You’ve been betrayed, but you want to forgive. How to forgive a spouse for cheating?

1. How to forgive a spouse for
cheating
Is it Possible to Forgive and Forget?
By Lisa Penn

2. • You’ve been betrayed. The person that's
supposed to be your best friend, the one
you trusted most, has lied to you, cheated
on you and shattered your life as you
know it - leaving you angry, shocked,
afraid and with no self confidence what so
ever.

3. • It's a horrible feeling. The foundation of
your marriage – fidelity and trust – is
now broken. This is probably the biggest
crisis that a relationship can go through.

4. • But you have decided you want to save
your relationship and move on with your
life. You only have one problem: You do
not think you are able to forgive your
spouse.

5. How to forgive a spouse for cheating? •
The pain is too deep. You can't trust him
any more and you don't know if he will do
it again. You know you won't be able to go
through something like this ever again. But
if you don't forgive – it will be very hard to
.rebuild your relationship

6. Do You Feel You Just Want
Things to Go Back The Way They
?Were
• Most of us do. We just want our
relationship to go back to the way it was
before the betrayal. But why would you?
The way it was is exactly what has led you
to the kind of pain you are going through
right now!
• Going back to the way it used to be –
won't solve your problems.

7. • There is a different path to take – you
can try to make your relationship BETTER
than it was before. But that means you
have to forgive.

8. How to Forgive a Spouse for
Cheating
• You probably realize by now that you can't
just "decide" to forgive. It doesn't work.
Forgiveness takes time and work if you
want it to be real and deep. The work
starts with step no. 1 – Acceptance.

9. Acceptance
• The work you have to do starts with
acceptance. Acceptance is the road you
take on your way to forgiving. Without this
critical first step it is very hard to achieve
real and sustaining forgiveness. It will
allow you to cope with your anger,
anxiety and help you rebuild the trust
again.

10. ?What does Acceptance mean
• It means to accept the terrible events that
happened to your relationship. It's not
something to take for granted – a betrayed
person can spend most of his time
shocked. You feel amazed that this thing
happened to you and how did it happen
behind your back when you were certain
that everything is o.k.

11. • You have to get past the initial denial.
You can't undo this reality. You can't go
back to what used to be – and if you are
honest with yourself – you know that
things weren't so great.

12. • Accepting means realizing that
forgiveness will not happen in a day, or
a week, or even a month. Take that
pressure off yourself. These awful feelings
will not disappear in a day. Accept that
and don't try to ignore it or "just get over
it". It will only make things worse.

13. ?What to Do After Acceptance
• When you really accept your situation you
are saying to your self - “I don’t like what
happened. I don’t like the feeling the way I
do but I am willing to tolerate it so I can
move on and work on a better relationship
than ever.

14. • Once you are able to do that, you will be
able to move forward to the next steps -
work through your anger, get rid of
obsessive images and negative thoughts,
and even rebuild the trust back to your
relationship.

15. -http://how-to-savemarriage.org
• You can find these next steps in a FREE
e-mail course by Dr. Frank Gunzburg –
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