Conflict resolution

Conflict Resolution

7/15/2012 © - 2012 , Visit us @ www.learningquotient.in 1

Guidelines

• Openness

• Willingness to share one’s experience

• Willingness to Learn

• Respecting views of others

• Agree to disagree

• Keeping mobile menace at Bay


Definition

• What is a Conflict?

Conflict is a natural disagreement resulting from individuals or
groups that differ in attitudes, beliefs, values or needs. It can also
originate from past rivalries and personality differences.


Definition

• What is Conflict?

• A struggle between two or more forces,
positions, or actions.


Some Questions for Discussion

• Can we live without a conflict?
• Can we resolve conflict?
• Is there an absolute solution to the conflict?
• Would this world be a better place without a
conflict?


Learning Agenda

• Understanding Conflict
• Causes of Conflict
• Reactions to Conflict
• Conflict resolution Styles
• What is your style of conflict Resolution?
• Ideal style of Conflict Resolution


Definition

• What is Conflict?
• A natural disagreement resulting from individuals
or groups that differ in attitudes, beliefs, values or
needs. It can also originate from past rivalries and
personality differences.
• Conflict is a struggle between two or more forces,
positions, or actions.


Reactions to Conflicts

• It is in your body

– In your head with a headache
– In your stomach with acid
– In your back with lower back pain
– In your hands by biting your nails



• It is in your words

– I’m pulling out my hair
– She is so stiff necked
– I just want to close my eyes
– I can’t take it anymore



• It is in your language & behavior
– Defensive “You just don’t understand” “yes, but”
– Fighting “I will see to it” “I will take it up” a revenge
– Language “……..”
– Extremes of being angry or too calm
– Divert “we don’t go there”
– Cry
– Use authority
– Give in and say “You are right”
– Try to smoothen


What happens when
Conflict is Unresolved


Debate

• Are conflicts good or bad


Conflict Cycle

Reflection Anticipation
Philosopher Turtle

Settlement Wait & See
Dove Hawk

Application Growing
Alchemist Mushroom

In the Open
7/15/2012 © - 2012 , Visit us @ www.learningquotient.in
The Duelers 13

Causes of Conflicts

• Unmet Needs and Wants
• Values
• Perceptions
• Knowledge
• Assumptions
• Expectations
• Growing up Differently


Causes of Conflict

Needs and Wants are unmet

– Needs are things that are essential to our well-being. They
happen when peoples basic needs for recognition, affection,
and affiliation are not met.
– When unwell, tired, hungry, over-stressed
– Conflicts arise when we ignore others' needs, our own
needs or the group's needs. Don’t confuse needs with
desires (things we would like, but are not essential).


Prevent Conflict arising out of
your unmet needs

– Become more aware of your unmet Needs and wants.
– Try to obtain what you need immediately like food, a
break, exercise, or sleep
– Ask for feedback, for a day-off because what you don’t ask,
you won’t get


Causes of Conflict

Values
– Values are beliefs or principles we consider to be very
important.
– Serious conflicts arise when people hold incompatible
values or when values are not clear.
– A belief becomes a value when you are comfortable telling
it to anybody
e.g. Use of Time, Money; hard work; friendship; privacy; health, charity;
safety; integrity, honesty


Preventing Conflicts
arising out of values

Values
– You can avoid conflicts if you are clear on your values
and those held by others
– Take time to learn about other’s core values
– Look for common values in among your coworkers
– Be accepting of what people say
– Remember you cannot change beliefs of people, they
only change with their experience


Causes of Conflict

Perceptions
– People interpret reality differently. They perceive
differences in the severity, causes and
consequences of problems. Misperceptions or
differing perceptions may come from: self-
perceptions, others' perceptions, differing
perceptions of situations and perceptions of threat.


Video

• Perceptions & Values
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jM1xYvxW7k


Causes of Conflict

Power
– How people define and use power is an important
influence on the number and types of conflicts that occur.
This also influences how conflict is managed. Conflicts can
arise when people try to make others change their actions
or to gain an unfair advantage.


Causes of Conflict

Expectations
– We naturally hold expectation for ourselves and others
– Conflict occurs when there is a mismatch of
expectations
– When we do not clarify expectations and review them
periodically
e.g. Team Manager expects all the employees to wear formal clothes
and the generations Xers who do not want to wear suits and ties.


