactic closure
 Writing     Rhetorical moves:                     points
             framing, relationships, cohesion                                       Swales & Feak exercises
                                                   Avoiding ambiguity
             RP structure                          Creating, maintaining
                                                   cohesion                         Dossier manipulation
             RP lexical units                      Use, application of register
                                                   knowledge
cultural
                                            variation
From the editor/mentor POV:

1. Reviewer comments on language aspects of RPs
are almost always vague.
    a. mostly blanket comments
    b. few examples of problem types.

2. Reviewer feedback does not include
confirmation
of success vis a vis language features.
cultural
                                                variation
From the editor/mentor POV:

1. "Style dossier" vetting of RPs as language models
reveals a number of papers with significant problems
with grammar, register and readability.

2. Journals compete heavily for significant content,
and may overlook English problems when the content
is significant and well data-ed – or when the author is
well-known.

3. As well, multi-author papers are often patchwork.
cultural
Editor POV intervention                      variation




Men must be taught as if you taught them not,
 And things unknown propos'd as things forgot.

Pope, "Essay on Criticism" Pt. III. L. 15.
cultural
             variation




Intervention 2:
  information
  designer as
   instructor
                     31
cultural
                                                      variation
2. Information designer as instructor

a. teach pattern recognition / metalanguage
    (naive, e.g. "looking at" marked parallel text)

b. coded feedback on tasks

c. non-linguistic approach to structure related LFs

d. Novakian concept mapping (relations highlighted)

e. Style dossier as essential, central
INFAE                                            FAE
                                                                              cultural
                                                                             variation
Artemether is one of the most effective as instructor is one of the most effective
   2.in the artemisinin group most
      Information designer                   Artemether
drugs                                        drugs in the artemisinin group most
commonly used in malaria cocktail s, known commonly used in malaria cocktails known
as ACTs.
   a. teach pattern recognition / as ACTs.    metalanguage
        (naive, e.g. "looking at"
“In most cases, if resistance is observed in   marked parallel tube usually leads to
                                                “Resistance in a test text)
laboratory studies, resistance in patients       resistance at some stage down the line in
will eventually be observed ,” study leader      patients,” study leader Sanjeev Krishna
Sanjeev Krishna told AFP of the findings         told AFP of the findings published in
published in BioMed Central publishers’          BioMed Central publishers’ Malaria
Malaria Journal.                                 Journal.

“The question is how soon resistance will
occur.”                                          “The question is how far down the line.”

The study did not examine the patients’          The study did not look at the patients’
response to drugs, and the implications          actual response to drugs, and “what that
regarding treatment failure have not yet         might mean in terms of treatment failure,
been investigated. That is an urgent topic       we have yet to assess. We don’t know.”
for further study.
                                                 A statement said the resistance was caused
The data suggest that the resistance was         by genetic mutations in a parasite
cultural
                                                                                      variation
2. Information designer as instructor
                              CODED FEEDBACK mentor feedback marks:

b. coded feedback on tasks     agr
                               awk
                                         mistake with subject-verb agreement
                                         A phrase or sentence is awkward (awkward = not smooth)
                               cas       This language is casual, not formal.
                               comb      Combine sentences.
                               conj      This is a conjunction (don’t start a sentence with it).
                               gr        grammar mistake
                               non-std   this phrasing is not standard
                               par       mistake with parallel structure
                                         redundant (some information has been repeated,
                               red
                                          e.g. The temperature was also recorded as well.
                                         pronoun reference problem (what is the reference? is it correct
                               ref       form?)
                               rep       repetitive
                               rephr     Rephrase this.
                               run-on    This is a run-on sentence; it's too long to be readable.
                               sp        spelling mistake
                               S-V       The subject and verb in a sentence do not agr ee in some way.
                                         You have used the wrong verb tense (past/present/future)
                               tense
                                         e.g. Yesterday I am going to Tokushima.
                               vag       This phrasing is vague or ambiguous.
                                         Change from the passive voice to active voice, or vice versa.
                               voice     e.g. The ball was hit by the batter. ('voice' means change to
                                         “The batter hit the ball.”)
                               windy     This writing is run-on, it could and should be much shorter.

                               word      Find a better word for your meaning.

                                         Add something here (often an article).

                                verb     Add a verb here.
cultural
                                                                    variation
LEARNER CULTURE: production techniques

Rhetorical conflation

    1. Logical narrative
        ... in order to prove...
        ... compared....

    2. Reseach Paper narrative (formulaic, surface marked)

    3. Claim narrative (argument)
[The above 3 forms are not differentiated in the learners' experience.]
cultural
                                                     variation
Editor POV

-antidote to rhetorical conflation

Teach discourse analysis as information analysis.

-learning to produce a language is largely a matter of
actively hearing it*. This calls for appealing, attractive,
"cool" input. Be shameless!



