2. While Elaine and Dinadan welcomed her second child, Brian‐‐

3. Palomides’ and Stacey’s girls were just about to grow up.
Be prepared for extreme cuteness.

4. I warned you!

5. Look at that. Iseult grew up pracFcally perfect in every way, including her hair
and her ouHit.
She’s a Fny bit mean—a Gemini, 6/9/9/7/3—but I can live with that.

6. Brangienne grew up prePy darned cute, too, even if her ouHit’s not so perfect.
She is a SagiParius—6/2/9/7/2.

7. Clothing and hair are easily fixed, and we shall say no more about her
personality.

8. Since Dinadan is the one who wanted all the grandchildren, I thought it
would be a good idea to invite him over to get to know his
granddaughters.

9. Iseult launched a full‐on charm offensive.

10. Meanwhile, Penelope kept Brangienne amused.

11. Or vice versa. It was hard to tell.

12. She looks a lot like Dinadan, I think.

13. There were a lot of group cuddles. And we all tried very hard not to think
“four down, two to go.”

14. Palomides is one of those Family Sims who really enjoys taking care of
his family.

15. No wonder Stacey is congratulaFng him on teaching Iseult how to walk.

16. He was on a skilling marathon for days.

17. They are both extremely cute and very bright.

19. Well, mostly. Except when they try to figure out logic puzzles by eaFng
the blocks‐‐

20. Or can’t figure them out at all. But Palomides is thrilled to have his twin
girls.

21. Everyone isn’t that lucky.

23. “I’m beginning to be really worried. We’ve been—”
“Trying for a Baby? WooHooing?
“Well, yes‐‐ for a while, but—”

24. “If you’re really worried, we can go see my great great great grandfather
MorFmer. He’s helped a lot of people. But there probably isn’t anything
to worry about.”

25. “ I’d feel a lot bePer if we did. You’re sure you don’t mind? You’re sure it
doesn’t maPer?”
“Of course it doesn’t.”

26. *Sigh.*

27. And so Zane and Lenore went to the Goodytwoshoes FerFlity Center and
AdopFon Clinic, as so many other couples had before.

28. Lenore: I’m sure he can help, if anyone can.

29. Lenore: . . .and so we came to you, but I’m sure we’re worrying about
nothing.

30. Robinoli: We’ll definitely do everything we can.

31. Aeer some extensive tesFng, however‐‐

32. MorFmer: I’m sorry. There doesn’t seem to be anything I can do.

33. Robinoli: I conducted the exams on Lenore myself.

34. Robinoli: As far as I can tell, everything seemed to be well within normal
range. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean everything.

35. MorFmer: Unfortunately, your test results‐‐

36. MorFmer: I don’t understand them at all. I can’t find any geneFc
informaFon. Nothing. It’s as though it had all been wiped out somehow.
I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s almost as though you weren’t alive.
Can you think of any reason that would be?

37. Zane: No—that can’t be.
MorFmer: I know it can’t, but that’s exactly what it looks like.

38. MorFmer: it looks as though all the life had been leached out of you‐‐

39. MorFmer: ‐‐ and then taken out again. It’s as though you don’t have any
life at all.

40. Zane: I AM a monster. I knew it. Lenore should never have married me. I
knew it.

41. Lenore: Zane?—
Honey?—

42. Zane: You can make a man have a baby with a man. You can intervene
with a couple who can’t. . .have the baby in a usual way. You can make a
man have a baby with himself, but you can’t help me? You can’t help us?
Is that right? Is that fair?

43. MorFmer: No, it’s not right, and it isn’t fair. Lenore’s my great‐great‐
great granddaughter. I helped my grandson Elroy, her great‐grandfather,
first. I wish I could help the two of you. But I can’t perform a geneFc
splice with no geneFc material. I can’t make something out of nothing.
I’m so sorry.

44. Zane: It’s all my fault. I knew it.

45. Lenore: Zane?
Zane: What?
Lenore: Nothing is your fault. I don’t want to hear you say that again. It’s
not your fault. It’s our problem. And we’ll deal with it together.

46. Miss Social Worker: Hello, Zane.
Zane: Miss Social Worker?

47. Miss Social Worker: Perhaps, Zane‐‐‐
I’ve helped you in the past. Perhaps I can help you again.

48. Zane: ‐‐no. No, I can’t hear that. Not now. Not today. I’m sorry.

49. Lenore: Zane?

50. Lenore: Come here, lambchop.

51. Lenore: I’m sad for us, too.

52. It’s doubly distressing to watch a couple who can’t have children and
then to go over to a household that doesn’t seem to be able to take care
of its children.

53. They were so stupid taking care of Rowena that I could scarcely believe it.
It turns out that it was my fault. Some MATY fixes are more trouble than
they’re worth.

