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Class 18
  EWRT 1A
AGENDA
 Presentation: MLA Format

 Editing Strategies: Wordiness

 Discussion: Open for questions

 In-Class Writing: Writing Workshop Editing
MLA Formatting Style
   Hapi Tobia Student
MLA format: on our website under “MLA
                     Guidelines.”
           Download “Hapi Tobia Student”
MLA (Modern Language Association) style is most commonly used to
write papers and cite sources within the liberal arts and humanities.

MLA style specifies guidelines for formatting manuscripts and using the
English language in writing. MLA style also provides writers with a
system for referencing their sources through parenthetical citation in
their essays and Works Cited pages.

Writers who properly use MLA also build their credibility by
demonstrating accountability to their source material. Most importantly,
the use of MLA style can protect writers from accusations of plagiarism,
which is the purposeful or accidental uncredited use of source material
by other writers.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/
Paper Format
Margins and              Header: Last Name
  Formatting                       1

 1” all around             Double Click in
                              Header Area
 Go to “Layout” and
   adjust margins or use    Type your last name
   custom settings
                            Justify right
 Times New Roman
                            Go to “insert” and
   12
                              click on “page
 Indent body                 number”
   paragraphs ½ inch
   from the margin
Heading: Double                   Title
    Spaced

   Your Name            Original Title (not the title
                          of the essay we read)
   Dr. Kim Palmore
                         No italics, bold, underline,
   EWRT 1A
                          or quotation marks
   3 May 2012
                         Centered on the page
                         No extra spaces (just
                          double spaced after your
                          heading and before the
                          body of your text)
Class 18 1 a
Short Quotations
 To indicate short quotations (fewer than four typed
   lines of prose or three lines of verse) in your
   text, enclose the quotation within double quotation
   marks. Provide the author and specific page citation
   (in the case of verse, provide line numbers) in the
   text, and include a complete reference on the Works
   Cited page. Punctuation marks such as
   periods, commas, and semicolons should appear
   after the parenthetical citation. Question marks and
   exclamation points should appear within the
   quotation marks if they are a part of the quoted
   passage but after the parenthetical citation if they
   are a part of your text.
For example, when quoting short passages of prose, use
the following examples:
 According to some, dreams express "profound aspects
   of personality" (Foulkes 184), though others disagree.
 According to Foulkes's study, dreams may express
   "profound aspects of personality" (184).
 Is it possible that dreams may express "profound
   aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184)?
When short (fewer than three lines of verse) quotations from
poetry, mark breaks in short quotations of verse with a slash,
/, at the end of each line of verse (a space should precede
and follow the slash).

 Cullen concludes, "Of all the things that happened there /
   That's all I remember" (11-12).
Long Quotations
 For quotations that extend to more than four lines of
   verse or prose, place quotations in a free-standing
   block of text and omit quotation marks. Start the
   quotation on a new line, with the entire quote
   indented one inch (10 spaces) from the left margin;
   maintain double-spacing. Only indent the first line of
   the quotation by an additional quarter inch if you are
   citing multiple paragraphs. Your parenthetical
   citation should come after the closing punctuation
   mark. When quoting verse, maintain original line
   breaks. (You should maintain double-spacing
   throughout your essay.)
Class 18 1 a
Common Writing
                     Errors
                                    Wordiness




http://dawnreader.blogspot.com/20
12/03/watching-kids-write-i.html
Wordiness: using more words than necessary
to express thought.

Many people write wordy papers because they
are trying to make their ideas sound important
by using long words and intricate sentences.
They think that their writing must be
complicated to seem professional. Although
these writers are trying to impress their readers,
they often end up confusing them. The best
writing is clear, concise, and easy to
understand. Your ideas are much more
impressive when your reader does not have to
Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in
one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine
           redundancy as the following examples show:


       Redundant                       Not Redundant
 The printer is located         The printer is
   adjacent to the computer
                                    adjacent to the
 The printer is located in         computer
   the immediate vicinity of
   the computer               The printer is near the
 The user can visibly see          computer
   the image moving
                                 The user can see the
 He wore a shirt that was          image moving
   blue in color

 The input is suitably          He wore a blue shirt.
   processed
                                 The input is
Now you try it. Write this sentence in as few words as
     possible without changing the meaning!


