Child Dev Ages6 19 Moving Children Safe Conf Mar2010

Child Development:
Guidelines for Effective Education & Parenting
For Children Ages 6-19

Teens & Extremes Workshop
Moving Children Safely Conference
San Francisco Airport Marriott
March 15, 2010

Los Angeles County
Department of Public Health
Injury & Violence Prevention Program
Contact: James DeCarli, MPH, MPA, CHES
(213) 351-7888

Age 6
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To learn to distinguish between reality and fantasy.
To become comfortable with own gender identity.
To make connections and distinctions between feelings, thoughts, and actions.
To solve problems by initiating and creating.
Indicators Related to Developmental Lag
Excessive fears; extreme separation anxiety; bedwetting; shyness; threatening or bullying peers;
inhibited play; ritualistic behaviors, especially around food; persistent speech problems and problems
centering around toileting; excessive fear of strangers; lack of interest in others.
Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 3 to 7, each may be more
observable at specific times.

Physical Development
Normal Characteristics Effective Education & Parenting Strategies
Is vigorous, full of energy, and generally restless, Provide opportunities for a variety of physical
e.g., foot tapping, wiggling, being unable to sit still. activities.
Is clumsy due to poor coordination. Don't point out or emphasize clumsiness or change
Is in an ugly duckling stage. Has growth spurts. of appearance.
May occasionally wet or soil him-/herself when Accept accidents calmly as the child is apt to be
upset or excited. embarrassed.
Has marked awareness of sexual differences; may Give simple, honest answers in a calm manner.
want to look at bodies of opposite sex (playing
doctor, house, etc.); touches and plays with
genitals less frequently; will accept the idea that a
baby grows in the womb.
Has unpredictable preferences and strong refusals; Provide balanced meals, but don't be overly
often develops a passion for peanut butter. concerned with child's preferences or passion.
Eats with fingers and talks with mouth full. Don't overreact; set a good example.
Commonly suffers more colds, sore throats, and Be aware of disease symptoms. Crankiness may
other illness, because of exposure at school. precede an illness. Child needs plenty of rest and
balanced meals.

Intellectual Development
May develop stuttering when under stress. Remember, language disturbance is temporary and
may disappear of its own accord.
Wants all of everything and finds it difficult to make Do not offer excessive choices, but provide
choices. opportunities for making decisions.
Begins to have organized, continuous memories; Promote child's reading and writing (e.g., letters to
most children learn to read and write, although relatives and friends, opportunity to create stories).
some don't until after age 7.

Continued other side…

Social Development
May blame mother for anything that goes wrong. Provide consistent, caring responses to child's blame
Male children will identify strongly with father. or over-identification.
Child doesn't like being kissed in public, especially Be sensitive.
boys.
Identifies with adults outside the family (e.g., Accept this as okay.
teacher, neighbor).
Friendships are unstable; is sometimes unkind to Provide guidance in making and keeping friends.
peers; is a tattletale.
Must be a winner; changes rules to fit own needs; Help child to be a good loser.
may have no group loyalty.
In school, may develop problems if expectations Keep in touch with the school. Be alert for feelings of
are too high; has trouble concentrating; may fool frustration and failure in the child.
around, whisper, or bother other children.
Perpetual activity makes meals difficult. Breakfast Allow extra time for breakfast.
may be the most difficult meal.

Emotional Development
Feels insecure as a result of drive toward Give child time, freedom, and opportunities to
independence. practice being independent.
Finds it difficult to accept criticism, blame, or Be patient and understanding.
punishment.
Child is center of own world and tends to be Accept apparent selfishness.
boastful.
Generally is rigid, negative, demanding, un- Set reasonable limits, offer explanation of limits, help
adaptable, slow to respond; exhibits violent child keep within them.
extremes; tantrums reappear.
If not the winner, often makes accusations that Avoid games that designate a winner.
others are cheating.

Moral Development
Is very concerned with personal behavior, Teach the child to be concerned and responsible for
particularly as it affects family and friends; own behavior. Assure child that everyone makes
sometimes blames others for own wrongdoing. mistakes.

Source: Material obtained from Washington State, Department of Social & Health Services March, 2010

Age 7
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To develop a sense of accomplishment centered around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal with peers,
competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.
To develop and test values and beliefs, which guide present and future behaviors.
Excessive concerns about competition and performance, especially in school; extreme rebellion;
teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent unconcern with
completion of tasks (procrastination); overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks, e.g.,
combing hair, going to the store, tying shoes, finding a restroom in a restaurant; social isolation; lack
of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g.,
teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting.
Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable at
specific times.

