Purposeful Influence: Keynote at Connecticut Leadership Institute, August 9. 2013

Keynote by Peter Bromberg
Connecticut Library Leadership Institute
West Hartford, CT August 9, 2013
Purposeful Influence
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/5830898919/sizes/o/in/photostream/ (CC BY 2.0)

I Believe that…
We all exert influence
We can make conscious choices
that will increase our influence
We can learn to make better choices
more consciously and consistently
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/5830898919/sizes/o/in/photostream/ (CC BY 2.0)

“Between stimulus and response there is
a space.
In that space is our power to choose our
response.
In our response lies our growth and our
freedom.”
- Viktor E. Frankl

World population: 7,200,000,000
Ever Lived: 108,000,000,000
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nationallibrarynz_commons/3326203787/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Change
the absolutely crazy
historically unprecedented
accelerating pace of
or…
Why your ability and willingness to
influence is more important than ever.

Exponential Pace of Change
1.5 mill yrs lever, wedge
500,000 yrs control of fire
50,000 yrs bow & arrow
5,000 years wheel and axle; sail
500 years printing press with movable type; rifle
100 years automobiles
55 years satellites
32 years IBM Home Computer
28 years Windows / Mac
20 years World Wide Web
12-14 years iPod, Netflix, Tivo
6-10 years Ubiquitous Broadband, Blogging, Skype
4-6 years iPhone, Android, App Stores, Geolocation
< 6 years SMS, Cell phone ubiquity, Twitter, Facebook
< 2 years
Smartphones, Tablets, iPads, Cloud, Instagram, Snapchat
AMAZON-APPLE-GOOGLE-FACEBOOK

The pace of change is accelerating and the
progression is exponential. We are actually
doubling the power of these technologies now in
less than a year.
Indeed [for a wide variety of technologies], we
find not just simple exponential growth, but
“double” exponential growth, meaning that the
rate of exponential growth is itself growing
exponentially.
- Ray Kurzweil,
Author, Inventor, Futurist
https://www.facebook.com/blog/blog.php?post=112344532130http://www.kurzweilai.net/the-law-of-accelerating-returns

Change & Expectations
“Everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy”
-Louis CK

Unfreeze/Change/Refreeze
www.flickr.com/photos/circulating/3251962169 Kurt Lewin

“And you know
something is
happening here
but you don’t know
what it is…
Do you,
Mr. Jones?”
And it sounds… like this

And it sounds… like this
Ballad of a Thin Man
Recorded 8/2/65
Morley Safer sends
1st Vietnam report
indicating we are
losing…

The beginning
of the end
of
NORMAL

Permanent Whitewater
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nukeit1/244167779/

Permanent Whitewater
http://www.flickr.com/photos/nukeit1/244167779/
That‟s great…
So what do we do
about it?

Photo cc license 2.0 courtesy flickr user Chrissy Eliza
http://www.flickr.com/photos/chrissyeliza/4142314898/sizes/l/in/photostream/
Flatter Organizations
- Agile -
- Flexible -
- Adaptable -
- Innovative -
- Responsive -

http://newcdn.flamehaus.com/Valve_Handbook_LowRes.pd f
Flatter Organizations

A Strong Shared Vision
Image source: http://www.thetransactiontax.org/2012/01/16/i-have-a-dream/

-
- Have no formal authority
- Are passionate & engaged
- Motivate others
- Initiate new ideas
- Seek others’ opinions
(Emergent Leadership concept from Peter Northouse)Image: http://www.makingadifferencedaily.com/apps/vblog/
A New Type of Employee
Emergent Leaders
Emergent Leadership concept from Peter Northouse)

Connected Influence
- Mark Goulston and John Ullment

“You cannot antagonize
and influence at the same
time.”
- J.S. Knox

Your Here
http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/

http://justinmaier.com/2006/05/09/amazing-3d-art-by-julian-bever/
Their There

Three Traps that Disconnect
1. Fight or Flight
2. Habit Handicap
3. Error Blindness
- Adapted from “Real Influence” by Mark Goulston
(CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/7196003@N02/4128356306/“
Connected Influence

CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/wespeck/4960579336/sizes/l/in/photostream
“I think about what both sides want
and need, and I try to put the pieces
together to make it easy for people to
say yes. “
– Giang Biscan

A Few Steps to Connected Influence
Adapted from Goulston and Ullmen
CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/wespeck/4960579336/sizes/l/in/photostream
1. Go for great outcomes
2. Be influencable
3. Engage them in “their there”

Influence or Leadership?
“A piece of spaghetti or a
military unit can only be led
from the front end.”
- General George Patton

Courageous Followership
1. The courage to assume responsibility
2. The courage to serve and support others
3. The courage to challenge
4. The courage to participate in transformation
5. The courage to take moral action (or leave)
- Adapted from “The Courageous Follower” by Ira Chaleff
The Five Dimensions of Courage

Courageous Followership
“Followers don‟t serve leaders. Both
followers and leaders serve a common
purpose, serve a vision. And they do
it within
a set of shared values.”
-Ira Chaleff

Leadership is…
The alignment of our energy and the
energies of others towards the
manifestation of a
mutually enriching future state.

