This document discusses strategies for building confidence and credibility when facing conflicts. It recommends using a co-creation approach to address interests of both parties and find mutual gains. Co-creation involves building on each other's ideas using responses like "Yes, and..." to reduce fear and increase understanding. Exercises are provided to practice co-creation, such as collaboratively telling a story. The document advises using "you" and "I" messages to openly share interests and perspectives to better understand each other and find solutions where both sides' needs are met.

1. Confidence, Credibility, and Conflict Rob Buccino Guest Presenter, Metro Mentoring Program NeoCortex Consulting Group

2. Our interests Their interests When do we need confidence and credibility?In conflict

3. Conflicts are everywhere Getting heard Getting respect Asking for a raise Selling Dealing with your kids Getting promoted Delegating Setting priorities Making group choices

4. How do we usually feelwhen facing conflicts?

5. Fight Flee We have choices in how wedeal with our fear Compromise Co-creation Freeze

6. Our choices influence our confidence and credibility Flee Freeze Fight Compromise Co-create Less More

7. Why co-create? Reduces fear and increases optimism Addresses your interests AND theirs Can increase the overall ‘win’ (vs. compromise) Increases understanding and empathy

8. How to co-create “Yes,but….” “Yes, and….”

9. Exercising co-creation: “A story that’s never been told” Group picks a topic Two volunteers Each person says one sentence Next person says, “Yes, and…” before continuing the story Do NOT say, “Yes, but…” or just “Yes” Continue until told to stop

10. What obstacles block accepting another’s ideas? How does it feel to have your ideas consistently accepted and built on? In what ways could you use co-creation to build confidence and credibility in your work?

12. Declare your own

14. “You’re feeling…”

15. “You’re thinking…”

16. “You’re concerned…”

18. “I feel…”

19. “I’m thinking…”

20. “I’m concerned…”

22. Group exercise Create a “you-message” that helps surface the boss’ interests Create an “I-message” that helps you declare your interests How would you go aboutco-creating mutual gains?

23. Discussion

24. One other thing to think about…

25. Credibility thrives on accountability Choose your commitments Timelines & specifications Not what you “can do,” but “will do”

26. In conclusion:from conflict can come creativity, confidence, and credibility…

27. Eleanor Roosevelt "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you must stop and look fear in the face."

28. Hamilton Mabie “Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.”