*and not analyzing it
cultural
                                              variation




               Core content   Background   Persuasion

Rhetorical
structure

Information
organization

Information
structures

                                               lawrie hunter
cultural
                               variation




Core content   Background   Persuasion




                                lawrie hunter
cultural
               variation




Rhetorical
structure

Information
organization

Information
structures
                lawrie hunter
cultural
                                                    variation




                                              Background
                            Central message
                                              information

     Argument layer         Target content      discard

Knowledge structure layer       avoid           discard




                                                            40
cultural
                                                        variation




Structure     Node content                 Link type


 Argument                              Rhetorical relations
             Independent clauses
 structure                               (e.g. argument)

Knowledge          Nouns           Attribute, compare, classify,
 structure      Noun phrases          sequence, cause-effect




                                                                   41
cultural
             variation




Intervention 3:
  logician as
   instructor

                     42
cultural
                                               variation
3. logician as instructor

a. macro view:
   -argument
   -rhetorical devices
   -logic links

b. micro view:
   -language features impacting on TAW moves
   -conventions
cultural
                                               variation
Learner culture: "whatever"

Tendency when reading to ignore markers of
   info-organization,
   info-structures,
   rhetorical devices

  -results in misuse of markers when writing
From the editor/mentor POV:

Learners tend to miss steps in argument chains.

E.g. "Ms. Walter's neighbor heard her smoke
alarm sounding. He knocked on the door, but
there was no answer. He called the police and the
fire department. The police arrived first, and they
knocked the door down."

Why did the police knock the door down?

   -common: incomplete chains of argument
cultural
                                                     variation
From the editor/mentor POV:

Teach pattern recognition:

   e.g. find all the logic links in this abstract

   e.g. find all the sentences without logic links
cultural
                                              variation
From the editor/mentor POV:

In informal learner writing about own research:
general-to-specific takes the form:




This reflects:

   a. the template nature of the TAW RP
   b. that the RP format is a metaphor for argument
cultural
                                                variation
From the editor/mentor POV:

Impact: this results in conference presentation structure:




      -which is argument-wise a failure in a paper:

   But what would be better?

   Toulmin => modified Toulmin => Cmap discourse
cultural
             variation




Intervention 4:
  learner as
     client

                     49
cultural
                                                  variation
4. learner as client

a. Writing center:

   DO edit student writing
     -but with coded feedback
     -clients must know curriculum

b. WC emphasis on learning
      -only edit small chunks, to perfection
      -learning in chunk x applied to chunk x+1
cultural
                        variation




201X Culture
-a recent development
cultural
                                               variation
201X CULTURE: life in a low-text world

Twitter! SMS! Blogs! Like! Unfriend!

Intensifying problems:

1. Excessive terseness

2. "Optimism" about communication (whatever)

3. Step skipping in persuasion

4. Life is troublesome = can't be bothered
cultural
                                            variation
LEARNER CULTURE: self-perception

View of self as static vis a vis language

View of self as externally manipulated
Editor POV: self-perception
    Class orientation handout



SSP students have three years to publish two academic research papers and write a PhD
  dissertation. (Please note that a paper and a dissertation require different kinds of
  writing.)
There are several strategies for EAP students to produce acceptable research papers:

1. Become a very good writer of academic English and write your own very good papers
   without help.
2. Become a pretty good writer of academic English, and get a native speaker to check
   your grammar.
3. Become a better, but still weak writer of academic English, and get a native speaker to
   do a complete rewrite for you.
4. Do not learn to write academic English well, and find a native speaker to 'ghost-write'
   your paper for you.
5. Steal parts of other researchers' papers and combine them to make your own paper.

Which strategies will work for you?
Editor POV: self-perception
  Self-assess strategy tool

           Entry                   Setting           Final user success


                                                      Independent writer
     Strong enough
   grammar knowledge                               Model-using independent
   and composition skill                                    writer
                               time constraints
         Some                                      Model-using aided writer
   grammar knowledge          latent development
   and composition skill
                                                     Heavily aided writer
                                  minor/no
       Insufficient             development
                                                   Ongoing mentored writer
   grammar knowledge
   and composition skill
                                                     Ghost-written writer
Editor POV: self-perception
                                                               Entry                 Settin g              Final user success

1. In this kind of work, first the 'user' must know   Strong enough                                    Independent writer
                                                      grammar knowledge and
              -the tools and objects involved         composition skill                                Model-using independent
              -how to talk about them.                                           time constraints
                                                                                                       writer
                                                      Some
                                                      grammar knowledge and                            Model-using aided writer
                                                                               latent development
                                                      composition skill
                                                                                                       Heavily aided writer
2. Second, time and again                             Insufficient
                                                                              minor/no developme n t
the user must articulate anew his/her course          grammar knowledge and                            Ongoing mentored writer
                                                      composition skill
through the strategy network                                                                           Ghost-written writer
from entry to final user success.


3. This ongoing rearticulation consists of
      -self observation of success and time constraints
      -calculation of learning objective achievement probability*.


