Considerations to have for list building and using auto responders. Most companies use aweber, so beginner affiliates would have an easier time going with aweber. http://www.aweber.com/?389109

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I am really depressed today. An old e-newsletter flame that dumped me many months ago sent
me an email out of the blue. I hadn't received any emails from this old flame in months. I did not
even think I was still on the list. Receiving that e-newsletter conjured up feelings of betrayal and
hurt that I thought I had resolved after dozens of sessions with my therapist. And to make matters
worse, the email newsletter was trying to get me to buy some product, from another company, that
my old flame was 'recommending.' My flame did not even have the decency to send me an email
newsletter about how things were going in his neck of the woods. I still can't believe any of this is
happening.
My therapist says that journaling about my problems will bring clarity and understanding. I hope
she's right. I guess the best place for me to start is to outline how this sordid affair ever began in
the first place. If I get emotional, please forgive me. I really cared for my old flame and my heart is
still a little tender. I just don't understand how any of this happened. I never signed up for the pain
and tears my old flame left me with. I never signed up for being dumped by an auto-responder
email newsletter. But let's go back eight months so I can tell you how this auto-responder and I
first met.
Back in May, a friend of mine told me about a great self-development book she was reading. She
couldn't stop talking about it; every time I saw my friend she talked and talked about the book. She
kept on telling me I would really like it. After days and days of hearing about the book I went online
and bought it. What do you know, my friend was right! I really liked the book. Within the first few
chapters I was putting the methods into practice and seeing great results.
After reading about a quarter of the book I wanted to know more about the author and his
company so I followed the URL on the back of the book to the author's website. There was a ton
of information about the book as well as highlights of courses and seminars that were being
offered at different locations around the world. It seemed that the company was offering seminar
versions of what was covered in the book for those who either had ADD or were short on time and
where unable to read the 400-plus-page book. I didn't really pay much attention to all the
information about the courses and seminars since I already had the book and didn't mind the
lengthy read. I did notice an e-newsletter signup box on the homepage, though. "Why not?" I
thought. Maybe I would find out more ways to apply the principles in the book.
Soon I was receiving e-newsletters every Wednesday. I was right! Each email newsletter outlined
different methods from the book. There were lots of real life application examples and testimonials
from people who had also applied the principles. Oh sure, there were ads mentioning the courses
and seminars, but I didn't mind. Within a few weeks I was looking forward to getting my weekly e-
zine. It was official. This e-newsletter and I were going steady.

2. A few weeks later, Wednesday came and I didn't get an email newsletter from my flame. I was
perplexed. Those weekly e-zines were really helping me as I studied the book. I did not want to
miss any of the valuable information so I went back to the website and signed up again. Just like
when I signed up the first time, the signup form asked me for my name. I was already signed up
under the name Joan and wanted to see if my original signup was still out there. I knew the only
way I could track my signups was to choose another name. I picked an alternate name, went
ahead and signed up, and eagerly awaited the next e-newsletter.
Soon I was back on track and receiving the weekly e-zine. I could tell my second signup had
worked because my alternate name was being used. It was kind of funny and I wondered if
anyone ever looked at the names on that email newsletter list. I guess I will never know, but at
least it gave me a bit of a giggle every time I open my weekly e-newsletters and read the opening
salutation of 'Dear Squidlips.'
A few weeks after my Squidlips signup, I started to get strange feelings of déjà vu
as I was reading my weekly newsletter. Had I seen this email before? I located my book folder in
my email client and looked through all the email newsletters I had received from this company. I
could not believe it. These e-newsletters were set up on an auto-responder service! My weekly
Dear Squidlips emails had started back at the beginning of a series of email messages. I WAS
having déjà vu; I was reading emails I had already received!
Now my knickers were in a twist. This was not a weekly e-zine! This was a series of promo
messages! What was the deal? I had experienced flings with auto-responders before. I knew the
drill. I had been on 'five day e-courses' and known all along that the messages were sitting in
some database waiting for me to signup. I knew when I subscribed it would trigger a series of
messages to get delivered to me in a certain sequence. Heck, I even used email auto-responders
with my own business. What I had not expected was to get into an auto-responder fling when I
signed up for a weekly e-newsletter. I thought this email newsletter and I had made a commitment.
I thought we were going steady.
After a sleepless night of tears and accepting that I was having a relationship with a database, I
decided to stay on the list. Weekly e-newsletters kept on coming addressed to Squidlips. After a
while I forgot about the auto-responder factor and started to enjoy the content in the auto-
responder e-zines. Deep down I knew I was having a fling but I didn't care. I was still reading the
400-plus-page book and I thought the articles in the e-newsletters really enhanced my reading.
Months went by. This was getting to be quite the auto-responder fling! Email message after email
message appeared week after week addressed to Squidlips. But then, one day the tone of the
email newsletter seemed a little different. The email message basically said I was being dumped.
Well, it didn't say the word 'dumped.' It said since I had not bought anything that the newsletters
were promoting, this would be the last e-newsletter I would be receiving. Translation: "We have
tried and tried to get you to buy a course or seminar and we don't know any other way to convince
you to buy something and we have given up, so get lost...loser." By the time I finished reading the
e-zine I was in tears. It was probably my own fault, but I had grown attached to these emails and I
really looked forward to getting them.
For days I was in a funk. I cried, ripped the down feathers out of my designer pillows, and got
really depressed. Day after day I visited deeper and deeper recesses of my being that I did not