Preventing Conflicts
arising out of expectations

Expectations

– An exercise: start listing the expectations that you think each
of the following people
• You immediate boss
• Your colleagues
• You immediate reportees etc.,
– Write down your expectations for yourself
– Identify what is easy and what is difficult for you
– Clarify with your manager, colleagues, family members etc.,


Causes of Conflict

Growing up Differently

– We all grew up differently based on our race, ethnicity,
gender and even our age.
– We get into conflicts with once another if we come from
different worlds and we tend to misunderstand our
actions, judge, and create distance between us


Causes of Conflict

Feelings and emotions

– Many people let their feelings and emotions become a
major influence over how they deal with conflict. Conflicts
can also occur because people ignore their own or others'
feelings and emotions. Other conflicts occur when feelings
and emotions differ over a particular issue.


The Five Styles of
Conflict Resolution

• Accommodation, ignores self
• Avoiding, ignores me, you, context-- “super-rational”
ignores all four elements
• Competition, ignores others
• Compromise is “close” (each gives up something,
gains something)
• Collaboration, counts or considers me, you, context
and topic


Behavior in Conflicts


Conflict Resolution Styles

High Competing Collaborative
Importance

G
O
A
L
S Compromising

Low
Importance
Avoiding Accommodation
High
RELATIONSHIPS Importance


Accommodation Style

• The relationship is of great importance while their own goals are of
little importance.
• Teddies want to be accepted and liked by other people.
• They think that conflict should be avoided in favour of harmony and
that people cannot discuss conflicts without damaging
relationships.
• They are afraid that if a conflict continues, someone will get hurt
and that could ruin the relationship.
• They give up their goals to preserve the relationship.
• They like to smooth things over.


Accommodation Style

Qualities
• Good at Creating Trust and Encouraging Dialogue
• Participative work style is important to Deliver Value To
Others without Concern about Personal Needs
• Good Assessment Skills

Belief
• Participation creates success


Avoiding Style

• Withdraw into their shells to avoid conflicts.
• They give up their personal goals and relationships.
• They stay away from the issues over which the conflict is taking
place and from the persons they are in conflict with.
• They believe it is hopeless to try and resolve conflicts. They
feel helpless.
• They believe it is easier to withdraw (physically and
psychologically) from a conflict than to face it.


Avoiding Style

Qualities

• Good Support Staff for More Competitive Personalities;
• Understand Responsibilities and Very Reliable;
• Loyal to the Agenda of a Client, Customer, Superior or
Institution

Belief
• Just Want To Do My Job


Competing Style

• They try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their
solutions to the conflict.
• Their goals are highly important to them and relationships of minor
importance.
• They seek to achieve their goals at all costs.
• They do not care if others like or accept them and assume that
conflicts are either won or lost and they want to be the winner.
• This gives them a sense of pride and achievement.
• Losing gives them a sense of weakness, inadequacy and failure.
• They try and win by attacking, overpowering, overwhelming and
intimidating others.


Competing Style

Qualities

• Central Authority and In Charge of Discipline
• Strict adherence to goals
• Exudes internal confidence and creates a following of faith

Belief
• There can be only one boss


Compromising Style

• They moderately are concerned with their own goals and their
relationships with others.
• They give up part of their own goals and persuade others in a conflict
to give up part of theirs.
• They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain something - the
middle ground between two extreme positions.
• They compromise; they will give up a part of their goal and
relationship in order to find agreement for the common good.


Compromising Style

Qualities
– Articulate
– Highly Perceptive
– Well organized in Process Skills
– Creates an Atmosphere of Trust and Accomplishment of Task

Belief
– Outcome needs to occur with fairness


Collaborative Style

• They view conflicts as problems to be solved and seek a solution that
achieves both their own and the other person's goals.
• They see conflicts as a means of improving relationships by reducing
tension between two people.
• They try to begin a discussion that identifies the conflict as a problem
to be solved.
• By seeking solutions that satisfy everyone, they maintain the
relationship.
• They are not happy until a solution is found that both satisfies
everyone's goals and resolves the tensions and negative feelings that
may have been present.


Collaborative Style

Qualities
– Team Orientation
– Territorial around boundaries
– Need recognition for contributions
– Creative
– Self-Starters

Belief
– There is enough for everyone


What is your style of
Resolving Conflict


Video

• Four empowering beliefs about
conflict
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z
5u3UIP13bc


Summary

• A natural disagreement resulting from individuals or groups
that differ in attitudes, beliefs, values or needs. It can also
originate from past rivalries and personality differences.
• Unmet Needs and Wants, Values, Perceptions, Assumptions,
Expectations, Growing up Differently are some of the causes
of conflicts
• Accommodating, Avoiding, Competing, Compromising and
Collaborating are different styles of conflict resolution
• Collaborative (win-win) style is the idealistic style to resolve a
conflict, although others styles can be used depending the
situation.


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Conflict resolution

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