1. The Elegant Precision of
Targeted, Actionable Language
Lauren Therese-Grace Colton
@LaurenTGC
Information Architect & Editor
Gravity Works Design & Development
2. Project Management: do the makers understand
the business rules and project constraints?
Search Engine Optimization: can people find you?
Information Architecture: can people find
what they need?
Content Strategy: what conversation are you
having with current and potential clients?
Usability: can people meet their goals
efficiently, effectively, and with satisfaction?
3. Elegance
1. Engagement with ethnic rivalries and
religious beliefs.
2. Fair, transparent economic
development.
http://www.ted.com/talks/eric_berlow_how_complexity_leads_to_simplicity.html
4. Plain language
Communication your audience can understand
the first time they read or hear it.
Plain language is defined by results: it is easy to
read, understand, and use.
5. Plain language
“Write with a specific person in mind…I
pretend I’m talking to my sisters…though
highly intelligent, they are not experts in
accounting or finance. They will understand
plain English, but jargon may puzzle them.
My goal is simply to give them the information
I would wish them to supply me if our
positions were reversed.”
–Warren Buffet
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Speak to your audience
Avoid jargon
Give common words common meanings
Know which grammar rules matter
Be precise
Promote descriptions, demote exceptions
Don’t hide your verbs
Be actionable
Use visual aides
7. Speak to your audience
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Who is this conversation with?
What is the context?
What are your goals? Their goals?
Will goals be met with these words?
Let the recipient shape the dialogue.
8. Speak to your audience
The Parking Lot Test:
Visualize 3 users, not 100. Imagine stopping
them on the way to their car with your message.
Did you win them over, or dilute your message?
9. Speak to your audience
Who is this conversation with, and what is
the context? There is no “correct English,”
just different audiences and contexts.
Read more
www.PlainLanguage.gov
Gather your data
Parking Lot Test
10. Avoid jargon
Are these your words, or the words of
your audience?
• Unnecessarily-technical terms
• Legalese
• Marketing copy fads
11. Avoid jargon
The Mom Test:
1. List your assumptions on what these users
care about.
2. Write your copy based on those
assumptions.
3. Would your mom say this (or call your
shenanigans)?
4. If no, try again.
http://alistapart.com/article/being-real-builds-trust
12. Avoid jargon
Cloze Deletion Test:
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Find a sample text of 125 to 150 words.
Replace every fifth word with a blank space.
Ask participants to fill in the blanks.
Is (correct/blanks) greater than 60%?
13. Avoid jargon
Cloze Deletion Test:
Want ___ experts on your bookshelf? ___ Works
is sharing our ___ apps tips and tricks ___ the
book, Professional ___ Application
Development. We deliver ____, personalized,
powerful mobile ___ for our clients, and we're
___ our secrets.
14. Avoid jargon
If you need to point to a glossary or a technical
manual, your users are losing both interest and
meaning.
Read more
HBR Guide to Better Business
Writing, Bryan Garner
Gather your data
The Mom Test, Cloze Deletion Test
15. Common words, common meanings
If you must define terms, give them their
commonly-accepted meaning.
Check out the competition to see what words
are used, and how these words are used.
16. Common words, common meanings
Follow the Storytellers:
1. Start a story with general language.
2. Ask if user if this has happened to them.
3. Actively listen to user stories.
- Excessive talking?
- Distracted?
- Emotional?
18. Common words, common meanings
You can avoid jargon and still be using
different or unclear terms.
Check out the competition, and
Google Trends.
Gather your data
Follow the Storytellers
Read more
19. Know which grammar rules matter
Grammar is for the sake of clarity. Words should
flow as naturally as spoken language, without
non-standard language.
1. Read first-rate writing.
2. Ask colleagues to proof your work.
3. Consult grammar and usage guides.
20. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: Starting sentences with “and” and “but”
is just fine.
21. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: “If” is conditional, “whether” is not
conditional.
22. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: “That” is essential to the sentence,
“which” is not essential.
23. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: Sometimes, dropping the oxford comma
changes everything.
24. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: You can end on a preposition. (“Where are
you from?” is grammatically valid.)
25. Know which grammar rules matter
Fact: You can get it right, and still get it wrong.
26. Know which grammar rules matter
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Formula
0.39 (total words/total sentences) + 11.8
(total syllables/total words) - 15.59 =
Grade Level
(.73 = US 7th grade.)
27. Know which grammar rules matter
Learn common grammar myths, versus when
clarity is at stake.
Read more
Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips
for Better Writing, Mignon Fogarty
Gather your data
Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level Formula
28. Be precise
• Most-important message go at the top.
• Try writing out main points as sentences,
brainstorm, then cut in half.
