4. How do we help children deal with their emotional feelings?
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14. Talking – school age Once trust has been established, school age children can be encouraged to talk about things that make them happy, sad, angry, upset, excited, fearful, ashamed and so on
Responding to emotional outbursts At times, children experience intense emotions. It is not surprising, therefore, that emotional outbursts that are disruptive and upsetting for all concerned are likely to occur from time to time. You may find all the children have extreme mood swings. Being angry and disruptive one minute, withdrawn the next and then upset and crying soon after It is important to respond to such outbursts with sensitivity and empathy while at the same time ensuring the physical and emotional safety of other children in the group. What do we do in this instance? Try removing the child from the group and find a quiet place where he/she can regain composure. If the child is beyond reason, quickly remove other children from the vicinity for safety and allow the child time to calm down.
An important part of helping children cope with life events that cause them serious emotional distress is to provide them with with opportunities to express their emotions in ways that will not cause further distress. Encourage children to draw how they are feeling Help child to write a story about how they are feeling Act out emotions through music and movement Allow acting out of anger and other emotions during dramatic play as long as it does not endanger or impinge on the rights and safety of other children
Many researchers believe that helping children talk about their emotions helps children distance themselves from the feelings they are experiencing This gives them some space to think about how they re feeling, and why they are feeling that way and what will happen because they are feeling like this (Kuebli, 1994). The way we talk about feelings with children will influence how they organise their own emotions and responses to those emotions. Before we can help children to talk about how they are feeling, however, we need to help them identify and label a broad range of feelings.
Play matching faces with faceless figures engaged in social interaction Play card games where children are asked to pair opposite feelings Play charades where children are asked to act out feelings for other children to guess
Find faces and figures that represent specific feelings to use in collage and paste activities
Be sensitive
After children can label a broad range of feelings they can be encouraged to talk about their own feelings This may be difficult for children who have already learned that expressing their feelings is likely to result in in violence and abuse. It will take a lot of TRUST before children will be ready to talk about how they are feeling
Once trust has been established, school age children can be encouraged to talk about things that make them happy, sad, angry, upset, excited, fearful,, ashamed and so on
Handout P185 – discussion re Maria You can see that Maria handled her interaction with Luke very sensitively. She provided a model for talking about feelings and encouraged him to talk about his own feelings but responded sensitively the moment she sensed he felt uncomfortable. She also made sure that she provided him with physical comfort the moment he showed signs of distress. What might have happened if she had put pressure ion him to talk? Remember – trust is the key to helping children overcome their difficulties Do not jeopardise the trust you have by being insensitive to their way of communicating.
Listen to the words children are using to express themselves Use these same words in your interactions with them Be sensitive to non-verbal cues Listen for children using storytelling as a form of communicating their feelings. Use storytelling in responses to children
Use active listening – what are some of the pointers to active listening? Help children apply problem-solving processes to their situation – how might we do that?
Observe children’s behaviour, play and social interactions regularly for signs they may be experiencing distress With children who are known to have stress in their lives and may even be living in traumatic situaltions, it becomes even more important to ibserve and carefully monitor their emotional wellbeing. Changes in children’s behaviour could indicate further abuse or trauma or that the child’s ability to cope is waning. This is generally a signal that a referral to a specialist support service is necessary
How do we cope with change? Have you ever been in a situation where you think you know what is happening then suddenly you find that people around you have changed arrangements and you find yourself doing something completely different? Ie How would you feel if you wanted to go to a particular shopping centre to buy an item because you knew a certain shop there had just what you wanted. A friend offers tro drive you there and on the way you realise you are heading in a different direction. When you question the friend she says she has decided to go to a different shopping centre for a change. – How would you feel? Children like most adults need time top adjust to change and they need time to process how it will effect them . Read top of page 187. Then ( HANDOUT Jane and Gerry) THEN follow book from P187