Short writing should be the best writing in your book. Create strong captions, and your readers will appreciate the effort you put in.

1. Writing Captions
that Captivate
Lizabeth A. Walsh, MJE

2. Worth a 1,000 words…
oh no, they’re not!
Photographs are worth so much more than that
Photographs represent:
The events that happened
The people who attended them
The action they capture
The reactions to what happened
The emotions associated with them
The history of the school and the community
The memories of the year

3. Okay,
you’ve guilted me into it
 What structures can I use to caption?
 Identification (Who?)
 Explanation (Who is doing what?)
 Detailed (When, where, why, or how?)
 Storytelling (Let the picture talk)

4. Identification
 When you’re trying to get more people into
the book, you’re going to have many
smaller photos with less design space for
large captions.
 Find a place for telling us who those people
are, and do it consistently.

6. Explanation
 Tellthe reader who is doing what in a
single sentence.
 Use present tense to capture the “action.”
 Don’t even think about writing a “duh
factor” caption.
 Sophomore Susie Smith smiles for the camera.
 Really? We had no idea what she was doing. Thanks,
pal. We were lost without your brilliant explanation.

8. Detailed
 Providethe 5 Ws and H for the
photograph, giving readers context and
providing historical value.
 Use one present tense sentence for the
action (Explanation portion) and another
in past tense for the remaining details.
 Why mix tenses? The present tense captures
action, and the past provides information about
an event that has clearly already happened.

9. CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support Sophomores Tricia Keane, Helen Lanning, Liz Grabo CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from both
Trainers Emily Grady, senior; and Sam Grabo, junior; running back Lawrence Nichols, senior
from both the school and the community, the
football team rallied from a 20 point deficit to
defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference
the school and the community, the football team rallied from
championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought
to their feet when injured running back Lawrence
a 20 point deficit to defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference
Nichols returned to the game after pulling the a
calf muscle in the opening minutes of the second
championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought to their feet
half.
when injured running back Lawrence Nichols returned to the
game after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening minutes of
the second half.
Dance team juniors
2006 Pioneer Conference Champions

10. Storytelling
 All
of the above parts of the detailed
caption
 PLUS
A quote from an interview about the event
 Now, the picture talks- it’s like turning up the
sound and hearing the audio to match the video.

11. CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from
both the school and the community, the football team
rallied from a 20 point deficit to defeat Fairview 28-27 in CONFERENCE CHAMPS. With unprecedented support from both the
school and the community, the football team rallied from a 20
the conference championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were
brought to their feet when injured running back Lawrence
Nichols returned to the game after pulling the a calf
muscle in the opening minutes of the second half. “When
we were presented the championship trophy, all I could
Sophomores Tricia Keane, Helen Lanning, Liz Grabo point deficit to defeat Fairview 28-27 in the conference
Trainers Emily Grady, senior; and Sam Grabo, junior; running back Lawrence Nichols, senior
think of was the speech that Jon Germuska gave in the
locker room at half-time. He talked about believing in
ourselves. After all the setbacks as a result of injuries, we
championship game on Nov. 3. Fans were brought to their feet
showed that we are a team that has character. We had
another chance to prove that we are a team that never
backs down and never gives up. It was awesome to come
when injured running back Lawrence Nichols returned to the game
from behind and beat Fairview,” said kicker Jonah Martin,
senior.
after pulling the a calf muscle in the opening minutes of the
second half. “When we were presented the championship trophy,
all I could think of was the speech that Jon Germuska gave in
the locker room at half-time. He talked about believing in
ourselves. After all the setbacks as a result of injuries, we showed
that we are a team that has character. We had another chance
to prove that we are a team that never backs down and never
gives up. It was awesome to come from behind and beat
Fairview,” kicker Jonah Martin, senior, said.
Dance team juniors
2006 Pioneer Conference Champions

12. Start by headlining it
(aka Lead-in)
 Should be clever
 Go beyond the expected
 Have a clear visual-verbal connection
 Remember to design your spread to
accommodate whatever types of captions
you’re writing.