4. Native rewriter resource availability/affordability are also key factors in deciding
      strategy.



            *Not everyone will learn to write 'from scratch' well
            and even those who could learn to do so
            may not have sufficient short-term (or even long-term) time.
cultural
                                                  variation
Editor POV: self assessment
   Degree of mastery

   1. awareness of a language feature (LF)
   2. articulate awareness of a LF
       (can define, give example, identify)
   3. evaluative awareness
       (can identify LF problems;
        can assess LF correctness)
   4. editorial
       (can repair/refine LF instances)
       (can apply to problem solving where LF not present)

[Forms 1~4 are not differentiated in learners' experience.]
cultural
                                             variation
Learner culture: self-management

I can't!
Tendency to accept that independent successful
writing performance is personally impossible.

Deadline: tomorrow!
Tendency to underestimate writing process time.

Hope for the best!
Tendency to finally 'just send' the paper.
Self-managment scenario: learner as client
How do we set global standards?             EAP
In TAW the standards are already there,
but they are not linguistic standards. 1
                                             cultural
                                            variation


                                        2     global
                                            standards

TAW standards hinge on quality of
findings and accessibility of argument.
                                        3      ELF:
                                            problems?
Is there a problem of English as the       EAP
lingua franca of academia?

                                       1
                                            cultural
                                           variation


                                       2     global
                                           standards


                                       3      ELF:
                                           problems?
ELF:
                                           cultural
ELF: a problem that will go away?        problems?
                                          variation




• McKnight history of RP
• Robot scientist: future of RP / argument
• Kowalski: computational linguistics as future
  of argument BY HUMANS
• Hayles' technogenesis and the evolution from
  content orientation to problem orientation.
Daunting: robot scientist:
ontology-based readability
Work on ontology-based research writing * :
reforming how scientific research is written/read.

“Use of Natural Language is a great hindrance
when using computers to store and analyse data
hence the growing importance of text-mining.
We argue that the content of scientific papers
should increasingly be expressed in formal languages.
Is writing a scientific paper closer to
writing poetry or a computer program?”


    EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova
    http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf                    63
Daunting:
ontology-based readability




  EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova
  http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf                    64
Daunting:
ontology-based readability
EXPO* and the Robot Scientist




   EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova
   http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf                    65
Daunting:
ontology-based readability
EXPO* and the Robot Scientist

Work on ontology-based research writing * :
reforming how scientific research is written/read.

Can humans now experience knowledge differently,
thanks to machine interface work,
i.e. through a formal language imposed for the machine’s sake?

Will this reform how we read? how we think?

What about LOT, the language of thought?


    EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova
    http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf                    66
Register          Dossier                    FAE

     Cohesion        Coherence                  Usage

Nominalization       Conjunctions           Abstract

  Hedging           Logic links
                                            Summary
                       Claim
    Plagiarism                                  Citation

                         Argument          Communication
   Paraphrasing
                                              moves

                                  Readability
                 Argument
                                            Parallelism
References
•   Cañas, A. J., & Novak, J.D. (2006) Re-examining the foundations for effective use of
    concept maps. In Cañas, A. J., & Novak, J.D. (Eds.), Concept Maps: Theory,
    Methodology, Technology. Proceedings of the Second International Conference on
    Concept Mapping.
•   Hunter, L. (2009) A Decision Matrix for the Use of Mapping and Mapping Software.
    Presented at EuroCALL 2009. http://www.lawriehunter.com/presns/eurocall09/
•   Graphical texts: http://thisisindexed.com/ http://graphjam.memebase.com/
•   Animated data: http://www.gapminder.org/

•   Atkinson, D. (1999) Scientific discourse in sociohistorical context. Routledge.
References
Breeze, R. (2012) Rethinking academic writing pedagogy for the European university.
Amsterdam: Rodopi.
Glasman-Deal, H. (2010) Science Research Writing. Imperial College Press.
Gopen, G.D. and Swan, J.A. (1990) The science of scientific writing. American scientist
(Nov-Dec 1990), Volume 78, 550-558. Downloadable as a pdf from
http://www.amstat.org/publications/jcgs/sci.pdf
Hayles, N. Katherine. (2012) How we think: digital media and contemporary
technogenesis. University of Chicago Press.
Hinkel, E. (2004) Teaching academic ESL writing: Practical techniques in vocabulary
and grammar. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Hunter, L. (2009) How academic writing works. 2nd edition. Kochi University of
Technology Press.
Kowalski, R. (2011) Computational logic and human thinking. Cambridge UP.
Suzuki, T. (1978) Words in context. Tokyo: Kodansha International.
Swales, C. and Feak, C. (2004) Academic writing for graduate students 2nd edition.
University of Michigan Press.
Tifi, A.. (2010) The long way to deep understanding. Proc. of Fourth Int. Conference on
Concept Mapping. J.Sánchez, A.J.Cañas, J.D.Novak, Eds.
Toulmin, S. (1958) The Uses of Argument, Cambridge University Press.
Sources

