1. A
Giant
Fish
and
Tiny
Castle:
Fragments
of
Fairytales
Renee
Magritte,
Castle
of
the
Pyrenees
Source:
http://www.amorosart.com/

2. Water
rushes
in
through
my
nose,
searing
and
stinging
its
sides.
I
struggle
and
push
outwards
with
my
body
but
feel
its
full
force
push
me
sideways.
My
foot
sloshes
lightly
through
the
sand
and
I
pull
myself
together
and
push
up
towards
my
escape.
I
break
through
the
surface
and
can
taste
the
salt
in
my
mouth
as
I
gasp
for
air.
My
eyes
sting
as
I
examine
the
blurry
haze
around
me,
I
can
just
make
out
the
growing
white-­‐lipped
creature
moving
swiftly
towards
me.
I
take
a
painful
breath
and
brace
myself
helplessly.
The
arches
reach
away
from
me,
peaking
in
the
centre
of
the
cathedral-­‐style
roof,
the
brown
polished
wood
gleaming
around
me
as
I
follow
its
intricate
patterns
towards
the
dark
fireplace.
Despite
it
being
still
and
lifeless
I
can
feel
its
warmth
resonating
still,
the
warmth
that
radiated
from
this
house,
my
home.
I
stretch
my
body
out
on
the
cream
suede,
its
moulded
cushions
shaping
around
my
familiar
contours
and
creating
a
nest
in
which
my
body
fits
comfortably.
Outside
the
yard
stretches
away
from
me
and
towards
the
paddock
fence,
the
land
brown
and
withered
from
the
sun’s
heat.
It
hits
me
and
I
feel
the
strength
in
my
body
immediately
taken
from
me.
I
struggle
for
a
moment
before
conceding
that
there
is
little
point
and
allow
the
waves
to
beat
me
mercilessly.
I
feel
the
force
of
another
wave
crashing
on
top
of
me,
spinning
me
around
until
the
last
of
my
orientation
has
slipped
away.
I
feel
the
panic
of
claustrophobia
building
in
my
chest
and
swallow
the
thickly-­‐laden
salt
water
which
clogs
my
throat
and
destroys
the
last
of
my
air
supply.
I
break
the
surface
and
gasp,
panicked.
The
water
vibrates
all
around
me,
as
I
see
it
for
the
first
time,
the
giant
rock
island
resting
commandingly
in
the
water,
a
tiny
castle
carved
into
its
distant
shape.
A
dark
figure
slithers
through
the
water
in
front
of
me
as
if
challenging
me
to
turn
back
but
I
push
forward
towards
this
fairytale
shape.
My
fingers
scratch
on
each
other
as
I
stretch
out
my
fists,
rough
like
the
textures
of
the
bricks
supporting
our
home.
The
air
smells
burnt,
reminding
me
of
the
harshness
of
this
climate
and
the
dangers
that
go
with
living
in
the
bush.
As
I
descend
down
the
rocky
slope
our
old
cubby
house
emerges
out
of
the
bush
to
the
left.
It
rests
half
broken
and
full
of
termites
as
moments
flash
by
in
my
memory
of
my
brother
and
me
playing
atop
our
fortress.
I
touch
the
smooth
bark
of
the
old
gum
tree
supporting
its
frame
and
feel
the
etchings
left
in
its
skin
by
our
games,
a
memory
engraved
nearly
forever.

3. As
I
break
the
surface
I
feel
the
determination
build
in
my
limbs
to
escape
this
punishment,
the
bullying
of
the
sea
which
is
unlikely
to
end.
I
look
ahead
to
the
castle
so
peacefully
waiting
for
my
arrival
and
my
body
is
drawn
towards
it
helplessly.
A
huge
green
and
black
scaled
fish
leaps
out
of
the
water
to
my
side,
snapping
his
jaws
at
me
as
I
watch
in
fright.
Sucking
air
in
through
my
mouth
I
feel
the
harsh
dry
of
my
worn
throat
but
force
the
air
down
into
my
lungs.
With
all
the
strength
I
can
manage
I
kick
my
legs
out
behind
me
and
swim
towards
my
challenger,
bringing
the
white-­‐lipped
monster
closer
to
me
as
I
pull
myself
together.
The
water
turns
purple-­‐black
and
cold
as
my
predatory
prepares
to
pounce,
his
fangs
exposed.
