Garbitrage is a startup company founded by Norman Invasion and Roman Bath that uses unconventional accounting practices and business models. The management team has experience in waste removal and accounting, as well as previous ventures in odd industries. Garbitrage plans to pursue a flexible and adaptable business approach focused on "value added accounting" through creative journal entries and financial statements. The founders seek investor capital to fund extravagant employee perks and management bonuses.

1. Garbitrage, Inc
“Profitability is but a journal entry away”
Contact Information:
CEO - Norman Invasion
Seeyouin1066@gbte.com
CIO - Roman Bath
reallykleen@gbte.com

2. “fiddlesticks to that double entry method of book keeping , …it’s only
good for keeping track of books….”
• Introduction
• Why I agreed to do this on behalf of the
Garbitrage team -
• Garbitrage follows the KISS principle -
AKA fat old bald guys with bodies like
John Candy who can’t play or sing but hide
it through smoke, mirrors, and spandex
pants applied with turnbuckles

3. “Garbitrage is all about the misled misleading the misleadable”
• We’ve seen it all
• We’ve been the cause of most of it - (founders
are deeply involved with Freemasonry, the Vatican, Tri-Lateral
Commission, United Nations and Area 51)
• We want to do it again
• We want to tell you about it
• You want to hear it
• Can you dig it, oh yes you can

4. “…one man’s garbage is another man’s trash….”
COMPANY OVERVIEW
• Arbitrage + Garbage = Garbitrage
• High friends in low places, buying high
while high and selling low when sober
• Highly flexible business model, adaptable,
counter-cyclical, and larcenogenic.
• Definition of Larcenogenic

5. “…Foreign people are all smarter than we are because they can
speak foreign languages, and they’re good in math, though
regrettably short in stature, but very clean….”
EXPERIENCED MANAGEMENT TEAM
• Mr. Norman Invasion, CEO and Founder
– Rowing across the English Channel from Northern France to
England, so he couldn’t be here tonight.
– Responsible for MLK, RFK, JFK, the Energy Crisis, and
introducing Yoko to John, Nancy to Sid, and Courtney to
Kirk
– Performance and dance therapist in spare time
The founders have:
– Parked at or near MIT
– Ridden the T at Harvard Square
– Correctly identified Palo Alto (home of Stanford) on a map
– a whopping 200 collective years of experience in waste
removal and accounting, a rare combination.

6. “….No Roman, I’m serious, she told me pocket protectors made her hot
but somehow right after that I found my wallet was missing….”
• Previous “Big Wins” for Founders
• BaloneyNet.com - mass customized virtual reality
baloney aimed at the corporate gift market
• Vamptec.com - Capitalizing on the fear of angry
vampires and boogeymen
• Optiswitch - An optical switch company (used
eyeglasses exchange)
• What do these businesses have in common?

7. “….By God’s teeth, the leaders of Garbitrage aren’t not fit to not
lead….”
Market Opportunity Competitive Advantage
• A highly fragmented • A team with the desire,
market ability and intent to
• A chance to be the low perjure
cost driver
• We’re direct resellers
• A radical business model
• Think of us holding the • English Channel
remote control for Management
managing the • Management team is
channel…….. cloned when necessary

8. “…the machinery of capitalism in truly oiled not with the blood of the
urban proletariat, but with warm beer from a can…Go Pats..”
Sample of already cloned management.
Left, Che Guevara:Vice President of Global Expansion - pre-soaking in
quicklime and apple cider vinegar, nicely morphed into…..
Right, Jeffrey Skilling: Chief Executive of Debt Management -
practicing singing out for guards in prison

9. “…Uh, waiting guy there, …what kind of wine goes with bacon?”
• Recognize companies change course, so
why bother starting with a course
• Thrown away the compass, the baby, the
bathwater, and respect for the “law”
• The inmates are running the asylum
• Accounting department is finally in charge
• “Me, fail English? That’s unpossible, but I
guess I’ll go into Accounting”

10. “Garbitrage..is..simply….a titanium link in a chain of loose stool…..”
• Manufacturer of Tag Lines and creative accounting
standards
• E.g. - “We bring Marxism to Capitalism”
• Thru the power of “value added accounting” -
Bioinfomatic application nanotech carbon tube based
pilsner fuel cell powered blade server platform
• THE OLD MODEL - Gigabit ASP e-commerce optical
switch portal for e-business B2B, B2C, B2G and B2E,
blah, blah, community, blah, blah, enable, blah, blah,
content.
• We used to shift paradigms, but we wore out the clutch.

11. “……all of the women we hire will look like Minnie Pearl”
• Change business models early and often
• Focus on Journal Entries with our patented “single
entry” accounting methods - strong IP
• No more pesky reconciling items
• No more spel check
• Use Powerful “Computers” and the “inter - net”
• Driving value to the bottom line, top line, and all
those lines in the middle covered with confusing
little numbers

12. “…All of our goals could be met by others if we try hard
enough…”
•Uses of your investments (cash only please):
•Really big bowl of butterscotch pudding for the
employee break room
•Bonuses for the senior guys that are “in-charge”
•One word: Arthur Murray
•Structure partnerships to keep bad things (I.E. OUR
PARTNERS) away from us
•Hire Jerry Garcia/Mother Theresa for IPO road
shows (check availability)

13. “….revenge is a dish best served with a side salad…”
• Directors of Sexual Harassment - Eileen and Ben
Dover, Pat McCann, and Hugh Jazz
• Director of Revenue Creation - Bo “Gus” Records
• Manager of Cardiac Conditioning - Angie
O’Plasty
• Has Pat McCann sunk in yet? Pat - Mc - Cann?
Harassment? Pat?

14. “…but if our revenue projections are text-book
perfection, who wouldn’t want to invest, for cryin’
out loud there’s a friggin’ hockey stick!!”
45
40
35
30
Illegal Acts
25
Value
20 Money
15
10
5
0
Right Now Later The Future

15. “Moh-Zart? What the hell is up with that?…….I consider the
music of Uriah Heep to be the finest accomplishment of Western
Civilization and tangible proof of divine grace……”
• Why Garbitrage? Why now? Why not?
• Team has a long record of international
conspiracy, promotion of halitosis, revisionism,
oppression, and working for both the Man and
Mr. Charlie without the other knowing about it.
• Finally, seek your involvement to provide a trail
of indictments to all the Garbitrage stakeholders
that leads away from the founders, who’ll be
safely manipulating the world’s weather from their
underground stronghold, just outside Worcester….

16. “….do it wrong the third time, and don’t waste a whole ass when a half
ass will serve…….
“…When You Earnestly Believe
You Can Compensate For a Lack
of Skill by Redoubling Your
Efforts, There’s no End to What
You Can’t Do…..”