 Banerjee, D. and Wall, D. (2006) Assessing and reporting performances on pre-sessional EAP
       courses: Developing a final assessment checklist and investigating its validity. Journal of
       English for academic purposes 5(2006) 50-69.
 Ferris, D. (2002) Treatment of error in second language student writing. University of Michigan
       Press.
 Ginther, A. and Grant, L. (1996) A review of the academic needs of native English-speaking college
       students in the United States. Research monograph series MS-1. Princeton, NJ: Educational
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 Gopen, G.D. & Swan, J.A. (1990) The Science of Scientific Writing. American Scientist 78 550-558.
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 Harwood, N. (2006) What do we want EAP teaching materials for? Journal of English for Academic
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 Hunter, L. Online resource for English for Academic Purposes:
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 Koutsantoni, D. (2006) Rhetorical strategies in engineering research articles and research theses:
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References
Manovich, L. (2001) The Language of New Media. The MIT Press.
Manovich, L. Blog. http://manovich.net/

Research via ontologies

Ian Horrocks http://web.comlab.ox.ac.uk/people/ian.horrocks/
EXPO Ontology of scientific experiments http://expo.sourceforge.net/
Soldatova L.N., Clare A., Sparkes A. and King, R.D. (2006) An ontology for a Robot Scientist. Bioinformatics
    (Special issue ISMB) (in press). http://users.aber.ac.uk/lss/Soldatova.pdf
Soldatova, LN & King, RD. (2006) An Ontology of Scientific Experiments. Journal of the Royal Society Interface (in
    press)
http://users.aber.ac.uk/lss/Inteface.pdf
EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research by Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova, Department of Computer
    Science, University of Wales, Aberystwyth. http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf

Text approaches
Hunter L. (2005) Technical Hypertext Accessibility: Information Structures and Rhetorical Framing. Presentation at
    HyperText 2005, Salzburg. http://www.lawriehunter.com/presns/%20HT05poster0818.htm
Text Nouveau: Visible Structure in Text Presentation. Computer Assisted Language Learning 11(4) pp. 363-379.
    (text nouveau)
WordbyWord http://www.core.kochi-tech.ac.jp/hunter/WordByWord/index.html (text nouveau)
Ueta, R, Hunter, L. & Ren, X. Text usability for non-native readers of English. Proceedings, Information Processing
    Society of Japan, Vol. 2003.7. Pp. 199-200. (phrase boundary marking)
                                                                                                                     71
References
Alexander Christopher A pattern language.
Brown, P. J. and Brown, H. (2004) Integrating Reading and Writing of Documents. Journal of Digital Information,
Volume 5 Issue 1 Article No. 237, 2004-02-03. http://journals.tdl.org/jodi/article/view/72/118
Brown, P. J. and Brown, H. (2003) Annotation: a step towards the read/write document.
http://www.dcs.ex.ac.uk/~pjbrown/annotation/ht03.ps
Brown, P. J. and Brown, H. (2005) Electronically Integrating the Reading and Writing of Documents: an
Unexploited Aid to Education. http://www.dcs.ex.ac.uk/~pjbrown/annotation/lugano_master.html
John Seely Brown & Paul Duguid (1992) Stolen knowledge. Educational Technology Publications
http://www2.parc.com/ops/members/brown/papers/stolenknow.html
Carter, L.M. (2000) Arguments in Hypertext: A Rhetorical Approach. HyperText 2000. p. 85-02.
Grow, G. (1994) The Writing Problems of Visual Thinkers. Visible Language, 28.2, Spring 1994, pp. 134 - 161.
Kolb, D. (1998) Ruminations in Mixed Company: Literacy in Print and Hypertext Together. Outline notes of a talk
for KMI at the Open University, July 1998.
Kolb, D. Socrates in the Labyrinth: Hypertext, Argument, Philosophy. Eastgate Systems.
Lave, J. Situated Learning
Pattern Languages web site. http://www.patternlanguage.com
Sadoski, M. & Paivio, M. (2001) Imagery and text. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Thackara, J. (2005) In the Bubble: designing in a complex world. MIT Press.
Tosca, S.P. (2000) A Pragmatics of Links Journal of Digital Information, Volume 1 Issue 6 Article No. 22, 2000-06-
27




                                                                                                                     72
References
A graphical heuristic for argument in second language technical academic writing

Allwright, D. (2004) Where theory comes from, and what can happen to it: ‘bana’ influence via postgraduate
courses in applied linguistics. GISIG Newsletter 16, November 2004.
Chambers, A. (2007) Language learning as discourse analysis: Implications for the LSP learning environment »,
ASp [En ligne], 51-52 | 2007, mis en ligne le 01 décembre 2010, consulté le 09 janvier
Novak, J. D. (1990). Concept maps and Vee diagrams: Two metacognitive tools for science and mathematics
education. Instructional Science 19, 29-52.
Tifi, A. (2010) The long way to deep understanding. In Concept maps: Making learning meaningful. Proc. of 4th
Int. Conference on Concept Mapping.
2011. URL: http://asp.revues.org/483