Drives self until exhausted. Assist child in changing activity to avoid complete
exhaustion; be aware of child's physical limits.
May frequently pout. Be patient, as child may not necessarily unhappy or
dissatisfied, but is going through a stage.
Now has well-established hand-eye coordination and is Provide opportunities and materials for drawing and
likely to be more interested in drawing and printing. printing.
May have minor accidents. Have plenty of fun band-aids on hand.
Is less interested in sex play and experimentation; can Encourage child-infant relationship, if present.
be very excited about new baby in family.
Has fewer illnesses but may have colds of long duration; Fine tune your supportive bedside manner.
appetite is decreasing.
May develop nervous habits or assume awkward Be patient with annoying habits, and do not draw
positions, e.g., sitting upside down on the couch, attention to
constant foot tapping.

Is eager for learning. Uses reflective, serious thinking. Ask many thought-provoking questions. Stimulate
Thoughts can be based on logic; child can solve more thinking with open-ended stories, riddles, thinking games,
complex problems. Attention span is good. discussions. Give many opportunities for decision making
and selecting what he/she would do in particular
situations.
Enjoys hobbies and skills. Likes to collect things and talk Encourage the pursuit of hobbies and interests.
about personal projects, writings, and drawings.
Favors reality. Add stories that deal with reality. Provide biographies to
read.


Social Development
Will avoid and withdraw from adults; has strong Show understanding and concern.
emotional responses to teacher; may complain that
teacher is unfair or mean.
Likes more responsibility and independence. Is often Assign responsibilities and tasks that can be carried out,
concerned about doing well. and then praise child's efforts and accomplishments. Help
child accept own performance.
Participates in loosely organized group play. Encourage appropriate social interaction.
Concerned with self and others' reactions. May fear Help child evaluate his or her perceptions of others'
being late; may have trouble on the playground; "kids behaviors.
are cheating" or "teacher picks on me" often said.
May use aggression as a means to solve problems. Attempt to prevent conflicts before they erupt.
Starts division of sexes (girls play with girls/boys with Encourage nontraditional gender based activities.
boys).

May complain a lot ("Nobody likes me," "I'm going to Provide reasonable sympathy.
run away," etc.).
May not respond promptly or hear directions; may Remind and check as necessary.
forget; is easily distracted.
May withdraw or not interact with others, in an Provide personal support and reassurance.
attempt to build a sense of self.

Moral Development
May experience guilt and shame. Acknowledge and support child's standards and discuss
reasonableness of child's expectations. Encourage the
child to be self-forgiving.
Focus on the worth of an individual rather than on
behavior. Then work on changing the behavior.


Age 8
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills, deal
with peers, competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.
teasing; whining; headaches, nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; extreme procrastination;
overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks, e.g., combing hair, going to the store, tying
shoes, finding a restroom; social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests;
inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying;
bedwetting; fire-setting.
Note: Although these tasks and indicators may be present during ages 7 to 12, each may be more observable
at specific times.

Is busy and active; has frequent accidents. Sympathize and comfort.
Makes faces, wiggles, clowns. Don't take it seriously.
May frequently urinate as a result of anxiety. Be tolerant; it's not deliberate.
Has good appetite; wolfs down food; belches Except for belching, rejoice!
spontaneously; may accept new foods.
Has improved health with a few short illnesses. Rejoice again.

Wants to know the reasons for things. Answer questions patiently.
Often overestimates own ability; generalizes instances Direct child toward attempting what can be
of failure with such statements as, "I never get anything accomplished, but still provide challenges. Stress what
right." the child has learned and not the end product.
Wants more information about pregnancy and birth; Continue to be available to answer questions.
may question father's role.


Social Development
Demands love and understanding from mother. Love and accept.
Makes new friends easily; works at establishing good Assist with scouting or sport groups. Go to activities, such
two-way relationships; develops close friend of own as his/her concerts. Be a part of his/her school life.
sex. Considers clubs and groups important; enjoys
school, doesn't like to be absent, and tends to talk more
about it.
Is not interested in family table conversations; wants to Remain understanding of child's needs and feelings.
finish meal in order to get to other business.
May "peep" at each other and at parents. Tells dirty Do not overly focus on child's behavior. Set reasonable
jokes, laughs, and giggles. limits.

