1. Marriage and the Military

3. Marriage in the best of circumstances is not an easy task. It takes maturity, communication, and plain old hard work. Marriage in the Military world is even harder to maintain. They're not kidding when they say being a Military spouse is the toughest job in the service.

5. Most are away from home for the first times in their lives, many right out of High School. They are lonely...someone pays attention to them...usually a young girl or guy that wants to get out of their homes. And let us not forget those that are just looking for that guaranteed income...G.I. (many times found at bars, on first tours overseas, etc.) All of a sudden they are in Basic Training...guess what...no free housing for the spouse. How will you handle housing issues? The troop is away at training for a long period of time or on that first 12 month deployment. Contact is sparse during initial training sometimes for up to a month you may not hear from your soldier. Contact can be sparse for the first few weeks of a deployment or for the entire deployment. It's not always like this to be honest, but it is just way too often.

6. Getting the picture so far? Guess what happens next?

8. You have your spouse crying, complaining, accusing you of cheating...because thanks to the rumor mill that is FAMOUS on military personals they hear the guys or gals are having a big party 24/7 and sleeping with everyone but you. Troops are worried about their spouses leaving them or cheating. Yes, it does happen...its called the "Dear John" syndrome. There is the stress that the Troop has to deal with in their day to day job. Before you know it you are either in trouble with your command, your divorced (and yup there goes most your paycheck for child support). You can consider yourself lucky if that is all that happens.

10. Infidelity issues stem from other deep seated reasons and many times immaturity. Oh and guess what? There is this code of military law....UCMJ. They frown deeply on Adultery. And really think about it....your Soldier is working 15 hour days now with no time off, living in tents. Doesn't sound like a wild drunken orgy to me.

12. Another big item. Internet romances. Now I'm not going to say it doesn't work out. I met my Soldier on the Internet and we spent a year doing the emails, web cam, phone calls and we did get to know each other better than most who've been dating for years.

14. Do your research! Never give them personal information. If you do finally meet do it in a public place. Get to know their family. I was talking to my Soldier's Father on the phone when we met on the net. He would call me to see how his son was doing, because he spent all his free time with me. And for God's sake don't rush into marriage. My Hubby says it should be a law that you live together for a year before marriage, and I have to agree with him.

16. First, you have the suspicious spouse that thinks that just because they are separated that the other spouse can't go without sex. A lot of times the accusations are unfounded, but it ends up adding a tremendous stress on the marriage. No matter what you do or say they will accuse you.

18. Again, much of this comes from immaturity and inexperience in running a household. Believe me no one gets along when there are money issues.

20. Yes, being married to a Soldier is the hardest job you'll ever have, but I will have to say that it is also the most rewarding and loving job you'll ever have.