Her
eyes
are
fire
as
her
cold
tone
cuts
through
me,
“you
think
you’re
such
a
good
person,
well
you’re
not.”
I
feel
the
bitterness
of
her
words
thicken
the
air.
Fire
incinerates
my
brain
into
a
furious
hole;
empty
of
any
rational
thought
it
seers
and
stings
my
insides.
I
feel
the
anger
welling
up
within
my
muscles,
already
distorting
and
flexing.
I
feel
it
building
in
my
chest
now,
shaking
in
tremors
that
threaten
to
burst
me
open
from
the
inside.
Her
face
remains
smug
and
distant
and
it
throws
petrol
on
the
already
building
flame.
My
mouth
releases
an
incomprehensible
scream
and
my
brain
will
not
work
as
my
physical
instincts
begin
to
take
control.
She
calls
herself
a
mother?
The
words
trail
through
my
mind
slowly
and
heavily.
I
recall
the
conversation,
searching
for
the
trigger
for
such
cruelty
but
the
broken
words
of
my
own
drift
through
my
mind,
do
you
know
how
much
it
has
hurt
me
that
you
are
practically
kicking
me
out
of
my
home?
Her
face
is
a
statue,
no
hint
of
sadness
or
remorse
in
its
angular
features.
My
heart
feels
like
a
dead
weight
stuck
deep
inside
of
me
as
I
wonder
if
the
pain
will
ever
end,
if
these
broken
parts
of
myself
will
ever
feel
whole
again.
As
I
place
my
arms
out
in
front
of
me
and
push
myself
forward
and
deep
into
the
heart
of
my
predator
as
I
feel
it
crashing
over
me.
The
great
monster
grabs
me,
a
sharp
claw
upon
my
leg
and
drags
me
backwards.
I
kick
my
attacker
off
and
push
forward
to
the
surface,
preparing
myself
for
the
next
onslaught.
I
feel
something
slippery
tickle
my
foot
and
I
wonder
what
is
following
me.
I
have
no
time
to
think
about
it
as
I
push
forward
determination
filling
my
chest
with
air
as
desperation
begins
to
lick
at
my
sides,
or
is
it
the
tongue
of
a
friend
or
foe?
As
the
grass
tickles
the
side
of
my
face
and
I
close
my
eyes
my
favourite
place
spreads
out
in
front
of
me.
The
rough
and
textured
ground
stretches
out
beneath
us
and
towards
a
distant
sun.
He
beats
his
friendly
face
upon
us,
warming
my
skin
as
I
lean
forward
and
push
on,
my
hair
curling
around
my
painted
face.
I
feel
Keepa’s
stride
lengthen
beneath
me,
changing
from
the
four
beats
of
his
gentle
canter
to
the
three
beats
of
his
long
galloping
stride.
Ahead
is
a
large

4. rock
formation
that
rises
up
towards
the
sky
before
dropping
off
to
the
level
ground
and
we
line
it
up
eagerly.
We
press
on,
Keepa’s
strong
legs
always
fierce
and
stable
beneath
us.
My
bare
legs
hold
tight
against
the
fur
of
his
sides,
his
flanks
defined
in
muscle
as
he
retracts
then
leaps
from
the
rocky
edge.
For
a
moment
I
feel
the
sensation
of
flying,
my
hands
clutched
in
his
mane,
before
he
lands
safely
with
a
gentle
thud
on
the
hardened
ground.
I
lie
into
Keepa’s
neck,
my
legs
relaxed
at
his
sides
as
we
move
slowly
now
across
the
barren
landscape,
a
sense
of
harmony
and
belonging
bringing
us
together
in
this
moment
with
my
closest
and
most
trustworthy
friend.
Far
in
the
distance
I
hear
the
call
of
my
tribe,
echoing
through
the
open
passage
and
together
we
push
on.
My
mind
continues
to
drift
beyond
its
physical
barriers
and
towards
this
place
in
which
I
am
so
much
at
ease.
As
I
pull
my
body
high
out
of
the
churning
water
I
feel
the
settled
calm
of
the
open
ocean
and
watch
the
waves
roll
back
towards
the
sandy
beach,
warm
and
still
in
the
distance.
The
beach
looks
so
far
away
now
that
I
wonder
if
I
can
make
it
back.