13. Practice
 List
words or
phrases that come to
mind
 Think of something
clever- not just
“Hey, look at that
kid in the glasses!”

14. So now that I know what they are,
how do I create them?
 Follow the A-B-C method
 Action Lead
 Basic Information
 Complementary Information

15. A — Action Lead-In B — Basic Information C — Complementary
Information

16. Practice Time
Who: Seniors Amy Antal
and Josh Fouse
What: Amy paints Josh’s
face in blue and gold at
the “Rally in the Alley.”
Where: The “Rally in the
Alley” started in 2003
and was held at a
senior’s home. The
entire school was invited
to a barbeque before
each home game.
When: The picture was
taken before the first
home football game of
the season against the
Canon MacMillan, “Big
Macs.”
Detail: The final score
was 33-14.

17. Fine tune your writing
 Make each caption begin in a different
way. Variety is spicy.
 Re-writeyour caption using each of the
following grammatical approaches:
 Adjective, adverb, infinitive,
preposition, verbal, causal, and
conditional

18. Adjective - Real crowd pleasers, the drum line performs “Martian
Mambo” before the Westlake game.
Adverb - Colorfully dressed as aliens, the drum line performs “Martian
Mambo” before the Westlake game.
Infinitive - To engage the crowd before the Westlake game, the drum line
performs “Martian Mambo” in alien attire.
Prepositional - Before the Westlake game, the drum line performs “Martian
Mambo” in alien attire.
Verbal (Present Participle) - Playing the “Martian Mambo,” the drum
line, dressed in alien attire, warms up the pre-game crowd.
Verbal (Past Participle) - Dressed as aliens, the drum line performs
“Martian Mambo” before the Westlake game.
Causal - Since the half-time show had a Star Wars theme, the drum line
previewed the performance for the pre-game crowd with the
“Martian Mambo.”
Conditional - If the drum line performed their pre-game warm-up in
alien attire, the Band Boosters promised the percussionists five extra
large pizzas.

19. Now add
the remaining details
 Why: The number 44 on Amy’s face was to support her
friend, senior running back and linebacker, Tyler Beitel.
 How: Students painted up, cooked dogs and burgers, and
listened to student rock bands.
 The tradition has moved several times. This particular
picture was taken at senior Angelea Kuruc’s
grandmother’s house, the location of this year’s “Rally in
the Alley.”
 Quote from Antal: “The worst part was when the paint
dried and cracked all over everyone’s skin. It really hurt.”

20. Now mix things up
 How about just an identification & quote?
 Could we just use the quote and explain a
bit afterwards to give it context?
 How about moving the quote up in the
caption and moving some details down?

21. Revise & Proof for Quality
 Check all name spellings
 Verify quoted material is accurate
 Remove any non-specific pronouns - many,
some, a few
 Make sure that you read the entire spread-
only one caption per spread may use a
particular lead sentence style

22. More Quality Concerns

23. More Quality Concerns
 Consider retaining the spelled out class descriptions
(freshman, sophomore, junior, senior) because it
doesn’t interrupt eye flow for the reader.
 Retain subject-verb order in attributions
 “I like pie,” sophomore Susie Smith said.
 Consider embedding attribution within longer
quotes, so everything doesn’t end in said.
 “I like pie because it’s so yummy,” sophomore
Susie Smith said. “My favorite is cherry, but really,
I’ll eat almost any flavor.”

24. All materials presented…
 Remain the property and copyright of the various
owners of the original works.
 These yearbook samples were presented at BALFOUR
workshops for the benefit of their clients and
customers.
 Please do not alter these presentations.
 Use of these shows is intended only for individual
adviser-to-staff classroom teaching, not for publication
or reproduction in any form for any type of
presentation at a conference, camp, convention, or
gathering of multiple schools’ staffs.