 The available receptacle, in
  any case, was of insufficient
  size to contain the total
  quantity of unnecessary waste.
How to reduce
              wordiness!
 1. Reduce Long                 2. Reduce Phrases
   Clauses
                                 Likewise, try to reduce
 When editing, try to             phrases to single words:
   reduce long clauses to
   shorter phrases:              Wordy: The clown at the
                                   end of the line tried to
 Wordy: The clown who             sweep up the spotlight.
   was in the center ring
   was riding a tricycle.        Revised: The last clown
                                   tried to sweep up the
 Revised: The clown in            spotlight.
   the center ring was riding
   a tricycle.
Eliminating Wordiness Strategies
   3. Avoid Empty Openers                4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers

   Avoid There is, There are, and        Do not overwork very, really,
    There were as sentence                 totally, and other modifiers that
    openers when There adds                add little or nothing to the
    nothing to the meaning of a            meaning of a sentence.
    sentence:
                                          Wordy: By the time she got
   Wordy: There is a prize in every       home, Merdine was very tired.
    box of Quacko cereal.
                                          Revised: By the time she got
   Revised: A prize is in every box       home, Merdine was exhausted
    of Quacko cereal.
                                          Wordy: She was also really
   Wordy: There are two security          hungry.
    guards at the gate.
                                          Revised: She was also hungry
   Revised: Two security guards           [or famished].
    stand at the gate.
Eliminating Wordiness
 5. Avoid Redundancies

 Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use
   more words than necessary to make a point) with
   precise words. Remember: needless words are
   those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the
   meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and
   distract from our ideas. So cut them out!

 Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our
   work.

 Revised: Now we should edit our work.
Try these!
1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it
was necessary for him to help support his family.

2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced
by the bus company within the next few days.

3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested
in meeting foreign students may come to know one.

4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie on purpose.

5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have
been established for the safety of all.
Possible Answers
1. He dropped out of school to support his family.

2. The bus company will probably announce its
   schedule during the next few days.

3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students
   can do so in many ways.

4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a
   deliberate lie.

5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
Find a Wordy Sentence
 Check your essay for wordiness. Look
  for a sentence that falls into one of the
  categories we just discussed. Edit it for
  clarity and conciseness.
Writing Tips
 Write about literature in present tense

 Write about your experience in past tense

 Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and
   “anything.”

 Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you”
   unless it is in dialogue.
HOMEWORK MAY 2/3
 Post #20: Your final draft of Essay #2

 Study: Vocabulary (1-16)

 Read: HG through chapter 16; SMG 134- 148 and answer the
    following questions: Be ready to talk about these in class!

•   What is the concept about which Ngo writes? Which extended anecdote
    does Ngo use to help explain the concept to his readers? What is his
    thesis? How does he classify his concept? Categories? Types? How does
    he define his concept? Find examples of each his classified concepts.