                                                                                                                73
References
Chun, D. M. and Plass, J. L. 1997. Research on text comprehension in multimedia environments. Language
learning and technology 1(1): 60-81.
Elsayed, A. (2007) Machine-mediated communication: the technology. 6th IEEE International Conference on
Advanced Learning Technologies, ICALT 2006, 5-7 July 2006, Kerkrade, The Netherlands.
Goldman, S.R., & Rakestraw, J.A. (2000). Structural aspects of constructing meaning from text. In M.L. Kamil, P. B.
Mosenthal, P. D. Pearson, & R. Barr (Eds.), Handbook of reading research (Vol. II, pp. 311-335). Mahwah, NJ:
Erlbaum.
Grow, G. (1996) Serving the strategic reader: cognitive reading theoryand its implications for the teaching of
writing. Viewed June 30, 2007 at http://www.longleaf.net/ggrow/StrategicReader/index.html
Hunter, L. (2005) Technical hypertext accessibility: information structures and rhetorical framing. Proceedings of
the sixteenth ACM conference on Hypertext and hypermedia, Salzburg, Austria.
Kalyuga, S. (2006) Instructing and testing advanced learners: A cognitive approach. Nova Science Publishers.
Mann, B. (1999) An introduction to rhetorical structure theory (RST).
       http://www.sil.org/mannb/rst/rintro99.htm
Mohan, B.A.M. (1986) Language and content. Reading, MASS: Addison-Wesley.
Nass, C. and S. Brave. (2005) Wired for speech: How voice activates and advances the human-computer
relationship. MIT Press.
Plain English movement http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/index.htm (de-idiomatizing)




                                                                                                                      74

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Academic writing: cultural obstacles and interventions

