Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

The Coral Gables Chamber
presents

Communicate
Powerfully
Without Being A
You-Know-What

By
Michelle Villalobos
Thursday, October 21, 2010

“Companies with the most women
in senior management positions
had a 35% higher return on
equity and a 34% higher return
to shareholders.”
– Catalyst Study


yet...
Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%)
and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%)
are run by women. Only 20% of top
management positions in the U.S.
are held by women.
– CNNmoney.com, May 2009


and:
“Women who adopt a
masculine, ‘alpha-female’
approach in the ofﬁce
earn more [and get
promoted more] than
than their more passive
female colleagues.”
– Businessweek, July 2010


by the way:
“When women bully,
they choose fellow
women as targets
71% of the time.”
– Workplace Bullying
Institute (quoted by
Time.com)


“the
feminization
of leadership”


overcoming the
“credibility gap”


the little girl

the strong woman

the psycho bit**

poll: where are you?

• just right

• always needs to win • never needs to win
• doesn’t listen • only listens
• doesn’t trust • too trusting
• loud • quiet
• talks very fast • talks very slowly


Communicate Powerfully
(Without Being A Bit**)


1. develop self-awareness


Look Act

Sound Speak

Words Attitude

Space Tempo


2. how you look


what do you
notice?


3. what you say
(& how you say it)


do you ask for
permission to
speak up?
Can I ask a question?

I just want to add one thing

Would you mind if I said
something?

I have an idea I’d like to
share, if you don’t mind

May I add something?

“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment...
“present...” “The Secret...”
“The Law of Attraction”

lose the
“psychobabble”
rambling & “I feeeeel...”
nervous chatter

“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius and... and... and...
(giggle)”


delete verbal ﬁller
instead of: try:

“um” ...pausing
“you know” ...rhetorical question
“ahhh” ...dramatic pause
“like” ...drop altogether


not effective
blames you for issues
leadership (it’s
that aren’t yours
not about you)

often leads to
“psychobabble”
(i.e., “feel,”
“think,” “believe”)
“I” childish

takes focus off the facts
* How To Say It For Women
Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.

“you”

“feel”

only
just
you know
really
in my opinion
sort of
kind of
apparently
I’m not an expert, but
I may not be qualified, but
but
maybe
I guess

“the job is too complex for the time given”
_________time __complete______
_____have enough ___ to ______ that job”
“I don’t
“nice job on closing that deal”
__like the___________that ____
“I _____ way you closed ___ deal”

“who was supposed to clean up?”
_____ ofﬁce wasn’t cleaned __
_______that the_______________up”
“I noticed

“our team will do a great job on this project”
________about _________
“I feel good ____ this project”

* How To Say It For Women
Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.

volume, tone,
tempo & inﬂection


which is preferable?

lower higher
slower vs faster
louder softer


4. sarcasm & other
passive-aggressive behavior


“Everything is great.
“Thanks for doing such a Just perfect.”
great job. Really, thanks.

“It’s not like you do anything
anyways.”

“Whatever you
say.”


the
fake smile...
(the real one too)

•we often use to “soften”
•men can’t read well
•smiling when angry
•passive aggressive

• be solution-oriented
• address sarcasm straight-up “was
that meant to be sarcastic?”
• ask for alternate behavior
• use active listening to uncover the
real issue (ask!)
• talk about that (honestly)

5. exuding conﬁdence


Self-
esteem


Humility
Modesty
Shyness
Bashfulness
Constraint
Coyness
Demureness
Difﬁdence
Humbleness vs.
Inhibition
Innocense
Meekness
Lack of pretension
Purity
Quietness
Reserve
Self-effacement
Timidity

How do you
respond to
compliments?

what will you work on to
communicate more powerfully
(without being a you-know-what)?


for more...
www.MichelleVillalobos.com
Call Jessica Lurie
(888) 531-3830
jessica@mivistainc.com

Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved.
To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.

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Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber

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Communicate More Powerfully (Without Being A Bit**) - Michelle Villalobos Presentation to Coral Gables Chamber