Has more secrets. Provide child with a locked box or drawer.
May be excessive in self-criticism; tends to dramatize Do not criticize. Encourage efforts. Teach that others also
everything; is very sensitive. make mistakes.
Has fewer and more reasonable fears. Build on their confidences.
May argue and resist requests and instructions, but will Keep directions simple; avoid "I already know" responses
obey eventually. by not overdirecting.
Likes immediate rewards for behavior. Provide small but meaningful rewards for
accomplishments.
Is usually affectionate, helpful, cheerful, outgoing, and Allow expression of negative emotions while maintaining
curious; can also be rude, selfish, bossy and demanding, limits. Be patient with giggling and accept humor.
giggly and silly.

Moral Development
May experience guilt and shame. Acknowledge and support the child's standards and
discuss reasonableness of child's expectations. Encourage
the child to be self-forgiving.
Focus on the worth of an individual rather than on
behavior. Then work on changing the behavior.


Age 9
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To develop a sense of accomplishment, which centers around the ability to learn and apply skills,
deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater physical strength.
teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent lack of concern with
completion of tasks (procrastination); overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks;
social isolation; lack of friends and involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with
"older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing; pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting.
at specific times.

Engages in active, rough-and-tumble play (especially Provide many opportunities to sustain interest. Include
boys); has great interest in team games. team games.
Has good body control; is interested in developing Provide opportunities for developing skills through the
strength, skill, and speed; likes more complicated crafts use of handicrafts and active games.
and work-related tasks.
Girls are beginning to develop faster than boys. Do not compare boys and girls or force them to interact.
Start teaching about bodily changes. Explain
menstruation to both sexes.

Has definite interests and lively curiosity; seeks facts; Give specific information and facts.
capable of prolonged interest; can do more abstract Adjust learning opportunities to child's interests and
thinking and reasoning. increased attention span. Do not give all the answers;
allow time to think, meditate, and discuss.
Individual differences become more marked. Respect and be aware of individual differences when
making assignments and giving responsibilities.
Likes reading, writing, and using books and references. Provide opportunities for reading, writing, and using
reference materials; do not burden the child, however.
Likes to collect things. Help with hobbies.


Social Development
Boys and girls differ in personalities, characteristics, and Accept natural separation of boys and girls. Recognize
interests; are very group and club oriented but always and support the need for acceptance from peer group.
with same sex; sometimes silly within group.
Boys, especially, begin to test and exercise a great deal Be warm but firm. Establish and enforce reasonable
of independence. limits.
Is most interested in friends and social activities; likes Encourage friendships and help child who may have few
group adventures and cooperative play. or no friends.

May have some behavior problems, especially if not Let the child know you accept him/her, even though you
accepted by others. do not approve of specific behaviors.
Is becoming very independent, dependable, and Provide many opportunities for exercising independence
trustworthy. and dependability. Praise these positive characteristics.

Moral Development
very conscious of fairness; is highly competitive; argues Be fair in dealings and relationships with child. Provide
over fairness; has difficulty admitting mistakes but is opportunities for competing, but help child see that
becoming more capable of accepting failures and losing is a part of playing. Do not ridicule, but help child
mistakes and taking responsibility for them. learn to take responsibility for behavior.
Is clearly acquiring a conscience; is aware of right and Express your love and support for the child who falls
wrong; wants to do right, but sometimes overreacts or short of meeting your personal standards of right and
rebels against a strict conscience. wrong.


Age 10
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
deal with peers, competition, self-control, and greater strength.
teasing; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent procrastination;
overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks; social isolation; lack of friends and
involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing;
pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting.
at specific times.

Girls may have rapid weight increase. Provide good nutrition.
Boys are more active and rough; motor skills are well- To fine tune manual skills, put in a basketball hoop
developed. and/or provide roller blades.

Is alert, poised, and concerned with fads; argues Encourage/teach child to use logic in thinking and
logically. problem-solving.
Is good time to discuss drug abuse.
May like to read. Provide books geared to interests.
May begin to show talent. Has many interests of short Provide lessons in music, art, and other interests.
duration.

affectionate with parents; has great pride in father; Spend time with the child.
finds mother all-important.
Is highly selective in friendships; may have one best Accept child's need for, and choice of, friends and feeling
friend; important to be "in" with the gang; may develop of being "in".
hero worship.


Social Development
affectionate with parents; has great pride in father; Spend time with the child.
finds mother all-important.
Is highly selective in friendships; may have one best Accept child's need for, and choice of, friends and feeling
friend; important to be "in" with the gang; may develop of being "in".
hero worship.