  • 1. Technical academic writing in Asia: obstacles and interventions Lawrie Hunter Kochi University of Technology Japan http://lawriehunter.com
  • 2. No need to take notes :^o You can download this powerpoint (and many more) from http://www.core.kochi-tech.ac.jp/hunter/ or lawriehunter.com or slideshare.net/rolenzo
  • 3. Dimensions Island of Shikoku of Media Object Compehensibility KUT Lawrie Hunter Kochi University of Technology http://www.core.kochi-tech.ac.jp/hunter/ 3
  • 4. Background 1971~ 1987 Technical rewriter, Techwrite, Maths instructor Tokyo Guidance counsellor 1990~ Freelance academic rewriter, Maths teacher trainer Japan 1996~ Super translation team 1990~ Assoc. professor, English Japanese construction ministry 1993~ Assoc. professor, English, World Water Forum Kyoto intercultural communication Advertising industry Major universities 1996~ founder, KUT 1998~ Referee, CATaC confs EFL CALL 1999~ Editorial team, JALTCALL confs EFL Critical thinking 2004~ Reviewer, Web Based ESP technical writing Communities, CALL, IJLT, etc. EAP for engineers
  • 5. Hunter the style dossier approach KUT scenario RATIONALE Since 2002: Japanese government scholarships for foreign students in technical doctoral programmes. ! the foreign students are required to publish 2+ refereed papers and a dissertation in English demand for new technical academic writing courses
  • 6. Hunter the style dossier approach KUT scenario RATIONALE Applicants are screened for academic English knowledge and skill, BUT 1. There are no extensions in the 3 year programme 2. Research topics are highly granular. 3. Technical RP writing genres are highly granular. further L2 acquisition to the point of near-independence during the study period is NOT a realistic strategy. Need for a pragmatic approach.
  • 7. Design Scenario ESP EAP EMed ELaw EZ... TAW EAP HUMANITIES Technical Academic Writing 7
  • 8. Design Scenario Hayles 2012 cites Hamilton 1991: Percent of science papers never cited within 5 years: ____% Percent of humanities papers never cited within 5 years: ____%
  • 9. Design Scenario Hayles 2012 cites Hamilton 1991: Percent of science papers never cited within 5 years: 22.4% Percent of humanities papers never cited within 5 years: 93.1%
  • 10. The TAW* DESIGN CONSTRAINTS CURRICULUM internal external duration focus trialled 2 journal LEARNER 3-year, publications PROFILE no extension yielding 50% yielding 50% required 1 year NON- autonomous autonomous 45 hours grammar writers writers demands necessitates necessitates EDITOR / ENGLI S H S KI LLS EAP MENTOR constrained to confined to process P UB LI S HAB I LI TY TAW* S KI LLS argument construction / information analysis structures conciseness information rhetorical organizations structures readability and devices *Technical Academic Writing, L. Hunter. Minami no kaze Press 2012 *Technical Academic Writing
  • 11. Technical academic writing in Asia: obstacles and interventions How does academic writing differ in EAP various cultures? 1 cultural variation How do we set global standards? 2 global standards Is there a problem of English as the lingua franca of academia? 3 ELF: problems?
  • 12. Technical academic writing in Asia: cultural variation obstacles and interventions How does academic writing differ in various cultures? For engineers, not so much. TAW* is 1. formulaic 2. data-centered 3. graphically scaffolded (equations, graphs, charts) *TAW = technical academic writing
  • 13. cultural variation Asian culture: perceptions 1. Some Asian cultures (esp. former British colonies) tend towards more use of rhetorical devices. 2. Rhetorical devices seen as a mark of erudition
  • 14. cultural variation Asian culture: perceptions Confucian cultures 1. Citation: a. more frequently b. more valued ['good quoting' is a sign of erudition] 2. Acceptance of authority -tendency to overclaim others' findings in summary/abstraction exercises 3. Admiration of extended sentences -difficulty with orchestration of own logical structures
  • 15. cultural variation LEARNER CULTURE: production techniques 1. Tendency to over-emphasize generation of text from own grammar knowledge  tendency to undervalue working from language models. 2. Tendency to link everything.
  • 16. cultural variation 201X Culture -a recent development 1
  • 17. cultural variation 201X CULTURE: life in a low-text world Twitter! SMS! Blogs! Like! Unfriend! Intensifying problems: 1. Excessive terseness 2. "Optimism" about communication (whatever) 3. Step skipping in persuasion 4. Life is troublesome = can't be bothered
  • 18. Possible approaches 2. layer view most TAW grammar/surface features programs work here usage/convention most TAW writers start document format writing here (simulacrum argument of argument) supporting claim RP language research generation design/results should start here 18
  • 19. TAW best practice Niche language Writing work acquisition to focusing on near-independence argument and in TAW info-structures Training in the use of Preparation language models: for work with Style Dossier an editor Preparation for work with a mentor 19
  • 21. cultural variation Interventions 21
  • 22. cultural variation Interventions 1. editor as instructor 2. information designer as instructor 3. logician as instructor 4. learner as client 22
  • 23. cultural variation Intervention 1: editor as instructor 23
  • 24. cultural variation 1. Editor as instructor a. Tasks: analysis, repair => demonstrate b. Rewrite tasks to perfection c. Use checklists of own LF* problems d. Style dossier * language features, lexical items crucial to a given communication move in TAW
  • 25. Dossier collection tasks cultural variation A. Research writing register (FAE) models B. Informal discussion register models C. Glossary
  • 26. Reframing: cultural client:advisor => user:consultant variation Language knowledge Language skills Task modes Write-edit-rewrite (uncoded to coded) Language structures vs. Using text structures information structures Summarizing Information structure Technical Data commentary mapping Writing II Text structures: G-S, P-P-S, .... Using lexical units to show info structures Swales & Feak exercises Registers Editing through a checklist Dossier collection work Language features in RP Ambiguity sections Optimizing readability Write-edit-rewrite Readability (stress position, topic -subject-verb proximity (uncoded to coded) position) -single function for 1 unit of discourse Research Readability work -emphasis at syntactic closure Writing Rhetorical moves: points framing, relationships, cohesion Swales & Feak exercises Avoiding ambiguity RP structure Creating, maintaining cohesion Dossier manipulation RP lexical units Use, application of register knowledge