Warren Bennis‟
Four Competencies of Leadership
Attention
Meaning
Trust
Self
(Hey… that sounds an awful lot like…)

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Definition of EQ from Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Social skill
• Empathy
• Self-Motivation
Definition of EQ from Daniel Goleman

It‟s Not About Being Nice
Image: CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/dirigentens/4592361218/sizes/l/in/photostream

When we avoid
difficult conversations
we trade short term discomfort
for long term dysfunction
CC by 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/jimwall/5129679770/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Courageous Conversations
Concern
Trust
Respect
Appreciation
Affection
Hope
Nicholas Burbules, Dialogue in Teaching. Theory and Practice.

Effective Communication
is Rooted in EQ
• Self-awareness
• Self-regulation
• Social skill
• Empathy
• Self-Motivation

Raise Your EQ: Make it a Habit

Know Thyself
Personality Styles
Courtesy Flickr user mayhem (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/81126501@N00/3975910516
•DISC
•Myers Briggs
•Enneagram
•Strengths Finder
•True Colors

Know Others
• DISC
• Myers Briggs
• Enneagram
• Strengths Finder
• True Colors

Platinum Rule
Treat others the way they
want to be treated

Take Care of Your Brain
Courtesy of Flickr x-ray delta one (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/x-ray_delta_one/5868803382

Take Care of Your Body
http://www.swiss-miss.com/2010/10/vintage-fitness-equipment.html

Exercise
Courtesy Flickr user kevin dooley(CC BY 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/12836528@N00/2811161524/

Eat Well
(and often)
Courtesy of Flickr user Mike_tn (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/beginasyouare/290953222/sizes/o/in/photostream

Sleep
Library of Congress. No known license:: http://www.flickr.com/photos/library_of_congress/2162949251 /

Clean up Tolerations
Courtesy Flickr user wetsun (CC BY 2.0) http://www.flickr.com/photos/wetsun/72733049/sizes/z/in/photostream/

Meditate
Screenshot from “Guru Meditation”

“Repeated studies have demonstrated that meditation
can rewire how the brain responds to stress. Boston
University researchers showed that after as little as
three and a half hours of meditation training, subjects
tend to react less to emotionally charged images.
“Other research suggests that meditation improves
working memory and executive function. And several
studies of long-term practitioners show an increased
ability to concentrate on fast-changing stimuli..”
-Wired Magazine
-http://www.wired.com/business/2013/06/meditation-mindfulness-silicon-valley/

Participating in an 8-week mindfulness meditation
program appears to make measurable changes in brain
regions associated with memory, sense of self,
empathy and stress.
"It is fascinating to see the brain's plasticity and that,
by practicing meditation, we can play an active role in
changing the brain and can increase our well-being
and quality of life." says Britta Hölzel, PhD.
- Science News Daily
-http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110121144007.htm

Better Mood
(FYI… Mood Matters)

Happiness Research
“When you are experiencing positive
emotions like joy, contentment, and love,
you will see more possibilities
in your life.
These findings were among the first that
suggested positive emotions broaden your
sense of possibility and open your mind up
to more options.”
The Science of Positive Thinking: How Positive Thoughts Build Your Skills, Boost Your Health, and Improve Your Work
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/positive-thinking_b_3512202.html

Resourcefulness
http://www.flickr.com/photos/danisarda/4043404303/sizes/l/in/photostream/
(CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) Flickr user: ~Oryctes~

Intro to Coaching
When we aren't getting what we
want, we basically have three options
available to us. We can change what
we want, we can change our
behavior, or we can change our
perception.
Coaching addresses all three
Modified from Steve and Jill Morris’ Leadership Simple

COACHING
Increases
your state of
resourcefulness

ASSUMPTION:
You are…
Creative
Resourceful
and Whole

Provocative Questions
• What result do I want?
• Were is my attention focused?
• What else could this mean?
• What resources are available?
• What’s stopping me?
• What assumptions am I making?
• What have I tried?
• What actions can I take?
• What action WILL I commit to?
• Did that move me in the right direction?

Coaching  Awarness and Action
1. What do you want?
2. What have you tried?
3. What was the result?
4. What else can you do?
5. What WILL you do?

Coaching  Awarness and Action
1. What do you want?
2. What have you tried?
3. What was the result?
4. What else can you do?
5. What WILL you do?
Accountability

Trust is the conduit
for influence; it‟s the medium
through which ideas travel.
If they don’t trust you, your ideas are just dead
in the water. Having the best idea is worth
nothing if people don’t trust you."
- Amy Cuddy

It‟s not what they
call you,
it‟s what you
answer to.
-W.C. Fields

…one’s own small flame to the
central flames of life and the world.
We cannot predict the exact details of the future, but
we can have a hand in shaping the heart of the
future, including its context of meaning and our
commitment and courage in advancing into the
unknown.
Continually Connect…
- Robert K Cooper, Ayman Sawaf, Executive EQ

“Choosing to act on „what matters’ is the
choice to live a
passionate existence…
Acting on what matters is a stance
whereby we declare
we are accountable for the world around
us and are willing to pursue what we
define as important.
- Peter Block

“My job is to
awaken possibility
in other people”
-Benjamin Zander
http://www.flickr.com/photos/radiorover/2787677403/

Peter Bromberg | peterbromberg@gmail.com
Image CC BY-ND 2.0 http://www.flickr.com/photos/iain/4101881178/sizes/l/in/photostream/

Purposeful Influence: Keynote at Connecticut Leadership Institute, August 9. 2013

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Purposeful Influence: Keynote at Connecticut Leadership Institute, August 9. 2013