Is concerned with style. Allow child to select clothes and hair style, within a firm
budget.
Is casual and relaxed. Enjoy!
Likes privacy. Provide for personal space.
Girls mature faster than boys. Provide reassurance as needed.
Not an angry age; anger, when it comes, is violent and Recognize and accept angry feelings, tears of temporary
immediate; seldom cries but may cry when angry. duration, and outbursts.
Main worry concerns school and peer relationships. Provide opportunities for appropriate socialization.

Moral Development
Has strong sense of justice and a strict moral code. Recognize that the child's sense of justice is limited to
own world. Accept rigidity and support the child's
concerns about right and wrong. Don't belittle.
More concerned with what is wrong than what is right. Acknowledge injustice


Age 11
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
deal with peer competition, self-control, and greater strength.
To come to terms with and accept the dramatic changes in the body (e.g., development of breasts,
muscles; voice changes; pubic and facial hair).
teasing; whining; headaches; nervous stomach; ulcers; nervous tics; consistent procrastination;
overdependence on caregivers for age-appropriate tasks; social isolation; lack of friends and
involvements; few interests; inappropriate relationships with "older" people, e.g., teenagers; stealing;
pathological lying; bedwetting; fire-setting.
at specific times.

Is increasingly aware of body. Answer questions about bodily changes openly and
honestly.
Possibility of acting on sexual desires increases. Be aware of where youth is and with whom; encourage
group activities and discourage solo dating.
Girls begin to show secondary sex characteristics. Ensure that girls understand menstruation. Both boys and
girls need sexual education.
Boys are ahead of girls in endurance and muscular Don't nag boys about food intake and seeming "laziness."
development. Rapid growth may mean large appetite
but less energy.
May show self-consciousness about learning new skills. Provide support and encouragement for youth's quest for
new skills. Don't minimize or dismiss his/her lack of
confidence.

Challenges adult knowledge; has increased ability to Don't become defensive; child is not challenging your
use logic. authority.
May have interest in earning money. Problem solve with youth on ways to earn income.
Is critical of own artistic products. Accept youth's feelings but try to help youth evaluate
his/her works more objectively.
Is becoming interested in world and community; may Support interest in walkathons, helping neighbors, etc.
like to participate in community activities.


Social Development
Anger is common; resents being told what to do; rebels Help child set the rules and decide own responsibilities.
at routines. Give child opportunity to make decisions.
Often is moody; dramatizes and exaggerates own Don't overreact to moodiness and exaggerated positions.
positions (e.g., "You're the worst mother in the
world!").
Experiences many fears, many worries, many tears. Be understanding and supportive.

Anger is common; resents being told what to do; rebels Help child set the rules and decide own responsibilities.
at routines. Give child opportunity to make decisions.
Often is moody; dramatizes and exaggerates own Don't overreact to moodiness and exaggerated positions.
positions (e.g., "You're the worst mother in the
world!").
Experiences many fears, many worries, many tears. Be understanding and supportive.

Moral Development
Has strong urge to conform to peer-group morals. Assist child in examining morals of the group without
condemnation. Recognize youth's need to belong to a
peer group outside the family.
Be aware of the values of the group and help the
youngster understand the consequences of own
choices among group values.


Ages 12-15
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To create own personal identity based upon the integration of values and a sense of self in relation to
society, others, the opposite sex, the future, vocation, ideas, and the cosmos.
Delays in physical and sexual development, depression, suicide attempts, sense of isolation,
loneliness, impulsiveness, extreme rebellion, denial of feelings, poor hygiene, fantasy as an escape
from problems, alcohol/drug abuse, anorexia nervosa, bulimia, obesity, sexual activity to provide
missing nurturance, prostitution, stealing, pathological lying, psychosis, truancy, running away,
pregnancy, juvenile delinquency.

Experiences sudden and rapid increases in height, Provide more food.
weight, and strength with the onset of adolescence.
Girls are gradually reaching physical and sexual Explain to child what is happening.
maturity. Boys are beginning to mature physically and Discourage comparison with peers, but be aware of
sexually. problems of late maturation.
Acne appears, especially with certain types of skin. May need special diet and/or medication to treat acne.
Assure teen that it will clear up eventually.
Is concerned with appearance. Comment favorably on youth's concern with appearance.
Increased likelihood of acting on sexual desires. Provide accurate information on consequences of sexual
activity. Discuss birth control and safe sex practices (HIV
prevention).

Thrives on arguments and discussions. Don't let discussions become arguments; don't put down
the youth's ideas.
Increasingly able to memorize; to think logically about Encourage exploration of thought and deed; provide
concepts; to engage in introspection and probing into books, library card, etc.
own thinking; to plan realistically for the future.
May read a great deal. Talk to youth about reading; offer suggested readings.
Needs to feel important in world and to believe in Encourage youth to join causes, attend religious and
something community groups, etc.