  • 27. Reframing: cultural client:advisor => user:consultant variation Language knowledge Language skills Task modes Write-edit-rewrite (uncoded to coded) Language structures vs. Using text structures information structures Claim: when we add dossier Summarizing work, no additional knowledge Information structure Technical Data commentary Text structures: G-S, P-P-S, .... or skillsmapping are required Writing II Using lexical units to show info structures Swales & Feak exercises Registers Editing through a checklist Dossier collection work Language features in RP Ambiguity sections Optimizing readability Write-edit-rewrite Readability (stress position, topic -subject-verb proximity (uncoded to coded) position) -single function for 1 unit of discourse Research Readability work -emphasis at syntactic closure Writing Rhetorical moves: points framing, relationships, cohesion Swales & Feak exercises Avoiding ambiguity RP structure Creating, maintaining cohesion Dossier manipulation RP lexical units Use, application of register knowledge
  • 28. cultural variation From the editor/mentor POV: 1. Reviewer comments on language aspects of RPs are almost always vague. a. mostly blanket comments b. few examples of problem types. 2. Reviewer feedback does not include confirmation of success vis a vis language features.
  • 29. cultural variation From the editor/mentor POV: 1. "Style dossier" vetting of RPs as language models reveals a number of papers with significant problems with grammar, register and readability. 2. Journals compete heavily for significant content, and may overlook English problems when the content is significant and well data-ed – or when the author is well-known. 3. As well, multi-author papers are often patchwork.
  • 30. cultural Editor POV intervention variation Men must be taught as if you taught them not, And things unknown propos'd as things forgot. Pope, "Essay on Criticism" Pt. III. L. 15.
  • 31. cultural variation Intervention 2: information designer as instructor 31
  • 32. cultural variation 2. Information designer as instructor a. teach pattern recognition / metalanguage (naive, e.g. "looking at" marked parallel text) b. coded feedback on tasks c. non-linguistic approach to structure related LFs d. Novakian concept mapping (relations highlighted) e. Style dossier as essential, central
  • 33. INFAE FAE cultural variation Artemether is one of the most effective as instructor is one of the most effective 2.in the artemisinin group most Information designer Artemether drugs drugs in the artemisinin group most commonly used in malaria cocktail s, known commonly used in malaria cocktails known as ACTs. a. teach pattern recognition / as ACTs. metalanguage (naive, e.g. "looking at" “In most cases, if resistance is observed in marked parallel tube usually leads to “Resistance in a test text) laboratory studies, resistance in patients resistance at some stage down the line in will eventually be observed ,” study leader patients,” study leader Sanjeev Krishna Sanjeev Krishna told AFP of the findings told AFP of the findings published in published in BioMed Central publishers’ BioMed Central publishers’ Malaria Malaria Journal. Journal. “The question is how soon resistance will occur.” “The question is how far down the line.” The study did not examine the patients’ The study did not look at the patients’ response to drugs, and the implications actual response to drugs, and “what that regarding treatment failure have not yet might mean in terms of treatment failure, been investigated. That is an urgent topic we have yet to assess. We don’t know.” for further study. A statement said the resistance was caused The data suggest that the resistance was by genetic mutations in a parasite
  • 34. cultural variation 2. Information designer as instructor CODED FEEDBACK mentor feedback marks: b. coded feedback on tasks agr awk mistake with subject-verb agreement A phrase or sentence is awkward (awkward = not smooth) cas This language is casual, not formal. comb Combine sentences. conj This is a conjunction (don’t start a sentence with it). gr grammar mistake non-std this phrasing is not standard par mistake with parallel structure redundant (some information has been repeated, red e.g. The temperature was also recorded as well. pronoun reference problem (what is the reference? is it correct ref form?) rep repetitive rephr Rephrase this. run-on This is a run-on sentence; it's too long to be readable. sp spelling mistake S-V The subject and verb in a sentence do not agr ee in some way. You have used the wrong verb tense (past/present/future) tense e.g. Yesterday I am going to Tokushima. vag This phrasing is vague or ambiguous. Change from the passive voice to active voice, or vice versa. voice e.g. The ball was hit by the batter. ('voice' means change to “The batter hit the ball.”) windy This writing is run-on, it could and should be much shorter. word Find a better word for your meaning. Add something here (often an article). verb Add a verb here.
  • 35. cultural variation LEARNER CULTURE: production techniques Rhetorical conflation 1. Logical narrative ... in order to prove... ... compared.... 2. Reseach Paper narrative (formulaic, surface marked) 3. Claim narrative (argument) [The above 3 forms are not differentiated in the learners' experience.]
  • 36. cultural variation Editor POV -antidote to rhetorical conflation Teach discourse analysis as information analysis. -learning to produce a language is largely a matter of actively hearing it*. This calls for appealing, attractive, "cool" input. Be shameless! *and not analyzing it
  • 37. cultural variation Core content Background Persuasion Rhetorical structure Information organization Information structures lawrie hunter
  • 38. cultural variation Core content Background Persuasion lawrie hunter
  • 39. cultural variation Rhetorical structure Information organization Information structures lawrie hunter
  • 40. cultural variation Background Central message information Argument layer Target content discard Knowledge structure layer avoid discard 40
  • 41. cultural variation Structure Node content Link type Argument Rhetorical relations Independent clauses structure (e.g. argument) Knowledge Nouns Attribute, compare, classify, structure Noun phrases sequence, cause-effect 41
  • 42. cultural variation Intervention 3: logician as instructor 42
  • 43. cultural variation 3. logician as instructor a. macro view: -argument -rhetorical devices -logic links b. micro view: -language features impacting on TAW moves -conventions
  • 44. cultural variation Learner culture: "whatever" Tendency when reading to ignore markers of info-organization, info-structures, rhetorical devices -results in misuse of markers when writing
  • 45. From the editor/mentor POV: Learners tend to miss steps in argument chains. E.g. "Ms. Walter's neighbor heard her smoke alarm sounding. He knocked on the door, but there was no answer. He called the police and the fire department. The police arrived first, and they knocked the door down." Why did the police knock the door down? -common: incomplete chains of argument
  • 46. cultural variation From the editor/mentor POV: Teach pattern recognition: e.g. find all the logic links in this abstract e.g. find all the sentences without logic links
  • 47. cultural variation From the editor/mentor POV: In informal learner writing about own research: general-to-specific takes the form: This reflects: a. the template nature of the TAW RP b. that the RP format is a metaphor for argument
