Healing Mental Abuse

1. Are Couple's Discussions A Battle For
Control?
Stop Putting Down Your Spouse Now, Or Pay The Consequences Later!
We are the end result of previous life experiences; so we end up prisoners of old
conceptions about gender roles. Engraved in our brains as truths are some
“primordial” concepts that make men in relationship to be continuously in the
push either to get, manage or recover control...
Some men have been raised to be the ultimate decision-maker, the higher level of
control of what happens in the family and the ultimate reference concerning
choices for the whole family group.
Yes, still we have men deeply thinking that have to be the head of the house:
meaning the decision-making cold thinking head. In this polarized conversation,
whatever comes from the soft side, from emotions, is perceived as a threat to the
cristal clear vision that logic-based thinking provides....Women end up labeled as
emotional, irrational beings not having a cold head to make good decisions.
Know what? it we re-frame the whole interaction as a conversation where both
sides need to learn from each other, then it is more clear what is going
on...beyond accepting that having a rational decision is the purpose, we get to
see that the whole exercise has the purpose of connecting both sides of the
couple! Even when he thinks that there is a need to decide rationally, and she
wants to be listened to, both are struggling to reach out to the other, and are

2. being blindsided by their old, ineffective mental maps.
Focusing on the more important question: how do we communicate with each
other? will do away with preconceived role models. If we accept that touching
base with each other at the level of mutual acceptance and respect helps both
feel appreciated, then the dispute melts away.
Finally, all disputes are ways of asking for the other side’s engagement and
support. Instead of asking: what are we here fighting for? we could ask: what is
what we now need from each other?
Nora Femenia, PhD is passionate about supporting people's recovery from emotional abuse
once and for all. Nora has created a powerful set of tools for helping women and men break
out of the mind-set that keeps them trapped in a toxic relationship, by first discovering their
unconscious beliefs and family blueprints that prevent them from seeking their own
happiness. To know more about her latest book "Recovering From Emotionally Abusive
Relationships" please visit http://www.healingemotionalabuse.com