1. PHYSICAL AND
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
IN MARRIAGE PART 2
May 23, 2013
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2. SIXPURPOSES OF
MARRIAGE
May 23, 2013
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 A. Companionship
 1. Amos 3:3, “Can two walk
together, except they be agreed?’
 2. True companionship will only
grow out of a oneness of spirit. IT
BRINGS 2 PEOPLE TOGETHERAS
ONE.


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 3. True companionship means you
will worktogetherwithin the home.
 4. Can you disagree and still work
close together?

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 B. Enjoyment
 1. Read Hebrews 13:4
 “Honormarriage, andguardthe
sacredness of sexual intimacybetween
wifeandhusband. Goddraws afirm
lineagainst casual andillicit sex”.
(MSG)
 2. Enjoyment is not something we
have at the expense of our

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 3. Enjoyment has within it the
principle of self-control.
 4. Selfishness must neverbe a part
of yourmarital relationship.
 5. What would happen in most
marriages if each partneralways
sought forthe enjoyment of their
partner?

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 C. Completeness
 1. Read Genesis 2:23
 “TheMansaid, "Finally! Boneof my
bone, fleshof myflesh! Nameher
Womanforshewas madefromMan.“
(MSG)
 2. God designed and gave Eve to Adam
in orderto complete what was lacking
in his life.

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 3. How can we come to the reality
that men cannot make it on their
own but need theirwife?
 4. What happens when we do not see
ourneed forourwife?
Incompleteness.
 5. What happens when we do and
respond accordingly? Completeness.

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 D. Fruitfulness
 1. Lookat God’s first command in
the Scriptures . Genesis 1:28
 “Godblessedthem: "Prosper!
Reproduce! Fill Earth! Takecharge! Be
responsibleforfishintheseaand
birds intheair, foreverylivingthing
that moves onthefaceof Earth.“
(MSG)

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 2. The command is repeated in
Genesis 9:1 and clarified in I Peter
3:7, “...as being heirs togetherof the
grace of life; that yourprayers be
not hindered.”
3. Did God call formarriages to have
children? Some can, some can't, and
some do not want to.

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 4. What is the greatest blessing we
can have in a marriage – lots of
money orthe blessing of children?

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 E. Protection
 1. Read Ephesians 5:25
 “Husbands, go all out inyourlovefor
yourwives, exactlyas Christ didfor
thechurch--alovemarkedbygiving,
not getting”. (MSG)
 2. The husband is to protect his wife
by laying down his life forher.

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 3. The wife is to protect the home.
Read Titus 2:4,5
 4. Together, parents are to protect
theirchildren in orderthat they may
raise up a Godly seed. Read Malachi
2:15 and Psalm 112:1,2

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 5. How can the husband protect the
wife?
a. Spiritual leadership.
b. Financial responsibility.
c. Sincere and complete
commitment.

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 F. To typify Christ and the Church.
 1. Read Ephesians 5:31-33
 “Andthis is whyamanleaves father
andmotherandcherishes his wife. No
longertwo, theybecome"oneflesh."
This is ahugemystery, andIdon't
pretendto understandit all. What is
clearest to meis thewayChrist treats
thechurch.

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 Andthis provides agoodpictureof
how eachhusbandis to treat his
wife, lovinghimself inlovingher,
andhow eachwifeis to honorher
husband”. (MSG)
 2. Ourrelationship in marriage
should be a human object lesson
on the divine relationship between
Christ and believers.

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
3. What happens within a marriage
where the love foreach otheris not
like Christ’s love forthe Church?
 4. There are problems and conflicts.
How do we solve them? Go backto
the instruction book, the Bible.

17. A. What is physical intimacy?
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 1. First, what it is not.
 a. Let me clarify that marriage is
not just physical relations.
 b. It is not just personal
satisfaction.
 c. It is not just receiving.
 d. It is not created by the Devil.
 e. It is not dirty orawful.

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 Why do some people have these kind
of feelings?
* Received some incorrect training
as a child.
* Experienced physical and/orsexual
abuse as a child.

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* Lacks self esteem and has a very
low self image.
* Does not understand true intimacy
in marriage.