 Bring: Final draft of Essay #2; SMG

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Class 18 1 a

  • 1. Class 18 EWRT 1A
  • 2. AGENDA  Presentation: MLA Format  Editing Strategies: Wordiness  Discussion: Open for questions  In-Class Writing: Writing Workshop Editing
  • 3. MLA Formatting Style Hapi Tobia Student
  • 4. MLA format: on our website under “MLA Guidelines.” Download “Hapi Tobia Student” MLA (Modern Language Association) style is most commonly used to write papers and cite sources within the liberal arts and humanities. MLA style specifies guidelines for formatting manuscripts and using the English language in writing. MLA style also provides writers with a system for referencing their sources through parenthetical citation in their essays and Works Cited pages. Writers who properly use MLA also build their credibility by demonstrating accountability to their source material. Most importantly, the use of MLA style can protect writers from accusations of plagiarism, which is the purposeful or accidental uncredited use of source material by other writers. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/01/
  • 6. Margins and Header: Last Name Formatting 1  1” all around  Double Click in Header Area  Go to “Layout” and adjust margins or use  Type your last name custom settings  Justify right  Times New Roman  Go to “insert” and 12 click on “page  Indent body number” paragraphs ½ inch from the margin
  • 7. Heading: Double Title Spaced  Your Name  Original Title (not the title of the essay we read)  Dr. Kim Palmore  No italics, bold, underline,  EWRT 1A or quotation marks  3 May 2012  Centered on the page  No extra spaces (just double spaced after your heading and before the body of your text)
  • 9. Short Quotations  To indicate short quotations (fewer than four typed lines of prose or three lines of verse) in your text, enclose the quotation within double quotation marks. Provide the author and specific page citation (in the case of verse, provide line numbers) in the text, and include a complete reference on the Works Cited page. Punctuation marks such as periods, commas, and semicolons should appear after the parenthetical citation. Question marks and exclamation points should appear within the quotation marks if they are a part of the quoted passage but after the parenthetical citation if they are a part of your text.
  • 10. For example, when quoting short passages of prose, use the following examples:  According to some, dreams express "profound aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184), though others disagree.  According to Foulkes's study, dreams may express "profound aspects of personality" (184).  Is it possible that dreams may express "profound aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184)? When short (fewer than three lines of verse) quotations from poetry, mark breaks in short quotations of verse with a slash, /, at the end of each line of verse (a space should precede and follow the slash).  Cullen concludes, "Of all the things that happened there / That's all I remember" (11-12).
  • 11. Long Quotations  For quotations that extend to more than four lines of verse or prose, place quotations in a free-standing block of text and omit quotation marks. Start the quotation on a new line, with the entire quote indented one inch (10 spaces) from the left margin; maintain double-spacing. Only indent the first line of the quotation by an additional quarter inch if you are citing multiple paragraphs. Your parenthetical citation should come after the closing punctuation mark. When quoting verse, maintain original line breaks. (You should maintain double-spacing throughout your essay.)
  • 13. Common Writing Errors Wordiness http://dawnreader.blogspot.com/20 12/03/watching-kids-write-i.html
  • 14. Wordiness: using more words than necessary to express thought. Many people write wordy papers because they are trying to make their ideas sound important by using long words and intricate sentences. They think that their writing must be complicated to seem professional. Although these writers are trying to impress their readers, they often end up confusing them. The best writing is clear, concise, and easy to understand. Your ideas are much more impressive when your reader does not have to
  • 15. Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine redundancy as the following examples show: Redundant Not Redundant  The printer is located  The printer is adjacent to the computer adjacent to the  The printer is located in computer the immediate vicinity of the computer  The printer is near the  The user can visibly see computer the image moving  The user can see the  He wore a shirt that was image moving blue in color  The input is suitably  He wore a blue shirt. processed  The input is
  • 16. Now you try it. Write this sentence in as few words as possible without changing the meaning!  The available receptacle, in any case, was of insufficient size to contain the total quantity of unnecessary waste.
  • 17. How to reduce wordiness!  1. Reduce Long  2. Reduce Phrases Clauses  Likewise, try to reduce  When editing, try to phrases to single words: reduce long clauses to shorter phrases:  Wordy: The clown at the end of the line tried to  Wordy: The clown who sweep up the spotlight. was in the center ring was riding a tricycle.  Revised: The last clown tried to sweep up the  Revised: The clown in spotlight. the center ring was riding a tricycle.
  • 18. Eliminating Wordiness Strategies  3. Avoid Empty Openers  4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers  Avoid There is, There are, and  Do not overwork very, really, There were as sentence totally, and other modifiers that openers when There adds add little or nothing to the nothing to the meaning of a meaning of a sentence. sentence:  Wordy: By the time she got  Wordy: There is a prize in every home, Merdine was very tired. box of Quacko cereal.  Revised: By the time she got  Revised: A prize is in every box home, Merdine was exhausted of Quacko cereal.  Wordy: She was also really  Wordy: There are two security hungry. guards at the gate.  Revised: She was also hungry  Revised: Two security guards [or famished]. stand at the gate.
  • 19. Eliminating Wordiness  5. Avoid Redundancies  Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use more words than necessary to make a point) with precise words. Remember: needless words are those that add nothing (or nothing significant) to the meaning of our writing. They bore the reader and distract from our ideas. So cut them out!  Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our work.  Revised: Now we should edit our work.
  • 20. Try these! 1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family. 2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days. 3. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one. 4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose. 5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.
  • 21. Possible Answers 1. He dropped out of school to support his family. 2. The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the next few days. 3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many ways. 4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie. 5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.
  • 22. Find a Wordy Sentence  Check your essay for wordiness. Look for a sentence that falls into one of the categories we just discussed. Edit it for clarity and conciseness.
  • 23. Writing Tips  Write about literature in present tense  Write about your experience in past tense  Avoid using “thing,” “something,” “everything,” and “anything.”  Avoid writing in second person. (Don’t use “you” unless it is in dialogue.
  • 24. HOMEWORK MAY 2/3  Post #20: Your final draft of Essay #2  Study: Vocabulary (1-16)  Read: HG through chapter 16; SMG 134- 148 and answer the following questions: Be ready to talk about these in class! • What is the concept about which Ngo writes? Which extended anecdote does Ngo use to help explain the concept to his readers? What is his thesis? How does he classify his concept? Categories? Types? How does he define his concept? Find examples of each his classified concepts.  Bring: Final draft of Essay #2; SMG