1. Saadia Z. Yunus, MA, MFT
www.facebook.com/TheMuslimMFT
TheMuslimMFT@gmail.com
The strongest chains are not always visible…
2. Marriage in Islam
The Qur'an
says: "Your
spouses are a
garment for
you, and you are
a garment for
them" (2:187)
"It is He who created you from
a single soul, And made its
mate of like nature in order
that you might dwell with
him/her in love...."(7:189)
So the male and female
complete each other - together
they make a single self and this
is how they must strive to make
their lives together - as if they
are one being, one person, one
spirit.
3. A Strong Foundation
The marital
relationship is the
foundation of the
building called
family
Order of
Importance
God, Spouse, Chil
dren
The BEST thing
you can do for your
kids is LOVE your
spouse
4. A Good Divorce VS. Bad Marriage
Empirical evidence suggests that children are harmed
less by the elements of a divorce than the discord
between dysfunctional parents
A low-conflict environment is crucial to the healthy
growth of a child
5. Child’s Mental/Physical Health
Mental and physical
health:
Child perceptions of
parent marital quality
directly predict mental
health indicators—
anxiety, depression, and
internalizing behaviors
Parent marital conflict is
related to overall child
health, digestive
problems, fatigue, and
chronic illness
Adolescents
Substance
use, sexual
activity, religio
us activity, and
education
outcomes
6. Marital Conflict
The slightest hint of aggression or hostility sparks a sharp
increase in cortisol levels and cardiac stress in children
Children exhibit same stress reaction when parents:
yell at each other
are contemptuous with each other
call each other names
roll eyes
give out an exasperated sigh
avoid their partner
use intimidation (e.g. point a finger at their partner or glare at
them, etc.)
7. Teaching By Example
Children witnessing unhealthy communication
patterns between their parents grow up with a
misunderstanding of what a healthy relationship looks
like
Witnessing marital conflict that is resolved with
respect, warmth and empathy has shown to have a
very positive effect on children learning how to
manage stress in a healthy way and teaching them
how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner
8. Healthy Family
Individuals exist within relationships
Family roles:
Husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, sister, br
other
Hierarchy: Husband and wife
Boundaries: Rigid Vs. Diffuse:
How close are you?
Triangles, Coalitions
Coparenting is essential!
Head coaches of the same team
Discipline within the arena
9. Healthy Couples
Successful marriages have a higher ratio of positivity vs.
negativity
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Dr.
Gottman, based on decades of research)
Enhance your love maps
2. Nurture fondness and admiration
3. Turn toward each other instead of away
4. Let your partner influence you
5. Solve your solvable problems
6. Overcome gridlock
7. Create shared meaning
1.
10. Get help before it is too late…
It is better for you. It’s better for your children.
Gottman-The average couple waits six years before
seeking help for marital problems
Half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven
years
This means that the average couple lives with
unhappiness for far too long.
11. The Prophet (S), the Therapist
Islam encourages therapy
He did not have one answer for
every question
Paid attention to
people, considered their
psychology, articulated his
counseling in a way that would
help them specifically
Ability to empathize with people;
Non-judgmental
Get rid of the stigma! It is good to
go to therapy
13. The End: Resources
Resources:
Books:
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families --Stephen R. Covey
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work --Dr. John Gottman
and Nan Silver
THERAPISTS:
TheMuslimMFT@gmail.com
Find me on Facebook and Twitter
www.therapistlocator.net
Online Islamic University counseling
References: The University of
Notre Dame, 2002, ASPE, 2009, Wendi Hill, 2012,