• Avoid clutter with short sentences, and
short paragraphs.
• Aim for less than 20 words each sentence.
29. Be precise
The Great Read-Along:
1. Ask users to read copy out loud.
2. Note where they stumble.
3. Ask them to summarize the copy.
4. If they can’t summarize, rewrite.
30. Be precise
Maintain more-direct content by finding and
removing useless words.
On Writing Well, William Zinsser
Gather your data
The Great Read-Along
Read more
31. Promote descriptions, demote exceptions
Verb > Adjective > Noun > Exception
Clean the silver car, unless you enjoy the
smell of stale fries.
32. Promote descriptions, demote exceptions
Day-After Recall
1. Show a passage of text.
- Can be an informal email.
2. Next day, follow-up: can they summarize
the point?
33. Promote descriptions, demote exceptions
Be crisp and memorable by restructuring your
sentences.
Word Up, Marcia Riefer Johnston
Gather your data
Day-After Recall
Read more
34. Avoid hidden verbs
Don’t turn verbs into nouns.
Red flags: “to be” (such as am, is, was). As in,
“I was wanting…” destroys messages.
35. Avoid hidden verbs
The Passive Zombie Test:
She was caught [by zombies].
They caught [by zombies] her.
36. Avoid hidden verbs
Stop hiding your intended meaning behind
passive copy.
Word Up, Marcia Riefer Johnston
Gather your data
The Passive Zombie Test
Read more
37. Be actionable
Know the primary call to action for each
screen, and use a verb for that action.
• Web: within 400px
• Mobile: on screen without scroll
38. Be actionable
Analyze User Benefits
1. What is the specific action users are
about to take?
- Lead with a familiar verb.
- Be specific with word choice.
2. After selecting, where will users land?
3. What benefit will they get out of taking
this action?
39. Be actionable
Pay attention to the verbs, especially in your
primary call to action.
Buttons & Click-Worthy Calls to
Action, Joanna Wiebe
Gather your data
Analyze User Benefits
Read more
40. Use visual aides
Simplify complex data. Show structure,
highlight key facts, and compare options.
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Bulleted lists
Headers
Tables
Illustrations
41. Use visual aides: General
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Left-aligned text over justified text.
Use parentheses, em dashes, and ellipses.
Use numerals for numbers.
Avoid all caps or excessive exclamation points.
42. Use visual aides: Headings
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Not just navigation.
Stop the reader in their tracks.
Limit punctuation (and look for an “amen”).
Subheadings clarify claims or support them
with proof.
43. Use visual aides: Bulleted Lists
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Five or fewer points.
The first is most important.
Grammatically-parallel items.
If timing is relevant, follow chronological
order.
45. Use visual aides
The format shapes user perceptions; take
advantage of lists, headings, punctuation,
and design.
Formatting & the Essentials of
Web Writing, Joanna Wiebe
Gather your data
First-Click Test
Read more
46. Project Management: Give common words
common meanings.
Search Engine Optimization: Avoid jargon,
promote descriptions and demote exceptions.
Information Architecture: Be precise.
Content Strategy: Be actionable, don’t hide
your verbs.
Usability: Use visual aides, know which
grammar rules matter.
47. Cage Fighting Babies*
A Mobile App Case Study
*I do not endorse the actual fighting of
babies, in cages or otherwise.
49. Know which grammar rules matter
We will create web, Android,
iPhone and iPad application
interfaces.
We will create web, Android,
iPhone, and iPad application
interfaces.
53. Avoid jargon
We’ll use a CMS to interface with the
iOS and Android mobile application.
We’ll use a Content Management
System (CMS) to connect with the
native mobile application.
We’ll use web content tools to
connect with the mobile application.
57. Really, be precise.
If you want extra strength in today’s
battles, the best way to do that is to
check in today, on Foursquare, at
your local Starbucks.
Check in at Starbucks on Foursquare
for extra strength in today’s battles.
61. Promote descriptors, demote exceptions
Did you press the button that is red to
battle, before creating your profile?
Before creating your profile, did you
press the red button to battle?
63. Common words, common meanings
Create character profiles and battle
with bando boxers, buckaroos, and
Martians.
Create character profiles and battle
with ninjas, cowboys, and aliens.
64. Go forth!
1. It’s about consistency, not
“correctness” (see who versus whom).
2. Keep testing.
3. If you wrote a sentence, now you can
write an even better one.
Lauren Therese-Grace Colton
@LaurenTGC
65. •
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Speak to your audience
Avoid jargon
Give common words common meanings
Know which grammar rules matter
Be precise
Promote descriptions, demote exceptions
Don’t hide your verbs
Be actionable
Use visual aides
Lauren Therese-Grace Colton
@LaurenTGC