I
rest
for
a
moment,
lying
on
my
back
as
I
allow
the
ocean
to
move
with
me,
drifting
me
so
slightly
on
its
warm
surface
as
it
gently
laps
at
my
face,
the
sun
warming
my
nose.
The
water
carries
me
towards
the
stone
castle
and
I
finally
feel
at
ease,
despite
the
shadow
of
the
giant
fish
circling
beneath
me.
I
drift
further
away
from
the
shore
and
the
sadness
and
pain
it
radiates,
while
the
certainty
of
my
pursuit
suddenly
shifts
from
my
body
as
it
goes
cold
and
the
world
spins.
The
stillness
of
the
moment
allows
me
to
feel
calm
and
centred.
Michael’s
bare
chest
is
warm
against
my
body,
my
rosy
cheek
resting
against
the
steady
beat
of
his
heart.
His
breathing
is
deep
and
easy
as
he
sleeps
and
I
close
my
eyes,
willing
this
moment
to
remain
forever,
to
forget
my
physical
necessities
that
will
eventually
interrupt.
I
wait
for
sleep
and
dreams
and
wonder
to
surround
me
in
this
moment
of
content.
My
mind
keeps
me
awake,
refusing
to
cooperate
as
it
trawls
through
the
last
few
days.
I
feel
the
uncertainty
and
confusion
that
comes
with
imperfection
in
a
world
in
which
losing
seems
unavoidable.
I
squirm
uneasily
as
I
crave
the
simplicity
of
this
moment
to
fill
me
up,
to
be
home
to
me
at
a
time
when
physical
spaces
are
not
enough.
The
ocean
continues
to
take
me,
drifting
slowly
towards
the
gradually
setting
sun
and
the
castle
on
the
horizon.
The
green
fish
circles
threateningly.
Although
the
feeling
of
the
warm
water
massaging
my
limbs
in
its
gentle
lapping
motion
is
pleasant,
the
presence
of
my
follower
unsettles
me
and
causes
my
body
to
tense.
I
feel
myself
sink
a
little
as
I
jerk
uneasily
at
this
thought.
I
splutter
and
sit
up,
kicking
my
legs
beneath
me
as
I
clear
the
salt
from
my
sore

5. throat.
The
world
spins
in
flashes.
My
eyes
water
as
I
look
back
to
the
hazy
shore,
so
far
away.
I
look
towards
the
giant
rock
island
as
it
seems
to
grow
higher
out
of
the
ocean
and
I
feel
its
natural
pull
urge
me
forward.
I
feel
the
burning
of
my
tired
limbs
spread
through
my
body
and
I
know
I
must
act
quickly
as
the
situation
grows
worse
and
the
future
and
my
predator
start
to
loom.
I
place
my
hands
along
his
strong
cheekbones
and
he
burries
his
head
into
my
chest,
this
large
powerful
creature
yielding
in
the
hands
of
his
friend.
I
brush
my
hand
along
the
soft
fur
and
down
to
the
silky
skin
of
Leon’s
muzzle,
prickled
with
long
hairs.
I
stroke
the
softest
skin
of
all,
that
just
above
his
nostrils
and
he
burries
his
head
deeper
into
my
chest
in
a
moment
of
serenity.
I
feel
my
childish
rant
building
up
inside
of
me,
the
part
that
hates
the
world
for
all
its
cruelty
and
pain
and
wishes
will
power
alone
was
enough.
I
will
the
last
few
weeks
to
disappear
and
the
irreversible
news
it
has
brought,
the
decision
which
I
continue
to
avoid
but
which
I
know
I
cannot
outrun,
which
he
cannot
outrun.
His
ears
drift
back
into
a
lazy
notion
as
his
eyes
close
against
my
chest
and
I
know
this
is
my
most
loyal
friend.
Years
he
has
been
with
me
and
he
is
always
there,
always
waiting
and
happy
to
see
my
face.
Unlike
my
humans
friends
horses
don’t
change,
they
don’t
find
better
things
to
do
or
cooler
people
to
be
around,
they
live
a
simple
and
content
life,
one
which
I
can
only
glimpse
in
moments
like
these,
looking
into
the
serene
brown
and
black
pools
of
his
eyes.
I
feel
the
water
shift
as
I
swim
gradually
nearer
to
the
growing
grey
island.
The
ocean
is
warmer
as
I
feel
the
gentle
touch
of
a
hand
pulling
forward
my
tired
and
weary
form.