Social Development
Withdraws from parents, who are invariably called "old- Don't feel hurt or take it personally. Remember you are
fashioned." still important, but not in the same way that you were.
Boys usually resist any show of affection. Respect boundaries but continue to be affectionate.
Usually feels parents are too restrictive; rebels. Set clear, firm, but flexible limits.
Needs less family companionship and interaction. Allow youth more opportunities for independent social
activities.
Has less intense friendships with those of the same sex; Don't criticize youth's need for friends or particular
usually has whole gang of friends. Girls show more friends.
interest in opposite sex than do boys.
Annoyed by younger siblings. Accept youth's feelings and help younger siblings cope
with rejection.

Commonly sulks; directs verbal anger at authority Accept feelings and expect respect for your feelings as
figure. well.
Worries about grades, appearance, and popularity; is Don't dismiss youth's concerns; provide accurate
withdrawn, introspective. feedback.

Moral Development
Knows right and wrong; tries to weigh alternatives and Facilitate youth's decision making.
arrive at decisions alone.
Is concerned about fair treatment of others; is usually Demonstrate respect for youth as an emerging adult.
reasonably thoughtful; is unlikely to lie.


Ages 16-19
Child Development
Developmental Tasks
To create own personal identity based upon the integration of values and a sense of self in relation to
society, others, the opposite sex, the future, vocations, ideas, and the cosmos. To establish
independence from the family.
Depression, suicide attempts, sense of isolation, loneliness, impulsiveness, extreme rebellion, denial
of feelings, poor hygiene, fantasy as an escape from problems, drug/alcohol abuse, anorexia,
bulimia, obesity, sexual activity to provide missing nurturance, prostitution, stealing, pathological
lying, psychosis, fire-setting, violent assault, truancy, running away, pregnancy, juvenile
delinquency, cults, early marriages that are likely to fail, hatred and rejection of family.

Has essentially completed physical maturation; physical Recognize and compliment physical maturity.
features are shaped and defined.
Probability of acting on sexual desires increases. Provide accurate information on consequences of sexual
activity, discuss birth control and HIV prevention.

May lack information or self-assurance about personal Facilitate appointment with school counselor.
skills and abilities.
Seriously concerned about the future; beginning to Encourage talking about and planning for future.
integrate knowledge leading to decisions about future.

Social Development
Relationships with parents range from friendly to Try to maintain good relationship; be respectful and
hostile. friendly.
Sometimes feels that parents are "too interested." Try not to pry.
Usually has many friends and few confidants; dates Recognize and accept current level of interest in opposite
actively; varies greatly in level of maturity; may be sex. Encourage experiences with a variety of people, e.g.,
uncomfortable, or enjoy activities, with opposite sex; younger, older, different cultures.
may talk of marriage.
May be strongly invested in a single, romantic Avoid disapproval; discuss needs and expectations that
relationship. get met in the relationship.


Social Development
Relationships with parents range from friendly to Try to maintain good relationship; be respectful and
hostile. friendly.
Sometimes feels that parents are "too interested." Try not to pry.
Usually has many friends and few confidants; dates Recognize and accept current level of interest in opposite
actively; varies greatly in level of maturity; may be sex. Encourage experiences with a variety of people, e.g.,
uncomfortable, or enjoy activities, with opposite sex; younger, older, different cultures.
may talk of marriage.
May be strongly invested in a single, romantic Avoid disapproval; discuss needs and expectations that
relationship. get met in the relationship.

Commonly sulks; directs verbal anger at authority Accept feelings and expect respect for your feelings as
figure. well.
Worries about grades, appearance, and popularity; is Don't dismiss youth's concerns; provide accurate
withdrawn, introspective. feedback.

Moral Development
Is confused and disappointed about discrepancies Be sensitive to youth's feelings and thoughts. Try to bring
between stated values and actual behaviors of family them out in the open. Understand your own perspectives
and friends; experiences feelings of frustration, anger, relating to values.
sorrow, and isolation.
May be interested in sex as response to physical- Don't moralize. Accept sexual experimentation as normal
emotional urges and as a way to participate in the adult and healthy, although discourage them from unprotected
world (but not necessarily an expression of mature coital sex. Provide correct information on human
intimacy). sexuality, venereal disease, HIV and AIDS, birth control,
intimacy, and safe types of sexual experimentation.
Communicate your feelings about sexual relations.
Be open to discussion and appreciate possible
differences in values and needs.


Child Dev Ages6 19 Moving Children Safe Conf Mar2010

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