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 2. Now, let me give you just a small list
of what it is.
 a. It is a very important part of
marriage.
 b. It is the mutual satisfaction of
each partner.
 c. It is the giving of each otherto
each other.
 d. It is created by God.

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 e. It is clean and wonderful and
designed by God.
 Why do some people understand it
this way?
* They understand what is true
physical intimacy in marriage.
* They have learned from parents or
frompersonal study.

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 3. What is true physical intimacy in
marriage?
 a. It is that private part of
marriage that God designed forthe
intimate relationship of a married
man and woman.

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 b. To understand this we must
understand that God invented
marriage.
 1) Ourspouse is a gift from God.
 2) One clearway in knowing there
is a lackof intimacy is you no longer
lookat each otherin the eyes when
you talk.

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 c. Read Deuteronomy 24:5
 “Whenamantakes anew wife, heis
not to go out withthearmyorbegiven
anybusiness orworkduties. Hegets
oneyearoff simplytobeat home
makinghis wifehappy”. (MSG). The
goal of the husband is to make his
wife happy in the first yearof their
marriage.

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
1) How many of you had a hectic first
yearof marriage?
 2) The first yearof any marriage is
extremely crucial forthe rest of the
marriage.
 3) When the Bible speaks of “to know”
it certainly has to do with sexual
relations but it also has to do with
getting to know yourcompanion to the

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 4) The first yearis very important
because the wife has left the security
of herhome and is confronted with a
whole new set of insecurities.

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 What are some of those insecurities?
 * A new bed partner.
 * A new provider.
 * Impropercourtship will cause your
spouse to feel insecure.
 * As husbands we must create the
right kind of environment to make
ourwives feel secure.

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
How many wives here feel insecure when
yourhusband moves you to some new
territory?
 * Too many people describe theirfirst
yearof marriage as hectic so it should be
understood that it is the man’s
responsibility to make sure the first year
is not hectic.
 * Do not rush into marriage.
 * If you did, start working on it now.

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 d. Maybe you are wondering if there is
any hope foryourmarriage. THERE IS.
 1) Marriage is a spiritual warfare but
you can experience daily victory when
the right principles are applied.
 2) There are two principles:
 a) Eph. 5:25,28 - Husbands are to love
theirwives as Christ loved the church
and as theirown bodies.

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 b) I Peter3:1 - Wives are to honor
and respect theirhusbands.

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 3) These are two separate
commands set forth in the context of
spiritual warfare.
 a) A man wants to be respected.
 * A man wants to be respected
by his employees.
 * Respect makes a man feel
good - this is the thing he cares
about.

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 * Wives learn to praise your
husbands fromthe very beginning of
yourmarriage.
 * A wife may win herhusband
by respecting him.

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
b) A woman wants to be loved.
 * This is the woman’s
greatest need – she wants to be
loved unconditionally forwho she
is.
 * There are three ingredients
of love in the marriage of a
Christian couple.
 Friendship love - afelia

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
Sexual love - erotic
 Love of God - agape: this is what
makes the Christian marriage
different.
 * This intimacy must be built
into the marriage from the first night
of the honeymoon.

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 e. Physical intimacy with women is
farmore complex than it is with men.
 1) It is three dimensional.
 2) It has to do with things like the
weather, beautiful flowers, the
courtesy of opening the door, always
being gentle, and activities which
lead to otherthings.

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 f. Physical intimacy with a man is
very simplistic.
 1) Being so different the husband
must study his wife to seekto
understand herand herneeds.
 2) If the husband is committed to
really knowing herthen she will most
likely be committed to respecting
him.

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
g. Dr. Dobson gives 12 steps to
intimacy.
 1) When these are followed a glue-
like bonding takes place between you
and yourcompanion.
 2) Each step is a little more
intense.
 3) These steps are important
throughout yourmarriage no matter

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 4) TV does not portray these steps
and so neitherdoes oursociety as a
whole.
 5) These steps are:
 1. Eye to body.
 2. Eye to eye.
 3. Voice to voice.
 4. Hand to hand.

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 6. Hand to waist.
 7. Face to face.
 8. Hand to hair.
 9. Hand to body.
 10. Mouth to breast.
 11. Touching below the waist.
 12. Intercourse.