Her
hair
is
short
and
blonde,
much
like
my
mother’s,
but
she
moves
too
swiftly
against
the
heavy
water.
I
can
no
longer
see
the
giant
green
fish
and
am
happy
at
this
thought.
As
we
grow
near
the
island
rock
begins
to
grow,
rising
higher
and
higher
out
of
the
water.
I
feel
as
if
I
am
drifting
painlessly
as
the
water
parts
in
welcome
for
us.
The
giant
rock
island
now
resembles
an
oversized
boulder
as
the
water
seems
to
drop
away
from
its
base
and
into
the
air.
It
is
difficult
to
keep
up
as
I
seem
to
switch
between
floating
and
drowning
and
it
feels
reminiscent
of
viewing
the
still
shots
of
a
camera.
We
stack
the
boxes
into
the
waiting
truck
as
the
magic
of
my
home
begins
to
be
lost.
Bare
of
its
possessions
the
house
is
about
to
be
reclaimed
and
my
memories,
my
childhood
self
is
already
starting
to
slip
away.
Without
the
objects
to
which
it
is
tied
how
can
I
trust
my
memory
to
hold
onto
these
moments,
to
my
identity
as
it
has
developed
up
until
now.
As
we
move
away
from
this
most
comfortable
place
we
must
each
find
a
new
place
where
we
belong,
a
new
place
to

6. call
home.
I
prepare
to
drive
back
to
my
house
as
my
parents
begin
their
journey
towards
their
own
while
the
feeling
of
loss
is
unmistakable.
Darkness
surrounds
me
as
the
water
feels
cold
and
icy.
The
sun’s
light
just
peeks
around
the
edge
of
the
giant
boulder
as
it
now
hovers
so
many
metres
above
me,
still
rising,
so
that
I
can
no
longer
see
its
tiny
castle.
The
faceless
woman
is
gone
and
I
am
now
alone
except
for
the
green
fanged
fish
which
now
circles
below.
I
look
back
towards
the
shore,
barely
visible
in
the
distance
as
my
tired
body
no
longer
fights
with
the
ocean
which
now
rocks
me
thoughtlessly.
I
feel
as
if
I
am
falling,
pulled
downwards
into
unconsciousness,
into
the
darkness,
weightlessness
in
my
stomach.
My
body
jerks
awake.
Sitting
alone
under
the
cool
tree
I
look
around
with
blurry
eyes.
I
look
down
at
my
page
the
lines
smudged
from
the
tears
that
again
begin
to
spill.
I
flick
through
the
pages
of
happy
and
painful
memories
and
my
castle
and
monster-­‐filled
dreams
but
my
reality
confronts
me
like
that
white-­‐lipped
monster
as
I
try
to
hold
back
my
sad-­‐filled
rage.
Recalling
the
now
stuck
together
pages
I
begin
to
write,
my
handwriting
a
messy
scrawl.
Our
house
sits
empty
as
the
bushland
shivers
sadly
in
the
wind.
My
mother
whimpers
as
Michael
holds
tight
my
cold
hand.
The
wind
whips
my
dark
hair
from
my
painted
face,
as
Keepa
drops
his
head
in
this
weighted
and
final
embrace.
The
vet
takes
Leon’s
lead
and
his
face
is
drawn
away
from
mine
as
my
body
breaks
at
the
thought
that
this
is
the
end.
I’ve
made
the
decision
which
really
had
no
alternatives
at
all,
my
best
friend
must
die
and
a
murderer
I
must
be.
In
this
moment
of
pain
my
decision
is
made,
I
will
not
ride
again.
I
want
nothing
more
than
to
run
away,
to
a
distant
castle
where
I
cannot
be
found
but
nightmares
lurk
in
this
distant
place
and
an
escape
cannot
be
found.
My
home
has
been
lost
and
now
I
have
lost
the
only
place
where
I
belong,
joined
in
a
sprint
against
the
wind
with
my
closest
and
most
trustworthy
friend.
I
sob
uncontrollably,
my
body
collapsing
into
the
harsh
bark
of
the
tree.

7.
It
is
easy
to
dream
while
the
lights
shine
bright
but
it
is
in
the
darkness
of
the
night
and
the
depth
of
the
ocean
that
we
may
find
everything
within
ourselves
and
the
world
with
which
we
must
fight.