  • 48. cultural variation From the editor/mentor POV: Impact: this results in conference presentation structure: -which is argument-wise a failure in a paper: But what would be better? Toulmin => modified Toulmin => Cmap discourse
  • 49. cultural variation Intervention 4: learner as client 49
  • 50. cultural variation 4. learner as client a. Writing center: DO edit student writing -but with coded feedback -clients must know curriculum b. WC emphasis on learning -only edit small chunks, to perfection -learning in chunk x applied to chunk x+1
  • 51. cultural variation 201X Culture -a recent development
  • 52. cultural variation 201X CULTURE: life in a low-text world Twitter! SMS! Blogs! Like! Unfriend! Intensifying problems: 1. Excessive terseness 2. "Optimism" about communication (whatever) 3. Step skipping in persuasion 4. Life is troublesome = can't be bothered
  • 53. cultural variation LEARNER CULTURE: self-perception View of self as static vis a vis language View of self as externally manipulated
  • 54. Editor POV: self-perception Class orientation handout SSP students have three years to publish two academic research papers and write a PhD dissertation. (Please note that a paper and a dissertation require different kinds of writing.) There are several strategies for EAP students to produce acceptable research papers: 1. Become a very good writer of academic English and write your own very good papers without help. 2. Become a pretty good writer of academic English, and get a native speaker to check your grammar. 3. Become a better, but still weak writer of academic English, and get a native speaker to do a complete rewrite for you. 4. Do not learn to write academic English well, and find a native speaker to 'ghost-write' your paper for you. 5. Steal parts of other researchers' papers and combine them to make your own paper. Which strategies will work for you?
  • 55. Editor POV: self-perception Self-assess strategy tool Entry Setting Final user success Independent writer Strong enough grammar knowledge Model-using independent and composition skill writer time constraints Some Model-using aided writer grammar knowledge latent development and composition skill Heavily aided writer minor/no Insufficient development Ongoing mentored writer grammar knowledge and composition skill Ghost-written writer
  • 56. Editor POV: self-perception Entry Settin g Final user success 1. In this kind of work, first the 'user' must know Strong enough Independent writer grammar knowledge and -the tools and objects involved composition skill Model-using independent -how to talk about them. time constraints writer Some grammar knowledge and Model-using aided writer latent development composition skill Heavily aided writer 2. Second, time and again Insufficient minor/no developme n t the user must articulate anew his/her course grammar knowledge and Ongoing mentored writer composition skill through the strategy network Ghost-written writer from entry to final user success. 3. This ongoing rearticulation consists of -self observation of success and time constraints -calculation of learning objective achievement probability*. 4. Native rewriter resource availability/affordability are also key factors in deciding strategy. *Not everyone will learn to write 'from scratch' well and even those who could learn to do so may not have sufficient short-term (or even long-term) time.
  • 57. cultural variation Editor POV: self assessment Degree of mastery 1. awareness of a language feature (LF) 2. articulate awareness of a LF (can define, give example, identify) 3. evaluative awareness (can identify LF problems; can assess LF correctness) 4. editorial (can repair/refine LF instances) (can apply to problem solving where LF not present) [Forms 1~4 are not differentiated in learners' experience.]
  • 58. cultural variation Learner culture: self-management I can't! Tendency to accept that independent successful writing performance is personally impossible. Deadline: tomorrow! Tendency to underestimate writing process time. Hope for the best! Tendency to finally 'just send' the paper.
  • 60. How do we set global standards? EAP In TAW the standards are already there, but they are not linguistic standards. 1 cultural variation 2 global standards TAW standards hinge on quality of findings and accessibility of argument. 3 ELF: problems?
  • 61. Is there a problem of English as the EAP lingua franca of academia? 1 cultural variation 2 global standards 3 ELF: problems?
  • 62. ELF: cultural ELF: a problem that will go away? problems? variation • McKnight history of RP • Robot scientist: future of RP / argument • Kowalski: computational linguistics as future of argument BY HUMANS • Hayles' technogenesis and the evolution from content orientation to problem orientation.
  • 63. Daunting: robot scientist: ontology-based readability Work on ontology-based research writing * : reforming how scientific research is written/read. “Use of Natural Language is a great hindrance when using computers to store and analyse data hence the growing importance of text-mining. We argue that the content of scientific papers should increasingly be expressed in formal languages. Is writing a scientific paper closer to writing poetry or a computer program?” EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf 63
  • 64. Daunting: ontology-based readability EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf 64
  • 65. Daunting: ontology-based readability EXPO* and the Robot Scientist EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf 65
  • 66. Daunting: ontology-based readability EXPO* and the Robot Scientist Work on ontology-based research writing * : reforming how scientific research is written/read. Can humans now experience knowledge differently, thanks to machine interface work, i.e. through a formal language imposed for the machine’s sake? Will this reform how we read? how we think? What about LOT, the language of thought? EXPO: An Ontology of Scientific Research. Ross D. King & Larisa N. Soldatova http://www-tsujii.is.s.u-tokyo.ac.jp/jw-tmnlpo/RossKing.pdf 66
  • 67. Register Dossier FAE Cohesion Coherence Usage Nominalization Conjunctions Abstract Hedging Logic links Summary Claim Plagiarism Citation Argument Communication Paraphrasing moves Readability Argument Parallelism
  • 68. References • Cañas, A. J., & Novak, J.D. (2006) Re-examining the foundations for effective use of concept maps. In Cañas, A. J., & Novak, J.D. (Eds.), Concept Maps: Theory, Methodology, Technology. Proceedings of the Second International Conference on Concept Mapping. • Hunter, L. (2009) A Decision Matrix for the Use of Mapping and Mapping Software. Presented at EuroCALL 2009. http://www.lawriehunter.com/presns/eurocall09/ • Graphical texts: http://thisisindexed.com/ http://graphjam.memebase.com/ • Animated data: http://www.gapminder.org/ • Atkinson, D. (1999) Scientific discourse in sociohistorical context. Routledge.
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