3. even know existed. The depression grew worse and worse. I wondered if that auto-responder e-
zine, or whatever it was, knew I had paid $40 for their book. I laid awake, night after night, asking
the Universe why this company had a weekly e-newsletter signup form in their homepage that was
really a series of canned emails tailored to promote their products. Weeks went by and the
confusion remained. Would I ever recover from being dumped by this auto-responder?
When I was able to leave the house without fainting, I booked a few sessions with my therapist.
Maybe she could help me realized why I was so hurt. It took a lot of deep breathing, but I soon
found the root cause of my pain. At first it was hard for me to wrap my head around the truth, but I
think my depression was triggered by this company 'unsubscribing me' from their e-newsletter list.
I thought the way this opt-in email newsletter stuff worked was that I got to do the dumping. I
thought I got to 'unsubscribe' when I wanted the love affair to be over.
In the past my auto-responder affairs have ended and my life went on without much longing for the
arms of my absent email lover. I admit for a few days I would miss getting the emails, but let's face
it, when the affair started I knew it would be no different than the summer I had that hot and heavy
romance with Melvin from Cleveland. All summer I knew come Labor Day, Melvin would leave his
grandmother's house (which happened to be across the street from mine), go back to Cleveland,
and I would never see him again. I knew most likely he wouldn't even write me. We didn't care
what was going to happen when school started; Melvin and I smooched every minute of every day
and made the most of that summer.
Most of my auto-responder email affairs have been exactly the same as my summer with Melvin.
Hot and heavy for a while, lots of frequent in-your-face contact, and then nothing. Sometimes
some of my auto-responder lovers have encouraged me to signup for their regular email list
because they wanted to continue our relationship with something more formal and real-time. Some
just stop emailing and I never heard from them again. Regardless, I knew from the beginning that
the email relationship was a 'Melvin'; I knew the email relationship was a short-term fling.
It had been months since this all happened and I thought I was over my old e-newsletter flame.
That auto-responder that masqueraded as a going steady e-newsletter relationship was tucked
away in my past. I really thought the flame had been snuffed out months ago. I remembered that
last email; how could I forget it? The company had been clear and had had no qualms about
telling me I was being un-subscribed for lack of purchase. But then, as I mentioned at this
beginning of this journal entry, out of the blue, I got a lone message from the company. I'll admit
my heart sang a bit when I saw the email message sitting in my in-box. I thought the company had
experienced a change of heart and really did love me. I thought my email flame wanted me back.
I was wrong. The email was worse than my last Dear Squidlips email (that should have read 'Dear
John'). I guess the company thought they would try to get me to buy something from a company
they were 'recommending' since they had not experienced any luck with me buying something
from them.
I'm happy to report that earlier today, I un-subscribed myself from their newsletter list. I didn't want
to get my heart broken again so I took matters into my own hands and dumped the company from
my in-box. When I un-subscribed from the list, I was asked why I was leaving. I was happy to
answer the question:

4. "Summer was great, Melvin, but school is about to start and you need to go back to Cleveland."
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Earn good karma, forward this article to everyone you know who has an email address.
Copyright Joan Pasay - 2005
Article Source:
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