54. The good thing is that they got over their sFnt of stupid child care and
made friends.

55. And by the Fme they got that straightened out, it was Fme for a double
birthday.

56. Killick: Which it is about )(&(*&(in’ –
Dinadan: NOT in front of the baby!
Killick: Um‐‐‐dingity dang Fme?
A sad comedown for an old salt like meself.

57. Penelope: Cake? Would you like to blow out the candles and have some cake?
Smores: Parsifal is a Popularity Sim.

58. Rowena: Cake!

59. Brian can’t have cake yet, though.

60. Rowena: Yay! I’m a big girl and I can talk and I’m awesome! And I can
ask quesFons!

61. And so she does. StarFng immediately.

62. Rowena: Grandpa, what am I supposed to do when I grow up?

63. Dinadan: Anything you like!
Rowena: Really?
Dinadan: Yes, you can do anything you like. You’re the tenth generaFon
heiress! You can pick whatever career you like, you can marry whoever
you like, you can follow the rules, you can not follow the rules—
Although I hope you will follow the rules and if you don’t, please don’t
tell your old Grandpa about it.

64. Brian is too young to worry about rules.

65. Ian was at work when the party started, and unfortunately, he got
demoted.

66. So pracFcally the first thing Rowena did as a child was run out to the
curb to give her daddy a reassuring hug.
Rowena: That’s ok, Daddy. Your boss is a stupidy stupid head. There’s
some cake inside.

67. Gawaine: Do you remember your first birthday party?
Rowena: Oh, sure! You’re Uncle Gawaine! Thanks for the birthday
present, although I’m a liPle old for blocks, although I’m sure Brian will
like them, but I really don’t play with blocks anymore‐‐

68. Rowena: ‐‐ but I could play with blocks if there is somebody to play with
blocks with. Do I have any cousins?
Gawaine: Well, there’s Iseult and Brangienne—
Rowena: Oh sure, I know about them, but have I got any more? Have you
got a liPle boy or a liPle girl? If you don’t, why don’t you? Are you
married? Do you have a girlfriend? Why don’t you have a girlfriend?
Would you like to have one? I think you should have a girlfriend so you
can get married and I can have some more cousins to play with.

69. Gawaine: ‐‐‐um—
Palomides: Bah hah hah! You keep at him, kid. It’s about Fme he got a
taste of his own medicine.

70. I think it’s fimng that Rosie came out to haunt tonight. Aeer all, she’s
now achieved everything she wanted the family to achieve and more.

71. Brian is blissfully unaware of all this.

72. I’m afraid he isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. And he’s the laziest
child I’ve had in years. He’s a Taurus like his sister, but he is 6/7/2/7/6. He
can barely stay awake long enough to skill.

73. He needs lots of play, lots of sleep, and lots of cuddles.

74. Lots and lots of cuddles. Poor Cappucino.

75. Jane: Are you sure you know what you’re doing?
Lenore: Yes, I do. Zane is going to be miserable unFl we have children,
and he’s much too miserable and guilty to make the call. And I want them
too, and I’m calling the Social Worker right this minute.

76. Zane was surprised when Madeleine Usher arrived, but not displeased.

77. In fact, he took over pumng her to bed.

78. And it’s really not surprising that she stole his heart. She’s his. She’s
theirs. Adopted or not.

79. Soon, he was too busy experiencing the joys of parenthood to think
about where Madeleine came from.

80. The joys, and some realiFes.

81. Lenore: Isn’t that amazing? She looks as though she’s got my daddy
Stanley’s nose!

82. Carmilla: She does! Who’s Grandma’s liPle wuzza wuzza wuzza?
Madeleine: Eeee!

83. They’re both right. She does look exactly as though she has Stanley’s nose.
___
Madeleine Usher is a Capricorn, 10/7/1/3/7.

84. What worked once works again.

85. And so Virginia became part of the family.—Virginia and her unusual,
prePy eyes, so much like her adopFve mother’s.

86. Not to menFon that she is uPerly adorable.
___
And extremely serious: a Virgo, 10/3/10/1/3.

87. Zane very much enjoys taking care of his children.
Gratuitous baby picture is gratuitous.

88. What with playing with dollhouses and learning how to talk, the Fme
just flies by, and it’s Fme for the girls’ birthday.

89. You see what I mean about Stanley’s nose? That definitely looks like
Stanley’s nose. Amazing, considering she’s adopted.

90. And Virginia strongly favors Zane, or she would if she were his biological
child, which is one of those mysteries into which we shall not delve.

91. Over at Palomides’ and Stacey’s house, it’s also Fme for some birthdays.
Iseult doesn’t grow up quite as beauFfully as she did last Fme.

92. And Brangienne needs a different hairstyle. And they really ought to
match, don’t you think?

93. So now they do, and they are definitely Goodytwoshoes girls. They are
somehow princess‐y in a way that their cousin Rowena, paradoxically, is
not.

94. There’s something serene about Iseult.

95. Brangienne isn’t so serene, but she’s definitely princess‐y.

96. They were almost immediately greeted by a surprise.

97. Stacey: Don’t worry, sweeFe. Mommy’s fine, and babies are a good
thing!

98. Palomides and Stacey had yet another girl, Nimue, with her mother’s skin
tone and blue eyes like her grandfather.
I am trying very hard not to think ,“five down, one to go.”

99. Because Elaine had a pause between babies, she finally achieved her
LTW of Professional Party Guest. Her second LTW is going to remain
unfulfilled.

100. Penelope: CongratulaFons, sweeFe! You are now the proud owner of an
ice cream store!
Elaine appears able to contain her enthusiasm.
Running the businesses is yet another thing that I don’t have to do any
more, but I’m doing it anyway because I’m used to it.

101. I love it when Sims get the memory of earning a lot of money “all by
themselves” by standing around at a business and doing nothing.

102. The penalty for this is that Ian has to listen while Elaine Passes Along all
the business perks.

103. Jamie: If I stand here and look confused, maybe Ian will sell me some ice
cream! Mmmm, ice cream. Mmm, Ian.
Nope, it’s not going to happen. Simselves: inappropriately greedy in every
sense of the word.
‐‐‐
Jamie—DocGirlP—writes the Bohemian Legacy.

104. Never mind, Jamie got some ice cream anyway.
Jamie: Ian is #1!

105. Meanwhile, the reporter was so excited by Killick selling her some decoraFve
ice cream that she hit herself in the face with her own notebook.
And then they were able to leave the business that neither of them were very
interested in so that they could go home in Fme for another birthday.

106. Some Legacy Sims have issues. Rhys Fitzhugh likes picking fights, and so
does Spider Jerusalem, with predictable and distressing results.

107. However, they add a liPle color and interest to any gathering, don’t
they? Rhys, Artemis Bohemian, and Ephemeral Toast were all friends of
Ian’s before he got married, so he was allowed to invite the guests.

108. Brian: I’m cute!
And very shortly, cute will not be enough.

109. Maybe if everybody cheers him on enough, he’ll also grow up smart.

110. I don’t think Brian is concerned about the meaning of life, the universe,
and everything, no maPer what his shirt says.

111. Parsifal: I hope you’re not going to ask me a lot of awkward and embarrassing
quesFons.
Brian: Am I supposed to?

112. He is a mellow kid.

113. Rowena: Daddy loves me.

114. Dinadan is clearly trying not to look impaFent.

115. SomeFmes I feel bad for Family Sims’ kids, since they are oeen the ones
who have to fulfill their parents’ LTWs. But despite appearances, Elaine
didn’t seem to mind too badly.

116. Another girl—Mackenzie—and Dinadan just went permaplat.
Six children in this generaFon, and five of them are girls. This never
happens when you truly need it. But now that we have them, we might
as well invite everybody over for a play date.

117. Rowena definitely hit it off with Brangienne.

118. Iseult is more placid, but she definitely belongs here.

119. Never let it be said that we are too aPached to tradiFonal gender roles
around here. There is nothing wrong with girls playing cops and robbers
or boys playing with dollhouses, no maPer how much Virginia stares.

120. I think Brian may have noFced that here is a girl who is even lazier than
he is.

121. But it’s Virginia that he singles out to talk to.

122. And play with.
Virginia: Eee! Too boyish and scary!

123. Brian: Well, ok—I don’t have to be all boyish and scary.
Virginia: *giggle*
Hmm.

124. Margery Goodytwoshoes, A History of Li?le Goodytwoshoes, 1765;
pictures from 1888 and 1768 ediFons.

125. Credits—
Ian Legacina, Orikes‐‐ Pseudo Legacy
Rhys Fitzhugh, Marina—Fitzhugh Legacy, Villainous Apocalypse
Zane Devereaux, Peasant007—Devereaux Legacy
Spider Jerusalem VeFnari, Cassidy VeFnari, Doctor Supreme Nerd, VeInari Dualegacy
Dinadan Locks, RubyBlue—Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs
Stanley Legacy, Dicreasy—Victorian Legacy
Artemis Bohemian, Jamie/DocGirlP‐‐ Bohemian Legacy
Jack Buccaneer, Purple Bunny—PiraIcal Legacy
Publius Scipio—Ben/Blite27, Ten Caesars
Jamie/DocGirlP, Ephemeral Toast, Apocalypso A Go Go, The Almighty Robinoli, It’s a Legacy
Darling!—their simselves.
Stay tuned for what will almost certainly be the final chapter of The Squeaky Clean Legacy.